


the after

by Shespitsfire



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Resurrection, Slow Burn, exploration of trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2020-09-24 22:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 98,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20365786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shespitsfire/pseuds/Shespitsfire
Summary: It's five years after Naraku.One has returned to the past.One isn't acting like herself.One resurrects.*Nominated 2020 2nd Quarterly Inuyasha Fandom Awards (run by FeudalConnection): Best Canon, Best Angst**Nominated 2020 3rd Quarterly Inuyasha Fandom Awards (run by FeudalConnection): Best Character Portrayal - Sesshomaru*





	1. Prologue

_PROLOGUE_

She’d been freed from physical limitations. 

The gentle breeze carrying a single flower petal for miles, or the air filling a newborn kitsune’s lungs; each roaring gust that struck deep clefts into the cliffside and churning gale that stirred the bottom of an ocean otherwise untouched -- Kagura was everything. 

She could climb as high and run as far as she wanted. 

Freedom wasn’t just her right.

It was her essence. 

* * *

He felt her in the air, some moments. Lips would part -- unnoticeable to his clueless traveling companions -- and he would taste her scent, licking up past his fangs and sinking into the chasm of his chest. 

She wasn’t there always; even the wind left the Western lands in the dry season. He wondered where else she had traveled, if anyone else could feel her presence. 

If she’d had corporeal form still, she might have raised an eyebrow at him and chuckled, “Why think about such things; are you jealous?” 

* * *

She didn’t know how many years it was before she could manifest a physical form again. Part of her felt like it was a curse; she’d had no obligations or duties in her guardian form. No capacity for hunger or exhaustion, which she now felt more strongly than her body under Naraku’s control had. Not to mention shifting between a more traditional shape and her new one was quite painful for a while. She’d stumble while walking, her limbs far too heavy, and the beating of her own heart and the memories it triggered often moved her to tears.

After a few months, the pain had dulled to a manageable twinge, and she finally could experience her body as more of a tool than a burden. 

No matter how much time had passed, however, she was unable to explain how or why it had happened. Kagura wasn’t the kind of being to care much about the decisions of the gods anyway, so long as she still felt free. 

* * *

She’d stopped visiting. He wondered if it had been his imagination.

If so, it was a damning blow to his ego, for such hallucinations could only speak to a lack of self-control. He’d always prided his resignation to the ways of the world -- death was the end result for all things.

Wishing for anything else was a waste of time. 

* * *

Only in the darkest, latest hours would she allow herself to wonder what he would think if he saw her again. 

Fingers playing with the branches of the tallest trees, she’d float all night over broad forests and fantasize. Her physical form was deeply similar to the last one, except for the beating organ in her chest and the absence of a spider-shaped scar across her spine. Her scent, too, no longer carried her former master’s taint. 

Would that please him? Did he yearn for more than just the kiss of a breeze against his face, the way she had teased him over the years? 

Who was she kidding; the Lord of the West yearned for nothing and no one. 

But in the pockets of night she would rustle over earth and stone, practicing how she would touch him now. 

* * *

He watched the storms from his palace.

Despite Jaken’s fear-ridden screams and Ah-Un’s groans, he found the squalls intriguing. There was such power in the wind, in each strike of lightning that ripped across the sky and roar of the air. Some days afterward he would venture out into his territory to survey the damage. How many fields had been torn through, sand from the oceans far away mixed with the soil? Would he come across the remains of a nearby village, roofs and walls flung across his land like children’s toys? 

_ It doesn’t seem quite her style _ , he’d think. But then he remembered her penchant for childish tantrums. 

If it was Kagura, somehow, then he’d have to punish her for damaging what was his. 

* * *

Would going to him mean spitting in the face of her new fortune? 

She had no master; the wind gods knew of her existence, but had seen fit to leave her alone as she had not the age (nor temperament) to be even a lesser goddess within their charge. She had no attachments to a particular area; yokai and humans alike did not impress her, and she grew bored with tending to fields and valleys and mountaintops. A few times, she’d crossed paths with the actual guardians of a place and been asked directly to _leave! _It seemed as though rudeness was possible for creatures of any form. She’d fought out of principle, not a desire to stay. 

And so what if she’d ended up the loser? In a century or two, who knew what her powers would be like. And even if she  _ had _ been assigned an area of protection, she would have fought against that too. Freedom was Kagura’s god now, and she wouldn’t allow any being to force her into duty that she herself did not choose. 

Duty was his greatest love. He’d fought entire wars for it, crushed bones and rained blood over his lands to solidify the claim. If she dared to make her presence known, she would have no means to reside in his territory if he rejected her. 

And if he did not...would he ever allow something he viewed as  _ his  _ to leave? 


	2. One

If anyone had asked, he wouldn’t have ever admitted to feeling surprise. When the wind had swept around him, he’d barely acknowledged it, his thoughts on the most recent visit with Rin. 

She was twelve now; her moods had started becoming more turbulent, according to his half-brother’s bride. Not that it mattered; if Rin dared to be rude to a Demon Lord then the punishment he doled out would match that he’d use against any other insolent human. But the girl hadn’t said a petulant word; Rin had only walked quietly beside him for much of the day and watched him leave with dull eyes. 

He couldn’t think what was wrong with her. 

Such ruminations distracted him from a warm air that caressed his shoulders, then his right arm, swirling about to make the twin swords at his waist shake. He only caught her scent in its fullness as she materialized right in front of him, smirking lips only an inch from his own careful frown. 

“Hey, handsome.” 

* * *

He didn’t speak; just stared at her with those unsettlingly cold eyes. Kagura felt her heart drop (a new and decidedly unpleasant sensation). As casually as possible, she put a few more inches between them, knowing it would mean nothing if he actually wanted to hurt her.  _ Damn dog sure is fast.  _

_ But I’m the wind.  _ “Long time no see. How did the final battle with Naraku go?”

She’d said it to break the silence, knowing he wouldn’t answer. Something worked behind the daiyokai’s eyes before he finally managed words. 

“So you are alive, then.” 

Kagura grinned and spread both arms wide, gusts of air circling around her. If he was annoyed by the motion it set in the various accents to his armor, he did not show it. Allowing her element to circle around her like a gentlewoman’s scarves, she admitted, “It sure feels that way, not that I could tell you how.” 

One ear twitched; he knew her body held a beating heart. The daiyokai’s frown thinned until it became a straight line, his expression entirely unreadable. It annoyed her; how dare he be so casual after he’d watched her die due to his own inaction? 

“Although it’s no thanks to you and that stupid sword you carry around! I could have been free for much longer if you’d just stepped up and done something.” 

The step forward he took, placing them nose to nose again, sent an unsettling tremor through her new form. The urge to shift into something he couldn’t touch bled into her throat, but she found herself rooted to the spot by the intensity in his gaze. 

“Kagura.” 

Claws gripped her chin hard. Kagura’s breath left her lungs in short, nervous gasps as she realized how fast the poison would spread if he let it touch her. Why was he so mad, she was only telling the truth---

He hadn’t meant to kiss her. It was a foolish action, something he had never wanted in his life. If his traveling companions had been present then his pride would have stopped it. 

But something about the situation -- the wind witch’s familiar form solidifying from air, hair whipping the sky and a triumphant smile on her face, as well as the clear beating of a nourished heart -- had stunned him. 

She was free. Not by his own hand, nor perhaps her own. But someone had sought to liberate her from the bonds of death, as well as the bonds of nature. 

He didn’t have words to express how it felt, because the feelings themselves were a mystery. Even now, pressed up against her mouth, he knew how easy it would be to let his poison take her, or even just the bite of his claws. Easier still would be to walk away, letting the knowledge settle without allowing it to affect his future decisions.

Yet he didn’t pull away. 

* * *

She didn’t know what the fuck was happening. Every bone in her body seemed like it had a different idea of what to do -- escape into the sky and never  _ ever  _ return to the Western lands, stay perfectly still until he came to his senses, or throw both arms around him and show him what a kiss really could be. She supposed the decision would have been easier if she knew why he was kissing her in the first place. 

Finally he broke away, leaning back as though nothing had happened. Face burning, Kagura felt both hands form into fists as she realized his expression was unchanged. 

“What the fuck was that?” she snarled. 

He leveled his gaze, and she felt dizziness erupt behind both ears. 

“Are you staying?” 

“I...I…”

His actions had flustered her. That was good, because then it would distract her from his own surprise over it. It had been a long time since he’d acted on pure impulse; perhaps the relative peace of the past few years was causing his sanity to decay. 

Her answer would be important to determine his next course of action. He knew Kagura valued her freedom; she was boundless now through no action of his own, thus she had no reason to have sought him out. If she was planning to make his Western lands her home, then he wanted to know why. 

And if she wasn’t, and this visit had been her attempt at goodbye, then he wanted to know the reasons behind that as well. 

“Yes,” she finally sighed, twisting away from him. He almost wished he hadn’t kissed her, if the way her fists dug into the folds of her kimono was any clue as to how she’d felt about it. 

“You could go anywhere,” he mused, finally shifting his gaze to look up at the sky. “You are no longer bound to this territory, or to anyone who resides here.” 

“That’s right,” she snapped, bottom lip snaking out into a familiar pout. “I just thought it would be rude not to confirm your suspicions.” 

So she had noticed him noticing. How alarming. 

“I’ll say again: if you want to know how it happened, I can’t tell you,” she continued. “But here I am. I can go anywhere I please.” 

“Why here?” The words slipped out before he could mull over them fully.  _ Why me?  _

She whipped around to glare at him, incensed. “You don’t want me here?” 

“These lands were the site of your murder,” he drawled, eyes narrow. “Of the days you spent in bondage. What else could they hold for you?”

“Why the hell did you kiss me?” 

To her fury, he just turned to walk away, as if they had been discussing nothing of importance. It appeared that if she wasn’t going to answer his questions directly, he had no interest in sticking around. 

“What’s your problem?!” She snapped. A growl filled her ears, and she realized her element was circling around her form, like the barest beginnings of a tornado. It made her feel strong, powerful -- and the more potent her anger became, the louder the rumbling grew. “I’m the wind, you bastard, I can go or stay wherever I want! Now tell me what the fuck you think you’re doing touching me and then just walking away!” 

“Enough,” came the cutting snarl over his shoulder. “Your disrespect is tiring.” 

With an angry shout, she broke apart. As the air rushed around him, he felt what may have been the ghost of a slap against his cheek. It was to her benefit that she hadn’t touched him with a corporeal limb, or he would have wrenched it from its socket and strewn what was left across the field. 

Or at least that’s what he told himself as he felt the breeze wither away, leaving him alone again. 


	3. Two

A few weeks had gone by. Rin’s mood was worse; during his last visit his brother had confessed that the young girl was making a habit of lying in bed most of the day. The hanyou’s helplessness infuriated him; if she’d still been in his charge, he would have made her get up. He would have demanded Rin be grateful for the life she now had. The life he had given her, in calling on his mother and then defeating her murderer. 

But yet again, she’d pretended nothing was wrong. Only being quiet, instead of difficult.

The wind picked up as he walked through the forest that night. His sword was a bright flash in the darkness, slicing trees and shrubs into tiny pieces as though that might calm his distress. Her scent wreathed around him before she materialized on a tree branch, several yards in front of him. 

“Kagura.” The odd urge to bow tensed in the muscles of his neck. If the wind witch had noticed, she didn’t comment, only letting twin dark eyes meet his own. 

“Are you worried about Rin?” She sounded nonchalant, but he could smell the weird mixture of emotions coming from her. Apprehension, annoyance, guilt, maybe even sadness…

“Have you been following me?” 

The threat in his voice was subtle, but Kagura straightened up as soon as she heard it. Okay, it hadn’t been exactly like that -- she had taken advantage over the fact that she was almost untraceable in an elemental form to spy on a few people, but it wasn’t just him that she’d taken the initiative to see. Kohaku lived in the village now, too. 

And the easiest way to remind herself that she was free, whenever the nightmares came and the memories dug in, was to witness as many narratives that had also moved on from Naraku’s toxic influence as possible. 

“I’ve run across her a few times. It’s not hard to see that she’s different.” 

His gaze dropped from her. Clearly, he was going to be difficult as usual. She stifled a huff of frustration, wishing she had a fan to hide her expression. 

“She came back from the dead twice, didn’t she? It’s not as easy to deal with as you might think. Especially for a weak little human like her.” Kagura shifted, letting the sleeves of her kimono hide the fact she was digging her nails into each palm. “There’s this weird sense of emptiness. You already know what there is waiting for you at the end of life. You can’t focus on anything else except that it’s impossible to change what’s coming. Humans think it’s scary to not know what there is afterwards, but most would never be able to deal with the truth.” 

Look what had happened to the crazy bitch Kikyo, she thought but didn’t add.

Maybe she’d expected a thank you; some kind of appreciation for bringing him understanding of what his charge was going through. Instead, she was greeted with nothing but his back as he abruptly turned and walked back into the darkness. 

* * *

“Kagura.”

She purposely waited a long moment, just to show that she wasn’t about to become the kind of demon that came when called. Somehow she timed it perfectly to materialize at just the moment he was determined to act like he’d lost interest. The night sky blinked above them, starlight shining on drops of dew in the grassy glade. If she hadn’t been crawling all over the damn place looking for anything to do for the past few weeks, Kagura might have found it picturesque. 

He must have been to battle, lately; the fur he always had draped over his robes was singed, blood darker than the sky dribbling down from a wound in his side. His yokai blood would have it healed by morning.

“What?” Kagura arranged her features in a perfect imitation of nonchalance. 

He moved quickly to stand beside her. Close enough to send the alarms ringing in her head and the air on the knoll whistling in her ears -- she tried to swallow as delicately as possible, knowing the bastard could hear the pickup of her heartbeat. 

“How is it,” he murmured, claws flexing by the swords at his side, “that you are alive while Naraku is not?”

Had she not been clear earlier when she’d told him she didn’t fucking know?

“You’re bleeding,” she said, making it sound like some sort of insult. His eyes were watching her too carefully. Like she's prey in a trap. 

For a moment he waited, perhaps still expecting her to answer his question. Then, to her shock, new words fell into the air between them. 

“The eastern border has been breached recently.” 

“By what demons?” Where were they from? How strong could they be to have wounded even the Western Lord? 

Why was he warning her?

“The aura was strongest on the border nearest to your forest.” The claws of his left hand flexed. _Was. _Clearly he had been busy. “It may return.” 

She huffed, crossing both arms over her chest. “Did you tell Inuyasha? If any of the townspeople end up dead, he’s going to flip out.” 

“The safety of that half-breed and his kin are not of my concern.” His eyes darted everywhere but the base of her throat, where Kagura’s unspoken response still burned. 

_ But my safety is?  _


	4. Three

She’d been attacked while working in the forest.

Easily bored, Kagura had made good use of her powers for her own entertainment -- tossing fallen trees straight across clearings, sweeping dead leaves and grass out of little creeks so the water could run freely, churning new earth wherever she could find it untouched. Somehow, the last tree she’d sought to throw around had ricocheted back, as though swept by some powerful force. She’d been unprepared, knocked clean out of the vortex that she allowed to carry her through the sky. The dirt had been her crash landing, and as soon as she’d made contact, a blizzard of sharp branches and rocks rained upon her. 

It was a miracle she hadn’t been rendered blind. 

The fact that she had no idea what had attacked her, although instinct said some kind of forest spirit, was infuriating. She’d been wandering the world untouchably for years, and only now when she had a fragile body to move about in did something like this happen. 

What shit luck.

* * *

The first thing she thought of when she came to, lying on a tatami mat in an unfamiliar hall draped in bloody bandages, was _ well, now Rin and I are tied for number of times we’ve been to hell.  _ Perhaps it was a bit dramatic, but her new body didn’t seem to heal her as quickly as the one under Naraku’s influence had, and she was in too much pain to think reasonably. 

“Don’t move around so much,” a firm but quiet voice admonished. She blinked in barely concealed shock as Kagome swept through a nearby door, priestess robes flowing behind her. Both of the human’s sleeves were rolled up, not that it had done anything to save the pristine white from stains of grime and blood. Various scents hit her nose, and Kagura realized that she wasn’t the only creature that was being tended to within these walls. 

“Hn,” she muttered, stilling her aching limbs. Kagome crouched down beside her, ignoring the way her aura made the wind witch tense. In the years since they’d last seen one another, the priestess had clearly gotten much stronger in terms of her spiritual power; just being near her was giving Kagura a headache. 

“Sango and Kohaku found you on the edge of the forest.” Kagome’s eyes examined each bandage that stretched across Kagura’s skin, as if she could see straight through to the wounds beneath. “Needless to say, they were quite surprised to see you again.” 

So Sesshomaru hadn’t told his brother about her. Interesting. 

Sighing, Kagome delved into her sleeve and produced a small vial, which she uncorked. She then unknotted the bandages covering the worst wounds on Kagura’s right arm, which had braced her fall. A growl slipped between the demoness’ teeth as the poultice stung her skin; after a moment, the pain ceased into a strange but soothing chill. 

“Once your yokai energy has healed the worst of the wounds, you can feel free to leave.” The human woman leaned slightly closer, stunning Kagura with a smile that carried too much warmth for someone she had been tasked to kill so many times. “Let me know if you need anything.” 

Straightening, she slipped the vial back into her clothes and disappeared back into the door from which she’d come. Kagura shifted her arm experimentally; whatever the priestess had used seemed to jump-start the natural healing processes of her body. It wasn’t something that Kagura had ever known existed, meaning that perhaps Kagome had invented the potion herself -- though she would have been hard pressed to admit it, she was impressed.

The door stuttered open again, and she started, not knowing whether to abandon her pride to offer the woman a thank you. But another human face met her eyes -- much younger than Kagome, but still familiar. A face she spied on in the village every now and again, one she still felt unsure about. 

“Rin.”

It wasn’t a greeting, yet the human girl responded with a dip of her head. Her eyes were dull, almost like Kanna’s, and Kagura felt a stab in her chest at the familiarity of the look. 

“So you are back,” the girl finally said, moving to fully stand in the room. “Lady Sango said you were, but I thought she had just gotten confused.” 

What kind of response did she expect from that? 

A thumbnail crept towards Rin’s mouth, as if in habit, before she pulled her hand away. “Lord Sesshomaru didn’t say anything.” 

Kagura wondered whether the girl’s correct assumption that the Western Lord was aware of her re-existence was due to blind belief in his power ( _ “but of course Lord Sesshomaru knows everything!”) _ , or some other kind of knowledge she herself had yet to discover. 

“Does this mean--is Naraku--did he do this?” Terror crossed Rin’s face for a brief moment. Kagura shook her head, wondering crossly why everyone assumed that she could only be alive if that bastard had commanded it. 

“It’s nothing to do with him. I’m free now.” Not that she felt it, being wrapped up like a leper and left to blubber in the corner of someone--Inuyasha’s?--house. 

The sigh of relief that Rin gave seemed to deflate her entirely, dragging her to rest on her knees against the floor. “Oh. That’s good.” 

That she was free, or that Naraku was still dead? Perhaps, she mused, as long as the latter was true, the former didn’t really matter. 

“Lady Sango lets me babysit,” Rin said suddenly. Kagura blinked slowly, unsure where such a random and uninteresting confession had come from. Her bewilderment didn’t seem to translate to the human, who babbled on, “Mushin is okay because he’s really little, but the twins are a lot. They don’t listen to pretty much anyone, which is bad because next year they’re going to start taijiya training and then they’ll have to--”

All of a sudden she stopped, hands pressed against the wooden floor, face stricken. A quiet rain started to patter against the walls of the structure. Though to anyone else the sound might have been comforting, Rin only seemed to shrink into herself. Kagura raised an eyebrow, about to ask what the hell was wrong with her, but her chance was lost as Rin stood. 

“I hope you are well soon,” she mumbled, as though a frowning parent was standing above gauging her manners. And with that, Kagura was left alone in the hall.

“Well,” she sighed to herself, resting back onto the mat, “Sesshomaru is right to be worried about that one.” 

* * *

Before leaving the village she decided that she wanted to catch a glimpse of the rest of Inuyasha’s group. Kohaku and Rin had crossed paths with her before, unwittingly on their end; but despite her apparent rescue, she had not seen the rest of them. They, who had evaded Naraku’s clutches even in the bleakest moments, who had survived when so many had perished -- had they changed in the same way as Rin? Curiosity burned low in her belly, and now that she had no master, why shouldn’t she indulge it? 

Kagura wasn’t foolish; she morphed into a free breeze for her little spying task. It occurred to her that if she’d had such an ability while still in Naraku’s control, that any plans the group had made might have very easily been hindered. For the sake of avoiding a headache, she ignored the question of what information she would have chosen to pass on had it been the case. Due to her injuries, it took a few moments longer to shift than usual, something that she made disturbing note of. 

Once finally in her elemental form, gusting through the town was simple; digesting the information it gave her was not. 

Inuyasha was the first one visible to her. At first it didn’t seem like much was different about him: Tessaiga was strapped to his waist, he still wore his red haori, and his expression contorted in a scowl of annoyance. However, the subjugation beads around his neck were gone. In their place was a thick red cord, from which hung several small pouches or bundles of herbs. Kagura felt a twinge of amusement as she realized it was probably healing herbs that he may very well have been holding for his wife. 

In the five years that had passed he seemed to have gained a bit more patience, luckily enough for the wailing man attached to his arm. Something bubbled through the human’s lips about a house and damage; Kagura deemed it boring and continued on. 

The monk was next, grunting as he moved buckets of water to one side of a hastily constructed well; just by virtue of still being around, she could tell his Wind Tunnel had vanished. A bandage was wrapped around his head, perhaps to shield damage from the same demons that had attacked her; she had no way to confirm. 

Kagura’s breeze glanced across the surface of the well as he settled for a rest. His back straightened, less likely as a reaction to her aura than to the two young girls running his way. 

“Daddy, daddy!” 

Miroku bent down, arms spread wide, and pulled both of them into a hug. Kagura roughly gauged their age at four or five. My, he had gotten the taijiya pregnant  _ that _ quickly? After a moment the group was joined by a clearly-hungover mustached man, fussing over a squirming baby boy that she supposed was Miroku’s youngest. Kagura lingered, expecting the children’s mother to arrive. After a few moments she left the sickeningly sweet scene disappointed.

Perhaps Sango and Kohaku had left the village to try and track the offending demons down. It would be a pointless endeavour if they had. Anyone who came within a mile of causing Rin any kind of distress was sure to feel the wrath of the Western Lord. 

Whistling over the walls of the village’s defense, Kagura didn’t allow herself a moment to question whether he was aware she’d been injured. 

She almost swept right past Kagome; the wind witch took note of how the girl paused to rub her arms at the sudden chill, her eyes narrowing into a frown. 

_ She might be clever enough to figure it out. _

Luckily, the shout of someone greeting her quickly stole Kagome’s attention; a cheerful smile bloomed across her face, and Kagura was again struck by mystery of her attitude. If she’d been offered a chance to live forever in a reality without creatures like Naraku in it, she would have taken it in a heartbeat. And she wasn’t near as soft or gentle as Kagome. 

Inuyasha must have done a number on her heart for the human to be so reckless as to settle in the Feudal Era forever.

The fox kitsune that had followed her around constantly in the past now arrived and attached himself to Kagome’s side; Kagura’s wind form was about to whisk away until his fast-paced chatter caught her attention. 

“Kagome,” he babbled, clutching at her sleeve, “is it true that there weren’t any demons attacking the village after all? Miroku said the aura seemed weird.” 

Had Sesshomaru lied to her? Then again, now that she thought back, he hadn’t ever directly said demons were to blame. Still, the bastard could have at least told her what it  _ was _ .

“Shippo,” Kagome said calmly, patting his head, “Just like not all demons are bad, not all bad things have to be demons. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t anything we can do, though. I’m sure Inuyasha is working hard to figure out the best way to deal with it.”

“As if Inuyasha will know what to do.” Shippo rolled his eyes. Kagura wished she was able to laugh in her current state. “He’d probably just shout, ‘Wind Scar!’ and swing his dumb sword at it.” 

She didn’t stay to hear Kagome’s response; instead, Kagura changed direction to the edge of the village in a determination to make her exit. The best way to avoid dying a second time, she reasoned, was to know as much as she could but act as little as she had to. 

* * *

She had actually gone so far as to leave the village, materializing on the other side of the border, before running into Kohaku. 

If Kagura had had a choice, she wouldn't have bothered to stop until reaching her safe-house; but the still-healing wounds on her body forced her to break just outside the village wall. One hand reached out to brace itself on the wood before yanking back in case of a barrier; she wondered how Inuyasha could stand living with such suspicious and fragile creatures. Exhaustion and pain laced through her spine. After a few deep breaths, she looked up just in time to see the taijiya boy climb over the hill. 

He looked exhausted, though at least in his right mind, which was a change from how Kagura was used to seeing him. Her presence clearly stunned him, for he dropped a garishly large weapon into the grass (she almost missed seeing him with the kusarigama, this new one was an eyesore).  Before today she had only spied on him from the cover of trees or in her wind form; how would you tell the person technically responsible for your death that you were alive again?  It wasn’t as though they were friends, although she had been more curious about his fate than most. Now his eyes grew wide and startled. 

"Kagura?" 

She wasn’t interested in a reunion. With as much effort as she could muster, she broke back apart into the wind, sailing away unhindered. 


	5. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Full transparency ahead: 
> 
> So I'm actually really nervous to post this chapter because it is where the plot picks up and I'm still not 100% confident I can carry off what it is I'm trying to do. But I'm going to be brave and do it anyway, since several people seem to really enjoy the story so far.

She was sleeping when he arrived. Just  _ walking _ into the abandoned hut where she’d made her home, as if he owned the damn place. Part of her was concerned that her home base was so easy to find, and the rest was pissed that he’d chosen the middle of the night to show up and just fucking stare. 

“For a lord you don’t know shit about manners,” she snapped, twisting the tie on the sleeping robe she’d stolen from the village to make sure it was closed. “It’s  _ so _ creepy when you do that.” 

Sesshomaru’s gaze rested pointedly on the bare walls of the hut, and she bristled. Sure, it wasn’t much other than a firepit, tatami mat and blanket for a bed, and some smooth stones she’d collected by the stream; but he could have at least knocked before judging everything. 

“If you’d let me know you were coming, I might have had the maids do some dusting.” 

He rolled his eyes like she was the same level of annoying as the toad that tripped around behind him; Kagura entertained the thought of sending him flying out the door with a strong gale before reminding herself that such things are how people end up dead. 

And if her life up to this point was any clue, there was no way she’d be lucky enough to resurrect a second time. 

“I see you didn’t heed my warning.” His voice was cold, sending her into involuntarily shivers. Shit, he could probably smell the still healing wounds on her. Surely he didn’t think she’d picked any more fights with protective forest spirits...or maybe it was the town’s scent lingering on her body that was upsetting him; his relationship with Rin aside, perhaps he thought her weak for receiving assistance from humans. If so, it wasn’t fair to blame her for something that she hadn’t had any say in. 

“You didn’t tell me what I should watch out for,” she finally retorted. Being beneath his stare unnerved her; she kicked the blanket away and stood to her full height, adding, “Am I to assume that you’ve taken care of the threat, or are those claws and swords simply decorative?” 

Anger burned up his throat; no matter what time of day, Kagura remained impudent. She was lucky not to be at the receiving end of his claws, with all the times she’d snapped at him. 

At his menacing step forward, Kagura’s body engulfed in ripples of air. Her own warning. When she spoke again, instead of more arrogance, her voice betrayed an unexpected weariness. “Did you have a purpose in coming so late?” 

His jaw worked; she was almost surprised that he let her witness such a normal action as discomfort. “That which harmed you has been dealt with. You have no need for any further concern.” 

Had she been concerned? Kagura didn’t know how to explain that she took sleep whenever possible because the fear would wake her no matter what kind of day she’d had. That even after being blindsided in the depths of the forest, she couldn’t remotely compare the panic from that incident to the residual horrors she still felt towards her previous life. 

After having spent years with Naraku picking through her brain and body, a battering with a tree felt like nothing. 

Still, he wanted her to know that she was safe in one regard. It wasn’t something she imagined he thought about for most of those he came across. Kagura allowed the wind to settle and her voice to soften slightly as she replied, “Thank you.” 

The daiyokai nodded abruptly. “You should rest.” 

“I was.” She gestured to the bedroll beneath her, confused. What was the deal with him? Awkwardness wasn’t usually his style. 

“Then I will leave you.” His movements seemed lethargic, almost. She wouldn’t flatter herself with the thought that maybe he was waiting for her to ask him not to go. As if sleeping over in an abandoned hut all night with an injured wind witch was something that would interest him. No, he probably had just been traipsing all over the forest in the dead of night, thinking about battle, when he’d smelled her blood and wanted to check that she was still alive. 

Which would still mean he cared. But wasn’t  _ that  _ a dangerous line of thinking. 

* * *

The sun beamed through the slats in the wooden roof much sooner than she was hoping. Heavy sighs leaked from her lips as Kagura dressed, rearranged her sleeping quarters into something resembling neatness, and headed out the door to scrounge up breakfast.

Whoever had previously lived in the hut she now claimed as her own had been fairly intelligent enough to plant their own produce; blackberry bushes, now wildly overgrown and weedy at the roots, framed the eastern edge of the yard. To the west was a tired old tree that she hoped would bloom fruit if she stayed long enough; beneath it lay the ruins of what may have been an herb garden. Some days she wandered the forest searching for roots and leaves that she could plant in the thatch of earth, enjoying the thought of it someday flourishing again. After clearing the bush of its prizes, she wiped the juice off on the edge of her robe and headed for the stream she knew lay beyond a few meters of forest. 

She was not proud of her surprised shriek as she turned the corner to run straight into Sesshomaru’s chest. 

“What the hell!” Her heart was beating so fast she was surprised the bones in her chest hadn’t been worn away from it. Had something she said last night offended him, and now he was here to kill her for it? Or was it possible that he had simply stood there all night, merely ten yards from where she’d been tossing and turning? 

“Come.” Face impassive as stone, he turned and strode in the direction of his half-brother’s village, as if their meeting was planned. Kagura swallowed the insults that swarmed like bees in her throat; curiosity won out over self-preservation. 

She followed. 

* * *

She should have known that Jaken would be joining them; honestly it was a miracle she hadn’t run into him in all this time. His alarmed shriek at seeing her following his master was both annoying and entertaining. 

“Why, it’s Kagura the Wind Witch! I thought the Tensaiga wouldn’t work to revive her! Is she coming with us? My lord, did you --- agh!” 

_ Jaken looks better with his face down in the dirt. _ She glanced out of the corner of her eye at the Western Lord, remembering how surprised Rin had been to see her alive as well. He hadn’t told anyone about their meetings, or presumably about the years she’d followed him around in the form of the wind. Was it because it didn’t matter to him?

But then, she reminded herself, he hadn’t explained what she was supposed to be doing walking with him today either. So most likely poor communication was just how he handled things. 

Jaken watched her with suspicion as they traveled, not that she could blame him. Everyone seemed to assume that her resurrection had something to do with Naraku; not to mention the times she’d kidnapped Rin or otherwise tried to derail his master’s plans. 

Calmly she turned to Sesshomaru. “Have you informed Jaken that Naraku is still dead?” 

He nodded once. 

“Please also inform him that you weren’t the one to revive me.” 

“Arrogant witch, I’m standing right here! And don’t address Lord Sesshomaru as though with instructions, he is above such stations!” 

“Jaken,” the Western Lord said through gritted teeth. “It is too early for the sound of your voice.” 

“Apologies, Lord Sesshomaru!” 

Kagura almost hoped that the toad would put his own face in the dirt as penance. Unfortunately, he simply bowed low, ending up a few steps too far behind and having to rush to catch up. 

* * *

Miroku greeted them at the border of the village territory. Kagura was surprised that Inuyasha himself didn’t escort them in, knowing Sesshomaru’s distaste for dealing with even half-humans. Perhaps the daiyokai and Jaken came to the village to visit Rin often enough that neither party viewed the other as a threat or annoyance worth any violence. 

If the monk held any lingering surprise about her resurrection, he hid it well. He led them to a bright and sunny room at the rear of the same house she’d been in previously. Kagura raised her eyebrows in mirth as Jaken was shut outside in the hall, his incensed wails seemingly ignored by his master. 

Sango was already waiting for them in front of a short table festooned with hot cups of tea. It was strange to see the taijiya with a baby strapped to her back instead of the Hiraikotsu. The sharpness in her eyes, however, clearly communicated that motherhood hadn’t turned her soft. Her chin set as soon as Kagura and Sesshomaru were seated, and deftly she untied the straps holding her son against her body. 

“Miroku,” she said calmly. “Take him.”

As her husband reached out for their youngest, the two shared an extended look of affection. Kagura rolled her eyes but managed to keep from commenting, instead choosing one of the cups to bring to her lips. Sesshomaru glared at her out of the corner of his eye -- so what, it had been ages since she’d been treated like an honored guest instead of a dangerous enemy or disdainful slave. 

The door slammed open suddenly. Inuyasha strolled in with Kagome close behind. The priestess bowed to Sesshomaru, ignoring her husband’s annoyed grimace.

“It’s nice to see you again, Big Brother!” 

Hot liquid soaked into her lap as Kagura cough-laughed right into her tea. She was certain the look on Sesshomaru’s face was positively murderous, if the speed in which the monk left the room with his very fragile son was any suggestion.

“Kagome,” Inuyasha groaned, ears flattening against his head. 

“Oh, hush.” She offered Kagura a kind smile, and the wind witch had the strangest sense of being involved in some kind of family reunion. 

Not that she considered herself connected to Sesshomaru in any such capacity. 

The door panel opened again, giving them a glimpse of the now-red-faced Jaken stomping about, as Kohaku entered. Sango’s face softened just slightly, while Inuyasha’s grew more tense. 

_ So many complicated relationships within one room… _

“Kohaku saw you leaving the village recently,” Sesshomaru spoke, his lack of interest painfully obvious. “He assumed that I knew of your whereabouts and requested that you attend the next time I had business here.” 

‘Business’ meant seeing Rin, she assumed, as he had no reason for a jovial visit with his half-sibling. Although it was odd, then, that he was here in the now-quite-crowded room with her and Inuyasha’s little group, instead of off babysitting the girl. 

Perhaps, despite his demeanor, he too was curious as to Kohaku’s motives. 

Kagura turned her gaze to the taijiya boy. She’d heard that he’d been one of the humans to find her after being attacked in the forest, and had spied on him a few times; yet she’d managed to avoid being face to face with him up until now. 

“Please forgive me!” Kohaku bowed to her with his hands folded. The line of his shoulders as he bent before her was strong, and the voice that came from his lips was more confident than she recalled. “It’s my fault that you died. You were protecting me from Hakudoshi and the others, and Naraku would not have killed you otherwise. I’m grateful to you for sacrificing yourself for me.”

If he made it through the whole speech without crying, she would know he really had changed. “Lord Sesshomaru says that you have an uncontrolled heart now. Whatever you make of your new life, I hope that you will accept this gift.” 

The taijiya boy removed something from his belt: a fan made of demon bone and blue silk. Gently he lay it on the table in front of her. Kagura let her fingers brush over the folded fabric, wondering where he had gotten something like that. It wasn’t like the women he surrounded himself with had any use for such things. 

“Well,” she said somewhat awkwardly, “protecting you resulted in Naraku’s defeat, so it wasn’t some sort of selfless sacrifice. Since you’ve repaid a similar debt to me recently, you have no reason to feel guilty. Although I won’t turn down a trinket this pretty.” 

As she inspected her new weapon, Kagura could feel the demonic energy wafting off of the Western Lord beside her. What did he have to be annoyed about, when he was the one to drag her here? 

“Rin! Don’t you dare interrupt--” 

Jaken’s voice was cut off as the door slid open, revealing the young girl’s tear-stained face to the room. Kohaku made a soft noise of surprise, but before he or anyone else could do anything, Rin locked eyes with Lord Sesshomaru and screamed. 


	6. Interlude One

_ At twelve (almost thirteen, but she couldn't remember the date when it would change), Rin knew that things were more complex than “don’t talk to strangers”. Some seemed nice at first, but could be pretending, like Suikotsu. Some seemed cruel at first, like Sesshomaru, but would protect and care for her. Some had motives that seemed to change with the weather, like Kagura. A person could be a friend, a foe, indifferent to her existence, or a mix of all three, and there was really no way for Rin to know whose intentions were what. _

_ Lady Kaede still imparted on her to be cautious and not talk to anyone she didn’t know. Even though Lord Sesshomaru didn’t take her traveling anymore, so Rin didn’t have the chance to make new friends outside of the village. Life was very stable now; her days were full of babysitting, helping Lady Kaede with her work, and watching Shippo develop his fox magic. No one in the town was cruel or violent to her, and she knew they’d protect her if any of her nightmares came true. _

_But despite everything, Rin still felt very small, scared, and lonely all the time. Even though she knew it was long past the amount of time she should have moved on from such feelings. Days and weeks and months and years later, she still felt **something** crushing the happiness in her chest. _

_ And so when she came across the woman lying against the tree in the forest, sadness emanating from her like smoke from a fire, Rin felt drawn to say hello. _

* * *

_ She knew it wasn’t a demon, or someone else from the village would have discovered her by now. But she definitely wasn't human either -- the woman's face shifted constantly, like a reflection on water. Veins striped her neck and arms like lightning. She was cloaked in a strange outfit (Rin no longer catalogued things as 'the ____est I've ever seen' after what she'd experienced in the past four or so years) that, no matter how long Rin looked at her, never seemed to hold onto a consistent shape. _

_ Rin watched for a few days, and she never moved from the spot by the tree. Perhaps she was a forest spirit or a nymph, like in Lady Kaede’s bedtime stories. _

_ The holes in Rin’s heart that she didn’t know how to explain felt echoed by the woman’s melancholy -- the tightness of being squeezed, even though no one was touching her; visions of dogs snapping at her ankles and wrists, that she would see out of the corner of her eye and had become more constant over the past year; her hopelessness whenever Lord Sesshomaru came only to leave again, and she didn’t want to displease him by asking him to stay. _

_ Rin wanted to know this woman's pain, and have her own pain be known. _

_ The people in Inuyasha’s village were kind, so no one said anything when Rin would take food out beyond the barrier. The woman in the forest had stared at her, then taken the offering and wept. Wherever her tears fell tiny rivers would spring up, to Rin’s surprise. Even her Lord Sesshomaru couldn’t do anything like that, and he’d been to hell and back. _

_ She’d wanted to show him right away, to see if by seeing then he would understand the things about Rin she couldn’t explain. But the woman begged not to leave her spot by the tree. Long dark hair falling in her face, she’d whispered about being a disappointment, of being discarded, of being unable to defend herself and how shameful it was. _

_ Rin had agreed, then, not to tell. _


	7. Five

_Rin screamed. _

Kagura cringed at the pitch of the sudden noise, dropping the fan. Sango was at the door in an instant, but Rin wouldn’t allow herself to be soothed. She pushed the taijiya away. 

“What is wrong with you, Rin!” Jaken shrieked, coming up behind the twelve-year-old to shake her by the shoulders. She doubled over, sending him tumbling over her back and landing with a groan flat on the floor. 

“How could you?” Rin shrieked, cheeks wet with hysterical tears. “How could you, how could you--”

Although Kagura was used to Sesshomaru’s impassivity in the midst of conflict, she had to admit this time it made him look rather guilty of something. Kohaku, still frozen in his bow, gaped at the girl as she bawled. After a moment he shook himself out of surprise and went to the door. “Rin, is it storming again? Are you afraid?”

Clutching her stomach with both hands, Rin cried. Sango beckoned Kagome to come over, mouthing something about stress. 

_ If she thinks this is stress-related, then it’s probably a good thing she isn’t the village healer... _

“What the fuck did you do to her?” Inuyasha snarled, leaping up from his seat to glare at his brother. The disdainful look he received was a much milder retort than Kagura would have ever expected the Western Lord to express towards the hanyou. 

“Please tell us what’s wrong.” Kohaku patted her back awkwardly. Glancing back at Sesshomaru, Sango whispered something to her brother; he nodded and slipped out of the room. With great difficulty, Kagome and Sango together managed to push Rin out as well, seeming none too sorry for accidentally kicking Jaken aside in the process. 

“Well?” Claws folding into a fist, Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. “Don’tcha have anything to say, Sesshomaru?” 

The daiyokai’s ear twitched, perhaps to address the swords at his side, who Kagura could tell had plenty to say to their wielder although she couldn’t understand them. Finally he drawled, “Clearly there is something wrong with Rin. Which is only to be expected, with my having left her in your inadequate care for so long.” 

“How dare you! Come say that to my--”

Jaken sat up woozily from the floor, nursing his jaw. “Lord Sesshomaru, could this have anything to do with those things that we fought on the border?” 

If looks could kill, Kagura mused as she picked up her fan from the ground, the little imp would be long in the grave. 

* * *

They’d been strange creatures. But then, in the many, many years he’d been alive, Sesshomaru had seen and vanquished many strange creatures. 

It had been Jaken who’d first spotted them. He had complained of a glare, the kind that came from the sun touching water. Although in this case, it had come from the skin of a creature stalking through the brush, spitting flames from his lips. Though it’s expression was humanoid, the panic and fury in its eyes spoke to a lack of intelligence. It didn't seem to have much to defend itself with; no claws or horns, or even wings.  Its collection of eyes, nose, and lips seemed to shift and change constantly, so that Sesshomaru could never fully grasp what kind of face it had.

Unsteady on its two feet, almost like a very young demon treading grass for the first time. 

Pathetic. 

Jaken had stepped in front of the creature, confronting it with its place on Sesshomaru’s land. Instead of begging for mercy, it had dared to lock eyes with the Demon Lord and groaned, molten fire leaking down it’s chin. 

Something in his chest twisted, just the slightest bit. It was a part of his more recent experiences that he never,  _ ever  _ thought about, and the suddenness of it gave the creature an opening. 

With surprising speed, it moved in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder. It  _ burned _ , and that infuriated him more than anything else. He drew Bakusaiga from his side and cut down, just as the creature moaned, “Hel--”

The creature fell into a pool of blood in the grass. Jaken yelped, eyes huge, as the dark red faded blue, then black. Wisps of blackened flesh, as though the thing had been lit in a pyre, wafted into the air. Sesshomaru could smell a singe in the air. 

Suddenly more sheens of light appeared in the distance. Perhaps they had made camp there, by the trees. 

Bakusaiga sung at his side, pleased to taste new blood. Sesshomaru indulged her. 

* * *

“Lord Sesshomaru made quick work of the others, although they were much stronger and faster than that one had been! Their every touch stung like we’d touched a fire-stick. They even managed to wound milord, the one that--”

Jaken’s conclusion to the story was cut off quickly as his master growled; immediately he fell into blubbered apologies and bows. 

Daring a glance at the wind witch next to him, Sesshomaru saw that Kagura had unfolded Kohaku’s gift sometime during his story. Now it was held delicately in her hand, covering the lower half of her expression. What a pointless way to treat a weapon. If she’d bothered to mention such a thing was something she wanted, he could have procured a better one for her. 

Not that he had any reason to care about Kagura’s desires.

“Would you shut up with the apologies already, you’re wasting time!” Inuyasha yelled, waving a fist at Jaken. He froze as the door opened to allow Kagome to come back into the room. "How is she?" 

“We sent Kohaku to get ingredients for a sleeping draught. Rin's in her room now, though she still seems really upset. Sango's with her now.”  The priestess seemed a bit paler than usual after all the ruckus, and she’d found time to tie her hair up. It made her look more like the woman she actually was, instead of the girl who had first climbed into her family's well. 

“Kagome, you should be taking it easier." Inuyasha frowned and gripped his wife's arm. "You’re not in any condition for all this running around.”

Jaken appeared to stop breathing. Behind her fan, Kagura raised both eyebrows.  _ Oh. So it’s like that.  _

Kagome’s eyes darted to the others in the room. Shoving his hand away, she snapped, “Inuyasha, you idiot! We promised we weren’t going to tell anyone yet!” 

“Well, excuse me for wanting you to be more careful!” The hanyou huffed, crossing both arms against his chest. “Anyone with more _ refined _ senses would be able to tell, anyway.” 

“That doesn’t mean you have to confirm it!”

"Feh." Turning to the others in the room Inuyasha growled, “Don’t even think about saying nothin’ to no one.”

Jaken broke his stupor with a howl. “What--how dare you! To think that the Great Lord Sesshomaru would even care to acknowledge that a distant thread in the tapestry of his father’s legacy has been so diluted by filthy human blood--”

“Congratulations,” Kagura offered, her intention purely to annoy the man next to her and his servant. Kagome colored and looked at the floor.

Jaken turned purple. "Witch!" He shook the rod in his arm at her. As if that was supposed to be frightening. 

“Shut it, ya stupid frog." Inuyasha glared at his brother. "Anyway, what’s important right now is figurin' out what the hell your little playfight had to do with what’s going on with Rin.” 

Jaken lowered his staff, expression shifting suddenly to one of thoughtfulness. “Perhaps it was the--” 

“Perhaps it doesn’t have anything to do with it,” Kagura interrupted, closing the fan with a snap. “Sesshomaru disposed of those fire-creatures weeks ago. He’s seen Rin several times since then, correct?” 

He nodded once. Did she consider him weak for that? In all honesty, he himself had assumed that his visits with Rin would have lessened or even stopped altogether by this point. But the lack of faith in his brother and the village humans to sustain her well-being prevented a clean break with the child. 

“But Rin’s been acting weird for a while,” Kagome pointed out. “When I got back, it was almost three years after Naraku’s defeat and she was much happier. It’s almost like the more time goes by, the worse she gets.”

“Which is the opposite of what should be happening,” Inuyasha added. Pointlessly, in Sesshomaru’s opinion. 

“Lord Sesshomaru, it could have easily been--” 

“Kohaku told us he thinks that she’s even afraid of storms now, because they remind her of the underworld.” The priestess shook her head. "It’s been so long, could something like that still be bothering her?”

Kagura stiffened. Sesshomaru wondered if she felt shame over experiencing a similar weakness for fearing the past. If so, she didn't need to judge herself too harshly; she had only recently procured another body to be concerned over. Rin’s fears carried no merit after almost five years of safety. For the sake of his pride, however, he said nothing. 

“Perhaps there’s something else that she’s scared of.” Shrugging, Kagura reached for her now-cool cup of tea on the table. “Like whatever attacked me in the forest.” 

“But Lord Sesshomaru and I have dealt with it!” Jaken squawked. “That’s what I was saying earlier, how we had to find the last creature after it escaped!” 

All eyes on the daiyokai, again. 

Sesshomaru sighed; he had hoped for this visit to go quickly. 


	8. Six

_ After a few days of bringing her food, Rin asked the woman about the jar.  _

_ She’d only noticed it after getting close, for the woman kept it hidden within the folds of her odd dress. It was pretty, green like glass but she couldn’t see through it. Waves had been carved into the surface of the jar, and the lid was molded to look like the center of the sun, with large rays pouring out and down the sides of the vessel.  _

_ “This is very special to me,” the woman said. “There are only three that exist in the world, to hold things that no human can carry.” She brushed Rin’s hair out of her eyes so she could see the details of the vessel better.  _

_ “Who gave it to you?”  _

_ “It was given to me when I was birthed.” The woman frowned as if with her entire body. “By my father who betrayed me.”  _

_ Rin settled her back against the tree, eyes searching the dark leaves and branches. She barely remembered her father, but before his death he had loved her. She didn’t know what to think of a father who would betray a newborn child. “Then why do you keep it?”  _

_ “I’m afraid if I ever let it go then I would be truly defenseless in the world.” The woman tapped the lid with one nail. “So to protect myself, I must carry it.”  _

_ “What does it do?”  _

_ Shaking her head, the woman said, “Nothing that could harm a human like you.”  _

_ Rin was old enough not to believe that.  _

* * *

“So a creature got away from you?” Kagura prompted. 

“Ah, yes! The fifth ingrate escaped, after we slew its brethren. Lord Sesshomaru, bravely ignoring his wounds, ordered me to follow it. He then disappeared from my sight. With my trusty staff in claw, I tracked it for half a day until it reached the forest near the village. Never would I have questioned why my Lord waited so long to catch--” 

Jaken’s version of the story abruptly ended as a teacup hit the back of his skull with a crack. He fell head over heels nearly into Inuyasha’s lap, causing the hanyou to jump away with a grimace. 

As though he hadn’t just brained his minion, Sesshomaru drawled, “After finding Jaken I slew the creature in the northern woods.” 

Kagome and Inuyasha leaned forward, waiting for the rest of the story to come out. But it appeared the daiyokai was quite finished. 

“That doesn’t really tell us very much,” the priestess finally managed to say. “Since those woods are within a few hours walk, could Sango and Miroku go out to look at the body? Maybe that will give us a clue as to what these things are, or what they’re doing here.” 

“Or if it’s got something to do with Rin bein’ all weird,” Inuyasha added. 

With a sigh of deep annoyance, Sesshomaru replied, “Very well. Jaken, we’re going.” 

“Hey! We’re not done yet!” Slamming one hand onto Jaken’s back to prevent the toad from getting up off the floor, Inuyasha snapped, “You never explained how Kagura’s running around again, after we all saw her die!” 

“Inuyasha,” Kagome hissed, elbowing him. 

“He can’t tell you any more than I can what happened to resurrect me.” Kagura placed her fan into the fold of her sleeve. Standing, she stretched out both arms casually, letting small wisps of air circle around them like bracelets. “Don’t fret; as long as I am free to go where I want, I’ll leave your silly little village alone.”

“It could be connected to all the other things going on,” Kagome mused carefully, reaching over to lift Inuyasha’s hand from Jaken’s body. “Maybe whatever Sesshomaru killed were resurrected, like Kagura. And Rin was also brought back from the dead…”

“Oh, please don’t tell me the kid might be possessed by something bad,” the hanyou groaned. From the look on Sesshomaru’s face, it appeared he might have had the same thought.  _ Not that he’d ever admit to agreeing with Inuyasha,  _ Kagura reminded herself. 

“Please let us know what you discover,” she said in what was hopefully a diplomatic tone. This whole event had her feeling like some noblewoman in a parlour party mystery. “Since Sesshomaru and I are going the same way, I’ll depart with him.” 

“Silly witch, you arrived with us, and you’ll leave when Lord Sesshomaru demands it!” Jaken’s ire was somewhat subdued by how he swayed back and forth -- most likely dizziness from incurring multiple head injuries. 

“We’ll pass any messages along with Jaken.” Kagome waved, one hand still linked with her husband’s. Inuyasha lifted her palm to his cheek for a brief moment, muttering something (probably yet another admonishment about being careful). Kagura watched Sesshomaru’s expression twist into one of distaste at the public display of affection.  _ As far as humans go, Kagome isn’t the worst of them to have in his extended family. Although only time will tell if the same goes for the pup she’s carrying.  _

* * *

“Rin, please tell me what’s wrong.” Kohaku knelt on the floor beside Rin's bed. The girl buried her face into her arms and shook her head. “We’re all really worried about you. Especially Lord Sesshomaru.”

Fingers twisted the fabric her sleeves as he mentioned her benefactor’s name. She mumbled something, and Kohaku leaned in closer. “Rin?”

Her head lifted just enough to give him a glimpse of dark eyes beneath her bangs. “He hurt her.” 

Kohaku felt his blood run cold. “What?” 

“She smelled like his poison.” Rin shook her head sadly. “She was just scared, she didn’t mean to do anything bad.” 

“Who are you talking about, Rin?” If Sesshomaru had harmed or (Kami forbid)  _ killed _ one of the villagers, especially a child...he shuddered. Their treaty with the Western Lord was delicate; maybe a bit less so than it had been several years ago, but still far from what anyone else would consider consistent or reliable. Inuyasha would easily go to war over such a thing. 

Before Rin could say anything further, Sango entered the sleeping area with a cup of steaming liquid. “This will help you sleep. It’s great for bad dreams and things like that.” 

Shaking her head, Rin buried her face again. Kohaku sent his sister a pleading glance. With a sigh, she knelt down in front of the two. 

“I know that sometimes scary things from the past come back to haunt us. It’s normal after everything you’ve been through. But it’s important to remember that they’re just memories. Our bodies might still feel the pain like it was yesterday, but our heads know it was a long time ago.” 

“It’s not a memory.” Rin lifted her head to look at Sango with tear-filled eyes. “I saw…”

“What’s that?” Sango reached out to smooth the girl’s hair, but Rin moved away from the touch. Eyes darting back and forth as if she’d been caught in a lie, she said in a very small voice, “Never mind. I’ll drink it.” 

Kohaku and Sango shared a glance. Mouth settling into a firm line, Sango set the cup at the edge of Rin’s bedroll. “Try to feel better soon. Kohaku?” 

“Coming.” He gave Rin one last hopeful smile before following his sister out of the room. As soon as the door shut, his voice dropped to a whisper. “She was talking about someone she knew being hurt by Lord Sesshomaru. She mentioned his poison.” 

“Inuyasha said his brother just talked about tracking and killing one of the fire creatures in the woods. Could Rin have seen it?” 

Kohaku shook his head. “She said it was a woman, and that she was scared.” 

“Hm.” Sango tapped her chin, eyes darkening. “When did she say she saw it?” 

He shook his head. “I don’t know. From the way she was acting, it might have been as soon as this morning. Did Sesshomaru mention hunting anything other than the creatures that crossed the border?” 

“If he did, Inuyasha didn’t mention it.” Sango crossed both arms over her chest. “Something really strange is going on...can I trust you and Kilala to keep an eye on Rin for me?” 

Kohaku straightened. “Of course!” 

She smiled, and the brightness of it made happiness bubble up inside Kohaku’s chest. There had been a time where he’d thought he’d never see his sister happy ever again because of him; in the past few years, he’d been blessed to see her find joy in all sorts of things. 

“Inuyasha said I can investigate the woods tomorrow for clues. We’ll sort this out soon, okay?” Patting his shoulder, she glanced back towards Rin’s room. “If something bad is going on, then we’ll figure it out together.” 

* * *

Sesshomaru’s normally impassive face was creased with lines as they left the village. Jaken seemed to have gotten the hint that his lord was in bad temper, for he remained silent. Kagura was out of breath trying to match the daiyokai’s pace, which irked her; with every hurried step, she could feel the spine of the fan in her sleeve jostle against her wrist. How would he like it if she turned into a breeze and took off without him? 

_ Though if I did that I’d probably just end up with another surprise nighttime visit. And not even the fun kind.  _

“What’s got your tail in a twist?” 

He didn’t bother to look back at her. “Nothing. Are you going back to your hovel?” 

She scoffed. “Where else would I go?” 

Jaken opened his mouth to say something, but the crack of his master’s knuckles forming into a fist quickly shut it. Kagura finally paused, leaning slightly forward to catch her breath. 

“What, are you in a bad mood now because Rin screamed at the sight of you? She’s clearly not in her right mind. There’s no reason to take it out on me--” 

He whirled around, teeth bared. “We have nothing further to discuss, witch. Take your leave.” 

Kagura stood there, dumbfounded. The moment stretched between them, until finally he looked away -- in regret? Embarrassment at losing his temper? She didn’t know or care. 

“Fine. I have better things to do then watch you pout, anyway.” Not bothering to hide her disappointment, Kagura broke apart. The last thing her fully formed ears heard was Jaken’s shriek of fear.   
As she swept by him, now in her elemental form, Kagura wasn’t sure if it was wishful thinking or not that had him seem to lean into her breeze. Not that it mattered; if he was going to keep acting like he wasn’t the one seeking her out, then she would continue to act like she didn’t have any interest in being beside him. 


	9. Interlude Two

_ As much as he enjoyed spending time with everyone in town, Shippo found peace in his morning walks alone.  _

_ Sure, the past few years had been comparatively quiet, compared to the rest of his childhood. Yet the constant shrieking of young human children, arguing between Inuyasha and other villagers, and fighting between low-level demons who all sought to fill the hole left by Naraku’s absence could give anyone a headache.  _

_ So most mornings Shippo would check to make sure Lady Kaede was still sleeping, set the tea-kettle on for Kagome when she woke, and then he would head out to the fields beyond the village barrier.  _

_ Today he sniffed a storm in the air, making the hair on his tail stand up. The grass beneath his paws was dry, crunching as he walked. It almost felt like it was still the middle of summer-time, instead of nearing the beginning of the autumn harvest. Perhaps this meant the winter wouldn’t be as bad this year; he shuddered, remembering how many nights he’d had to curl up with Kagome and risk either being frozen or incurring Inuyasha’s wrath.  _

_ Yeah, maybe he’d rubbed it in the hanyou’s face a little bit that he’d been replaced as a cuddle-buddy, but so what? It wasn’t like she and Inuyasha didn’t spend enough time together already. And anyway, the first night that the snow had stopped falling, Kagome had cheerfully sent him off to Kaede’s hut. Since the summer had started, Shippo had hardly been allowed to spend a single night in the house with them at all! _

_ __ _

_ A glint of something in the tree-line quite a ways off made him stop and crouch to the ground. Squinting, he could make out the shape of a creature, digging at the spot where the edge of the forest reached the fields. Who was that? Were they burying something?  _

_ __ _

_ Before Shippo could sneak in for a closer look, the creature stood. Tall, with dark hair; he couldn’t guess as to its age from this far away. He couldn’t sense any yokai, so anyone looking to snuff out rogue demons in the area would probably miss it entirely. Even so, there was definitely something off about the aura it presented; nose twitching, Shippo wondered if the storm he had smelled earlier was simply this creature’s doing.  _

_ __ _

_ The being wiped something off its face and melted back into the brush, out of sight. Shippo waited breathlessly for a few moments before daring to crawl towards the spot it had left.  _

_ __ _

_ The dirt was turned over in a few spots, though the piles were much too small to be a grave. Shippo searched the shrubs lining the edge of the forest for a solid stick; once he had his prize, he scraped as much earth away as possible. The edge of some kind of some kind of shiny fabric stuck out of one of the holes he made; gripping it with both paws, he tugged until it came free, bringing up a bigger chunk of dirt with it.  _

_ __ _

_ “What the…” In his hands Shippo held a bolt of cloth that he could tell was far from normal. Though at first glance it seemed more black than the darkest night, when he shifted, the threads gleamed silver. Something deep inside his chest thrummed as he held it in his paws; dropping it to the ground, he felt something hard wrapped within it thud against his foot. _

_ __ _

_ “Ow, ow, ow!” Jumping up and down in pain, he kicked at the fabric in frustration. It peeled away to reveal a clay cup, the color of Inuyasha’s haori.  _

_ __ _

_ “Huh? What would someone bury this for?”  _

_ __ _

_ Retrieving the stick again, he poked it through the hole in the cup’s handle and peered inside it. Despite it’s unnaturally bright color, it appeared completely average. He couldn't even smell anything suspicious that might tell him what it had been used for.  _

_ __ _

_ “Hm. I doubt someone would throw this away if it’s perfectly good. Maybe if I have Lady Kaede bless it first, it won't go to waste!”  _

_ __ _

_After a quick internal debate, Shippo decided to take the fabric too; it would be the easiest way to transport the cup anyway, rather than balancing it on his stick the whole walk home. He did try to be quick, however, not wanting to be caught by the strange person from the woods. Although Rin walked around in there all the time; if anything weird was going on, she certainly would have told someone about it. _

_ __ _


	10. Seven

Sango brushed the sweat off her brow. “Why is it so hot today? I thought it would be cooler this deep in the woods.” 

Beside her, Miroku unhooked a canteen from the strap hooked over his shoulder and took a long swig. Offering it to her, he peered into the foliage before them. “Perhaps we’ll get one last heat wave before autumn.” 

“It’s good we had Kilala stay behind. She’d be boiling.” Water filled her stomach as she nearly drained the canteen. “From the information Jaken gave us, we should be coming upon the body soon.”

“It’s several days old. Wild animals may have destroyed any evidence left,” her husband pointed out. “They should have buried it properly.” 

She shot him an amused look. “Do you want to be the one to tell the Western Lord what he should have done?” 

Both of them were unprepared for the state of the creature’s body when they came across it. Instead of decomposing flesh, a large pile of gray ash dusted the forest floor. Chunks of melted metal -- perhaps armor? -- poked out of the grass here and there. 

“How has it not been washed away?” Sango mused. It was as if the spot where the creature had fallen had been frozen in time. Miroku knelt to inspect the ground a few yards away, where dark spots marred the ground. 

“Dog demon poison,” he confirmed. “Although I doubt this is the typical result of encountering it.”

“Perhaps he killed a nature spirit.” If fire was their element, then it certainly would explain the ash. Still, something about the whole situation escaped her, like a painting with deep slashes in the canvas keeping the full image from being known. “Lord Sesshomaru certainly didn’t waste any time before killing it.” 

“If he’d bothered to have a civilized conversation first, we’d at least know if we should expect more. Or what they may be capable of.” Pointing his staff at the head of the remains, he said, “Sango, what’s that buried there?” 

She unsheathed her sword and used the tip to drag a clay disk into the grass. Kneeling, she risked touching it with bare fingertips to brush some of the ash away. “It looks like a shallow bowl. Maybe for oil?” 

“ Let’s see if we can find anything else.”

They dug through the ash with no luck. Sweat dampened her neck under Sango’s slayer outfit; she pulled at the fabric in vain. “It looks like there isn’t much here. Maybe we should head back.” 

Sitting back on his heels, Miroku fixed her with a careful look. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been out in the field together. Are you eager to return home?” 

“I haven’t changed my mind about remaining a slayer, if that's what you're hinting at. But the life we’ve built together is wonderful, too.” Standing, she let the ash pour through her fingers to the dirt. “Kohaku is with us now. The children are growing up well. We’re happy.” 

“Very happy.” Miroku sighed. “Though this path is far from easy.” 

She frowned, remembering. For the sake of their children, the two had an unspoken promise to keep the residual effects of their pasts quiet. If the girls asked why their Daddy spent so long praying for safety over them in the morning, Sango would tut that it was something very important and spiritual that they’d learn about when they were older. If Miroku felt Sango trembling in the middle of the night, murmuring the names of her long-dead friends and family, he would simply hold her close as she cried. Both of them had long grown used to the nightmares, even as they faded from regularity.

Miroku’s eyes stayed on the fire creature’s body. “Do you remember finding out you were pregnant again?”

“Of course.” She’d cried for ages. Blubbering about how hard it had been not to have her best friend by her side to witness the twins’ births, _ how many more of my children will she never see?  _ Miroku had cried too, terrified to have yet another precious being in his life to fear losing,  _ what if the girls were just a fluke and this one has the wound in its hand?  _ The two of them waited until Sango couldn’t hide it any longer before announcing the pregnancy to their girls and the rest of the village; though Inuyasha had clearly known for much longer, he’d never said anything. 

“We were both a wreck. Even though it had been three years since Naraku’s defeat, and we’d already tested our good fortune.” His hand reached out, and she took it, feeling ash smear between their linked fingers. 

“Are you saying that you don’t think that Rin’s behavior has anything to do with these things?” With her boot, she gestured to the fire creature’s body. “You think it could be the past refusing to let go?” 

He stood, using her grip for leverage. “Would you agree if I said that was my suspicion?”

She didn’t know what to make of such a possibility. Sesshomaru had used all manner of magic and power to keep Rin alive; who would explain it to him, if the cause of her distress wasn’t something he could tangibly command or defeat? 

“I trust your judgment.” Moving closer, she pressed a kiss to his cheek and was rewarded with a silly smile; foolish man, even years after she’d accepted his proposal he still responded to any small affection with a lovesick expression. “We should bring that disk back with us and see if someone knows what it could be.” 

“Sango.” He wrapped his arms more firmly around her. “Let’s not be so hasty. It’s been ages since we had any time alone…”

“We’re tempting fate,” she reminded him in a laugh, pressing a second kiss to his other cheek. “Our son is a year and a half already.” 

Miroku batted his eyelashes innocently. “With Lord Sesshomaru breathing down our necks to solve this mystery, this may be our last chance to try for a second son.” 

“What if I don’t want another?” Her tone was playful, but her eyes grew soft and sad. “Would you be upset with me for breaking my promise to you?” 

_ You’ll bear my children? Ten, even twenty of them?  _

_ Yes! _

Leaning forward, he pressed their foreheads together. “Sango. I would never force you into anything. A few years ago I thought I wouldn’t live to raise a family; it’s only thanks to you that I know true happiness. I would never want more of that happiness to come at the cost of your own.” His voice wobbled slightly. “Healing will always come quicker when we are together.” 

Despite all the years between them, she blushed. “You always make things so dramatic.” 

“You’re the one who puts up with me.” With a smile, he pecked the tip of her nose. “Forgive me; now that I’m thinking about it, this would have been much more romantic if we weren’t standing next to someone’s final resting place.” 

“Everywhere in the world is probably  _ someone’s _ final resting place. Speaking of which, do you think we should bury that thing?” 

With a hefty sigh, Miroku nodded. “Although it will waste energy spent on much more delightful activities…” 

* * *

In the main hall of his estate, the Western Lord paced. 

Hours had passed since the sun’s stretch into the sky; he hadn’t rested, but then he had no immediate need of it. Besides, there was too much to think on. 

Rin had never shown fear of him, even when perhaps she should have. She’d watched him dispatch many fearsome creatures, knew that bloodlust was not extricable from his position as the ruler of these lands. And yet always, Rin remained his cheerful and devoted ward. To his memory, no violence nor break in trust had recently happened between them to warrant such a reaction. Shoes scraping the stones of the hall floor, he grit his teeth. 

Perhaps the hanyou was right, and she was possessed by something. 

Speaking of the hanyou, that was another thing causing his blood to boil. Although Sesshomaru’s senses had kept him informed of priestess’ condition for a while, having it plainly spoken about moved his gut into a murderous twist. His father’s yokai blood would most likely be purified by the priestess’ own energy before the welp was even born. What benefits would a fully human child bring? Sesshomaru himself had only truly mastered his father’s weapon Tensaiga, and procured Bakusaiga, through exceeding InuTaisho’s strength and power. This was not a feat that Inuyasha or his progeny would have a hope to match. 

Yet if by some miracle his gossip-loving mother were to ever hear of it, then  _ he _ would be the one mocked for not claiming a wife and heir first. As if he hadn’t had better things to do for the past century or so. 

Ah, but that was  _ another _ topic that buzzed in his mind like an errant wasp as he tread back and forth. He and Jaken had returned to the estate early that afternoon, his servant in the middle of another tantrum. Kagura was the cause. 

“Acting so casually in your presence, my lord, as though she were an equal of your station! It almost recalls Lady Kimiko’s courtship with your father, although her manners could never be compared to--” 

The comment annoyed him at the time, partially because near everything Jaken did was annoying and partially because the mention of his mother always gave him a headache. But now, most of what troubled him was that it had been so _easy_ for Kagura to follow him into the village, be seated beside him, leave at his command -- just to disappear back into the forest in the same foul mood he always seemed to put her in. 

_ She was the one chasing, all those years before manifesting a physical body _ . He reminded himself of this as his pace slowed.  _ Even before that, she came to me with the shards and demanded I slay Naraku for her benefit. Then she chose to remain in these lands.  _

_ Does she expect me to debase myself now, and court her attention?  _

Heat burned in the lines slashed across each side of his face. 

_ I have already acted foolishly in her name. _

He paused briefly in front of the large windows at the rear of the room. The sea was the thinnest blue line in the distance, sky stretching large and free above it. Though the sun was high, a golden glow leached across the expanse, contrasting sharply with the dark clouds that collected far off in the distance. 

At one time, he’d assumed that she was at fault for the strange weather that had befallen his lands. Now, Sesshomaru didn’t feel as though she deserved such credit. Resuming his walking, he found a rare twinge of curiosity settle in his throat. 

_ Now that she has her freedom, what would it take for her to resume the chase now?  _

* * *

“ Dance of the Dragon!” 

Kagura gave a little yelp of excitement as the tornado ripped through the field; now that she had a proper fan again, she could practice all her old tricks and maybe work out some new ones. It seemed that as long as the fan remained in contact with her skin, it would shift along with her when she transformed. If she timed things right, could she morph into a sliver of wind within her own whirlwind, and cut her enemy down from inside? 

_ If only there was someone to test it out on.  _

Settling in the grass, she took a moment to breathe. A burning dryness plagued the air, and had for some time; perhaps it was due to the fire creatures? But then, she would have expected the heat to evaporate once they were slain. 

Unless Sesshomaru had been careless. 

Flipping the weapon over with nimble fingers, she casually fanned her neck. He’d promised her that night that her attacker had been taken care of. But when she thought back to the tree crashing down, Kagura didn’t recall a heat or bright light. In fact, she hadn’t seen at all who had rained forest debris upon her -- only felt a bitter resignation that she wasn’t going down in a better fight. 

Kagome said that the taijiya siblings had been the ones to rescue her. How long had it taken to find her and bring her to Inuyasha’s village? In their recent meeting, neither Sango nor Kohaku seemed at all aware of the fire creatures’ existence. 

Sesshomaru warned her of the danger at the moment Jaken had been tracking the last of the intruders’ movements. It wouldn’t have taken another few days to find and dispatch it, if the creature was really as slow and stupid as they’d said. Nor would it have escaped the notice of two well-trained slayers, even if it had gotten away somehow. 

_ It’s clear that it wasn’t the fire creature that attacked me. So why wouldn’t he just say directly what it was? Or at least mention there was something else in the area, if it could be connected to Rin. We spent so much time going over the whole thing… _

Kagura snapped her fan closed. A breeze whipped around her, unfamiliar in some way. It carried the scent of a storm, yet the sky seemed quite sunny. She let the draft dance up her shoulders to the back of her neck before swinging her arm to dissipate it. 

_ Sesshomaru. The next time I see you, we’ll have much to discuss.  _

* * *

“Rin, wait up!” 

The girl came to stop just before the trees of the northern forest. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Kohaku running towards her with Kilala at his side. Waving one arm, he called her name again. 

“Where are you headed?” 

Instead of answering, Rin planted both feet solidly on the grass and glared at him. “I want to be alone. Go back to the village.” 

“We never got to finish our conversation from the other day.” The taijiya boy dropped to a crouch, fingers brushing over a clump of dandelions in the grass. Somehow they’d escaped the oppressive heat of summer, and now when he plucked at them, the seeds spread out into the air to be carried far away. Kilala snapped at them playfully, and Kohaku chuckled at her antics. Rin was struck with a sudden memory of traveling with Sesshomaru, shortly before Naraku’s defeat. 

_ “You stupid child, don’t waste your strength picking dandelions! You’ll slow us down.” _

_ “Oh, come on, Master Jaken. They’re so pretty.” _

_ “How can a weed be pretty?! You--” _

_ “Jaken.” _

_ “My lord?” _

_ “Let her do as she likes.”  _

Her smiles had come more easily then, like the one Kohaku wore now. Perhaps he had a happy memory of flowers too. It seemed like those feelings were distant for Rin now, more like shadows that she could only barely make the shape of. It made the heaviness in her stomach grow, pressing painfully against her lungs. 

“Kohaku, do you remember being in the underworld?” 

“Hm?” His eyebrows shot up. “A bit. Why do you ask?” 

Wrapping both arms around her middle, Rin shook her head. "Lord Sesshomaru acts like he forgot. But I still think about it all the time. I can still feel...dogs biting me. Well, not biting, but snapping at me.” 

Kilala pushed forward to nuzzle Rin’s chin. She let both hands sink into the cat’s fur--gently, as she knew how often Kohaku’s nieces had to be reminded not to pull too hard.  “How come I’m still sad, when everybody else is so happy?” 

His mouth turned down, and one hand crept towards the back of his neck. “It’s fine that you’re still sad, Rin. A lot of bad things happened to you for a long time.”

_ Bad things still happen.  _ Tears leaked from her eyes as she remembered what she’d come across on her last visit to the forest. “Kohaku, can I show you something?” 

Relief bled across his features. Moving to stand, he held out a hand to her. “Of course.” 

She took his arm, the other fingers still curled in Kilala’s fur. The cat purred comfortingly at her as they walked, three together, into the trees. 


	11. Eight

In her more recent explorations of the stream near her cabin, Kagura had discovered with glee a place where the water broke off, flowing down a depression in the earth to create a long pool. Studded with rocks and weedy plants, it felt slightly more private than anywhere else the water ran nearby. The perfect place to take a bath. 

Despite the feeling of relative safety, she wasn’t an idiot; the forest wasn’t that difficult to walk through, and all manner of beings could come across her in this state. After a brief internal debate she’d chosen to leave her outer clothes on the bank, while keeping her kosode knotted around a stick that she stood upright in the middle of the pool. That way, if some unknowing human or demon came across her, she could cover up quickly. 

She’d been relaxing in the water for almost twenty minutes before being interrupted. It was likely that he’d purposely waited for her to dip underwater and resurface before coming to stand by the edge of the pool. Brushing wet hair from her eyes, she nearly slipped and fell from surprise.

“Kagura.” 

Chin-deep in the stream, the wind sorceress raised an eyebrow at him. “Sesshomaru.” 

The lack of screeching about her refusal to address him with a title meant Jaken wasn’t here. _ Good. _

For a moment she wondered if he was averting his gaze out of some noble politeness; but then his lip curled in distaste, and she realized he was glaring at the fan Kohaku had given her. She hadn’t wanted to get it wet, and so it lay propped on top of her folded kimono and obi. Kagura thought suddenly of the earrings she’d been given by Naraku, how they had been left chipped and broken after her resurrection; she’d disposed of them quickly soon after. It was easier to bathe without having to worry about losing them, or whether she’d be punished for it. 

She wondered if the Demon Lord had noticed they were gone. 

“Are you going to say something, or just stand there like a teenage boy seeing a girl naked for the first time?” 

He bristled, and Kagura bit back a laugh at the hypocrisy of it. She was the one who should be offended, being interrupted in a private moment. 

“Are you keeping the gift from the human boy?” 

“No one else gives me presents.” Droplets of water clung to her eyelashes as she blinked. Deciding not to stop her task on his behalf, Kagura cupped both hands and scrubbed at her face. 

“You seem quite content to live with the barest of means.”

“I have my freedom. What else should I want?” An urge to spit a mouthful of water at him rose within her, and she had to duck back under to hide her smile. 

When she surfaced again, he hadn’t moved. However, a wrapped package now sat on the rocks, beside her pile of adornments. 

“What’s that?” Kagura smoothed her bangs back into place and blinked up at him. Sesshomaru’s gaze avoided her, moving instead to where kosode bobbed above the water.

“If you are no longer wearing the attire he forced on you, people will not as often assume that Naraku was involved in your resurrection.” After a long moment he added, “It will be easier to look at you if you are dressed properly.”

_ Properly for what? _

“What the hell are you up to?” Refusing to tread closer to the bank where he stood, Kagura dug her toes into the stream bed. “You’ve never given me anything before.” 

“If you don’t want it, then leave it here. It means nothing to me regardless.” 

“How can it mean nothing to you when you’re the one who dumped it here?” Frustrated, Kagura slapped at the water, splashing her kosode and causing it to wobble dangerously on the stick. Suddenly, she was struck by an impossible thought. 

_ He can’t possibly be trying to apologize for snapping at me the other day. _

“If your shameless display of poverty is a request for others to provide on your behalf, then you shouldn’t reject that which is offered to you.” Crossing both arms behind his back, Sesshomaru waited. 

“Fine. I’ll put it on, after I’m done. Now can you get out of here?” She gestured dramatically to the stream, the action splashing her now-damp kosode again. Loudly, she swore; to her utter shock, the dog demon’s face seemed to lose a bit of its firmness. Was he...amused?

_ Maybe I drowned and this is all some dying fantasy, _ she thought as he finally turned and walked away. _ There’s no way in Hell that he would show up just to give me a present. Never mind leave in a good mood. _

After finally dragging herself out of the water (then promptly having to go back in to retrieve the kosode), Kagura dried her hands on the sleeve of her kimono and peeled open the package. 

Plainly, she had to admit the fabric was in much better shape than her current wear. The design wasn’t hideous, although she didn’t know enough about fashion to view herself as a reliable source on that subject. And there were three separate pieces, just as she was used to. Quickly she dressed, bundling her old outfit under her arm, and made her way back to the hut. 

Okay, fine, she had to admit that she was a little bit pleased. Unlike most of their interactions thus far, neither one of them had stormed off in a huff. Though his motives still seemed to elude her, he hadn’t asked for anything in return. Even his bringing up Naraku hadn’t fazed her. Usually even the mention of the demon’s name sent Kagura’s heart beating hard and fast and anxiety prickling her skin. Now, wrapped in cloth that her former master had never touched, she felt a groundedness in her body that she hadn’t even known she’d been missing.

Joy bubbled up in her throat. Though she'd always used the pattern of the organ in her chest as a physical reminder that she was no longer trapped in obedience, Kagura realized that, for the first time, every piece of her was purely after Naraku. The fan in her hand, the body carrying her back to a little home of her own making, and now the clothing she wore. 

_ Had it been his intention to remind me? _

Bringing pruned fingertips to her lips, Kagura let her mind drift back to the kiss that Sesshomaru had pressed upon her. It felt like ages ago, when she’d made herself known to him. Long before all the drama with Rin and...

Oh, shit. Being caught off guard meant she’d forgotten to confront him over the incident in the forest. 

With a groan, Kagura unfurled her fan and whipped it sharply in the direction of her wet hair. She would have to call on him later to demand an explanation; otherwise she might as well tattoo the list of things that didn’t add up to her forehead, in order to remember them all. 

* * *

As she approached Kaede’s hut, Sango made out the distinct sounds of arguing. Praying briefly for strength of temperament, she tapped loudly on the panel of wood shielding the inside of the old priestess’ workspace. “Lady Kaede?” 

The door cracked open, bringing Shippo’s smile into view. He stood aside to let her in, and the taijiya prickled with annoyance to see Jaken fuming in the corner. _ Is Lord Sesshomaru that impatient for an update? _

“Rin isn’t here,” Kaede was explaining for what seemed to be the hundredth time to the little imp. “She wanted to take a walk. I saw Kohaku and Kilala going in the same direction, so there is no need for concern.” 

“If there was no need for concern, then I would not be here!” Jaken stamped the ground. “The child has obviously lost her marbles, screeching at Lord Sesshomaru the way she did! Rin has always loved Lord Sesshomaru. We must find a way to fix--”

“Lady Kaede,” Sango interrupted, holding out the disk in one palm. “I have something I’d like you to look at, if you have the time.”

“Me first, me first!” Shippo bounced up and down, and Sango noticed for the first time he was carrying a bundle. “I have _ two _things I wanna show you!” 

“Alright, both of you come have a seat.” The old priestess gestured to the stone table where she did much of her research as of late; there were four comfy cushions seated around it, as well as a rather abundant wall of charms and sutras framing the space. Sango chose the cushion pressed against the wall, and Shippo the one beside it. Instead of leaving, Jaken joined them at the table, muttering something under his breath. 

“Now, you found something in the fields a few days ago?” Rubbing her chin, Kaede turned to Shippo. The fox nodded and set a bolt of dark cloth on the table. The priestess carefully brushed a few knuckles over the fabric in curiosity. 

“Someone buried it. I didn’t see who it was, but I think she went back into the forest.”

Sango pressed her lips together. _ The same place we found the fire creature’s body. Could the “she” that Shippo means be the same one that Rin was upset over? _

_ It’s a good thing that I asked Kohaku to keep an eye on her. _

“Why does it look all shiny like that, Lady Kaede?” Shippo propped his chin in both hands, leaning over the table with wide eyes.

“Perhaps…” Her gaze turned to the cup, and the words fell away. “Interesting.” 

“What could be interesting about a dirty cup!” Jaken glowered at the objects. Sango had to catch herself before impulsively scolding him, the way she would if one of her children was being rude. 

Reaching out a wizened hand to Sango, Kaede said carefully, “Did that piece also come from the northern forest?” 

“Yes.” She set the disk next to the fabric, blinking in surprise as the threads seemed to shift in color. Now that she was really looking, the disk she and Miroku had discovered seemed to be made of the same type of clay as Shippo’s cup, although the former had grooves carved into it in some kind of design. Other than its vibrant color, the cup appeared quite plain. “We found it buried in what was left of the fire creature’s body.” 

“Hm.” Spreading both hands over the collection of items on the table, Kaede said solemnly, “These are all objects from the divine world. It is very strange for them to end up in our hands.”

“Divine world? You mean the underworld?” 

“Not necessarily. Many gods and goddesses do not enjoy mingling with humans; therefore, they keep their engagements restricted to a plane of existence separate from that of humans and demons. Ghosts, like those our local monk _ claims _to exorcise, are often trapped between the worlds of living and dead. This is merely another world of living, for those who exist outside the boundaries of time.” 

Shippo snickered, ignoring Sango’s heavy sigh over the (unfortunately well-warranted) insult towards Miroku. The kitsune's face grew solemn, however, as Kaede gestured to the cup. 

“Multiple objects in one forest, especially that one, would suggest that a deity has taken up residence in the area. However, such a being would typically announce themselves through prophetic dreams or natural signs, so that the humans on this plane could prepare offerings or shrines for worship. I have received no warnings, and I’m sure any other villager would have mentioned it if they had.” 

She then pointed to the disk. “This would be a lid to some other divine object. Perhaps it broke, or was otherwise discarded.” 

“Do you think that the fire creatures could have been deities?” Sango pressed both hands to her thighs to stop them from shaking at the thought. Had Lord Sesshomaru killed--

“This crone said herself, gods would have announced themselves!” Jaken shook his head. “Lord Sesshomaru defeated all five of them because they had not received permission to walk these lands. Would he not have received some divine punishment if they had been so important?” 

Shippo squinted at the cup. “What would a god use this for, Lady Kaede?” 

“In my youth,” she said with a slight tremble in her voice, “my mother would sometimes describe the magic and creationism of deities through the method of consumption. It’s possible this cup was used by a god simply to take offerings; however, it could also be a source of spiritual power.” 

The trio stared at the objects, as though silence would encourage them to reveal their true natures.

“And all of these things were found in the forest, where Rin spends much of her time,” Sango said finally. “And she’s been acting strangely.” 

“If this silly little cup is what has upset Rin, then I will smash it!” Jaken shook his staff menacingly, catching the side of Shippo’s head with a _ thunk _. In a flash, Kaede and Sango each had an arm out to shield the table; yelling, the kitsune launched himself off the cushion to throttle the toad. 

“Lady Kaede, what should we do?” Sango was already thinking of how she would inform Inuyasha of the situation. Although it would no doubt be unpleasant, updating the hanyou was going to be nothing compared to his brother; she didn’t envy Jaken at all. “Keeping these objects may be dangerous, but not doing anything could also worsen the problem.” 

“Hm.” The wise woman adjusted the strap of her eyepatch, oblivious to the fox and imp tumbling beside her in a fit of teeth and fists. “Are we certain that Rin’s behavior is due to a possible spiritual influence?” 

The taijiya recalled her discussion with Miroku in the woods. Everything in her experience with demons signaled that Rin’s behavior was due to external causes. But some dark place in her heart whispered that she couldn’t know that for sure. “I couldn’t say.” 

Nodding, Kaede turned to address a little chest hidden under her side of the table. Out of it came a large white cloth, which she used to wrap up the collection of objects. “Then we will continue to watch her, and hope that time will tell us what she needs. In the meantime, I will keep these in the town shrine. Perhaps praying over them will encourage the gods to send me a sign or two.” 

“Maybe they’ll send a message to Kagome!” Shippo chimed in, from his place solidly on top of a screeching Jaken’s back. “Her aura is pretty strong now.” 

“Indeed, her spiritual powers have grown immensely since her return.” The old woman’s face spread into a kind smile, one that warmed Sango to the tips of her toes. “It is an important thing, to have so many of us looking after one another.”

* * *

“I’ve been bringing her food. We just talked; I told her a little bit about Naraku, and things like that.” 

Kohaku tried to keep every word Rin was saying crystal clear in his mind as they picked through the forest, so he could relay it to the others as accurately as possible. While part of him didn’t understand why Rin had done something so dangerous as to keep a secret from everyone in the village, he also recalled that she had met Sesshomaru in much the same way as she had the person they now discussed. 

“What’s her name? Do you know what kind of being she is?” 

Instead of answering, Rin gestured towards a tall tree several feet away. The bark close to its roots was worn away, as though something had lain there for a while. “It had been a couple of days. And I got up really early, so I could meet with her before Lord Sesshomaru came to visit. I brought apples.” 

On the girl’s other side, Kilala’s ear flicked, and she moved a step closer to the tree. That was enough to make Kohaku want to stop and investigate the area further. But Rin was already moving, stepping up over overgrown shrubs and fallen leaves to where the foliage grew darker. 

“I thought it was strange that she wasn’t there, because she never left the tree all the times before. She was too scared. So I went looking for her.”

They walked for another ten minutes before Rin came to a stop. Pointing shakily, her voice broke into a sob. “I almost fell in.” 

The ground abruptly fell away before them into a wide ovular pool, the size of two tatami mats. From above, the surface of the water was dark blue, almost black. Kohaku could see no ripples; instead the water was completely smooth like a sheet of glass. An unmistakable sourness permeated the air, making his eyes water. Rin had correctly identified it earlier as the scent that clung to Sesshomaru’s poison. 

Hiccuping, Rin knelt to the ground. Tears clung to her chin before dropping into the grass. “She wasn’t dangerous.” 

Kilala peered into the pool and hissed, the noise stinging deep in Kohaku’s ears. Swallowing, he took a careful step forward to chance a look into the depths of the water. 

It was impossible to tell how deep the body lay, sunken face-first into the pool. Black hair nearly melded with the inky murkiness, and although her arms and legs were outstretched, she was cloaked in a dark robe that hid any other features. Whatever flesh he could see was swollen and pale. More poison smell leached from the water, and Kohaku pulled back with an arm over his nose. 

“How could he?” Rin cried, burying her face in Kilala’s neck as the cat moved back to her side. “She was so _ sad _…” 

Kohaku turned his back on the grim sight. Threads of painful memories drifted into his consciousness, and he counted backwards from one hundred until they were gone. Then he reached out a hand towards the crying girl. 

“We have to go back and tell the others.”


	12. Interlude Three

_ “Nagisa! Where are you?”  _

_ Her jar was gone. She’d dropped it back where the screams of her brothers still echoed, along with the scent of something acrid and violent. Now she clung to a high branch in some tall tree deep in the woods. The fingers of her right hand clutched around the jar’s lid, her only remnant of power. She could see glimpses of Haru as he ran through the brush below, heat pouring from his body.  _

_ Something was following; she could do nothing to warn him.  _

_ Bark dug harshly into her knees, making them bleed rivers. Why had they been sent here? What had they done?  _

_ Something large and white appeared in front of Haru, forcing him to stop short. Nagisa gasped in horror; the energy surrounding this being seemed to fill every space between every leaf in the forest. Squeezing her eyes shut, she flung what was left of her jar at it.  _

_ The lid bounced against the monster’s back with an audible crack; to her relief, winds circled around it to maximize the impact. Growling, the monster turned in her direction. If her brother hadn’t chosen that moment to let loose a stream of fire from his lips, Nagisa supposed she would have been ripped from the branches and destroyed.  _

_ Instead, she could hear Haru’s dying scream as she flew deep into the forest, legs barely touching the surface of tree trunks, as the winds carried her away.  _

_ There are more jars, she chanted to herself, waterfalls of tears staining her robe. Find another jar.  _

_ You will not be safe until you do. _

* * *

_ She’d been hiding from the witch for days.  _

_ Even though she had a familiar form as to what Nagisa was used to, the monster seemed to follow the witch. Maybe the witch didn’t even know -- was she merely prey? _

_ Better he eats her than me, Nagisa whispered to herself.  _

_ Anyway, the winds didn’t obey her when the witch was near; like excitable children, they ran from her arms to encircle around the witch’s waist and wrists and ankles. Nagisa didn’t like it. It didn’t feel safe without the breeze and rain at her side; especially on the days when she felt like her legs were made of stone, and she couldn’t have moved if begged to.  _

_ A crashing noise exploded in her ears, and she peeked out from the branch where she crouched. The witch was driving the winds into the earth, beseeching them to lift a huge tree into the air. Its roots were long dead, dragging the ground like pale worms. Leaves broke off in huge swaths as sharp twists of air flung the tree a hundred feet away. The witch’s face broke into a smile at her own display of her power. Everything in Nagisa’s chest burned.  _

_ She was too much like Father.  _

_ She was too much like Nagisa, herself.  _

_ Nagisa called the winds to her, and flung the tree back.  _


	13. Nine

This time, she didn’t show any surprise when she met him on her morning quest for food. Kagura assumed he had been summoned back to the village for an update on Rin, and was purposely taking his time. For some reason. 

“Do you always scavenge like this?” 

“Yes.” She peeled a piece of skin away from the fruit that she’d plucked from some sticky-looking vine. It looked ripe enough; his eyes narrowed as she took a generous bite. 

“You could poison yourself.”

“I’ve been around long enough to know what is edible and what’s not.” She was wearing the clothes he’d given her, and he had definitely noticed, but apparently had no plans to say anything about it. Kagura swallowed heavily. After a few more bites, she let the remains of the fruit fall to the ground. “Let’s chat outside the forest.” 

He gave a long-suffering sigh, but kept pace as she moved through the trees. 

They walked for a long time. Maybe too long; the heat of the western lord’s impatience was practically burning the skin off the back of Kagura’s neck. Finally, once she was sure they were far away enough that there could be no prying eyes or ears on this discussion, she stopped.

“You’re wasting my time.” Sesshomaru’s voice was tight with irritation. What else could she expect? It wasn’t like he ever reacted beyond indifference or anger when they talked. She’d often wondered if there could ever be anything else between them. 

Which made everything about this situation all the more puzzling. 

“_ Kagura _.” 

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. “I’ve been wondering why you hid what it was that harmed me in the woods.” 

He stood very still; she couldn’t guess what he thought she’d been about to say. 

“You paused in your assault of the fire creatures to warn me of danger.” Her lips pursed with the effort of seeming nonchalant. “But, as Jaken said, you did slay them all. When I was injured, I was taken to the human village -- not by you, but by Kohaku and his sister. Then you came to me, saying the danger was defeated. You’ve never shared how you knew what being was responsible.” 

The half-moon on his forehead wrinkled as he frowned. “Jaken’s relation of the massacre is true. What attacked you was of...similar origins. I slayed it shortly before the taijiya siblings arrived.” 

“So you were close by when it attacked, then.” _ He was spying on me. _“What was it?” 

His eyes turned up to the sky, an unreadable emotion in them. Anxiety flooded her bloodstream as his hesitation stretched on. He wasn’t exactly the type to boast, but he also wasn’t the type to hide that which he had done, so long as he believed it had been just. 

“Just tell--” 

“She may have been a goddess. Or the child of one.” 

Kagura fell to the ground in shock. Fingers settling firmly against the ground for balance, she swore loudly. 

“She had not garnered permission to reside on this land. Regarding your business in the woods, she did not have the right to dole out punishment.” 

““You killed a fucking _ goddess _for me.” Gouging long lines into the dirt, Kagura spat, “You wouldn’t defeat Naraku when I asked, you wouldn’t use your sword to save me --”

“Tensaiga refused to revive you.” His hand flexed toward the weapon at his side. “I could not force her.” 

“But when Rin died a second time, you found some way to bring her back,” she argued. “You wouldn’t save me when I asked you, but now you’re telling me that you--” Something struck her mind. Kagura stood. “You didn’t tell Jaken about it. Which means that none of the others know, either.” 

Growling, he turned his back on her. “I do not make a habit of sharing my business with those who it does not concern.” 

“The other things you slaughtered could have been gods too. They should know--” 

In a moment, his hand was around her throat, fiery eyes bearing into hers. “You will say nothing!” 

Wind whipped around them forcefully, as the sky above darkened. Gusts struck the side of his face, howling angrily, as Kagura leveled him with a dangerous gaze. “A man with honor wouldn’t fear the consequences of his decisions.” 

“I don’t fear _ consequences _,” he spat. Her pulse was quick beneath his palm. “That woman sealed her own fate when she chose to attack what’s mine.” 

“You’re terrible at flirting,” she snapped, hand coming up to pull at the fingers necklaced around her throat. “You’d do something so foolish, but you’ve never asked me to be yours. Am I supposed to swoon and fall at your feet now? Idiotic bastard--” 

Air roared in his ears, before the wind picked up doubly in speed. Breath left his lungs in a rush, and as his chest started to burn he wondered if she would truly suffocate him. Kagura’s eyes fixed on something behind his shoulder; the scent of another was impossible to pick up in the center of the gale she’d created. 

“Shit,” she wheezed around his grip. “That’s not--”

In a moment the air came crashing between them, forcing him to lose his grip on the wind witch. Kagura fell hard against the ground, Sesshomaru thrown almost a mile away. The wind witch looked up, stricken, into a series of shifting features that somehow held the general shape of a woman. 

“He killed my sister,” the woman gasped, green jar clutched tightly to her chest. “Nagisa…” 

_ What. _

_ The. _

_ Fuck. _

Standing, Kagura turned her head to peer into the distance. Wherever Sesshomaru had landed, he hadn’t gotten up yet. It was possible he wasn't even conscious at the moment. 

_ Serves him right. _“That vase is certainly something.” 

“It’s not a _ vase. _” The offense was obvious. Kagura offered no apology. 

The two women eyed each other. In the wind sorceress’ opinion, the other's appearance was quite odd; there were definitely features to her face, but one would be hard pressed to pin more than a few of them down. Her robe seemed to alternatively shine and darken, like sunlight hitting the surface of water. 

Still, weird as she looked, she clearly had the capacity to be dangerous. Kagura would have to be careful. 

“Don’t think that your little wind display killed him.” She held her fan delicately, wondering if it would be taken for a weapon versus a mere accessory. “He’ll be out of breath for only a moment.”

“Are you alright?” It was as if Kagura hadn't even spoken; the woman’s lip trembled. “It’s terrible, what he did to Nagisa...I couldn’t let him do it to you, too.” 

Kagura rolled her eyes. If Sesshomaru had really wanted to kill her, then he would have done so. “Pathetic dog. He was just throwing a tantrum_ . _”

The woman frowned in confusion. Kagura circled a step closer, wondering what her next move would be. If that jar went anywhere near Sesshomaru again, she'd have to risk her sense of self-preservation and get involved. As much as the Western Lord would hate her aiding him, he would also come back and haunt her for the rest of her natural life if she just stood by and allowed this weepy whisper of a woman to destroy him. 

"Oh..." Sighing heavily, the woman’s shoulders sagged. She rested the jar on the ground before them with gentle hands, as though the ceramic carried within it the weight of worlds. “I can’t believe my father sent us here. Everything about this place is terrible. We’ve been so lost, so _ helpless… _”

“Oh, come on.” The wind sorceress shook her head. “Don’t be like that.” 

“...what?” 

“You’re a goddess, aren’t you?” Kagura tapped the fan against her chin. “Stop ignoring your own power to fuss over those who have betrayed you.” 

The woman blinked at her with huge eyes. For a moment the air stilled, and Kagura’s heart was relieved for it. 

“You’re right.” The woman stooped to pick the jar back up from the ground. For the first time, she flashed a smile, as her fingers caressed the lid. “I _ am _a goddess. Of the storm. That means I can control the wind.” 

Just as suddenly as it had appeared, the smile vanished. She held the jar aloft. “Forgive me.” 

In the instant when the lid opened, Kagura felt her bones shifting. She tried to swing her fan arm out and counterattack, but her physical form refused to maintain itself. In a flash she was nothing but a gust of air. With a clack, the fan fell uselessly to the ground.

Then she was trapped in darkness. 

* * *

Stupid wind witch. If he had any idea where she was now, he would make her regret resurrecting. 

Shoving his arm back into the socket with a crack, Sesshomaru sat up from the ground where he’d landed. His flight had barely cleared the ground, leaving a deep scar across the stretch of land from where she’d questioned him. Near asphyxiation had caused him a few moments of unconsciousness, and he shook the rest of the dizziness off sharply. 

How had she gotten so powerful in such a short time? Perhaps it was connected to emotion, and she had been well and truly furious. Which, if so, spoke to her lack of sense. 

So he’d killed a god or six. It had been for her life; why she had thrown a tantrum over it, he didn’t care to understand. Her scent had disappeared from the fields, and he had no intentions of combing the forest for her.

There was another task he’d been putting off. 

Making sure Bakusaiga and Tensaiga were safe, he set off in the direction of the North. The trip would take a day or so; let Kagura pout if she wished.

He was not the cause of Rin’s dysfunction, and this would prove it. 

* * *

_ Come on, spirits. Talk to me. I’m a lot of fun, I promise! _

Kagome refused to open her eyes. Bile swam into her throat, and she clenched her teeth in refusal of it. She would _not _reach for the bucket sitting at the entrance to the shrine again. Every time she had to, it completely shattered her focus. This calming trance was going to happen. 

Sesshomaru had never shown up. Which meant Inuyasha had thrown a massive fit over not being able to demand an explanation for the body found in the woods. Kagome hadn’t seen the corpse herself, but Kohaku had assured her that it was far from pretty. 

The two had finally decided to head towards Sesshomaru’s estate to confront the daiyokai there. To Kagome, it seemed a really stupid plan, but there had been no talking Inuyasha out of it. In the meantime, she’d chosen to sit in the shrine, otherworldly items splayed out on a cloth in front of her, and hope for a sign. 

To be bluntly honest, she didn’t see what was divine about the objects before her. To Kagome, the cup and shroud and little bowl-thingy were pretty, but not nearly as powerful as the Shikon jewel. Still, both Kaede and Miroku had confirmed that there was some kind of strange aura surrounding the items. And if doing this would help them figure out how to help Rin, then she would do anything to see that through. 

So, steeling herself against another urge to vomit, she put all her focus into connecting to that power. 

_ Please, gods of the...other world? I want to understand what these things mean. _

_ I want to understand. _

Slowly, something on the edges of her consciousness seemed to inch closer. A lightness seeped into her bones, as though her entire body was falling away. With a sigh, Kagome kept her eyes shut, willing an image or word into the forefront of her mind.

_ Then it was like she was in a great hall, somewhere she didn’t recognize. The walls appeared to fade into the ceiling like the entire room was made of clouds; giant beings moved about, dressed in colors so bright it hurt to look at them. It was very similar to being in a dream, or watching TV; Kagome could see and hear things happening, but no one else appeared to be affected by her presence there. Steadily, she moved in the direction where the others were going, to a huge green cushion made of leaves and vines at the end of the room. _

_ Two beings sat at each end of the cushion. One shone brightly, as though her skin housed a million stars. An empty chain hung around her neck. The other sat with a scowl on his face, twisting the ends of his beard around and around. _

_ Several women in white fluttered around the bright lady; in a moment, she turned to face Kagome, who squeaked in surprise at being addressed. _

_ “Not welcome.” Impossibly, it was both a whisper and a scream. The woman’s face shone brighter, and brighter, until Kagome had no choice but to cover her eyes. _

She came to, gasping, in the shrine. Whirling around, Kagome reached for the bucket and heaved. 


	14. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A. Thank you to everyone who keeps reading and commenting, it's really great and helps me feel confident enough to keep posting. You took a chance on this story and I'm glad so many of you are enjoying yourselves! 
> 
> B. Content warning for brief suicidal thinking in the second vignette. 
> 
> C. I thought when I began this story that I wouldn't ever write a scene with Sesshomaru's mom and yet...here we are.

“Oi, Kohaku!” 

The taijiya looked down from his and Kilala’s place in the sky. On the ground below, Inuyasha waved. They’d only just started their journey to confront Sesshomaru over what he’d done to the woman in the forest; the hanyou couldn’t possibly be tired already. 

“Get down here already, there’s somethin’ you need to look at!” Tapping his foot impatiently, Inuyasha gestured at him again. Kohaku sighed. It took a stroke at Kilala’s neck for her to descend.

Once they reached the ground, Inuyasha flicked his ear towards the expanse before them. “That look normal to you?”

A line of carved-out-earth marred the surface of the land for quite a ways, as if scraped by a giant claw. Kohaku recalled seeing similar marks when he’d first started going out with Sango and their father to clean up after a slayer’s mission. 

“Looks like what’s left of a demon fight.” 

“And I bet I can guess the players.” The hanyou sniffed the air. “Sesshomaru. That coward, he musta been on his way to the village and turned around knowing we were coming for him…”

Kohaku would’ve pointed out that Sesshomaru’s style did not lean towards running away, especially when it came to confrontations with his half-brother; but a glimmer of blue distracted him. “Isn’t that Kagura’s fan?” 

“Huh.” Bounding forward, Inuyasha picked up the weapon from the ground. “Did she chuck him all the way over there like that? Geez, her power must be increasing.” 

“She wouldn’t have just left it here. It changes with her when she shifts.” Though there was no sign of blood or body, that didn’t mean that Kagura was unharmed. Especially if she’d upset the Western Lord. Kohaku folded the fan and stuck it in his belt where it’d be safe. “Maybe we’ll find both of them when we reach the fortress.” 

Inuyasha crossed both arms, sniffing the air again. His face looked puzzled for a moment, but he shook his head to clear it. “Kagura hangs out in the forest a lot. What if she found out what he did, decided to be stupid, and bugged him about it?” 

“I thought we were going to do that.” 

“We are!” The hanyou bristled. “Just because it’s stupid, doesn’t mean we don’t have the right! Sesshomaru thinks just because he’s a full demon that he can do whatever he wants, go around killing whoever, and nobody calls him on it. Other than Rin, he acts like he doesn’t give a shit about anything -- and now he’s hurt her, too.”

Kohaku didn’t reply. He knew that Inuyasha and his brother had a complicated relationship, one that didn’t amount to much in the way of mutual love or support. But he also knew that, from his brief time traveling with the daiyokai, there was more to him than simple bloodthirst for power. He’d saved Kohaku’s own life, when he had no reason to do so. Spared Sango’s life, even after she’d tried to hurt Rin at the very end--gone to hell and back to rescue the young girl. Though Kohaku couldn’t understand some of the decisions that the Western Lord made, he wanted to believe there was a time in the future where everyone in his life would be able to coexist peacefully.

Hadn’t they all seen enough war for one lifetime? 

“Enough thinking, come on. Kilala’s gettin’ antsy.” With a shove against the teen’s shoulder, Inuyasha started off again. 

* * *

She couldn’t breathe. 

But she didn’t need to breathe. 

But she  _ wanted to breathe.  _

_ . _

_ . _

_ . _

It was so dark. There was nothing here, and she couldn’t shift back into her human body to get her bearings, no matter how many times she tried. But unlike when she usually transformed into her element, Kagura couldn’t actually move through the darkness.

It was like being frozen in time. 

Why her? Why _this_?  What kind of being would ever trap something meant to be unhindered, force her formlessness into some impossible shape? What purpose could they have? 

The possibility that she might be there forever was slightly less terrifying than the realization that she didn’t even have the ability to end things for herself like this. She couldn’t reach out for help. Couldn't toss herself off or into anything. 

Kagura couldn’t even give herself one last glimpse of life--especially not a last look at the same person she’d always sought out before, when death was breathing down her neck. 

There was no death here. Just endless  _ nothing. _

.

.

.

Naraku had always threatened to leave her in the dark. To hold her there, in pain and helplessness. 

To watch her waste away. 

* * *

“I didn’t expect you to visit again for another ten years or so.” 

Sesshomaru felt a cold rush of air as the door to his mother’s dining room slammed shut behind him. Despite the seasonal heat, the lady daiyokai’s estate was always kept cool. She had been clever enough to keep a collection of wind and snow yokai in her servitude; in the winter they managed the fortress she kept in the mountains, and in the summer they stayed with her here, closer to her sons’ lands. 

The dining room had been redecorated recently; Mother sat at the end of a long table he didn’t recognize. She picked at a plate piled high with what looked like nearly raw flesh, festooned with bright orange flowers as a garnish. A pair of goblets sat at her elbow. One was filled with dark wine, the other with light. 

“If you’d sent a messenger ahead, I would have invited you to dine with me.” At the flick of her wrist, the servants that stood nervously by the corners of the room quickly made their escape.  So she could sense his temper. 

Good. 

“I have better things to do than eat.” 

She gazed at him unflinchingly. “Straight to the point then. Is this regarding the little girl you brought with you last time? If she’s perished again, I have nothing I can offer you.” 

“You brought her back wrong.” Teeth bared, his eyes narrowed in on the Meido stone around her neck. “With that useless trinket...”

“You didn’t find it useless when she was but a corpse in the arms of your servant.” Mother danced the tip of a claw over her lips. Her voice held more curiosity than concern. “Has she been acting strangely?”

“Would I be here if she wasn’t?” Everyone around him seemed to be an expert at wasting his time. If he’d wanted banter, he would have picked another fight with Kagura. 

Mother's expression softened, and he hated her for it. Looking down at her plate, she said, “The effects of the Meido stone can be quite stressful on weak human minds, especially those that have already escaped death once.” 

“You should have said.” 

“You didn’t ask.” Delicately, she plucked a princess lily from the dinner in front of her. He watched coldly as she held it to her lips, then abandoned it in favor of the hunk of meat on her plate. The first bite was careful, dainty even; and yet it still filled the room with a chilling violence. Blood dripped down her wrist, staining the edge of a lavender sleeve. 

“_Mother_.” He finally walked forward, stopping by a chair but refusing to sit, even when she graced him with a red-stained frown. “Rin has not retained the same character she had prior to her second death. Something drags her down.” 

Mother chewed for a while, before letting the meat fall back to the plate with a  _ thunk.  _ As she wiped her hands clean, she said very conversationally, “Humans are not meant to go in and out of various planes of existence. Demons shouldn’t make a habit of it either, although those with immense power often will not feel any side effects of it. Bits of the underworld can... _ cling.”  _ Her hand danced between the goblets before finally selecting the white. 

“How long will it be until the effects wear off?” 

Mother shook her head.  _ “ _ If what you want is for her to forget everything that she saw and felt during her time in the underworld, that is not possible. Asking that she not speak of it will only make the shadows clearer in her mind.” So briefly he might have missed it, her smile grew sad. “As much as we try, some burdens can never be relieved from our care.” 

“So you’re saying she won't get better.” Even speaking the words made Bakusaiga angrily twist in her scabbard. 

“Be honest with your mother.” Sipping carefully, the lady daiyokai glanced meaningfully towards the hunk of flesh on her plate before returning to match Sesshomaru’s own icy stare. “Will you propose when she is of age?” 

“No.” The answer had moved from his lips before she’d even finished speaking. Of course she knew he had no interest in such a thing -- Rin was human, and a child, and even when the latter ceased to be true he wouldn't be able to see her as anything like a _wife_. His mother had only asked such a question to tease him. 

Which meant that soon she would ask about--

“Your father’s other son married some time ago, I heard.” Raising her eyebrows at him over the rim of the glass, she sighed, “No offspring yet? It should be easier for him, being half-human to start with.”

He debated lying, or saying nothing at all. But in truth, no matter what he did, she’d find out. If she didn’t already know. “There will be a child by next summer.”

“Ah.” Mother sighed. One nail pinged the edge of the goblet. “At least you’ve bested him in all the ways that matter.” 

The way she said it made it sound like an insult, and for a moment he couldn’t see for the scarlet rage that crossed his vision. When it finally cleared, she’d drained one goblet and was nursing the other with a neutral look. 

“If you ever decide to settle, my son, you know that you are to bring the woman here for my judgment. Your father’s title must remain respected in these lands.” 

“He tarnished it himself through weakness.” 

Mother’s hand went to the Meido stone. Her claws caressed it briefly, as though it held her very heart. Then she shook her head at him. Centuries-old words echoed in his mind: _ah, my__bo__thersome pup..._

“Even so. You allow few to see beyond that temper; I would like to meet the one that can hold her own with you.” 

She winked, then with a flourish finished off the second goblet of wine. 

What had she heard? Who could have told her? Struggling to keep his face impassive, Sesshomaru reminded himself that he was here to figure out what to do with Rin. He wouldn’t allow himself to be distracted by Mother’s games. 

“Is there nothing I can do to ease Rin’s burden?” 

An exasperated sigh filled the space between them. “As a Demon Lord, no, there is not. Much of the work would be her own. What  _ may _ help would be benediction from a deity...preferably one motivated by guardianship or sustenance, not war or destruction. Humans are quite obsessed with worshipping such things, so one who has been properly preened over may see fit to ease her mental burdens." 

A deity. 

If not for the fact that the only other person in the room was his mother, Sesshomaru would have killed something. 


	15. Interlude Four

_ Holding the cup to His lips, Brother sipped deeply. Then, with a smirk towards Sister, He spat the contents on the floor. The attendants ran to hide behind their mistress, shrieking at His antics. _

_ Before Sister could scold him, the liquid on the floor began to steam and move, as though it was itself alive. Sister watched with an almost bored expression, Brother with a smile. The fluid molded into a shape before hardening, the way molten lava transforms into rock as a volcano is born. _

_ “Stealing my tricks again?” She rolled her eyes. _

_ Brother clapped his hands once, loudly. As her attendants fell into whispers, She watched as the shell formed by the liquid fell away. What was left was an unconscious but steadily breathing body. The pale form almost matched the whiteness of the marble floor, except for dark hair that encircled both shoulders and the blood red lips molded into a frown. _

_ He held out His hand, showing off the impossibly small storm working within the crease-valleys and river-veins of His palm. Suddenly, the wisps of air working small clouds into a dark frenzy pulled away to circle the pale skin of the being on the ground instead. The storm between His fingers eased as each gale left it. _

_ “A wind spirit.” Sister raised an eyebrow. “I expected something more after all your boasting.” _

_ Brother colored; before He could form an insult in reply, Sister bent to study the creature on the floor more closely. The laugh that came from Her chest filled the room with an almost unbearable haze of heat. _

_ “There’s not even a consciousness in this body. You’ve merely decorated someone else’s shell for us. Plucked a lifeless puppet from the garbage heap, to prove your power.” _

_ “I can return her life back to her,” Brother snarled, clutching the cup so hard it could have broken. “Just watch!” _

_ “No need.” Delicate fingers reached up to unclasp the jewels hanging from Her neck. Holding it out with a blinding stare, She continued, “You claimed to be a creator, Brother. Toss this one back to the world of the living if you so wish; but if you’d like a real challenge, then take this and hand me your sword. Let’s see what we can bring forth between us.” _


	16. Eleven

He’d traveled for most of the night, making it back to his fortress a few hours after the sunrise. Having not eaten or slept, his mood had worsened. 

The sight of his half-brother and the taijiya boy sitting on the front steps, Jaken nervously pacing around them, didn’t help. 

The imp leaped up and ran to the gate to greet him. “Lord Sesshomaru! Inuyasha and Kohaku are here, they wanted to--”

With a fiery glare, he silenced him. “I can hear you gritting your teeth from here, Half-Breed. If you have something to say, out with it.” 

“We’ve been waiting all fucking night for you, so don’t try it!” In a flash Tessaiga was out; the light reflecting off the blade was blinding. “We saw what you did to that woman in the northern woods!”

“In  _ my _ woods!” He snarled, louder than he perhaps might have if the past thirty-eight hours hadn’t been so unpleasant. “ _ She _ had no right to be there!” 

“I knew you were a jerk, but killing some defenseless girl seems like a real jump in character!” His half-brother’s words stung with self-righteousness. “You’ve been acting really weird, come to think of it. Tramping through the forest more than usual, killin’ people without saying anything to anybody, then running off all night...” 

He wasn’t the weird one. It was Rin that was having problems. This was simply an attempt to bait him, and he shouldn’t demean himself by arguing over it. 

“Rin found the body.” Kohaku said; he at least had the sense not to sound accusatory. “She’d been bringing food to her. Making friends.” 

That was impossible. The goddess had been deep in the forest when he’d caught her attempting to kill Kagura; it had only been after a chase that he’d slain her, and even then she wasn’t  _ that  _ close to the village. 

Not that he had to explain himself to anyone. 

“Lord Sesshomaru, is it true?” Jaken peered up at him, brow wrinkled. “Why didn’t you tell me, my Lord?” 

“You are entitled to nothing from me!” Again, Sesshomaru was unable to keep an unaffected tone. The toad hurried back towards the door, putting Kohaku and Inuyasha in between himself and his master.

“What about Kagura? You do the same thing to her?” Inuyasha nodded sharply towards Kohaku. The taijiya boy pulled something from his belt, which Jaken snatched from his grasp with ease. 

“Hey!” 

“Lord Sesshomaru, it’s the wind sorceress’ fan!” Jaken waved it above his head. Sesshomaru felt something in his chest clench in anger. He hadn’t done anything to Kagura; rather  _ she  _ was the one who was constantly causing  _ him  _ problems. 

“Kagura is nowhere on this estate. You will leave now, or face the consequences.” 

Kohaku bent by Inuyasha’s shoulder and murmured something; with a frustrated growl, the hanyou lowered his blade. “What a waste of time.” 

The two moved towards the gate, both clearly less than pleased. Sesshomaru brushed past them. It took a lot of willpower to ignore the way Bakusaiga and Tensaiga bickered at his waist, the former begging to douse her blade with their visitors’ blood. His father’s weapon, naturally, was against it.  _ Useless.  _

Before the door closed, Kohaku turned towards him, head bowed. 

“I hope there’s a good reason for what happened, Lord Sesshomaru. For Rin’s sake.” 

He let the slam of the door be his reply. 

* * *

Years later, Sango still couldn’t say what it was that made her decide to take her son out for a walk that day. Kohaku and Inuyasha had left the previous day for Lord Sesshomaru’s fortress; in order to distract Rin from the gravity of the situation, Sango had tasked her with keeping the twins busy. Since Miroku was preoccupied with examining the spiritual objects in Kaede’s shrine again, she had been left alone with her youngest.

After a brief stretch around the village, the boy tied to her chest and Hiraikotsu on her back, Sango found herself drawn to the barrier. Some fresh air would be good for Mushin’s lungs, right? 

There were few mothers in the village she felt comfortable asking; it always made her feel somewhat embarrassed, the way their brows would knit in confusion that she didn’t already know what was good for children, having taken such good care in raising her brother. Most times they would start babbling on about “intuition”. It always made Sango want to laugh. Her intuition was used to determining the strength of a demon’s power, how to delegate amongst a group of fighters, and the cleanest way to ensure a kill without endangering her comrades. Redirecting that towards something as precious and harmless as her three babies had been an interesting task. 

All in all, Sango trusted her own values deeply. But some days, she thought it’d be nice to have an older and wiser person confirm she’d done good work. 

She neared the edge of the village, where the sky peeked over the top of the wall like a playful child. With no wind, long locks of hair hung heavy against her shoulders. Mushin waved a chubby fist towards the sea of brown; she rubbed a hand over his back, tilting her head slightly so the strands slipped away from his grasp.

“We could step out for just a bit, hm, love?” 

The sun beamed heavily as Sango slipped out from the entrance carved in the village wall, letting it latch behind her. Inuyasha and Kaede had argued for almost a month over whether or not to build it. The village-wide vote had resulted in a fairly even split, no one wanting to insult either leader; Kagome had been the deciding vote, two and a half years late. Personally, Sango had a fondness for the long stretch of smooth wood--it was like a gentle reminder of her father’s taijiya village. Someday, she and Miroku planned to take their children to see what remained of those walls. 

She walked into the tall grass. One hand came up to shade her son’s eyes from the sun. Before her, fields stretched out before melting into a northern forest on one side and a series of hills on the other. Sango took a deep breath, glad for the fresh air. 

“Mama!” 

Her eyes snapped open, and she whirled around. Two small forms came into view, nearly made invisible by the curve of the village wall. Her daughters, Emi and Keiko, bows bobbing on their heads and no one to mind them. They ran towards her, stumbling against weeds. For a terrifying moment, Sango felt torn--she had to make sure they were alright, but she couldn’t put Mushin  _ down _ , what if he wandered off--but then they neared enough that it was only a few hurried steps to reach them. 

“Girls, what are you doing out here?” She crouched down, glad for the ties that held Mushin up so she could use both hands to smooth over the twins’ heads in search for injuries. “Where’s Rin?” 

Keiko nodded towards her sister. Emi’s lip wobbled, a sure sign that she was about to share something an adult wasn’t going to like.

* * *

.

.

.

Every other time she’d been trapped, Kagura had been able to wake up. 

At least since her death, that is. That she had escaped through resurrecting; the rest of the times since, she had woken up from a nightmare completely safe in her little hut. Some nights she hadn’t even slept; just roamed across forests and fields, all the way to the sea on the edge of the horizon. Nothing chased away the fear like submerging herself in all that was free. 

But this time, it wasn’t her mind that conjured the oppressive shadows. Nor were there any sensations to push out her anxiety and hopelessness. 

She had been well and truly captured. 

.

.

.

For a long moment, she wondered if perhaps this woman was a minion of Naraku’s in some way. Had he finally come back to haunt her in a tangible manner? Otherwise, her current situation was just cruelly coincidental with the fears he’d always tormented her with. Memories she had let go of long ago crept back; there was nothing else to think of, to experience. 

Hakudoshi’s cold little expression, glaring as though Kagura’s very existence was disappointing. First from a baby blanket, then that face of a petulant child. 

_ “Does it hurt, Kagura? Probably because Naraku just squeezed your heart...From wherever he is.”  _

Kanna, her pale face disappearing back from the hole in the floorboards. Never showing fear, or sadness, or anger. As cold as the mirror in her arms. 

_ "It's in Naraku's hands. Both life and death." _

His laugh, mirthless and dull, stretching like a void around her. The joy he’d always gotten, knowing her fear like it was his own. Cold tentacles, thick as a man’s arm, wrapping around her neck. _ Squeezing _ , hard enough to bruise. Screaming. 

Crying. 

Choking. 

_ “Kagura, you are still a part of me. Would you like to return to my flesh again?”  _

_ . _

_ . _

_ . _

She had been but an extra limb he could bend and twist back into place. A little puppet set free to wander about the earth, but dragged back by the strings whenever he wanted. 

At least then she’d known him. The dark places of his head and his heart, as much as they’d disgusted her, hadn’t been as much of a mystery as this person. This wretched woman, who was forcing her back into the same position that Kagura had died to escape...

She didn’t know the woman’s name. 

She didn’t give a fuck what it was. 

Because if she ever saw her again, Kagura was going to rip her head off. 


	17. Twelve

“Inuyasha and Kohaku are back!” Shippo tugged on Sango’s arm. She’d been pacing anxiously in front of Inuyasha’s house, every minute feeling like a hundred years.

The girls hadn’t wanted her to leave. As soon as Miroku had rushed in, she’d handed them and the baby off with a smile of false calm. 

_ “Everything’s going to be fine, girls. Right, Miroku?” _

_ “Of course! Now, where are my hugs? It’s been hours since I’ve gotten a really good hug from two really good little girls!” _

_ He hadn’t even taken a moment to question her; just fallen naturally into the position she needed him to take. No wonder he had her whole heart. _

Now, as soon as Kilala touched ground, Sango hurried over to their friends. “Inuyasha, we have a problem.” 

“Can’t get a moment of fucking peace,” he sighed. Suddenly, his shoulders tensed. “Is it Ka--” 

“Kagome’s fine. She’s been meditating to see if she can get a message from a god,” Shippo piped up. Inuyasha and Kohaku shared a confused expression as the latter dismounted. 

“Forget that.” The taijiya clapped her hands to grab their attention. “It’s Rin.” 

Inuyasha groaned; if he hadn't been a full-grown adult, with honor and reputation and dumb stuff like that, he might have even stomped his foot. “What happened?” 

“Emi and Keiko told me that she left them to go with some woman in the woods.” Sango took a deep breath; her heart felt like it still wasn’t beating properly, after the scare she’d had seeing her daughters standing alone in the field outside the village. Anything could have happened to them; how_ could _ Rin have left them alone? “She told them to go back to the village, but they didn’t remember where to get past the barrier.” 

“But…” Kohaku shuddered. “It can’t be the same woman! I saw her body in the pool.”

Inuyasha turned to Shippo, teeth bared. “This somethin’ like your little doppelganger trick?”

The fox shook his head wildly. “I wouldn’t play around with something like that! There must really have been two of them!” 

“So Sesshomaru is an even bigger idiot than I thought, lettin’ one run around to get vengeance for the other one.” Sighing heavily, Inuyasha tapped one claw against Tessaiga’s blade. “You should’ve seen his face when we showed him Kagura’s fan. Thought he was gonna stab me straight through the eye with it.” 

“Is there a chance that Rin went into the forest with Kagura?” Kohaku turned to his sister. His hand still gripped Kilala's neck fur, as if for comfort. “The twins have never seen her before, right?” 

“They might have caught a glimpse, the time that she was injured and we brought her to the village. But I don’t know if they would have recognized her.”

Shippo frowned. All this back and forth was making his head hurt. He just wanted everyone to be safe, and together. Especially Rin, who seemed so sad all the time when she used to smile like sunshine. “Why would Kagura take Rin into the forest, Inuyasha? She knew how much everyone would worry.” 

“Well, she used to do all kinds of shady shit, didn’t she?” Inuyasha snapped. “Regardless of what happened or why, we’ve gotta go get Rin back before something bad happens.” 

“I’ll stay, just in case she comes back to the village.” Sango turned to lock eyes with her brother, expression grim. “Or in case Lord Sesshomaru does.” 

A chill crept into the taijiya boy’s heart. If the demon lord found out that Rin had disappeared, especially if she’d been taken by the same goddess as before...despite the fact he’d never actually _ said _it, the human girl was probably the only thing that kept Lord Sesshomaru from razing the village to the ground every time he and Inuyasha bickered. 

Stuttering only a little, he tried to remain hopeful. “Rin might be found safe and sound before he even hears about it.” 

The hanyou shared a long look with Sango. Then, with bit-back swear, he scooped up Shippo so the kitsune could ride on his shoulder and gestured to Kohaku to follow them. 

“She can’t have gone far. Let’s go!” 

* * *

“Lord Sesshomaru, what should I do with this?” 

The Demon Lord raised an eyebrow at the fan in Jaken’s claw. Pathetic little thing. “I don’t care what you do with it.” 

“Ah, won’t Kagura be upset if we were to get rid of it. Serves her right, she’s always so rude to you, Lord Sesshomaru!” 

Why should he care if she got upset. If she didn’t want to lose her things, then she should take better care of them. Although, now that he looked at the weapon in his servant’s claw, it did seem odd that she would leave it behind. Much as he hated to give the hanyou any credit for his suspicions. 

Jaken screeched in fear as the Demon Lord ripped the fan from his grip. Unfolding the weapon, Sesshomaru realized with only the slightest twinge of interest that there was a pattern printed on the fabric. Perhaps it had been less cheap than he’d assumed, although that still left the question of where the taijiya boy had gotten it from. 

An odd scent clung to it, though.

Kagura’s he recognized easily.

Almost as obvious to him as Jaken’s.

Kohaku’s.

But there was something else, that tripped up his memory…

“Lord Sesshomaru?” Jaken tilted his head. “Shall I dispose of it for you?” 

He hadn’t been able to pick it up during their argument due to the gales of wind snatching his breath. But now, he could make it out. The same strange, otherworldly smell that had invaded _ his _lands in the past weeks. First in the form of five golden-skinned creatures, then that shaky storm of a woman in the woods. 

If they’d all been dead, he wouldn’t be smelling it now. 

He could already feel the tension settling in his back, tight as a bowstring. This should be a good thing; Mother had said he needed a deity to save Rin. But he wasn’t thinking of Rin. Rage masked every other sense in his mind -- once again, someone else felt themselves worthy to leverage power against _ his _ subjects, within the boundaries in _ his _lands. 

He refused to stand for it. 

* * *

“Kagome?” 

The priestess turned to the opening of the shrine. Sango stood there, a cup of water in her hands. Bowing gently to the statues that lined the walls, she stepped in to settle onto the mat beside Kagome. 

“Thank you,” the priestess sighed, downing half of the cup with a gulp. “Any news on Rin?”

“They haven’t returned, but the forest is so wide, it might take some time. What about you? You’ve been doing this for almost two days; are you feeling alright?” 

“Yeah. I’m making good progress, I think!” She gestured to the scroll in front of her, where she’d scribbled the words and images that had entered her mind during meditation. Sango peered at them with interest. 

“Kagome, why did you write ‘nashi’ so many times?” 

“For a while I thought it meant something important, but maybe I was just hungry.” With an embarrassed shrug, the priestess tapped a drawing on the scroll. “Doing this spirit connection stuff works up an appetite, you know?” 

“Yeah. Miroku always eats at least two bowls of rice after an exorcism.” Smiling gently despite her worries, Sango crossed both legs under her. “Are you allowed to have food in here?” 

“Honestly, I’m not sure. It’s not like the shrines from my time.” Kagome drew shapes in the air with her hands as she talked. “Typically there’s one really private sanctuary room for the deities to be housed in; then there’s a hall for offerings and sacred objects; and then another room that anybody can go into to worship in. And that's just Shinto temples, not even Buddhist ones...But here, there’s just this room and the extra space outside.” 

“Maybe because your villages are bigger, so the gods have to stay in the temples?” Sango said. “Here there’s more nature than there are people.” 

“That’s true.” Kagome sighed. “I wonder if the Feudal Era gods know what they’re missing.” 

“Lady Kaede said they aren’t bound to the same laws of time as we are.” Dark eyes watched Kagome finish draining the cup. “Have you seen any more of the white hall you talked about?” 

“No.” The priestess set the dish down by her side, stretching one leg out as she talked. “I feel like it must be important. I asked around, but nobody here has had a vision of anything like that before. The world of the gods is just as expansive as ours, apparently.” 

The two women sat in silence for a few moments. Then, Kagome leaned in to whisper, “Can I tell you a secret?” 

Sango pursed her lips. “If you’re okay with the possibility of a tricky god overhearing us.” 

Pointing at the cup in the group of offerings, Kagome said quietly, “I really want to try drinking from that and see if it helps.” 

She and Sango peered at the object curiously. It appeared so normal, and yet a deity had held it, even taken offerings from it. Who knew what else. 

“Hm. Makes sense, though it could be very dangerous.” Sango kept her expression neutral. 

“I know. A lot could go wrong.” Kagome’s hand inched towards the cup. 

“If Inuyasha were here, he’d definitely be against it.” 

At that, Kagome slapped her hand flat on the altar and rolled her eyes. “Ugh, he’s been so suffocating lately! Being pregnant isn’t that--” 

She stopped short with a gasp. “Oh, he’s going to kill me. When he gets back...”

Sango started to laugh. “Kagome, it’s okay.” 

“After all that fussing I did over not telling anybody…” She groaned, leaning heavily onto her friend’s shoulder. Sango patted her back, still chuckling. 

“Congratulations. You and Inuyasha will be great parents.” 

The priestess gave her a suspicious look. “Did you already know?” 

“No. But you’ve been back a few years, so I was expecting it could happen soon.” Sango paused for a moment, letting it stretch just too long. “Are you hiding it because you’re nervous about something?” 

Kagome leaned further into the other woman’s comforting touch. In an uncharacteristically small voice, she replied, “I don’t know.” 

Something dark and heavy sat beneath those three words; in the quiet of the shrine, it seemed to swell. Sango could sense it pressing up against the stone of the walls, licking at the surface of each statue, fighting with the candles for oxygen. It was too much to feel at that moment, with everything going on. And so with a single nod she decided to push it back. For now. 

“I won’t tell Miroku, then. Talk about it with us when you’re ready.” 

“Thank you.” Kagome reached out, her fingers dancing on the edge of the mysterious cup. “It really wouldn’t be smart, would it?”

“Not at all.” 

“Even though it might help us find Rin more quickly.” 

“Inuyasha can track her scent without it.” 

Kagome sighed. “She’s going to be okay, right?”

Sango patted her back soothingly. “I’d bet my soul that they’ll find her.” 

“Uh, you probably shouldn’t say stuff like that in here…”

* * *

Rin knew she’d made the right decision to send Emi and Keiko back. They were still little, hadn’t even started taijiya training with their parents. She would protect them from whatever it was that she’d gotten herself into. 

_ Maybe, if I try really hard, I can save everyone. _

“Where are we going?” She tried to sound calm, like there wasn’t a cold panic settling in the base of her throat. She could tell from the way the light hit the leaves that the woman was moving in the direction of the Western Lands’ border. It would only be a matter of time before she’d leave Lord Sesshomaru’s lands. 

“To find our own place.” The woman sighed heavily, pressing the jar closer to her chest as though she expected it to sink in past her ribs. The deeper they walked into the forest, the calmer she seemed to be. “Where we will be safe from them.” 

“You mean Lord Sesshomaru?” 

The woman seemed to deflate for a moment, before pulling herself up tall. A hardness that Rin didn’t recognize blazed in her eyes. Were her features settling more, lately? 

“Rin, can I tell you about where I come from? I don’t think we’ve ever discussed it.” 

“Okay.” 

“You have been discarded before, into a world where you were not wanted.” The words dripped from her mouth like water. “I understand that, having been thrown away myself.

I am one of the women born from my father god’s sword. Neither he, nor my mother god, care for me. Only their rivalry sustains them. She made me and my sisters from his item, and he my five brothers from hers. But they couldn’t decide whose creations were better. Us eight children were thrown from the realm of the divine without a care.”

A lump settled in Rin’s throat. She managed to speak around it. “I’m sorry.” 

“We were simply pieces in a game, not meant to be cherished or loved. With no humans to worship us, no place with the gods. Just this place full of monsters. My brothers…” She paused for a moment, only to shake her head. “Even my sister Nagisa was killed by the monster you call Lord Sesshomaru.” 

Rin’s stopped short, nearly tearing her foot in a patch of thorns. The woman took her arm and moved her aside to safety, as though Rin was a very young child again.

“Your sister was the one in the pool?”

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” The fingers on her arm felt like they were burning through the fabric. “Nagisa didn’t have her jar, so she couldn’t save herself. I had to hide, to protect my own.” 

Pointedly, she held the object out for Rin to see. The green glass glistened in the dappled light; despite her unease, Rin reached out to brace a hand on the smooth surface. Sharply, she pulled it away, looking up into the woman’s face, “Why did Lord Sesshomaru kill her?” 

“Does it matter?” The woman shook her head. “Maybe he enjoys hurting people.” 

_ Lord Sesshomaru wouldn’t hurt me, _ Rin wanted to say. But some cold little voice whispered deep in her chest whether or not that was actually true. Lord Sesshomaru had left her in the village. He never seemed to notice the pain that grew inside her each year; or if he did, then he never said anything about it. 

Logically Rin knew that without coming under his protection, she would have missed out so many wonderful friends and experiences. She wouldn’t be _ alive. _ But the deeper they waded into the forest, it was harder and harder to remember such moments. As though they were drifting down underneath churning waves, leaving only _ that _\--the burrowing, biting, burning thing Rin had told herself for years not to give voice to--floating on the surface of her thoughts. 

Plain reasoning broke through the haze of her mind; regardless of whether or not he loved her, Lord Sesshomaru would be very unhappy if she left his territory. She turned to look at the woman, who was still holding the jar out towards her as if it were a baby. Green glass shuddered before her eyes, and Rin jumped with a shriek. 

“Why is it moving?!” 

Pale fingers pressing the lid down firmly, the woman sighed, “I’ve never added to it before; it’s still adjusting to the increase in power. In time, it will get used to wielding her.”

“Her?” 

The woman gave her a gentle, patient smile. “The wind.” 

Rin tasted blood as she bit down on her tongue. 


	18. Thirteen

.

.

.

She didn’t have a form, but she was falling. The dark world around her was shaking, as though fit to fall apart. What was happening? 

Noise was breaking through the suffocating silence. If able to, she might have cried from relief. 

“Fox-fire!” 

“Get out of the way!” 

She still couldn’t see anything. Couldn’t move. Could only listen. 

“Don’t touch her, you bitch!” 

Were the voices going to stay, or would they leave too? Would she be left all alone? 

Did anyone even know she was here? 

“Kohaku, break that stupid thing before she kills us all with it!” 

“Don’t!” That was Rin. Screaming. “Kagura’s in there!” 

“What the fu--”

.

.

.

* * *

She came to with a gasp. Both hands scrabbled at her chest, relief flooding through her at finding the consistent pounding of her heart. Vague threads of memory -- an unfamiliar weight as she lifted her head, flesh and blood dragging down what had once been only air -- stuttered through her mind in a hazy déjà vu. After a moment she felt a long-silenced scream push its way out of her throat, thrilled to finally be heard. 

Claws clamped around her arms, digging slightly in through the folds of her sleeve to prick her skin. Something loomed over her, but her eyes wouldn’t focus after so long in the dark; she squeezed them shut. 

“Kagura?”

She thrashed, because she could move again. Screamed, because she had voice again. A pain shot through the side of her head as something sharp stung her ear; pain was good, it meant she could feel. It meant she was alive again. 

Arms locked around her, trapping her against a solid frame. Pinned, she struggled for a moment before relaxing in a slump, gasping for breath. 

“Don’t put me in the dark again.” She’d meant it as a threat, but to her horror it came out sounding more like a plea. “I won’t stay there.” 

Something cold pressed to her bleeding ear, sending a shudder up her spine. She didn’t open her eyes to see what it was; so many sensations were flooding her senses now, after being trapped in her wind form for an unknown amount of time. Distantly she tried to recall if being born had hurt this much. 

Or was this her resurrection? Had everything up to this point been a dream, fed by the insanity of existing but not being free? 

“Rest. You’re safe now.” 

Safety was a lie. She hadn’t been safe in her entire existence, except perhaps as the free wind roaming the earth. But now the idea of shifting back into her elemental form made her want to vomit. 

It wasn’t clear how long she knelt there, wrapped up in someone’s grip. Being in the jar had fucked up her sense of time so much that she couldn't tell when minutes ended and hours began.  Finally, after a while, Kagura felt the arms around her loosen. Sliding down, she cracked a single eye open. 

“Kagura?” 

Kohaku stood nearby, holding a wide-eyed Rin between himself and Kilala. She supposed it was a good protective strategy; she wouldn’t have wanted to be on the other end of the demon-cat’s teeth, much less that gaudy weapon. Instead of responding to his saying her name, she prodded the arms still around her with her nails--only to grip at them harder, startled, as Inuyasha leapt down from some tree above them. 

_ Perhaps he’s been chasing the bitch with the jar.  _

A paw poked her left side; she flinched. 

“I think she’s mostly okay.” Shippo backed away, holding an armful of gauze. He nearly tripped over Jaken in his haste to give her space; the imp was scrabbling for something in the grass, unconcerned, as though Kagura didn’t even exist. 

Which meant that there was only one person who could be holding her right now. 

“Stand.”

She didn’t want to stand. What she wanted to do was shove him away from her, maybe smack him so hard that the rest of his face turned the same color as those lines staining his cheeks. She wanted to cry, even -- but Kagura just let her weight settle until she was seated solidly on the ground. 

His arms were still around hers. _Bastard_. 

“She got away,” Inuyasha snarled, shouldering Tessaiga. “And before you say anything, it’s not like that scent is easy to follow, it’s blown all over the damn place!” 

_What happened to the jar_, Kagura wanted to ask. _Is it still in one piece, is there a chance that the woman will put me back inside_\--

Shippo seemed to read her mind, because he immediately started babbling. 

“It was a storm goddess, Kagura! She nearly blew all of us away--even Lord Sesshomaru got knocked over. But then Inuyasha cut through the air with his Wind Scar, and then Lord Sesshomaru’s whip hit the jar out of her hands!” The kitsune bounced back and forth, miming the actions with gusto. “There was a big crack in the side of it, and then it got really  _ really  _ windy, so none of us could see. But when it cleared, the goddess was gone and you were here!” 

Reaching up, Kagura prodded the gauze wrapped around her ear. Another piece had been taped to her cheek. She turned to the hanyou curiously. 

“You got scratched by that stupid spiky thing he wears on his shoulder.” Gesturing to his brother’s pauldron, Inuyasha added, “Other’n that, it doesn’t seem like there’s any physical damage.” 

A stupid thing to say; her head ached, her limbs felt like they’d fall off any second, and as fucking ridiculous as it sounded Kagura could have sworn her organs were too heavy to stay in their rightful places inside her body. Trying to sit up, she nearly fell back to the ground; only Sesshomaru’s arm kept her steady. 

Why was he still touching her? 

“Lord Sesshomaru, I found it!” Jaken ran up, nearly shoving her out of the way with his staff. He didn’t even get to finish his sentence before he was kicked back to the ground by his master’s boot. 

“Give it to me and return to the estate. I will arrive later.” 

“But, but, Lord Se--”

The glare in the daiyokai’s eyes must have been poisonous, for Jaken’s green pallor paled considerably. Kagura couldn’t find it in her to care. 

“Very well. Rin, you watch out next time!” The imp reached over Kohaku to brush the girl’s windswept bangs straight, in a surprising show of tenderness. “Lord Sesshomaru is staying to protect you.” 

Rin's eyes turned to her lord, bright and beseeching. 

"Lord Sesshomaru?” Gently removing Kohaku’s arm from its place in front of her, she took a step forward. “Could I have a moment with you, please?” 

Kagura might have laughed at the look Inuyasha gave the girl, if she’d had the temperament for it. Shippo tugged on the hanyou's red sleeve and stage-whispered, “Can we trust him if we leave them both alone?” 

“Lord Sesshomaru would never do anything to Rin, you silly little fox!” 

“Jaken, I ordered you to go.” Sesshomaru took a long, still moment. Kagura wondered what was keeping him; was it simply because he wouldn’t know what to do with a sobbing child, or that he didn’t want to leave her with his half-brother?

Finally the daiyokai turned to Kohaku; as if on some invisible signal, the taijiya walked over and reached out a hand to Kagura. 

“Come with us. We can take you back to the village.”

Why would she want to go there? It wasn’t like she was safe there. No matter where she went or what form she took, there would always be prisons and cages. 

Kohaku’s lips settled in a firm line. “You can’t stay in the forest with things as they are. And you’re in no condition to travel.” 

Unfortunately, that was an excellent point. Ignoring his hand, she stood, brushing her robes off. Her first steps were wobbly, but she managed by sheer force of will not to fall on her face in front of her former enemies.

“Rin, you and Sesshomaru come with us too; you can have your little chat outside the village wall. And I’m sending Kagome out  _ with her bow  _ when the sun sets.” Inuyasha glared at his half-brother. Under his breath, he added, “She’ll be mad enough that we left her at home for the fighting part...” 

“Kagome’s got really good aim, so you better not do anything bad!” Shippo added uselessly, jumping up and down to reinforce the hanyou’s point. 

Sesshomaru fixed both demons with a look that clearly communicated that he was struggling not to murder them both.  _ However _ , he thought as he stared at Kagura’s retreating back, the taijiya hovering as much as he was allowed to,  _ it would have been a waste to save all their lives just to end up taking them in the end.  _

* * *

Once it was just him and Rin alone outside the village barrier (though he wasn’t foolish enough to assume that nobody was watching), Sesshomaru chose to wait and see what the girl had to say. It would be dissatisfactory but not surprising if she demanded an explanation for the one deity’s death from him. 

Twisting her hands together, Rin stared at the ground before them. Perhaps she was ashamed of having been put in the position where her life had been in danger; or perhaps she was just figuring out how to express the depths of her disappointment in him.

Finally, she looked up. Her eyes were clearer than he’d seen in months. 

“Lord Sesshomaru, forgive me!” Racing forward, Rin buried her face into his robes. He was struck suddenly by how much taller she was now, than the last--only--time he’d held her. “I should have tried harder to be okay. Please don’t be upset…” 

What did she want from him? If this outburst was supposed to prompt an apology for those he had slain, Sesshomaru had no intentions to give one. Logically he knew that her previous disrespect of him, her  _ hiding things  _ from him, could not stand. But he wasn’t in the mood to upset her further. Rejection would only prolong her pain, and lessen the effectiveness of his goals. 

At his lack of a response, she kept talking, cheek pressed to his chest. “I tried to stay happy, but it keep feeling so bad…and then I looked at her, and she felt it too.”

She was talking about goddess. Which made sense; both of them had moved about in worlds that they had been unprepared to engage with. At least the storm deity had magic and power on her side; Rin was dependent on the protection of stronger beings. 

But her joy had never seemed to be part of that dependence. In their travels, no matter what she’d gone through, she always smiled. But now, that part of her was hiding somewhere. 

Hiding. Or maybe it was just gone. 

Once, Sesshomaru thought all it took to fix  _ that one mistake _ had been to bring her life back. 

Perhaps that wasn’t so. 

“I thought after you brought me back again, that everything would be okay. But something’s wrong. It’s so wrong, and I can’t fix it!” She swallowed heavily before continuing in a whisper. “And with her--I just didn’t want to be alone in it.” 

One hand hesitated before settling solidly on the back of her head. “Rin.” 

Clutching him tighter, the girl cried wordlessly. 

Sesshomaru resolved to stand there as long as it took for her to stop. He had no words of comfort, or gentleness; it was not in him, and Rin knew that. She’d  _ always  _ known that. 

But at least he wouldn’t leave her. 

By the time she calmed down, the sun was low enough to split the sky into shades of yellow and orange. Kagome appeared as promised. It was almost a relief by then-- how easily she took Rin by the arm, declaring her in need of rest. Although Sesshomaru felt the girl would be safer in his own fortress, privately he knew that her emotional state was better addressed by the villagers’ temperaments than his own. 

That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to keep an eye on her for the time being, and Kagura as well. Luckily, when he’d demanded the wind sorceress sit with him on the roof of his half-brother’s house, where he could easily hear everything going on below, she hadn’t argued. 

She hadn’t said anything at all since coming out of the jar. 

“Hey,” Shippo said from the main room, resting both arms on the sill of the open window. “Do you think that lady will come back for Rin? She _is _sort of a goddess, and they don’t seem like they’re good at sharing.” 

“She’s lucky she’s a goddess, or else she’d be dead after what she did. And she better leave Rin alone,” Inuyasha snapped. Tilting Tessaiga to catch the light, he glared at his own reflection in the blade’s surface.

“She’s led a deeply traumatized life.” Miroku finished lighting the last of the room’s candles with a surprisingly steady hand. Kagome watched him from her position by the door, her mouth a firm line. “She was thrown into a world where she didn’t belong, and then watched her siblings perish. It would be enough to drive any creature mad.” 

“Feh. So what; we’ve  _ all  _ dealt with a lotta shit, and you don’t see me running around sticking people in jars.” 

“She seemed really sad.” Shippo sighed. “If only she’d come to the village. We’ve helped plenty of people find peace before. Maybe we could build her a hokora, or something.” 

From his spying place, Sesshomaru frowned. Peace was a foolish fairy tale for children; he’d thought that he’d procured it for Rin, and look what she had been dealing with all this time. Not to mention the wind witch, still crouched motionless on the edge of the roof. 

At one time she had asked him to be her protector against Naraku. He had rejected her, as such things carried no importance for him. 

Then, she had perished. 

Now, he  _ had  _ lowered himself to such things, and everyone else seemed to believe it was foolish. What was the point of listening to less intelligent creatures, if they refused to agree no matter what his decision? 

Below, Shippo bounced across the room to address the shrieking tea kettle. Carefully he poured a steaming cup of tea, which he then hurried over to Kagome. “Here, Kagome! This will help your stomach feel better!” 

She smiled gratefully and patted his head. He beamed from her attention, before turning back to the monk. “Will doing the ritual help her, Miroku?” 

“I certainly hope so.” Settling into a lotus position in front of the open window, Miroku beckoned the kitsune over. “If we continue to use brute force against her, it will only reinforce her stress, and she will continue to harm our friends. This ritual will instead offer her a way to process the pain she’s experienced, so that she may leave us and ascend to the immortal plane of existence.” 

“Where did you learn how to do something like that?” Kagome’s face was drawn, thinking about Kikyo.  _ Something like that might have helped her.  _

“Monk Mushin came across some texts buried in the old temple in his preparations to move here. I only came across this ritual when he was using the scrolls as a napkin, after the twins’ latest food fight.” Chuckling despite himself, he leaned back towards the window. “It appears that it is not a common ritual; most humans seek to expel spiritual creatures, instead of addressing their reasons for haunting an area.” 

Inuyasha muttered something incomprehensible. 

“I guess she  _ is _ haunting us, even though she’s alive.” Leaning against the wall, Kagome thought of Rin, sleeping in the room next door.  _ Thank goodness Kilala is with her, in case she has any nightmares.  _ “Is meditating part of the ritual?” 

“Hm?” Miroku blinked for a moment. “Oh, I’m not going to meditate tonight. I’m trying to eavesdrop on the couple above us.” 

Indeed, Sesshomaru had stopped listening in on their conversation, because Kagura now spoke. Her voice was gravelly, perhaps from the force of her earlier screams, or perhaps from a few days’ misuse. 

“She tainted my freedom.” The effort of keeping still burned in her shoulders. “She used her pain to scar me and Rin. We had nothing to do with her burdens, and she used them against us.”

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at her. “Your captivity was temporary. You have power, and no master to abuse it. Do not compare yourself to Rin.” 

Her glare was sharp as flint; a lesser creature might have shuddered. “Am I supposed to be used to it now, then?” 

“You choose to misunderstand me.” The daiyokai didn’t see why she was bothering to talk if it was just wasted on such a conversation. “If you wish to express anger, then direct it towards the deity who restrained you. Locate and destroy her--” 

“Because that tactic worked so well for you, right?” Her rolled eyes inflamed a sense of indignation in his chest; somehow, she seemed quite capable in goading him into childish arguments. 

“You’ve survived her power; take the opportunity to ensure she won’t do it again. Don’t expect it of  _ me;  _ I have received enough disrespect for taking my own--”

Her hand slammed flat against the roof-top, hard enough to bruise. “I never asked you to do that! All I want is to be left the fuck  _ alone! _ ”

“We all saw how Sesshomaru was acting towards her earlier,” Kagome said in a thoughtful voice, laying her bow across her lap. A quiver of arrows were neatly collected by her feet, and she prodded the pieces with her toe as she continued. “Do you think--”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Inuyasha made a retching noise. “I’m begging ya.” 

“Don’t make that sound, or I’m going to--” she pressed a hand to her mouth, face paling slightly. Her husband wrung his hands. 

“Dammit, Kagome, you shouldn’t be runnin’ around like this! Just go to Sango and Miroku’s place so you can take it easy!” 

“I told you to stop smothering me!” She swallowed heavily and waved a finger in his face. “I’m going to help protect Rin, okay? Just because I’m--er,  _ ill _ doesn’t mean I’m helpless!” 

“No one’s callin’ you helpless, we--”

“ _ Ahem.”  _

The two turned to stare at Miroku and Shippo, who were crouched beneath the window. Gesturing upwards, Miroku hissed, “We’re trying to listen!” 

“What is the use of autonomy if you choose to waste away? You’re no better than you were, hiding in the shadows like a rat and begging everyone else to rescue you.” 

“Oh, I’m the coward? You crawled home to Mama so she could revive your human pet for you, and then dumped her on your hated half-brother to raise. Then again, it’s probably for the best, since it would take a creature with a heart to bother to understand what she’s been through.” Scarlet eyes lifted to stare hatefully into the sky. “Or what I’ve been through.” 

“Geez, they’re worse than Inuyasha and Kagome.” Shippo shook his head. Miroku stifled a laugh for the sake of the bitter-faced hanyou. 

“You blame me for not falling victim to a pathetic weakness.” Crushing Bakusaiga’s hilt in his grip, Sesshomaru wondered why the blasted sword refused to let him wield her against the wind witch. “Have you already forgotten that I was the one who freed you?” 

“You  _ told  _ me you’d handled it already, and believing you led to my capture in the first place. So don’t expect any gratitude from me.” A cruel laugh broke from her lips. “I don’t need you to take care of me, give me things, keep an eye on me--I never asked you for any of it! I remember all too well what happens when someone asks you for help. You’re  _ useless _ .” 

Never mind the sword. He had claws; he wasn’t above using them. 

She smelled the poison leaking from his fingertips onto the rooftop and scoffed. “Killing me won’t salvage your stupid pride, Sesshomaru.” 

“My pride remains intact. It is your impudence that begs punishment,” he snarled. The marks on his face burned from the mixing of poison and yokai in his veins. 

“If you ‘punish’ anybody on my roof, I’m gonna come up there and throttle ya!” Inuyasha shouted, waving one fist out the window. “I’ve dealt with enough of this shit for one day!” 

Sesshomaru wouldn’t recall the curses he responded with; only that when the haze of violence cleared in his vision, Kagura had turned her back on him. With an infuriated roar, he ripped Bakusaiga from her scabbard and slammed the hilt against the roof, causing a sizeable chunk of tile to fall to the garden below. 

Shippo and Miroku shrieked in unison, the fox leaping into the monk’s arms. Kagome scrambled to keep her thoroughly-pissed-off husband from climbing out the window and onto the roof to challenge the Western Lord. 

Kagura felt something land next to her with a sharp  _ crack.  _ Then Sesshomaru was gone, an angry streak of white against the black sky. His aura remained for a few moments after he’d disappeared into the dark, bleeding rubescent on the edges of her vision. 

She took a shallow breath. Her fingers danced across the roof tiles, until they landed on a smooth column of demon bone and cloth. 

The fan Kohaku had given her. 

Pressing it to her chest, Kagura closed her eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A. Can y'all tell that I don't like writing physical-fighting scenes yet and will take as much opportunity as I can to avoid it? 
> 
> B. Thank you for everyone who's commented, given kudos, and read this far. I really am pleasantly surprised that so many people like this work. Hope I continue to meet expectations. 
> 
> C. I have backstory/headcanons regarding the characters' lives in the five years before this point (mostly dealing with their collective traumas) that probably will never make it into the fic. Would people be interested in me posting those? Let me know in the comments pls!


	19. Fourteen

“Well.” Standing, Miroku cracked his neck. “I must get home to my beloved Sango. Shippo, perhaps you should come with me, and vouch that my lateness is due to nothing untoward.” 

“You’re probably right!” Shippo turned to give Kagome a goodbye hug, missing the horrified gasp the monk gave. 

“That was a joke!” He turned to Inuyasha, wringing his hands. “You know that it’s been years since I--Sango is my--and I would never--” 

The hanyou shrugged. “Can’t hurt to have an alibi.” 

Kagome somehow managed to keep her giggles in until their friends had left. “I hope Sango pretends to be suspicious just to mess with him.”

“She shouldn’t. He’ll start trying to ‘_ convince’ _her she’s the only one, n’then boom! Baby number four.” 

“Inuyasha!” Kagome waved her hand to hush him, although her giggles grew louder. 

“Speaking of babies…” He shuffled closer, folding his arms inside the sleeves of his haori. “How are you feeling?” At her annoyed look, he sighed, “Sorry. I just want things to be okay.”

“They will be.” Her expression softened, and she knew what else it was that he chose not to say. “Really. I’m fine.” 

It had been a couple of years since she’d been back home, but she knew he still had a lot of anxiety over something bad happening to her. There was no going back through the well if she got injured this time; no magic jewel to wish her back to safety if, gods forbid, she died. He’d lost her for three years, and in the two that she’d been back they hadn’t spent more than a couple of nights apart.

Even in the winter, when Shippo had wormed his way into staying with them, he'd slept right outside her door. _Just in case_\--that was what he always would huff, whenever she berated him for staying up so late "on watch". When he'd push and push her to take medicine for what was a simple cold. When he triple-checked that there were no rogue demon scents in the area. When he'd first asked her to get married, and then was still giving her a chance to back out up until the last possible moment, promising he'd always be by her side regardless. 

_ Just in case. _

Not that he ever liked to talk about it. 

“I hope Rin’s going to be okay,” she said, moving to a safer subject. “It’s sad to see her struggling so much. Talking with Lord Sesshomaru helped, I think. But I wish I knew what else to do for her.” 

Inuyasha was quiet for a long moment. Finally he said, “When I was a kid, I saw my mother save some kid that stepped on a wasp nest. I don’t remember what we were doing, or how she spotted him first. But in a second, she’d let my hand go and ran over to grab him instead. Got stung pretty bad, obviously.”

Kagome tilted her head, confused, but didn’t interrupt him. 

“Afterwards, I was helping her put something on the welts. They covered half of her face, her arm--I asked her if they hurt. She said she hadn’t even felt it until we got home.” A quiet laugh slipped in between his words. “I thought that was crazy. How could a human woman not feel a dozen wasp stings? Then she told me that when you’re in the middle of danger, you’re too busy trying to survive to always feel things as they happen. It’s only when you’re safe that you feel the worst of the pain.”

Silence stretched in the room, until Kagome broke it by clapping both hands together. “Inuyasha, that was so wise!”

“What’re you on about,” he muttered, blushing. “It’s just a story. Probably didn’t even help.” 

“No, it makes perfect sense! Rin’s been in some kind of danger for so much of her life, so she never really got to feel the sting of things. And all this time, instead of letting herself feel the pain, she’s just been blaming herself for being unhappy.” The priestess leaned her head on her husband’s shoulder. “You’re going to be such a good father.” 

“Kagome.” Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he tried in vain to hide how much that comment had touched him. “Yaknow...you always make all the stuff that hurts feel better.” 

“Same to you.” Snuggling in, she added, “We’re pretty lucky to have each other.” 

“Yeah.” Thinking back on Rin, he wondered if having his brother constantly show up only to ditch again was worsening her ability to get better. Yet another reason for him to despise the bastard. 

“It makes me wonder about people like Kagura. She acts like she’s fine being completely independent, but it can’t be easy not to have anyone by your side when you’re struggling.” Kagome couldn’t imagine not having her friends to talk to, whenever things seemed unbearable. It wasn’t always just about the past, either -- though she tried not to think about it too much, the idea of giving birth in the feudal era without any way to let her mother (or Sota, or Grandpa) know about it made her heart break in half. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she continued, “I hope she knows we’re here for help. Even Sesshomaru is there for her, even if he’s bad at showing it.”

Her husband’s ears flattened. “Kagome...” 

“I know you don’t like talking about it, but I really think there’s something between them.” Nudging him gently with her elbow, she joked, “If he courts her properly, then we’ll have more people we can task for babysitting.” 

“Like I would ever let either of those assholes within a hundred feet of our kid.” Sniffing, he snapped, “He won’t see it as family, and Kagura isn’t our friend.” 

“She’s not _ not _a friend. With Naraku gone, she doesn’t have a reason to hurt anybody. And Sesshomaru will always be a part of our lives as long as Rin is.” 

“Whatever.” His hand came up to chuck her chin. “Come on, it’s been a long day. We both need to get some rest.” 

Any other time she would have complained and made him stop babying her; tonight, Kagome only raised her arms and let him carry her to bed. 

* * *

He didn’t speak to Jaken or the servants after returning to the estate. Instead, Sesshomaru let the thunderous slam of his bedroom door imply his mood. The memory of his mother’s tinkling laugh from some childhood incident -- _ What a temper, no wonder your father worries -- _rang in his ears. He flung Tensaiga across the room in response. 

Even she was giving him the silent treatment. 

So he was supposed to treat Kagura like glass, just because she’d had a difficult time? What did she expect? It wasn’t as though he was unaffected; this whole debacle had in fact been causing him incredible amounts of unwanted stress. And if she was going to be harsh and unforgiving, then she should expect the same treatment in return. 

Pain pricked the front of his skull, just above the half-moon mark on his forehead. It had been humiliating, to worry. To _not_ _know _whether or not she had been alive, much less safe. It was not like him at all to care about such pointless things. But when she’d reformed from the winds of the jar, thrashing around in his grip, Sesshomaru had felt unmistakably relieved that she wasn’t lost again. 

Moonlight creased the sky through the window. He drew the curtains roughly, plunging the room into darkness. The usual feeling of impenetrability and unchecked power that wreathed him had turned suffocating, perhaps even hollow. 

So many arguments -- on the roof, in the field, in the forest -- and always, he acted moments from harming her. _ Killing _ her. Anytime he wanted, he could kill her. But the thing he couldn’t seem to do was keep more harm from befalling her.

Neither had he done so for Rin. 

The mattress creaked sorrowfully as he lay his full weight on it. The remains of his self-control were spent laying Bakusaiga on the floor with care. By the wall, Tensaiga remained coldly silent. 

_ Rin _ . The girl had pressed her face to him and cried, seeking comfort shamelessly. He had not been capable of it, or at least not what the ragtag team of humans, hanyou, and fox perceived it to amount to. She’d left him calm, but not _ better _. 

It was impossible for Sesshomaru to determine if it was his still-high temper or the weather making the room burn around him. Tearing the armor and belt from his robe, his thoughts stung with a new realization. 

Kagura would never lower herself to cry for compassion the way Rin had. 

Wherever she was now, if she cried, then it was alone. Rin lay in a warm room, surrounded by protectors, being worried after -- even by him, who had burdened himself with wondering what could be wrong with her for months. Kagura, on the other hand, simply prodded him with rude words and unearned familiarity until he lashed out; then she would pretend that she had no interest in his attention. 

_ What if she’d made herself smaller, or cried for me like Rin? What if she’d risked her pride to ask directly for what she wanted from me? Would I have bothered to notice, or would my reactions have remained unchanged? _

_ Perhaps she sees no path to receive what it is she truly wants from me. _

_ I rejected the opportunity to be her rescuer in the past. That may be all she expects from me now. So much so, that even when the evidence directly contradicts her, she will refuse to trust in it. _

_ So what in the seven hells am I supposed to do? _

* * *

“Would you like a blanket?” 

Kagura peered down from the slope of the roof into the courtyard below. Kohaku stood there, looking up at her. For the first time since she’d known him, he wasn’t wearing a slayer outfit. Instead, the teenager was wrapped in dark blue robes that she supposed were more comfortable to sleep in. It gave him a look oddly akin to his brother-in-law. 

“If you would like to stay up there, Kagome says you’re welcome to. However, if you’d like to sleep in a room, then there are several in the house.” 

She swallowed before answering in a still hoarse voice. “I suppose it’d be easier for everyone to keep an eye on me if I came down?”

He shook his head. “Kagome and Inuyasha went to bed already; they sleep in the back of the house, so no one would be around to spy on you.” 

Odd. Why would the hanyou keep a home so large if he was going to take up such little space in it?

As if reading her mind, Kohaku said, “Technically it used to be the town inn. Before Kagome came back, Inuyasha didn’t stay the night in the village at all except right after the twins were born. Now they have visitors come from out of town pretty much every season, especially for the herb mixtures Kagome makes herself. So the two of them maintain the house all year.”

Kagura didn’t bother to commit such things to memory. “Whatever. I’m fine up here.” 

“Oh.” He tilted his head, then disappeared back into the house. She thought that was the end of it. But only a few moments later, there was a shuffling, a grunt, and suddenly the boy was clambering onto the rooftop. 

“You could hurt yourself,” she said casually. _ Especially if we were on bad terms--my winds could blow him right back down into the courtyard. _

With great effort, he swung himself over the drainpipe. “May I join you?” 

“If you like.” Unfolding the fan in her grasp, she let it drift over her expression. “Since you’ve already put in the effort.” 

He settled beside her, following her gaze up to the stars. Bright and unashamed, they burned in the stretch of black. She felt strangely jealous of them, in their assurity. They’d be there for always, no matter what stream of time that came and went. In this world, or any other. 

Perhaps, with the long sigh that passed his lips, Kohaku felt it too. 

“Kagura, do you know what happened when Lord Sesshomaru and I were in the Underworld?” 

“Yeah, yeah. He was trying to wield the Meidō Zangetsuha, Rin died, Inuyasha ended up with the technique, yadda yadda.” At the boy’s curious expression, she sighed, “People talked a lot about it. I traveled around for a while, as the wind of course. So I picked up bits and pieces of what happened in the final months with Naraku.” 

Kohaku considered that a moment, then nodded. “Well, there are parts of the story that don’t really make it into every version.” 

_ Well, not all parts are interesting to everyone who hears it. _ She bit back the response just in time. 

“The Underworld was...less scary than I’d thought it’d be. I guess after Naraku, anything else kind of can’t compete. Anyway, Rin and I got pulled in. Lord Sesshomaru came to rescue us; I was fine because of the shard, but Rin was gone.” Kohaku leaned both hands against the rooftop. In the dark, parts of his outfit seemed to meld into the sky, turning his eyes into stars. He wrestled with something for a moment, before adding, “It’s the only time I ever saw him cry.” 

Kagura’s neck snapped in his direction. “He did _ what?” _

“Don’t tell him I told you.” The boy crouched forward, wrapping both arms around his knees. “It was so dark, and there were so many souls surrounding us. He could have just left them there. But instead he used Tensaiga to save them, too. When we got back to this world, his mother used the Meido stone to revive Rin.”

He glanced over at the quiet s_ hick, shick _ to see Kagura closing and opening her fan. Lines creased her brow. _ Schick, shick. Shick. _

Finally, she took a ragged breath. “So what’s your point, then?”

“I’ve just been thinking about it a lot lately. With everything going on with Rin, and the goddess. And with you, too.” 

She frowned at him; the neutral expression she received in response was too familiar. It sparked memories of his face when it was younger, smooth with a lack of memory. Tainted with blood. With another loud _ shick _ of her fan, she forced the thoughts away. 

“I guess the point of it is that when you let yourself care about people, then things that seemed so final become a lot less certain.” Sliding to the edge of the roof, he added more quietly, “Goodnight, Kagura.” 

It wasn’t until he’d been gone for a long while until she thought up a retort.

_ What if the things that you thought were certain are what’s always protected you before? If caring about others only leads to the worst of all finality? _

_ Death wasn’t the end for me; o _ _ nly because it made me free. _

_ But there’s no way to know if it _ ** _will_ ** _ be final next time. _

_ I can't risk it. _

_ I can’t spend my life chasing what led there before. _


	20. Fifteen

Breakfast with Kagome and Inuyasha was awkward, Rin thought, but also kind of nice. She didn’t get a chance to see the hanyou and priestess interact very often. At least not without everyone else around. 

Inuyasha had been especially careful with Kagome lately, and that morning was no exception. The priestess’s breakfast porridge had been prepared before she and Rin had even been awake, and he’d mixed in a healthy helping of anti-nausea herbs. Rin wondered with a twinge of guilt if she was partially at fault for that. Perhaps all the recent trouble was putting so much stress on Kagome that it was making her sick. 

She left as soon as her bowl was clean with an overly cheerful goodbye. The adults’ eyes met behind her back with mutual concern. Someone would probably be following her around all day...

Both feet started towards the village wall. Was it from habit, or perhaps something more sinister? Panicking, she turned and made a sudden decision to go towards the shrine instead. 

The coolness of the stones beneath Rin’s hands as she stepped through felt immediately soothing; Miroku was already seated before the altar, meditating. Maybe he chose to get up so early on purpose--finding peace to strengthen him for the rest of the day. She made a mental note to try it out tomorrow and see if it worked for her, too. 

“Hello.” Her voice hushed a bit. This was, after all, a holy kind of place, even though as far as Rin was aware there were no strict rules about shouting. “Can I join you?” 

“Of course.” His posture didn’t change; for a minute she wasn’t sure if the words had actually passed his lips. Coming into the space, she settled cross-legged beside him. 

“I’m sorry for leaving Keiko and Emi.” Rin bowed her head. “I didn’t know what she wanted; I guess I thought it’d be safer for them outside of the woods, even by themselves.”

Miroku spoke without opening his eyes. “I understand why you felt that way, Rin. Still, I hope that this situation will not happen again. Sango and I were quite worried.” 

She bowed again. “I’m sorry.” 

After a moment, he sighed and relaxed. A hand came up to pat the top of her head. “We forgive you. No one got hurt. And now, there are more pressing things to be concerned over.” 

“The goddess, right?” 

Miroku hummed in affirmation. Rin turned her attention to the altar cluttered with offerings. Besides the cup, jar lid, and the shroud, Kaede and Shippo had added clumps of bush clover and green tangerines as edible offerings. Rin smiled a bit as she spied a sprig of bellflowers, too, which the old priestess always seemed to have handy. 

“What if the ritual doesn’t work, and the other gods just send her back again?” 

Miroku thought for a long moment. “I think that it will still help her. Even if she is not allowed to access the immortal realm, then at the very least she could reside in our world with more peace. She cannot continue to use her pain to harm others.” 

With a heavy sigh, Rin reached over to touch the lid. The clay felt cool under her fingers; she recalled the way the jar had shaken with Kagura inside and felt nauseous. “I’m--” 

“No need to keep apologizing. We’re just glad you’re safe now.” The monk smiled at her gently. “I only wish you had been more confident that you could share your burdens with us. But the difficulties of the past don’t follow an easy time-line for moving on, do they?” 

“No.” Guilt still burned in her stomach, but she exhaled slowly and tried to ignore it. “Do you think Lady Kagura will be okay?”

One of the candles on the shrine winked; Miroku cupped a hand around it until the flame burned strong again. “Kagura has seen worse things.” 

_ But she didn’t survive them, that time. _

“And she has others by her side now, if she wants them. Would you say that helps, Rin?” 

Not even hesitating a moment, she nodded. Without all her friends, she might never have come out of the forest. Now that she thought about it, she had experienced so many happy moments over the past few years. Despite the darker feelings that had never left her, she’d seen babies born, talents grow, harvests brought in, families expand. She had _ friends _. 

Even though it was hard to remind herself of those things sometimes, it was still true. 

“Having other people helps more than anything else.” 

He smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. “Then think of this ritual as us telling the goddess that we are by her side. Regardless of what happens, we see what she has been through and hope that she finds her place in the world. Just as you, and Kagura, and everyone else will find their place.” 

Rin found herself offering him a small smile. “Everyone always talks about how you’re a fake. But really, you say a lot of really wise things.” 

His face fell. “Do they really talk about it all that often…”

* * *

“Right here, Lord Sesshomaru!” 

The daiyokai stopped in the spot where Jaken was gesturing with his staff. The ashes of the creatures they’d defeated remained, despite the time that had passed. He wasn’t aware if it was common for the earth to reject divine flesh, or if it was perhaps a side effect of being expelled from the realm of gods. 

Not that it mattered, in the long run of things. 

With a sigh, he drew Tensaiga from her place at his side. “Jaken, step back.” 

“Lord Sesshomaru, what are you planning to--”

Jaken’s words ended in a gasp as the ashes began to reform. Quickly he dove to safety at his master’s side. 

With a groan, the fire creature sat up from the grass. Rivers of bright orange and gold dripped from where his eyes would be. He looked up at Sesshomaru in fear and wonder. 

“What did you do to me?” 

_Hm._ _So it even works on a god. _

Jaken puffed up his chest and shouted at the creature, “Name yourself, then!” 

“I’m...” The features of his rocky face crumpled inwards as he inhaled, then exhaled. It was as if he was unfamiliar with the act of breathing. “Rekka...”

Sesshomaru slid Tensaiga back into her scabbard to hush her chattering. “Tell me where gods go when they perish.” 

Jaken and Rekka both looked at him in confusion. After a moment, the creature said, “Somewhere else. Cold. Dark. But so many souls…”

_ So all beings go to the Underworld. _

_ Interesting. _

A hand slammed the ground, singing the grass with an audible hiss. “You killed my brothers. My sister. We did nothing to--”

“Your sister attacked a resident of my woods.” Sesshomaru refused to visibly react. Jaken waved a claw at the creature and barked, “And you entered Lord Sesshomaru’s lands without requesting permission!” 

“We didn’t _ enter _. None of us had a choice.” Smoke curled into the air as Rekka talked faster. “Mother and Father abandoned us here. Nagisa...she was violent because she was scared. What is your excuse?”

He had not dragged this creature back to the land of the living to be lectured. A low growl settled in Sesshomaru’s throat as he spat out the carefully chosen words. 

“There is a village south of the forest where your sister was slain. There you will reside. You will not roam these lands again.” 

Rekka shook his head. The lava creasing his cheeks increased in volume, spilling onto the grass at Sesshomaru’s feet. “One cannot take back every action that he regrets.” 

In a bright flash of light, he burst into flames. Jaken ducked behind Sesshomaru to avoid the sparks. When the spots left the daiyokai’s eyes, a furiously burning fire was all that remained of the being. 

“Lord Sesshomaru, what should we do?”

He stared into the fire for a long moment. Then he turned to his servant. “Do you have a way to carry that with us?” 

“Carry it?” The imp scratched his head. “Well, I suppose I could return to the estate for a lantern. Or perhaps a bucket of coal...but what would you want with it?”

“I refuse to allow it to remain in my fields. The half-breed’s village can have it.” Turning away from the heat, he added almost as an afterthought, “Along with the others.”

“The others? But surely you don’t mean...Lord Sesshomaru!” With a groan, Jaken looked back and forth between the fire and his master. “Shouldn’t we be focusing on helping Rin?” 

“We are helping Rin.” It wasn’t the best plan. But he didn’t have another choice -- _ pleading _anyone to help his ward was out of the question. As was making a formal apology for something that he wasn’t sorry for. The little Team of the Self-Righteous was already planning a ritual for the storm goddess; there was no reason not to bring the other deities he’d destroyed into it. Privately, Sesshomaru figured that such an approach garnered better odds that one or two would take pity on Rin’s plight. 

Especially now that they knew what being in the Underworld was like...so perhaps, in a way, he had actually bettered the odds. 

Though if the wind sorceress was around, he knew she would waste every breath left in her body disagreeing. 

* * *

“Is someone like Kagura even allowed in the shrine?” Kagome muttered out of the side of her mouth. “She doesn’t exactly exude pure spiritual energy.” 

Miroku glanced over his shoulder at the wind witch before muttering back, “She can’t go back in the forest, and if she’s in the same room as Sesshomaru then who knows what they’ll get into. Besides, this could end up being healing for her, don’t you think?” 

Kagome thought for a moment, then nodded. 

“So how this does work if she has a corporeal form?” The lazy vacillation of her fan was partly to look bored and partly to be self-soothing. Kagura stifled a yawn. “It’s not exactly like normal praying, is it?”

“Not particularly.” Adjusting the offerings splayed on the altar before him, Miroku gestured to Kagome; she handed him the shroud, which he draped carefully over the pieces of fruit and flowers. “Being a goddess, although she is contained within a physical form she would be able to connect with humans through dreams or trances. Kagome and I will attempt to reach her. This way, we can attempt to enact the healing ritual without endangering anyone, since her powers will not be able to physically harm us beyond perhaps a severe headache.” 

“Huh.” She wondered if he actually knew any of this for sure, or if he was just good at making up solutions. 

“She’s never come into contact with either of us, so there’s a good chance she won’t reject our attempts at spiritual connection.” With that, Miroku and Kagome settled in mirror positions on the floor, cross-legged. Kagura sighed heavily and leaned against the door. Hopefully this wouldn’t take long. 

After about twenty minutes, still nothing. She was only prevented from screaming in frustration when the monk slid both eyes open and said with practiced cheer, “Perhaps we should take a break.”

While Kagome stepped out to get some tea for her once-again upset stomach (how no one else had guessed her little problem was absurd), Kagura took another chance to interrogate the monk. “What if she refuses to talk to you? In my experience, gods tend to keep to themselves unless they want something.” 

He gave her a patient smile that she deeply disliked. “It does not appear that she’s kept to herself so far.”

“That doesn’t mean she’ll care to involve _ you _. You should have let Rin stay. Since she seems to be obsessed with her, it’s more likely she’d talk to--”

“We think that dealing with the goddess is making Rin’s depression worse,” the monk interrupted, expression hardening. “We want to fix this without further involving her.” 

“Alright, alright, don’t bite my head off.” Luckily, at that moment Kagome returned with a kettle of tea, some cups, and a smile that the wind witch supposed smoothed over many inter-village squabbles. 

“Ah, now we can--wait.” Miroku raised an eyebrow at the priestess. “Why are you filling the god’s cup?” 

“Well, if our goal is to connect to the goddess’ innate spirit...maybe my powers will be stronger if we use her things.” Setting the kettle aside, she waved one hand over the steam wafting from the cup. 

“Kagome,” Miroku said very calmly. “If you drink that and something happens to you, then Inuyasha will hold me accountable. Do you want my beautiful, precious children to grow up without a father?”

Kagome leaned away from him so he couldn’t reach the cup. “Shippo said it was a good--”

“Oh, damn it all,” snapped Kagura. Snatching the cup from Kagome’s grasp, she took a long drag from it. If that bitch goddess thought she was going to disappear into the shadows after what she’d done, then she had messed with the wrong sorceress.

The last thing she saw was the priestess’s stunned face before something bright blinded her. 

* * *

_ Oh, fuck. Tell me I’m not stuck again-- _

She wiggled her fingers, then her toes. She could see, and hear, and smell. 

_ Oh, thank the gods -- wait, no, screw them! This is their fault in the first place. _

The empty halls were whiter than any she’d ever seen. No one on earth would use such things; they’d be massively impractical to keep clean. Which meant this had to be the divine realm. 

Kagura braced herself on a nearby pillar (huge, reaching into an impossibly tall ceiling-sky) and tried to reason out whether this was just in her head, or if she had actually been transported somewhere. Either way, she was in the belly of some dangerous beast.

_ I have to be smart about this. _

A hand appeared, as suddenly as the shadows shielding the rest of the being it was attached to, and pulled her behind the pillar. 

“Girl.” Holding her arm was a young woman who appeared to be around Rin's age, clothed in white servant’s robes. Unlike the other deities Kagura had encountered, this one’s features were quite solidly and firmly placed. The sleeves of her robe were rolled up high to showcase thick arms veined with rivers that burned blue, then purple, then orange as they climbed to her shoulders. “You shouldn’t have come back.”

“I’ve never been here before, thank you very much,” Kagura snapped. She wrenched her arm free. “And I’m older than you, so don’t call me girl.”

“I can’t call you your name,” the teenager whispered. “He never gave you one.” 

Silly brat; she couldn't have been talking about Naraku. Before Kagura could retort, more words rushed from the girl’s lips, as if she couldn’t bear to hold them in. 

“You must have used the cup to come back here.” She shook her head slowly. “Like crawling back into your mother’s womb...” 

Kagura swallowed back both the urge to retch at such disgusting imagery and the snarky response that she had never _ actually _ been born from any woman’s womb, either time she’d entered the world. “Whatever. Can you help me find the crazy lady who trapped me in a jar?” 

“In a…” Gold eyes widened. “Which one was it?”

“The one Sesshomaru didn’t kill. Her name never came up.” Kagura narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “You’re clearly of a similar kind. Why are you up here, while they’re causing all kinds of fucking havoc down there?” _ Well, actually, _ she thought to herself, _ Sesshomaru and Rin are the ones causing havoc... _

_ Not that this one needs to know that. _

The hardness that crossed the pale little face was so recognizably human, it was almost surprising. “I am among the chosen. Where else would I be?” Then the teenager tilted her head and asked, “What do you want?” 

It was a strange question, devoid of a lot of necessary context. But something in Kagura’s heart seemed to twist and ache as she considered it. 

“Freedom.” That’s all she had ever wanted. All that mattered. Both too dangerous and the only thing that was safe to want. 

The girl shook her head, puzzled. “You already--”

Suddenly, loud screams broke around them. In the instant of panic, Kagura thought that she’d turn around just to see Naraku absorbing or birthing another incarnation. Instead, the previously quiet hall was filling with more girls in white robes. Many were yelling at the top of their lungs. They all swarmed around a tall woman whose very form seemed to emit a violent glow. 

“He upset Her again.” The girl shrank back into the shadows. In contrast, Kagura straightened her shoulders and moved forward. “What are you doing?” 

“If she’s in charge, then she’s responsible for that bitch kidnapping me. I’m giving her a piece of my fucking mind.” 

Slamming her fan down, she sent a sharp gust of air shooting towards the deity, bowling over several of the white-robed girls in her wake. Just before the wind met the woman’s face, however, it broke apart to chase something else further down the hall. Kagura grit her teeth. 

“Wind spirit.” The goddess spoke, stepping over Her stunned attendants as if they were inconvenient pebbles on a walking path. “This is not Fujin’s realm. You are not welcome.” 

Fan aloft, Kagura stepped fully into view, despite the white-robed girl’s muttered curse. She ignored the mention of the wind god. Despite sharing an element, they had no relationship--He had not participated in her resurrection, nor clarified his opinion on any of Kagura’s actions since. For her part, she didn’t bother to collect offerings or pray for his perspective. 

It seemed like it worked best that way. At least until _these beings_ had gotten involved. 

“If only gods are allowed here,” she snapped, “then why did you toss so many of your stupid children down into my forest?” 

The deity’s laugh made the hair on Kagura’s arms stand up. “No forest belongs to you.” 

“Forget about me, then. You should keep better track of what’s _ yours!” _Again, she slammed her fan down, sending more of the poor attendants screaming. “You can’t just create things to throw them away! Especially not when they start doing crazy, messed-up things to deal with it!” 

God, it was unbearably hot in here. Was this lady a goddess of the hearth, or something? Kagura had a sudden, fearful thought of what would happen if the woman struck her. Would she just end up with a headache, like the monk had been saying, or could she actually be hurt here? 

“It’s not fair,” she spat, willing her anger to carry her through like it always had before. “Aren’t you going to take some responsibility?” 

The deity rolled Her eyes. Suddenly, the room darkened. Air roared in Kagura’s ears, and she instinctively held her sleeve over her nose and mouth. 

“Oh, what do you want?” The deity growled, turning to the opposite end of the hall. “Haven’t you tormented my girls enough?” 

Kagura looked over her shoulder to see a tall, bearded man sweep in. Each shoulder jutted from His body in broken-off pieces of rocky mountain; waterfalls ran from them, dripping down to coat the tips of His fingers. They left black trails on the floor as He walked. Kagura felt the air in the room move towards Him; it reminded her of the way her wind form had been drawn to that damn jar. Her fury swelled. 

“I suppose you’re part of it too, then?” Whipping a lash of air at Him, it only pissed her off more that it broke apart several feet before making contact. “Dumping people aside, like they’re bruised fruit you can’t sell? By leaving them to rot, they go and poison everyone else.” 

“It’s that wind spirit, Sister.” His expression was bemused, as though coming across a shoe without its pair. “I threw her back with the others.”

“I know, Brother.” With a sweep of Her arm, She collected the now quietly whimpering attendants to Her side. “That temper...it’s no surprise she’s one of yours.” 

“Only technically.” He eyed Kagura’s fan. “I didn’t--”

“_Stop talking as if I’m not here! _” Giving up on attacking the deities themselves, Kagura sent the next blade of wind slicing into the pillar. A huge crack appeared, making several of Her attendants gasp. Shaking, she screamed at the man and woman shamelessly. 

“What kind of mindlessly pathetic creatures are you--saying you threw me back, as if I’m the same as those sniveling, whining water-women you strew all over the Western lands! I’m not like them! I’ve survived worse things than a pair of pretentious, stuck-up siblings squabbling like toddlers!” 

The storm god crossed both arms over His chest. “I had no idea she was so mouthy when I resurrected her.” 

“_You _resurrected--” 

“Brother, you never think these things through,” She snapped, before stepping closer. Light burned against the side of Kagura’s face as She neared. “For the last time, wind spirit. You are _ not welcome here. _What happens to the children is not of our concern.” 

“Not of your--” She threw up an arm to shield herself from the growing heat. “Why would you make them, resurrect me, if you don’t give a shit what happens?”

The storm god gave her a toothy grin. “Why not?”

And then

she

was

on

_ fire _

.

.

.

* * *

“I think she’s back with us--" 

“Kagura, can you hear me?” 

Black spots obscured her vision. She had to rub her eyes for a few seconds before they cleared. Kagome sat on her one side, holding the teapot and a normal cup. On her other side was Miroku, holding an armful of charms. Kagura waved both of them away from her as she sat up.

“Leave me alone. I’m fine.” 

“Did you see the storm goddess? What did she say?” Kagome moved forward to brush hair from the sorceress’ forehead before catching herself. Kagura almost wished she hadn't had stopped, and then immediately despised herself for the thought. 

“I didn’t see her. I went...somewhere else. It doesn’t matter.” 

The monk tried to help her stand, but she shook him off. Locating her fan, she stumbled out of the shrine as quickly as possible before they could see tears gather in her eyes. 

Kagome watched her go with a troubled expression. “What do you think, Miroku?”

“It’s hard to tell whether she was lying or not.” Miroku sighed and turned back to the items on the altar. “Although I guess now we know drinking from that cup is out of the question.” 

The priestess nodded, settling back into a meditation pose. “Back to Plan A, then?”

“I suppose so.” Heaving a sigh, the monk mirrored her position.

They took a deep breath in unison.


	21. Sixteen

As it turned out, Jaken had to hitch Ah-Un to a cart in order to carry the remains of the fire deities to the human village. Each had burst into flames after raving at him in turn; he assumed the effects of Tensaiga were to blame. He had not bothered to resurrect the storm goddess Nagisa. It was unclear what she might do, if given a chance to speak again. Even with the unplanned excess in time and cargo, Sesshomaru had hoped that dropping off the remains would be simple. 

Unfortunately, Inuyasha had met his arrival with the usual lack of tact and efficiency. Explaining _ just-what-the-fuck-are-those _alone had dragged on much longer than was pleasant. It had also taken much too long to track down the old priestess, so she could figure out a way to properly store the technically-alive-but-not-humanoid gods somewhere in the village. By then, the taijiya and Rin had come to say hello. They’d mentioned the ritual to appease the storm goddess was underway, then requested he stick around to see what came of it. 

The unease in Rin’s expression had won that decision over quickly. 

Within a few moments of sitting down, the half-breed had once again let loose his string of accusations. Sesshomaru had been given no choice but to explain himself. 

“So you killed Nagisa because she was threatening Kagura.” Sango shook her head. It still didn’t change the fact that the fire gods had been killed for no reason. Hopefully they could figure out a way to convince Sesshomaru not to address things the same way in the future; she didn’t exactly envy the idea of having to deal with this problem again. 

“Don’tcha think that’s odd, though?” Inuyasha’s jaw ticked. “Why were you followin’ her around in the first place, Sesshomaru?” 

The daiyokai narrowed his eyes, but didn’t immediately reply. 

“Lady Kagura used to follow us because she wanted Lord Sesshomaru to kill Naraku,” Rin pointed out. “Maybe Lord Sesshomaru needed her for something like that?” 

“He is the greatest daiyokai of this era! What purpose could Kagura fill?” Jaken shrieked. 

Rin rolled her eyes. “Don’t snap at me, Master Jaken!” 

The imp sputtered for a moment, before turning his attention to the still-silent Western Lord. “Lord Sesshomaru, whatever your reasons, how you can put up with that silly witch is beyond me--”

“Ah!” Sango leaned forward suddenly. The surprise of the thought overcame her sense that saying it in front of Sesshomaru could end badly. “Could it be that Kagura is _ special _to Lord Sesshomaru?” 

The room stilled. 

Rin turned to the daiyokai with wide eyes and clasped both hands beneath her chin. As a young child, she’d suspected that Kagura liked her Lord, but she’d never imagined it could be reciprocated!

Jaken was the color of stone. If someone had tapped him, he wouldn’t have moved. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Inuyasha was struggling (and failing) to keep a neutral expression. “You’ve been runnin’ around acting like even more of an asshole than usual because of a stupid crush?”

From the look in the daiyokai’s eye, Sango was certain that she was going to be murdered on the spot. Some deities above must have liked her quite a bit, for at that moment the door to the room opened. 

“Ah, everyone is here,” Miroku said cheerfully. He moved through the group to stand in front of his wife, having read the danger of the room in a matter of seconds. “Unfortunately, the ritual will not be completed today.” 

“We’ve been trying for an hour, and neither of us can make contact with the storm goddess.” Kagome dragged a sleeve over her forehead, smiling wearily at Rin. “But Kaede came by right as we finished--she set up altars for some fire gods resting in their elemental form. Maybe by sharing our offerings with them, we can make some headway.” 

“You didn’t touch those objects much, didja?” Inuyasha leaned forward to catch his wife’s wrist. “Shippo said they had some weird aura on ‘em.” 

“Lady Kagome and I discussed using the red cup, but decided against it.” Miroku’s gaze flicked between Sango, Sesshomaru, and the still very pale Jaken. He only jumped a little when the daiyokai spoke. 

“I have it on good authority that moving between worlds has negative effects on humans. If you had sipped from the cup, and transcended to the divine realm, your health would surely have suffered.” 

Inuyasha whipped his head around to stare at Kagome, who looked a little taken aback herself. “Stupid, you could have hurt th--”

“What about Kagura? Was she any help at all?” Sango interrupted, before the hanyou could give away his wife’s secret to even more people.

“Well…she did drink from it.” Waving her hands at everyone’s stricken expression, the priestess said, “It was before I could stop her, and then she was in some kind of trace for a few minutes. When she woke up she was talking and moving normally, though!” 

“Although she left before being fully checked for injuries.” Miroku raised his eyebrows meaningfully. “Perhaps someone should go check on her.” 

All eyes turned to Sesshomaru at the same moment Jaken shook his head wildly. Frowning, the daiyokai stood. 

“Rin. We have things to discuss.”

“Huh?” She glanced at the others in the room before scrambling to her feet. “Yes, Lord Sesshomaru.” 

“Jaken, see what the old priestess has done with the fires.” 

The servant answered with a bow, but was otherwise silent; Miroku and Kagome shared a confused look, wondering what could have subdued him. 

“Be back at Kaede’s for dinner, yeah?” Inuyasha eyed Rin with obvious concern. She nodded, giving him a smile as she followed her master out of the room. The hanyou’s ears flicked in barely disguised affection at the action. 

As soon as the daiyokai and his party had left, Sango held both hands to her face. “Oh, who knows what Lord Sesshomaru will say to Rin, now that I’ve put him in such a bad mood…” 

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Miroku soothed, stroking her arms. “Although please never, ever say it again. The way he glared at you was quite chilling…”

“What are you talkin’ about? The look on his face was _ priceless. _” Inuyasha shook his head with a smirk. “Shippo’s gonna be so disappointed he missed it. Kagome, we need to act it out for him later.”

“Okay, but only if I get to be Sesshomaru.”

“Yeah, an’ I’ll do Sango!” The hanyou mimicked a fearful expression, causing the taijiya to swing at him. 

“He killed a whole bunch of gods, so excuse me for being nervous! Besides, that just proves I wasn’t wrong. He does have a crush on Kagura!” 

“Eh?” Miroku smirked. “Was that not already a well-known fact?” 

Somehow, Inuyasha’s grin stretched even wider at that response. Kagome crossed both arms and huffed, “Oh, so when _ he _says it then it doesn’t gross you out?” 

* * *

Rin followed Sesshomaru to a quiet corner of the village. Here, a thatch of wildflowers grew over what used to be a drinking well, before the village men had built a new one closer to the center of town. Now it was mostly used by local children to play out the story of Kagome’s appearance in the past. There Sesshomaru stopped, with Rin beside him. 

The droop in his shoulders sparked her concern. “Are you oka--”

“As you might already know, your current difficulties are due to the time spent in the Underworld.” He turned, leveraging the full force of intensity in his gaze. Rin felt rooted to the spot. “It was expressed to me that a blessing from a divine being might be the only way to aid you. 

I attempted to collect one on your behalf. But the gods were not willing.” His expression carried nothing--regret, concern, or disappointment. But Rin was used to that. “It is clear that your past experiences are inextricable from your current sense of being. You will not be asked to pretend that it isn’t so. But for the sake of your future, you must not drown yourself in the past. Have I made myself clear?” 

She nodded, mechanically. For a minute they were simply standing side-by-side in silence. Then Rin said, “How do I do that, Lord Sesshomaru? ‘Not drown in it’?”

It wasn’t an easy question; she could tell by the slight slackening in his jaw. Something burned in her throat, and then there was that horrid thought again. The same one that had come to her when walking in the forest with the storm goddess, that Rin tried so hard to push down deep inside herself. 

_ Why was I in the Underworld in the first place, Lord Sesshomaru? _

“I cannot understand what it is to be a human with your experiences,” he said finally. His hand moved to grip her shoulder; even now that she was older, Rin still felt dwarfed by it. “All I know is that despite what darkness follows you, you must continue.” 

“I’ll do my best, Lord Sesshomaru.” 

The hand tightened. “You _ must _. No running in the woods after lost goddesses anymore. No hiding away from those to whom I have entrusted your safety. It was--”

His voice broke off suddenly. It surprised her, maybe even scared her a little. Automatically, Rin grabbed his arm with both hands, the way she used to as a younger child. 

When he spoke again, it was tightly controlled. “It was my fault that you lost your life, that time. There are no more ways that I can save you if you choose to be reckless. Do you understand?”

Even though blaming him had itself crossed her mind only a moment ago, to hear her Lord confess it himself felt incredibly wrong. Rin clung to his arm tighter and nodded. “Yes, yes, I promise! I’ll be more careful, I’ll--I’ll work harder towards my future! I _ promise! _”

He didn’t smile, but the mask of his face softened; relief flooded her veins. The feeling grew as he stepped forward without shaking her off, instead letting them walk together. 

After only a few more steps, he spoke again, so quietly she had to strain to hear it. 

“Even when you were dead, you were never alone. Kohaku, Jaken, Ah-Un, and I remained by your side.” He dipped his head slightly. “That will always be so, as long as it is in my power.” 

It was similar to what Miroku had said earlier. Hearing her Lord say it flooded Rin’s heart with more warmth than she knew was possible. “I know, Lord Sesshomaru.” 

He allowed her to rest her head against his arm for a moment, before they continued walking back to the main house. 

_ Good. _ Now that his main concern was settled, it was time to hunt down the wind witch. 

* * *

_ You idiot, _ she berated herself, pacing through the long lines of crop gardens at the rear of the village. The confused looks of the workers around her faded into the background; she didn’t care if they thought she was crazy. _ What happened to ‘learn as much as you can but act as little as possible’? Drinking from that thing was fucking stupid. _

_ And you know what was even more stupid? Trying to talk sense into a god. _

This was why she didn’t mess around with Fuijin, wasn’t it? Why she had stopped being baited into fights with forest spirits? Because no matter what, nobody ever took her seriously. 

Her bare foot kicked roughly against a stone buried within the dirt path; the curse she let fly sent the gawking villagers hurrying back to their work. Kagura came to a stop, snapping her fan open and closed at a rapid pace. 

She hadn’t been resurrected for some glorious purpose. That was fine; she’d never wanted one, anyway. Unlike with Naraku, she hadn’t been brought back to dispatch enemies or assist in plans for power. Which she’d hated.

That bearded god had simply resurrected her to prove he could, then forgot about her. 

_ So what? _

It didn’t make sense that she was so pissed off. All she’d ever wanted was freedom; wasn’t that what this was? Life with no strings attached? 

“Are you planning to stand there all day like a scarecrow?” 

Fuming, she whipped around to glare at Jaken. The frog stood with his arms folded, tapping one foot against the ground. 

“What the hell do you want?” Her snarl was louder than planned; a couple of farmers standing nearby hastily moved away, baskets held against their hips jostling with every step. 

For once, Jaken didn’t look remotely perturbed. “So you drank from the goddess’ cup. How could you be so stupid?”

The frame of the fan in her fist might have cracked, had it not been made of demon bone. Jaken waved one green finger at her, voice turning shrill. 

“You better watch out for yourself! If you end up injured again, Lord Sesshomaru will--” 

“Jaken. Have you finished the task I gave you?” 

The frog jumped a foot in the air, before planting himself in a bow on the ground. Kagura counted him lucky, because one more word out of that stupid little beak and she had been ready to send him flying across the crop fields. She turned her back to stare out into the sea of green, trying to calm down. 

“Indeed, my Lord! Shall I take you to--”

“That is not necessary. Go assist Rin; she is with the taijiya’s children.”

“But, but my lord--” Jaken had a particular dislike for the twin girls, as they found him the perfect victim for their games of demon-catcher. And the older they got, the more aggressive their attacks became. 

“_Now. _” 

Kagura couldn’t help but snicker. However, then the daiyokai was by her shoulder, his next order directed at her. “Come. You’re making these humans nervous.” 

“Maybe _ you’re _making them nervous,” she retorted, stuffing her fan back into her sleeve. “And what makes you think I want to go anywhere with you?” 

“Kagura.” The voice carried a warning that she was too tired to bait. With the most dramatic sigh she could muster, she turned on her heel and followed him back up the path. 

* * *

“I can wait outside for ya. It ain’t any trouble,” Inuyasha grumbled, watching his wife unfold a blanket. 

“It’s just a quick nap. I don’t need you watching me,” Kagome said, for the third time. The hanyou’s frown deepened at the bite in her voice, and she immediately felt bad. Truthfully, it wasn’t him she was annoyed at; it was the storm goddess, who was refusing to talk to her. She’d studied the ritual really hard, and it was honestly a little unfair that the deity wouldn’t even let them _ try _to help her. “Inuyasha, I’m sorry. But my head is killing me, and I just want to be alone.”

One side of his mouth turned up. “You’re not gonna be alone for a while, wench.” 

“You know what I mean. And hey--” She gave him her best imitation of a demon-growl. “Just because the beads are gone doesn’t mean you can keep calling me that.” 

The smile he offered sent her heart fluttering, even after two years of living together. “Yeah, yeah, alright.” Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he murmured, “I’ll come check on ya in a while, okay?” 

It wasn’t until he was gone that the dull pounding in her head finally overwhelmed her. Kagome slumped onto her bedroll with a groan. After this, she had to go back to the shrine to check out the fire gods. And then there was seeing where Kagura had gone to...

Exhaustion pricked at the corner of her eyes. With the way her body was reacting to everything lately, she didn’t want to do anything except sleep. Preferably for days. 

At least she had these few minutes to herself. 

_ In her dream, she was flying through the clouds. Her headache had faded; she was totally weightless and free. Until, as suddenly as she’d fallen asleep, Kagome was plunged into darkness. _

_“Hey! What the--” __  
_ _Her breath caught. Huge columns of dark water surrounded her on all sides; it was almost like being on the bottom of the sea, except she could breathe and move just fine. Slowly, she took a step forward, one arm outstretched. The palm of her hand collided with something warm. _

_ “It’s broken…” _

_ Her eyes adjusted in the dark quickly; she was touching the shaking shoulder of a woman, frozen to the ground. In her arms was a canister, the smooth surface marred by a large crack that paused only a few inches from the lid. _

_ “You’re the storm goddess,” Kagome breathed. The woman ignored her, continuing to weep over the object. The sound of rushing water echoed around them. _

_ Gently, Kagome stretched to run her fingers over the wound in the jar. The rough edge bit into her skin; her stomach twisted sharply, and she pulled away with a loud noise. The woman turned to look at her with alarm. _

_ “A priestess?” The jar fell softly onto her lap as she reached both arms towards Kagome. “You’ve been calling me. I knew, but I couldn’t...” _

_ “It’s okay.” Holding the woman’s hand didn’t seem to have any negative effect. She let the deity help her settle on the ground, feeling the pain in her abdomen ease. “Can you tell me your name? My grandfather always said it’s more polite to talk to gods that way.” _

_ Huge, dark eyes blinked at her slowly, as though it was a strange thing to ask. “A...Akari.” _

_ “It’s nice to meet you, Akari.” Kagome smiled, trying to remember anything about the ritual. When she’d been awake, it had been so clear… _

_ “You’re probably upset about what I did with the wind.” Akari’s face hardened. “It’s not fair. It was so easy for her.” _

_ Kagome didn’t know what to make of that. “Akari, we’ve been trying to contact you so that we can send you back to the divine realm. What you did to Kagura and Rin--” _

_ At the mention of the girl’s name, the water rushing around them slowed. Akari’s free hand pressed to her cheek. “Rin is so lovely. I wanted to bring her with me, as a devotee.” _

_ “I’m afraid that you can’t do that,” Kagome said gently. _

_ “Well, of course not. She betrayed me.” The woman’s face melted into despair. “Just like everyone else does. Just like my Father and Mother did. I can’t go back there.” _

_ “But you’re miserable here.” Kagome clasped the deity’s hand between both of her own. The woman’s expression seemed so familiar, somehow. “I’m sorry things have been so hard.” _

_ The jar tilted further into the woman’s lap as she shifted to stare at Kagome intently. The priestess steeled herself and refused to look away. After a moment, Akari said, “You’re from another world, too. Aren’t you?” _

_ “Well, sort of, yes. I was born in a time centuries after this one. But I found my way here, and made so many friends, that I decided to stay.” If she’d been having this conversation awake, Kagome knew she would be tearing up; every time she thought about her mom, and Sota, and Grandpa, she felt so incredibly selfish. “I might not have been from this time, but I know that I belong here. Even if it means that I can’t have everyone that I want in my life.” _

_ Akari nodded gravely. Kagome gestured to the jar. “That seems like it’s very special to you.” _

_ “When I was born, my sisters and I each got a jar. It’s the best way to tame the wind and water; they’re more finicky elements than fire, you know.” _

_ Kagome smiled as if she did. _

_ “But it’s broken now. It can’t serve its purpose.” _

_ “You can still want it, though.” Kagome eyed the walls of water surrounding them; now, in classic dream-like fashion, they were shifting back into clouds. Although these were heavy and gloomy, nothing like the pristine white ones she’d been flying through before. “Things don’t always have to be exactly as they were made to be, or do what they were made to do.” _

_ The goddess looked at her in wonder. Kagome didn’t know why it was so common for people to stare at her in such a way; she wasn’t ever doing or saying anything special. Just speaking what was in her heart. _

_ “Akari,” she sighed, clasping their hands tight again. “You don’t have to go back to the divine realm if you don’t want to. But I don’t think you should stay in the forest all alone, when it’s such a scary and sad place for you. Is there anywhere else you can think of where you might be happy? Or a form, even, that you could exist in peacefully?” _

_ The goddess thought for a long moment. “What do you mean?” _

_ “Well, your five brothers are actually in our shrine now.” Kagome decided not to mention how they turned out that way. “They’re in the form of fires, and my priestess friend says that as long as we protect them that they could burn for always. Do you have a form like that?” _

_ “I...I don’t know. I never thought about that. I just wanted to be safe.” _

_ “I know. And I’m sorry that you weren’t safe.” If the baby she was carrying was a boy, she was crossing “Sesshomaru” off the list of possible names, just for causing so much trouble. And she would tell him that, too, as soon as she woke up. “But despite everything that has happened with your Father and the jar and Rin--you can always start over. Things might not be the same, but maybe that means that they can be better. More free.” _

_ Akari tilted her head. The look in her eyes reminded Kagome of her earlier trance, with the glowing woman, and she pressed both arms against her abdomen in preparation for a violent exit. _

_ Instead, Akari pulled from her sleeve a black, shiny fabric. Carefully, she wrapped the jar until none of the green was visible. Then, like cradling a baby, she rested the bundle next to Kagome. “Thank you, priestess.” _

_ “Akari?” Kagome didn’t want to touch any more divine objects, in case the pain flared up again. Or something worse happened. _

_ “Put that in the place where the rest of your heart lies.” Akari sat back down again, curling into herself. _

_ “Uh, what?” _

_ All at once, the clouds rushed in on top of them. _

“Son of a--” 

Kagome groaned awake, rubbing her eyes with one hand. Sitting up, she froze as something hard bumped against her leg over the blanket. At that moment, a knock sounded on the beam above the door. 

“Kagome? You still sleeping?”

“No,” she said, unable to keep the wistfulness out of her tone. Covering her hand with the blanket, she rolled the broken jar to the edge of her bedroll. “But I have good news...” 

* * *

Sesshomaru was clearly still trying to piss her off, Kagura decided, because he made her walk practically all the way to the other side of the damn village before stopping, just before they reached the wall. 

_ “ _I suppose you’re going to continue what that mouthy little grass stain started, and yell at me for drinking out of the damn cup,” she snapped, glaring daggers at his back. “Well, you can fuck right off with that, because now I know which prick of a god is responsible for my resurrection and--”

“Why aren’t you shifting?” 

Her mouth opened and closed several quick times in succession. “_ What?” _

“After coming out of the jar you retained no physical injuries. You’re clearly in your usual state of mind, obscenities and all. So why aren’t you shifting into your wind form?” Gold eyes settled on her from over his shoulder. “I don’t care that you drank from the cup. But it is not like you to muddle around with humans for an extended period of time.” 

“I--I could say the same about you! How many times have you been to see Rin this month?” 

He turned, mouth set in a firm line. “Your wind form is an advantage that you should not deny yourself. Especially since the goddess still lives.” 

Anxiety crawled up her spine, settling in the hollow of her lungs. She’d been trapped in that form; the idea of shifting felt like shoving herself back into the dark mindspace she’d been in before.

But that wasn’t something she could ever tell _ him _. 

Sesshomaru’s jaw ticked. “You are aware that she can’t trap you again.” 

_ It’s hard to remember shit when you’re having a breakdown at the time. _The words lodged in her throat, and she couldn’t speak them. Couldn’t fight him, the way she usually did. And worse, he was noticing, because his frown grew deeper the longer she stood there.

Every time she tried to take control, she ended up trapped in some other way. 

It wasn’t fair. 

“Kagura.” He struggled visibly for a moment, and she wondered dazedly if he was actually trying not to insult her. What the daiyokai ended up saying was like a bucket of cold water crashing over the heat of her frustrations. “If you allow yourself to be weak, so that you end up in more pain, then I will not forgive you for it.”

_ What in the... _

“Hey, Lord Sesshomaru! Kagura!” 

If he was uneasy about approaching the two demons, Shippo hid it well. His tail stuck straight up and waved about as he shouted, “The goddess came to Kagome while she was sleeping! Come on, she wants to tell everybody about it!” 

It was purely instinctual; she didn't mean to do it at all, and it had nothing to do with him. But at the same moment that Sesshomaru looked away, Kagura clutched her fan tight and broke apart into the air. 

Shippo shouted something at her as she floated over the wall, heading for the fields (not the forest, that was still the worst possible place for her to be). A few hundred yards out she collapsed into the grass, gasping but feeling slightly more free. _ I did it. Everything’s okay. _

She chose not to think about Sesshomaru’s expression as he’d watched her go.


	22. Seventeen

_ She was pinned to the spot.  _

_ Like a puppet with the strings cut.  _

_ Kagura could only watch, chest burning, as the miasmic tentacle wrapped around Kohaku’s ankle and sent him crashing down onto the stone floor.  _

_ Over in the corner, Kanna and her mirror lay in pieces; soulless eyes seemed to be calling out to the wind witch. In the opposite corner of the dark, windowless basement was a stretch of bloodied blanket--all that was left of Hakudoshi. She couldn’t recall it, but he must have been reabsorbed… _

_ “Kagura,” her master sing-songed, ignoring the taijiya’s boy’s cries of pain as he was dragged further. “See what you’ve done now?”  _

_ Something cold and wet dripped down her stomach; she looked down and saw a gaping hole in her chest. No, no, no-- not her heart!  _

_ Kohaku struggled vainly against the miasma tightening around his limbs; Kagura could see spots of blood staining his skin. The rush of red pouring from her chest wound increased senselessly the more he struggled. As if they were connected.  _

_ “Thought you could be free, my little dancing doll?" Naraku snarled. “Sneaking out of the castle, giving clues to my enemies.  Begging for help, like you’re so innocent…”  _

_ She shook as his demonic aura increased. It pressed against every inch of her body like a giant hand closing her in its fist. From the corner, the halves of Kanna’s face watched with resignation.  _

_ “You used to enjoy the tasks I gave you.” The man’s hiss, melding with Kagura’s harsh breathing and Kohaku’s cries, created a sickening cacophony in the basement. “When did you stop being so happy to perform? The curtain hasn’t closed yet.”  _

_ One hand came up from behind his back, and she felt faint seeing the organ held tight in his grasp. “ _ ** _This_ ** _ always been mine, Kagura. Your body, your mind, your very existence. It’s not your place to deny me.”  _

_ Something fell from her sleeve with a clatter. No one else in the room seemed to notice; Kagura glanced down, even as the action of taking her eyes from the heart terrified her.  _

_ A fan made of demon bone and blue silk lay half-folded on the filthy floor. Blood pounded in her ears as she stared at it, trying to remember where it had come from.  _

_ “I won’t tolerate this anymore, Kag--” _

_ Before he had finished speaking, she’d bent to snatch the weapon up. Then Kagura stomped across the room to smack her creator in the face with it.  _

_ Kohaku fell shockingly silent. Naraku’s cheek swelled to an ugly purple, but Kagura didn’t give him a chance to breathe. In a moment, her arm slashed down, ripping the limb that held her heart in its hand from his body. Then his torso was in ribbons, miasmic tentacles dissipating. Screams -- not of fear, or pain, but of anger -- filled the basement, as Kagura sent winds ripping through him, again and again.  _

_ “I--am-- _ ** _not_ ** _ \--yours!”  _

_ The more she cut into him, the greater his aura grew. It filled the space between her roaring, burning deep beyond her eyelids. Kagura couldn’t breathe, it was all--blood--bones--body--the wound in her chest split deeper-- _

Kagura woke with a strangled gasp. The winds rushed around her, and she felt glad for their protection even though she was alone in the fields. Above, heavy clouds blocked out the stars, leaving the sky a wash of black. 

She’d assumed sleeping in the fields would be fine due to the still-warm weather, but now it just felt overly exposed. Gusts brushing her cheek, Kagura leaned back into the grass, trying to calm the racing in her heart. Kohaku’s fan was in her hand, the same as it had been in her dream. She unfolded it to settle flat on her stomach, searching for some kind of comfort. 

Despite the familiarity of the nerve-wracking details, she’d never attacked Naraku in her dreams before. Usually she was frozen in terror, or forcibly held in place. Perhaps that was something good, if even her subconscious was sick of dealing with the monster’s shit. 

Now if only the dreams would stop entirely, then things would be just peachy. 

Her thoughts drifted curiously; did Kohaku have such nightmares? Did Rin? Or any of the other humans. Shippo. Inuyasha....

Well, if they did, then they didn’t have to look very far to find comfort. Just roll over, and there’d be someone with some sickeningly soft caress and fragile words, ready to chase away the demons of the past. Vulnerability was welcomed amongst such creatures; a chance for connection, instead of a weakness to exploit. 

_ Ugh. I’d rather sleep out here for the rest of my days...  _

Even so, she pressed the fan harder against her kimono as she tried in vain to go back to sleep. 

* * *

Inuyasha rushed into the house; annoyance came off him in waves. “I asked Kohaku to fix the damn roof yesterday, after stupid Sesshomaru busted off a chunk of it. But when I went up there to check just now, guess what he’s done? Big fat nothing!” 

Kagome didn’t respond. When he turned, she hadn’t moved from her quiet seat by the window, with the jar placed on the sill. 

_ Ugh, that ain’t good.  _

“You’ve been staring at that thing since yesterday,” Inuyasha pointed out, coming over to sit beside his wife. To be honest, it was starting to bug him; she hadn’t had the stomach for breakfast, and he wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep lunch down either. He couldn’t just let her starve to death, of all things. But it seemed that the only thing that occupied her, other than morning sickness, was the damn jar. “Come on, tell me what you’re thinking.” 

“She told me to put it ‘where the pieces of my heart lie’. Which sounds pretty ominous, even though I’m sure she was trying to be nice.” Kagome frowned, as though the object might start talking if she just looked at it long enough. “I just don’t get it. My heart is here, with you, in the village. But that can’t have been what she meant...” 

“What about the Bone-eater’s Well?” 

She stared at him, her hand flattening across her chest. Breath escaped her lips with a  _ whoosh _ . After a moment, she stammered, “Do you--do you think it would--”

Inuyasha jumped to his feet, hand outstretched. The smirk on his face was reminiscent of his younger, more foolhardy days. “Come on.” 

They reached the well in record time, after giving a hurried explanation to their friends; Kagome peered worriedly into the depths, hands tightening on Inuyasha’s shoulders. 

“Go on, toss it in. If it doesn’t work, I’ll jump in and get it back for ya.” Inuyasha leaned as far as he could without losing his balance. After a deep breath and a quick prayer, Kagome flung the jar into the well. They both waited for the crack that would indicate it had found purchase on the ground far, far below. 

Nothing. 

Kagome gasped. “Inuyasha--”

“You don’t have to say it.” He hoisted her up further on his back. “I’m coming with ya.” 

Oh, shoot, she was already feeling nauseous again. Squeezing both eyes shut, Kagome felt the rush of air hit her face as he leapt down into the Well. 

It was like no time had passed. The shrine floor was swept clean--was it Grandpa, or Sota who had maintained it these past few years? Leaves in shades of brown, orange, and red coated the steps outside. Everything was still and quiet, as if it had only been waiting for her to come back. Inuyasha opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment Kagome scrambled off of his back and raced out of the shrine door. 

_ “Kagome!”  _ Inuyasha thumped both fists against the side of his own head. “If you trip and fall on the baby, I’m gonna kill you!”

She couldn’t hear him; tears filled her eyes as she ran towards the house. The path was so familiar, she didn’t bother to wipe them away. As soon as the door flung open, the smell of something warm hit her face. Kagome turned, almost slipping, to look in the kitchen doorway. 

Her mother turned from where she was stirring a pot on the stove. The curious smile on her face immediately morphed into one of shock. “Kagome?” 

Joy burst inside her chest. She was here. She was  _ right here.  _ Kagome could tell her the news--about being married, about being pregnant. 

Words she’d wanted to speak for weeks swam through her mind-- _ you should have been the first to know, it didn’t feel real until you knew-- _ but she couldn’t make sense of any of it. Instead, Kagome flung herself into the older woman’s arms, just as Inuyasha appeared in the kitchen doorway with Sota at his side.

“Mom, Inuyasha’s back! The well is working again!” 

The hanyou sighed under his breath, hugging the shouting boy with one arm. “At least something good came outta that shit…”

* * *

“I’m sorry, Lord Sesshomaru, but Inuyasha and Kagome left just a few minutes ago. They won’t be back for several days, at least.” Sango bowed apologetically to the daiyokai. “You’re welcome to stay in the inn until they return.” 

Jaken puffed up to say something rude; immediately, Sesshomaru cut him off. “That won’t be necessary.” 

“Of course.” The taijiya nodded. “Would you like to see the altars for the fire gods, then? Rin and Shippo have been doing very well keeping them maintained over the past few days.” 

Sesshomaru and Jaken shared a look, before the daiyokai gave a solemn nod. 

The old priestess was in the shrine, digging amongst the offerings with a frown. Outside, five stone altars had been built up against the side wall of the holy place. Someone had brushed the ground in front of the display clean of debris; tucked within each structure was a steadily burning flame. Sango bent before each one, murmuring something that he didn’t care to know. 

“They look nicer than expected,” Jaken sniffed. “Hopefully they will be content enough here to never cause us trouble again, Lord Sesshomaru.” 

“Sango!” Kaede poked her head from the shrine opening; concern creased the lines of her face. “Did Kagome come in here today?” 

“No, she and Inuyasha left straight away.” The taijiya eyed Sesshomaru and Jaken with caution as she answered. “What’s wrong?” 

“One of the artifacts is missing.” Kaede rubbed her one eye with the heel of her hand. “The lid that you found. I have searched the whole room from top to bottom.”

“How could you lose something like that!” Jaken screeched, apparently forgetting that he had never found anything useful in the object. 

Sesshomaru frowned. _Th_ _ at such a thing would suddenly disappear on its own...if the living goddess had been here, she would surely have collected all the items, not a jar-less lid alone. _

“Perhaps one of the kids got into the shrine and picked it up?” Sango tapped her chin, already thinking of a couple trouble-makers in the village (none she was responsible for, thank goodness) that could have done such a thing. Kaede breathed out harshly through her nose and murmured, “Perhaps…” 

“I suppose nothing else is missing.” Sesshomaru kept his gaze on the altars as he spoke. The old woman frowned at his rudeness, but ducked back into the shrine for a quick moment. Her voice carried through in resignment. “The scroll for the appeasement ritual is also no longer in its usual place.” 

“I’m sure Miroku knows where that is,” Sango said, although unease brittled her tone. “He and Kagome have been working hard, perhaps it’s just misplaced.” 

“Or perhaps there is something more sinister afoot,” the priestess muttered gravely. “Perhaps someone does not want to see the goddess healed. After all, it was  _ you--”  _ she pointed a gnarled hand at Sesshomaru “--who killed them, was it not? How awfully suspicious!” 

“Stupid woman!” Jaken’s face reddened with anger. “How dare you accuse Lord Sesshomaru of something so underhanded! Calming the goddess would help Rin, we have no intentions of preventing such a thing!” 

Sesshomaru’s eyes flicked between the two beings, before he decided to ignore them completely. “Taijiya--has anyone prayed to the fire gods since their altars were built?” 

“Um, a few villagers asked for a reprieve from the heat yesterday. And this morning we split offerings between them.” 

“Good.” Hopefully having humans around to worship them would calm the creatures’ tempers, making it more likely that they’d take pity on Rin. Or at the very least, bring better luck to the village itself. So what if the ritual scroll had disappeared; the remaining goddess had surely learned her lesson about crossing them. It didn’t have anything to do with him, anyway. 

Although it soon would, as soon as his brother returned to hear about it...

* * *

Kohaku hoped that the gods wouldn’t judge him too harshly for taking the lid from the shrine. It was the dead goddess’ anyway. From what his brother-in-law had said, the ritual required only an object of the intended subject, a strong mind, and careful words. 

Kohaku was quite sure that he was capable of the first two. 

It had taken a bit of time to find the spot in the woods that Rin had taken him to, that one time. Each time Kohaku started to question himself, he would close his eyes and focus on clues in the memory of the grim image. Finally, he came upon the pool again. It lay still untouched in the depths of the trees. 

The sheen of the black water made his head throb. With a heavy swallow, Kohaku dropped to sit cross-legged in front of the grave. After a moment, he decided to chance removing his mask. 

“Not everyone might agree, but I believe you deserve peace, Nagisa.” Carefully he set the lid on the ground, only a few inches from the water’s edge. Unfolding the ritual scroll, he squinted at the faded characters that also seemed to be...stained with something...

He didn’t have much experience in spiritual meditation. However, in the time after Naraku, Kohaku had developed a trick to release the anxieties and darker thoughts that sometimes loomed in his mind. 

_ Happy memories...let’s do four, this time.  _

After a few deep breaths, images swam in his mind. His nose filled with the scent of warm earth, fingers flexing as he recalled the tastes, smells, and physical sensations of each moment. 

One - Sango and Miroku’s wedding ceremony. The ritual cup of sake warming his hand, joyful tears stinging his eyes, and more bright smiles than he could count.  _ “Go give your sister and her new husband a hug, child.”  _

Two - His first mission with Sango after settling in the village. Kilala’s shoulder against his side, Hiraikotsu whistling through the air, flashes of black and red and green.  _ “Do you want to come with us? I’ve missed having you with me.”  _

Three - Dinner with Inuyasha and the others, after a long day of helping the villagers with the new well. Spices flooding his mouth with saliva, Shippo and Miroku bickering over something, and the relief of seeing a place set just for him.  _ “Keh. We didn’t wanna eat without you, so hurry up!”  _

Four - sitting with Keiko and Emi, waiting for Sango to finish feeding their weeks-old brother. Joy from Kagome’s return still sparking in his veins, the dull scent of ink, and tiny hands pulling at each arm.  _ “Uncle, uncle, come see what I drew!”  _

Comfort loosened his muscles, almost like a drug. With an easy sigh, he moved to the next step on the scroll. 

“O Spirit, I am here to witness you, in whatever form you choose to take. Here to know, if you accept it to be so. Here to understand, if you accept it to be so. 

May the path in the next world become clear to you, with these words. O Spirit, may you assert the power that sustained you in the before. O Spirit, I stay beside you in the after.” 

_ Nagisa... _

Kohaku cracked both eyes open to see the water before him shifting violently. Ripples spread from the very center out, flooding the grass. He snatched up the jar lid and backed away in a panic. Could the dog demon poison would still be potent after so much time?

Slowly, a body broke the surface. He watched with wide eyes as the pale woman sat up. Black water ran down her chin, disappearing into the fold of her robes; it didn’t seem to alarm her, as she turned to look at the taijiya boy with dull eyes. 

“Uh…” Kohaku stammered. “Goddess Nagisa?” 

She simply looked at him, not speaking. 

“I...this is yours, right?” He held out the jar lid. Her eyes lit upon it sluggishly. Then, with a pass of her sleeve, he felt it yanked from his grasp. Kohaku’s eyes darted to the scroll in his other hand. 

“Uh...O Spirit, you are a worthy part of the earth and the heavens. To the heavens and the earth may you find a safe return, if you accept it to be so. To those who love you, may you find a safe return. Shine your light--” 

The glare she hit him with felt like the burn of lightning -- an intense heat shot down Kohaku’s spine, and he promptly forgot what else to say. 

“ _ I am not Theirs,” _ came the furious whisper as Nagisa dragged herself from the pit. Pale arms, lined with burns from the dog demon poison, reached for him. The taijiya boy fell back, resigning himself to some kind of strike. 

But no pain came; when he looked up, a stretch of black shielded him. The other goddess, Akari, stood with her arms around her sister. 

“Nagisa,” she breathed. Immediately, the other goddess’ face smoothed into one of relief. “I am sorry for leaving you.” 

“You didn’t. I ran” Nagisa’s voice was strange; hoarse, like she’d been shouting for a long time. It hurt Kohaku’s ears to hear it. 

“Our brothers have new forms now. I have seen it.” Akari rubbed her sleeve over her sister’s chin, staining her robe with the water. “They will never hurt again.” 

“It hurts.” Nagisa leaned into her sister’s touch. “It hurts so much, Akari.” 

“I know. But I’m here now.” Akari pushed them further away from Kohaku. “Come with me. We don’t need the jars, or Father or Mother. We don’t have to be what we were made to be.” 

Nagisa scoffed. “What would we be instead?” 

Akari leaned in to whisper something in her ear that Kohaku couldn’t hear.  _ To those who love you, may you find a safe return -- _ the words burned in his heart as he watched the poisoned goddess smile. Both arms wrapped around her sister. 

Then they fell into the wind, disappearing. The jar lid settled in his lap. Very slowly, Kohaku leaned back until he was lying flat on the ground. 

_ Just a little break before I go back and explain all that, then... _


	23. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A. Kind of short chapter in comparison to the other ones, but I promise the next one will be longer.

“Ah, I felt it kick!” 

“It’s too early for it to kick, Grandpa,” Kagome laughed, gently pushing his hand away from her stomach. Beside her, Sota rested his head against her shoulder; he’d asked so many questions, it seemed to have worn him out. She couldn’t blame him; she’d told so many stories that her own throat felt hoarse. Who knew that so much could happen in almost two years? 

“Nonsense. That was definitely a kick.” Her grandpa’s eyes were still red from all the joyful tears he’d shed over the news of his first great-granchild. “It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if you have an early achiever in there.” 

“Will it have dog ears like Inuyasha?” Sota mumbled. Kagome ruffled his hair with a chuckle.

“Oh, I hope so.” 

Inuyasha watched her from the other end of the table, a soft smile on his face. Mrs. Higurashi came to sit beside him with a happy hum. 

“Thanks to you, she’s finally eating somethin’.” The hanyou gestured to the empty bowl in front of his wife. Mrs. Higurashi chuckled, patting his arm. 

“I’ll give you the recipe to take home. Do you cook, or does she do all that?”

“Eh, depends on who’s busier.” He’d gotten several weird looks from the village men over it, but Inuyasha figured that after all the shit they’d been through, he could break tradition a little bit. 

Mrs. Higurashi smiled again. He could see that over the past few years, the dark circles under her eyes had become more prominent. Before he could change his mind, he spoke again. 

“I’m sorry that she was gone for so long.”

“Oh, don’t apologize! It wasn’t your fault, and besides, you went without her for so long...” Mrs. Higurashi’s eyes filled with warmth--they’d always been like that, since the first time he’d met her. “It was a comfort to know how happy you must have been, seeing her again. And now, what a wonderful life you’ve built together! It was so kind of you to come share the news. Although, I don’t think I’ve prepared myself to be called Grandmother.” 

She giggled at her own joke, and he smiled despite himself. Sighing, she added in a more somber tone, “I only wish I could see it for myself. The village, and all your friends.” 

“That’s why I’m still sorry. Cause I know what it’s like to miss Kagome.” A few years ago, he might have blushed deeply speaking those words aloud; but now, they rolled off his tongue with ease. “To want to be by her side, and not have a way to make it happen.” 

Kagome’s mother rubbed at the corner of her eye. The hanyou hesitated before placing one arm on her back, patting it gently. “Look, I’m gonna be honest. I have no clue if this is a one-time thing with the well. That stupid jar didn’t come with instructions. So...I might have to test it out myself.” 

“What?” She gasped, then immediately hushed her voice hoping her daughter and son hadn’t heard. “What if she’s stuck on this side again, and you’re on the other? You might never see her again. Or the baby.” 

Fuck, he couldn’t spend too much time on that thought… “That’s why I’m not tellin’ her. I’m only telling _ you _so if something goes wrong, someone can explain. I was gonna ask Sota, but…”

The look in his eye was clear. Kagome was still deliriously happy about the change in fortune, and he didn’t want to ruin that for even a moment. But he had to know what the situation was. It was strange, seeing him now all grown up--a father. Even with all he’d been through, all the _fear _that she knew had marked his existence, he still could be so brave.  
Her daughter had chosen a good man. 

Trying to put on her trademark calm and collected smile, Mrs Higurashi sighed, “I understand, Inuyasha. You’ve always done your best to protect my daughter.” 

He nodded. Then, carefully eyeing his wife across the room, he got up and left. 

Wait, he was going to do it _ now? _She had half a mind to run after him, drag him back by the ears, and make him finish his soup. Food had always distracted him, right? But Mrs. Higurashi knew. He wouldn’t want her to talk him out of it, not if it meant having to have an even more difficult conversation with Kagome later when she realized they would have to leave sometime. 

If the worst happened, she would have to take on the burden of comforting Kagome. As her mother, it had always been her job. But for the past couple of years, that burden had shifted to the hanyou’s shoulders. It seemed like he had done well. So perhaps, Mrs. Higurashi tried to convince herself, he could be trusted with this. 

The next ten minutes passed agonizingly slowly. She felt like someone was standing behind her chair, hands wrapped around her throat. That was how this kind of fear felt--like she was choking. She’d felt it every moment Kagome came back through the well with a new scar or scrape. Every minute of those three years where her daughter’s eyes had remained full of a sadness that she’d considered might never heal. 

Her dad paused by her elbow. “Are you alright, dear?”

Just as she opened her mouth to confess that she might have just let her son-in-law do something terrible, Inuyasha popped back in the door. The relief on his face was obvious; Mrs. Higurashi didn’t know whether she wanted to smack him or pull him into a hug. 

Instead, she simply smiled at her dad. “Of course. Everything’s fine.” 

Of course, as soon as Kagome inevitably found out, she was going to give Inuyasha the scolding of a life-time. Perhaps it was a good thing that the beads around his neck appeared to be missing...

* * *

Kohaku had just made it back to the village when the rain started. 

As the door to the wall slammed shut, he could see several women hurrying to collect their children and get them indoors; the clouds hanging low in the sky above were darker than he had seen in quite a few years. Winds rushed violently past his face. The heavy drops that pelted him felt almost angry. 

By the time he’d made it to Sango and Miroku’s home, he was already drenched. His sister hurried to find him dry clothes, stepping over and around Mushin with practiced feet as he toddled around. Kilala was a ball of fluff in front of the fire, eyes closed. In the corner of the house, Emi and Keiko sat by Rin, who had her arms pressed tight over her stomach. 

“Rin, do you wanna blanket?” Keiko rubbed both hands over the girl’s arm in an attempt to keep her warm. “I can get one.”

“Yes, please.” Rin said quietly. From where he stood dripping in the entrance, Kohaku could see her shaking. “Thank you.” 

“S’okay, Rin.” Emi added, patting the girl’s head the way her dad did to her whenever she had a nightmare. Keiko echoed the sentiment as she dragged the blanket from her bed mat over. Both starting chanting it in earnest; even Mushin changed trajectory to where his sisters and babysitter sat, burbling the words every so often. 

“It’s okay, Rin. It’s okay…” 

Just as Sango returned with a clean robe, Miroku hurried in, thoroughly soaked. With a sigh, she turned on her heel to grab a second from the cabinet against the wall. 

“It’s strange,” Miroku hissed, just low enough so Kohaku and his wife could hear. “The weather today seemed like it would be perfectly fine. Hot, of course, but mild. And now it’s practically a hurricane…”

“Something happened in the forest,” Kohaku said, at the same moment that Sango started to say, “Perhaps it has to do with the missing--” 

Miroku shook his head, sending moisture from his hair onto the floor. “What a lovely time for Inuyasha and Kagome to take a trip.” 

Kilala mewed in agreement from her station in front of the fire. 

* * *

He had not planned to stay in his brother’s inn. He had not _ wanted _to stay in his brother’s inn. But the stupid old priestess had taken it upon herself to waste so much of his time that before he knew it, heavy rains had started to batter the land. And from Jaken’s uneasy expression, he knew traveling home through the storm would earn him too much complaining to be worth it. 

_ It is simply trading one headache for another. _

Luckily, Inuyasha wasn’t there to cause any trouble. He would stay until the rain stopped, and then make his departure. Perhaps, depending on how long the hanyou was away, he would never even know Sesshomaru and Jaken had been there. 

He turned the corner to see the fox kitsune standing in the main room, staring out the window at the rain. At his approach, Shippo jumped and screamed in shock. 

Which, in turn, made Jaken jump and shriek as well.

Why had he done this again?

When he’d calmed down, Shippo offered them a warm drink. He, of course, declined. 

“Kagome and Inuyasha left me in charge of the inn,” the fox kitsune sighed, holding a steaming cup close to his chest. “The roof is still messed up from when you hit it with your sword, Lord Sesshomaru. I hope the storm doesn’t make things worse. If the upstairs floods, Inuyasha is gonna kill me…”

He doubted his brother had the courage of mind for that. 

“The rains are getting heavier,” Jaken groaned, rubbing his head with both claws. A cup rested in his lap; despite its advertised properties, the drink had ceased to calm him in any shape or form. “To be trapped in this village by a hurricane…we have the worst luck, Lord Sesshomaru.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty bad. I feel sorry for anyone who’s stuck outside.” Shippo took a sip of his drink.

Sesshomaru’s thoughts wandered to the wind witch. Bold as she was, he doubted Kagura would have gone back to her pathetic little hut in the forest after disappearing the other day. But surely she had more sense than to wait around in the open hills, in weather like this. 

He made a mental note to check on her whereabouts once the rains stopped. Of all the drama that Kagura’s resurrection had brought about, drowning out in the open would be a rather pointless way to go. Although fate had been so cruel before, so perhaps he could only prepare to expect it. 

* * *

Turns out hanging around in the field was the stupidest plan ever when it came to bad weather. 

Kagura hadn’t thought to change into her wind form until _ after _getting soaked to the bone when the out-of-nowhere rain started. It felt like someone had literally poured a jug of water over her head. Now, in her elemental form, she had to work hard to keep from being tossed to-and-fro by the furious storm winds crashing beside her. She barely had a clear sense of direction; only the dark line that made the village wall in the distance and the forest--though now it just looked like a big bubble--were clear to her. 

She considered the wall for a long moment. Spending all night trapped with her former enemies would surely cause a headache. 

But so would desperately trying not to get dragged into the quickly-forming cyclone in the middle of the storm. 

_ Ah, what the hell. _The inn was supposed to be for visitors, anyway. And Kagome seemed to have a decent enough view of her that she wouldn’t reject Kagura for the night. 

* * *

“Wait!” 

Rin bolted up from her spot in the corner, startling everyone. Sango and Miroku had been going back and forth between praising and scolding Kohaku for his behavior in the woods; Mushin had fallen asleep by the second cycle of the argument, curled up on his father’s chest. 

Now, they all turned to the girl, whose pale face was drawn with determination. 

“The fire gods--what if the rain puts them out? Will they _ die _?” 

Kohaku stammered. “Well, I don’t know--” 

“We have to make sure they’re okay!” 

Before anyone could say anything, she knotted the blanket over her shoulders and dashed out the door. Kohaku and Sango were on her heels in a moment, the latter grabbing her rain hat from beside the door. 

“Daddy, can we go too?” Emi jumped up and down. Miroku looked between both girls and the slumbering toddler in his arms. Kilala blinked at him from across the room. 

“Ah, alright, but let’s get dressed in our rain-clothes first. Unlike _ some _people, we don’t want to catch a cold, right?”

The girls crowed loudly in unison. “Right!” 

“Hey, is that Rin?” Shippo peered out the opening he’d made in the window mat, squinting against the harsh gusts of air. Jaken leapt up, yanking the mat half-way; a dash of rain soaked the floor, catching just the edge of Sesshomaru’s boot. “Where is she going?” 

“Rin! Get back inside, you silly girl! Don’t you dare blow away!” Jaken screeched, waving a fist. “_ Rin!” _

“Stop, you’ll get the whole house wet!” Shippo yelled, shoving the frog away from the window and pulling the mat down. “She can’t hear you, stupid!”

“Then we have to get her! Right, Lord Sess-” Jaken twisted to see his Lord was already gone. “Eek!” 

* * *

She didn’t know what her plan was, as soon as she reached the shrine. The entrance had been covered, most likely by Kaede. But the altars still rested on the side of the structure, the stones turned dark gray by all the rain. Rin’s fears were correct; the fires inside looked much smaller, burning dully, as the lip of each altar was beaten by the water and wind. 

If they weren’t dying, they were at least being _ hurt _. 

Pulling the blanket from her shoulders, she strained to hold it over the opening in the first altar. Wet, sloshing footsteps came up behind her, and then Kohaku was at her side, stretching the blanket to the opposite side. 

“This is my fault,” he cried, but she shook her head hard. Whatever was going on, there wasn’t time to talk it about now. A rain hat landed solidly on her head. Rin turned to see Sango, wet hair falling out of her ponytail, rushing to the altar at the end of the row. The taijiya woman swore some before using her gloved hands to brush away the water collected at the edge of the stone opening.

She was so foolish; she hadn’t brought anything to cover the altars with. And there was no telling how long the storm would last; her arms were already hurting from the battering winds, threatening to pull her to the ground. 

“Hey!” 

Miroku ran towards them, arms full of tatami mats; Emi and Keiko ran beside him, each keeping a hand on his robe. The girls wore rain hats and black kimonos. Keiko waved to Kohaku, shouting, “Rescue team! Rescue team!” 

He laughed, feeling rivulets of rain drip down both temples. Rescue team was one of Keiko’s favorite games; she and her sister probably had no idea what it was they were truly doing right now.

“Sango, use these!” Miroku rested the rolled up tatami mats on the steps of the shrine. Shaking one out, he held it out to his wife. Over Sango’s shoulder, Kohaku could see Mushin had been tied to his father’s chest and covered by his robe. Impossibly, the boy was still sleeping, despite the angry rushing of wind and water around him. 

Sango gave Miroku a deadly look. “You brought the kids?” 

“Well of course, my dearest bride.” Her husband seemed unfazed. “The two of them ganged up on me, and without you there I was helpless to resist them. Besides, I could never leave our children all alone in the house during such weather. Kilala deserves her rest.” 

Sango shook her head, unable to keep from laughing. “This is so crazy.” 

“I love you too.” 

Rin tossed her tatami mat over her head; Kohaku helped her lift it so that it formed a shield resting atop the first altar. Pulling it over her body, she came face to face with the fire; the light burned through her eyelids, as if to ask, _ why? _

Between the group, they were only covering three altars. Sango was strong enough to hold the mat over the altar at the end of the row, and Miroku and the twins had the one on her other side. But she couldn’t hold this one without Kohaku’s help--even now, the wind threatened to rip it out of her hands. The dark voice within her cursed her weakness. 

“Ah! Mr. Dog!” At Emi’s little shriek of surprise, Rin peeked out from the edge of the tatami mat. If Inuyasha and Kagome were back, then things would be fine--

The cold, annoyed eyes of her lord met hers, instead. 

“We will discuss this later,” he warned her. The rain streaking down his face only made his expression look more unamused. 

The tatami mat met the top of the fourth altar with a slam; Jaken and Shippo fought to hold the sides down amongst the wind, pointedly avoiding Lord Sesshomaru’s angry look. Rin gulped, but couldn’t help but give him a smile. 

_ You’ve always come to help me when I need it, Lord Sesshomaru. _

That still left one altar, however. She knew that helping anyone was better than helping no one, but panic still burned within her. 

A rush of wind slammed the tatami mat against the side of her face, and she gasped sharply. 

“So is this what we’re doing, then?” 

With a dramatic sigh that was undercut by the scream of the storm, Kagura unfurled the last mat and draped it over the final altar. Water turned her hair into a heavy river down her back; she could sense the entire group staring at her, and felt a little insulted. 

Sesshomaru getting drenched, even on Rin’s behalf, was a much more surprising turn of events than anything _ she _was willing to do.


	24. Nineteen

Hours later, the storm had not ceased in its violence. 

In Kagura’s opinion, the whole business was quite unpleasant. Shippo and Miroku had found some way to affix the tatami mats to all five altars, effectively shielding the fires from the weather. Then the whole group (even Sesshomaru and Jaken, to her great surprise and amusement) had trudged back to the inn--the only place with enough dry clothes and blankets for such a motley crew. 

She hadn’t been able to hold back her laughter at the sight of the stately, stuck-up Western Lord thoroughly drenched and wind-blown. Thanks to Rin’s presence, he couldn’t threaten her for it. So she took full advantage. 

“You will stop laughing this instant!” Jaken snapped, hurling some piece of mud-stained clothing in her direction. With a wave of her hand, he was blown over. Lucky frog; if her fan hadn’t been sopping wet, she would have tossed him straight out the window into the rain. 

Lord Sesshomaru righted his servant; the frustrated glint in his eye hadn’t eased at all since coming in to dry. Kagura suspected he was upset with Rin for putting herself in danger again; honestly, what else did he expect? Humans were after all quite self-sacrificial. 

Although she had ended up helping too, hadn’t she? So perhaps she was just as foolish...

Shippo bounded over, handing her a blanket and a pale green kimono. Since arriving back at the house, he hadn’t stopped moving; apparently Inuyasha and Kagome had left on an abrupt vacation, and the kitsune was in charge of their estate. She supposed he hadn’t expected to have so many guests to tend to because of it. 

“There’s a free room on the left of the kitchen,” he told her. “Kagome has some herbs drying in there, but otherwise it should be pretty clean.”

Awkwardly, she shrugged in thanks. If she had her way, her bed would be out in the courtyard or on the roof again. Or, best of all, safe in her own little hut, far from everyone else. Unfortunately, the weather did not seem permitting. Very little in the world did, when it came to what Kagura wanted. 

Sango and Miroku had retired with their children some time ago. She wondered if they’d been bold enough to trek back to their own place. It would have made sense; Sesshomaru, Jaken, and herself were not exactly child-friendly types.

Kohaku, however, had stayed for a longer while to talk in hushed tones with Rin. Only a few moments ago, he’d disappeared to change clothes. Kagura hadn’t missed the expression on his face as he’d passed by. It indicated he’d like to talk to her as well. 

Why the taijiya boy seemed determined to drag her into the village’s honorary member squad, she would never understand. 

Chuckling, she watched Sesshomaru settle against the opposing wall of the main room. His gaze was locked on Rin, who was swaddled in so many blankets that Kagura wondered how she could breathe. The girl’s sleeping face carried more peace in it than she’d had in a long while. Perhaps her senseless deed had earned her some kind of favor with whatever god wasn’t responsible for the current weather. If so, then Kagura wouldn’t be much upset over it. 

Sesshomaru’s eyes turned to meet hers. Quickly, she bit back her snickering as much as possible. Gold eyes followed her every movement as she stood, collected her fan, and headed out into the hall. 

If she was being honest, his behavior was just as surprising as it was amusing. Rin was probably the only creature that he would have ever humiliated himself for, in such a way. 

_ So it turns out that he has more of a heart than I thought... _

* * *

_ I wouldn’t have expected her to help with such a stupid thing. _He watched Kagura leave, her shaking shoulders betraying the mirth she obviously felt at his misfortune. When Rin awoke, he would have to scold her for directly betraying the promise that she’d made to him recently. Jaken had already had plenty to say about her recklessness on their way back. 

Of course, he was wise enough to see that Rin hurrying to some creature’s rescue did indicate on some level she was becoming more like herself again. Especially during a storm; his half-brother’s wife had informed him that such things upset Rin, lately. The fact that what she had been rescuing were deities was even better. They would be cruel not to protect her now. 

So, the loss of his pride would at least be the gain of something else. 

Kagura, on the other hand, had no reason to get involved. Indeed, he would have expected her to be the type to raid the food storages and wait around until they all got back, drenched and exhausted. Perhaps she had had her own business with the shrine and its deities, and they’d simply been in the right place at the right time to catch her. 

_ Her motivations remain a mystery. As usual. _

Standing, he made sure that Jaken’s attention was fully on his sleeping ward before leaving the room. 

* * *

“Are you okay?” Kagome blinked at her husband. He lay in a sleeping bag on the floor, a cool rag splayed across his forehead. One arm covered his eyes; the other was crooked against the floor so their fingers could touch where her arm dangled off the bed. “You’ve thrown up more times tonight than me.”

“Kagome, I gotta tell you something.” One eye peeked out at her from behind his wrist. “And please don’t get mad at me, okay?”

“Sure.” She danced the tips of her fingers over his claws. “Tell me.”

“I went back to the well while you were eating. To check if it worked.” 

Her chest tightened like someone had kicked it. Immediately her fingers gripped his, pulling him an inch closer to the bed. “What?” 

“I had to see if we could get back to the Feudal Era. We were in such a hurry, and that goddess didn’t tell ya how it was gonna work,” he babbled. “If we could only go through and back a single time, I didn’t want you to lose your family again.” 

“So you took the chance that you’d be stuck instead? And I’d be here?” She hadn’t even thought about the jar only working once to open the well. Her words came out in shallow breaths. “Without you?” 

“I know. Kagome, as soon as I jumped, I regretted it--more than anything I’ve ever regretted in my life. It was stormin’ so bad when I came out the other side, the wind practically pushed me back in.” The rag fell from his head as he sat up, clutching her hand between both of his. “And then when I came back out in the shrine, I was so fucking relieved. Because--because even if I knew you were safe and happy here, I would still be completely lost without you.” 

“I’d be lost without _ you. _ I did three years of that, and I _ chose _to never have to do it again.” Tears pricked her eyes, and she pulled him even closer, so his elbows rested on the bed. If she hadn’t promised not to get mad, she would have seriously considered throttling him. “Did you even think about the baby?”

He swore. “Why do ya think I’ve been like this all night? Just thinking about what could have happened makes me sick.” 

With as much strength she could muster, she tugged on his arms. “Get up here, you jerk.”

When he had squeezed into the remaining space in her bed, she tapped his forehead hard a couple of times. “Don’t you ever, _ ever _do something like that again, Inuyasha. You don’t have the right to take the choice to be with you away from me--even if you think you’re helping. Even if it seems like the right thing to do.” 

“I know.” His palm smoothed over her abdomen. One ear flicked, and she wondered if Grandpa had been right, and the baby was actually moving around more than she thought. “I’m sorry. But at least we know it works--” 

“Don’t. Ever.” She put as much fire into her words as she could muster. Both arms wrapped tight around his waist. “Now shut up and hold me.” 

He did, burying his face into her neck for good measure. Kagome couldn’t hold back the tears. What if his fears had been right, and she was stuck here without him? Having her mom and Sota and Grandpa by her side would have helped, but...she’d lost the chance to say goodbye to her friends in the Feudal Era once before. Having that happen again was her worst nightmare. 

“I love you,” she heard him mumble. “Shit, I love you so much I don’t know how it’s possible.” 

Despite the storm of feelings in her heart, she nestled deeper into his embrace. Her voice was scratchy with tears. “I love you too.” 

After a moment, his ear twitched, fluttering against the side of Kagome’s head. “Can I tell you something else?” 

“Is it going to make me more mad at you?”

“Um...yeah. Probably.”

“Then no.” She kicked at his leg a little with her foot. “Wait until the morning.”

* * *

Kagura startled at the knock on her door. Hurriedly she pulled the green kimono on over her kosode--despite being a bit damp, it was fine compared to the other two layers of her outfit. Regardless of who it was, she didn’t have a desire to be seen half-dressed. 

Sliding the door open an inch, she was startled to see Kohaku standing in the hall, both arms held behind his back. “What is it?”

“Can I talk to you?” 

“Make it quick.” 

She let him in. The room was small; much of the floor space was covered with squares of fabric holding strange-smelling herbs, along with several unused pestle and mortar sets. It wasn’t bad, though; the futon in the corner was comfortable, and Shippo had even left her a jug and basin full of clean water. Kagura had hung her kimonos to dry on a low-hanging beam by the window, and her fan on a half-unfurled cloth. 

Kohaku sat beside the futon. His face was red from the vigorous rubbing Sango had given it with a towel; Kagura wondered for the first time if he enjoyed being treated so gently by his sister, despite his years. In all her personal dealings with the taijiya woman, it had been obvious that she cared deeply for her brother; but Kagura had always assumed that was due to the shard in his back. Now, she considered that maybe it had always been that way. 

Kohaku sighed. “I think Nagisa and Akari are the cause of the storm.” 

“Who’s that?” She yawned pointedly. 

“The two goddesses. Akari is the one that Lady Kagome spoke to in her trance--Rin’s friend. And Nagisa is the one that Lord Sesshomaru killed.” He pulled something from his sleeve and held it out to her. “I tried to give this back to Nagisa, along with the appeasement ritual.”

“That was dumb of you.” 

“It revived her, somehow.” He shook his head. “And then Akari interrupted. When they disappeared, they left this behind--look.” 

Kagura peered at the jar lid in his hand warily. The surface of the object was covered in tiny cracks. Hadn’t it had some kind of design, before? 

“That image used to be of the sun’s rays. Now it’s been scratched out.” Kohaku’s arm dropped to his side as he sighed heavily. “I was just trying to bring her peace...”

“How do you even know it’s their doing? The jars are broken, and they seemed pretty helpless without them.” Kagura crossed both arms over her chest. The boy looked so despondent over creatures that weren’t even his responsibility. 

_ I suppose that’s the burden Kohaku has chosen to bear, ever since being freed from Naraku. _

“Who else would it be?” His eyes bore into hers. She shrugged. 

“Any of the other storm gods, throwing a tantrum. For all you know, those two went back to the divine realm to cause trouble there, and it’s making the weather go berserk in this realm.” 

“Hm. I guess that could be true.” 

She nodded at the jar lid. “Does anyone else know you took that?”

“Sango and Miroku. Inuyasha and Kagome left before I could tell them.” 

Kagura strode across the room, checking on her fan’s drying progress. “Well, then maybe they’ll know how to solve the problem. It doesn’t matter to me what happens; I’m just finding a place to stay until the rain lets up.” 

Kohaku’s lips turned up in a smile, as if she’d made a joke. Kagura realized with a sinking feeling that he would never take her statement seriously, knowing she’d come to the fire deities’ rescue with all the rest. If he was bold enough to ask why, she didn’t know what she would say.

“You know, you already have a sister to give you advice,” she snapped, gesturing to the door. “And I have a lot of sleep to catch up on.” 

“Oh! Of course. Sorry.” He straightened up, giving her a quick bow. “Good night, Kagura.” 

As the door shut, she heard him make an exclamatory noise out in the hall. Just as she had flipped her fan over to dry the other side, another knock shook the door frame.

“I told you, I’m--” she yanked it open, words dying on her lips to see Sesshomaru looking pissed off (as usual) in front of her. “Oh, it’s you.” 

“Were you expecting someone else?” His tone was chilly; Kagura rolled her eyes. 

“Hey, I’m not the one who made you come out in the rain to stoke some damn fire. What are you snapping at me for?” 

Something in his face changed; after a second he took a step back. Confusion fizzled on her tongue, and she swallowed it to say, “What do you want?” 

“What was your purpose being at the shrine today?” 

“Same as yours, I suppose.” She opened the door a little wider, leaning one shoulder against the frame; green wasn’t exactly her color, but then he wasn’t looking, anyway. “If this is about the lid, I didn’t take it. Kohaku did.” 

“Did he tell you why?” Something in Sesshomaru’s tone sounded strange...almost like sarcasm, but not quite. Instead of answering, she tilted her head and tried to decipher it. 

_ Wait... _

“Hang on.” Both hands fisted against her hips. “Are you seriously jealous of a sixteen year old human boy? Because if you are, that’s both stupid and sick--what kind of woman do you think I am?” 

Outside of the implication, this was almost as funny as his earlier rain-soaked appearance had been. Had he seen Kohaku leaving her room and made some kind of perverse assumption? Was this why he was always glaring at her fan like he wanted to shred it? 

The daiyokai gave her a withering look. “Once again, you choose to misunderstand. If the taijiya boy commanded the goddess’ attention, and such actions have put others in danger, then he must be held accountable.” 

“Not if they’re not the ones creating the storm. It could be their maker. You know, the _ storm _god?” Despite his quick explanation, Kagura hoped that she was at least a little bit right about the jealousy thing. It would be nice to have another way to get under Sesshomaru’s skin, one that was a little more fun than the regular things. “I met him after drinking from the cup. He seemed like the type to go off in a big dramatic fashion.” 

“You are similar in that way.” His expression remained aloof, even as she stuck out her tongue at him.

“Hey, it’s not a tantrum if it’s warranted--” 

“Why are you here, Kagura?”

_ Damn dog is still terrible at mutual conversation. _“Because, Sesshomaru, the fields were flooding. This was the closest place to dry off.”

“So you have not returned to the forest.” 

“It would be stupid of me if I did.” 

“Agreed.” He didn’t move to leave. 

“Uh...is that all?” 

A growl of annoyance rumbled in his chest. It sent her stomach twisting; what did he have to be upset about? She hadn’t put herself in harm’s way, and she’d even helped his favorite little human with the day’s project. Indignation sparked through her veins, and in a moment she’d flung the door wide open to step into the hall. 

“Seriously, what is with you? You talk up and down about my fucking attitude, but you’ve been acting completely crazy lately. You kill for me, but then you act mad, like I made you do it. One day you’re threatening to kill me, and the next it’s some bullshit about not forgiving me if I do or don’t do whatever. Now, you’re--”

His hand came up to grip her jaw, stilling the words. She didn’t bother to worry about the poison anymore; if he’d wanted her dead, there would have been a million chances for it by now. Instead she just glared at him, arms still crossed over her chest. 

“It is not easy for me to deal with you.” Sesshomaru could hear the wind sorceress’ heartbeat increasing as he held her still. The next words struggled to form on his tongue. “I am not as unreasonable as you assume. It would be clear, if only you didn’t refuse to be patient.”

“This is exhausting,” she sighed. “For once, just fucking spit it out. Whatever it is you’re saying...” 

“I do not expect you to understand my every action.” His grip on her loosened, giving her the opportunity to pull away. When Kagura remained still, he continued. “But, despite the various outcomes of such things, the reasoning behind them remains the same. I--”

“Lord Sesshomaru?” Rin waddled out into the hall, still wrapped in blankets. Her voice was heavy with drowsiness; both eyelids were already drooping back into half-sleep. “D’you know where your room is? Shippo want’d me to ask...” 

Kagura almost wished she was still evil, because then she would have not had the swell of guilt that followed her poisonous desire to shut the girl up. 

“Rin.” Sesshomaru pulled away from the wind witch. “Go back to sleep.”

“Yes, Lord Sesshomaru.” The last syllable was drawn out in a yawn, as the girl wandered back out of sight. Kagura took a deep breath through her nose, already knowing how this was going to go. As soon as they made eye contact, he’d straighten up like nothing had happened and disappear, only to bug her for some other reason tomorrow. God, this was getting tedious. Wouldn't it just be better to stop playing this game--there were only a dozen painful ends to it, anyway. 

“Kagura.” His hand closed on her jaw again, yanking it back up. She kept her eyes on the front of his robe, not wanting to be stung by the same expression that she’d seen a dozen times. 

“What?” She hadn’t intended to keep talking, but the words flooded from her lips before she could stop them. “What do you have to say? More admonishments about how I should be more careful, or more brave? Or are you just going to say that I’m yours? Because if it’s the last thing, then I can assure you, that isn’t so and won’t be. I don’t need another master tying me down.” 

Immediately, she knew that she should have just stayed quiet. The daiyokai’s expression didn’t change, but the gold in his eyes now carried a heavy red tint. Once again, his hand fell away to his side; this time, he stepped back with it. 

“I see.” Nodding solemnly, he turned. Just as she’d expected him to, except now being right carried an extra layer of frustration that was directed entirely inward. “I will leave you, then.” 

As soon as he’d cleared the corner, Kagura dove back into her room, slamming the door shut. _ Well, shit. That was entirely the wrong thing to say. _

_ But what else am I supposed to do? Chasing him around only ended up with me in a field of bloody flowers. And, don’t forget, several years without a body. If that stupid god hadn’t resurrected me, I wouldn’t even have this-- _ her hand pressed to where her heart lay. _ I’m not stupid enough to throw that away for anyone, no matter how handsome. _

Across the room, the pieces of the kimono that he’d given her fluttered slightly. Oh; her anxiety was spiking the air into small slashes of wind. Forcing her eyes closed, she tried to calm down. 

_ It’s fine that this is over before it truly started. It’s _ ** _fine_ ** _ \--that’s just the price of freedom. _

_ And I’ve paid higher prices before. _

* * *

“It’s not here.”

“But this is where you left it.”

“I know, but it’s not _ here!” _ Akari punched at the mud. It splattered coldly over the front of her robe and up her neck. Though the storm raging around them made it hard to see, she was absolutely positive that this was where the cup had been before. Nagisa bent down at her side, wiping rain from her eyes. 

“It’s okay.” The poisoned goddess rested a hand on her sister’s back. Her raspy voice strained to be heard over the wind. “You should--”

“I’m not leaving you again.” Akari shook her head. Wet strands of hair stuck to the side of her face; if she’d been human, perhaps it would have been uncomfortable. But it was comforting, almost _nice_, to feel the features of her body settling more in this realm. “We need the cup, or else your water will have the poison in it...” 

Nagisa frowned, eying the dark veins of her arm. After a moment, she croaked, “Could you ask your priestess?”

“She’s in another time and won’t be any help to us.” Akari almost wished the woman--she couldn't remember her name, if it had even come up--had experienced more trouble using the jar. Akari had meant it as a blessing, of course, but the speed at which the priestess had removed herself from the current world seemed rather inconvenient now. “What about you? Anyone?”

“I didn’t make contact with any of the creatures here.” Nagisa bit her lip. “Well, at least not the friendly kind of contact…”

Standing from the mud, Akari held out both arms to let the rain and wind cleanse the palms of her hands. 

“Then we don’t have any other choice.” 


	25. Twenty

When she awoke the next morning, the rain and wind hadn’t eased. Kagura groaned as she realized this meant she’d still be stuck with the group from yesterday. Including the Western Lord who she had quite awkwardly rejected the previous night. 

Steeling herself for some dark looks, she dressed in her now-dry kimonos and went to the main room. Breakfast was steamed rice and soup, which Rin and the kitsune set out much too proudly for something so easy to make. Miroku sat cross-legged against the wall with his back to her, studying something intently. 

_ His robes aren’t damp, so the family must have stayed here last night. I’m sure the children found that quite fun. _Just as the thought crossed her mind, she was attacked by several small hands. 

“Hi, lady!” Two identical faces, one with green bows and one with pink, peeked up at her as they tugged on her kimono. Pink Bows--the one who had spoken--gave her a big grin that Kagura did _ not _return. 

“Get off,” she snapped, twisting in a futile attempt to free herself. The girls must have assumed it was a game, for they simply giggled and gripped the fabric harder. 

“Can you fly, Lady? Like Kilala?” 

“Will you take us flying? Pretty pretty please?” 

“Girls,” Miroku called over his shoulder, eyes wide with unease. “Come sit with me.” 

“But Daaaad,” they whined in unison; Green Bows even went so far as to pout. Kagura tried to communicate to the monk with her eyes that her patience was limited and he did not want to find out what happened when she reached the end of it. 

“I have a special job for you,” Miroku sing-songed; immediately, both girls perked up. “I need four very sharp eyes over here at the window. It’s very important that we keep watch for any of the villagers who might blow away in the wind. Especially Lady Kaede, with her billowing robes--why, she might fly right over the wall, and we can’t have that, can we?” 

“Nooooo, not Lady Kaede!” 

Pink Bows finally released Kagura’s skirt and ran over to her father. After a moment, Green Bows followed, though still with a bit of a frown. 

“We keep watch, Daddy.” 

“Ah, what a relief,” the monk crooned, patting each girls’ head. 

_ Geez, watching people parent is depressing. _

Cursing under her breath, Kagura moved towards the table of breakfast items. She stopped short so as not to run into Jaken, as he strode in with the air of someone who had not enjoyed their previous night’s rest. 

“Watch your step, witch,” He muttered darkly, claws rubbing at his head. A sneeze erupted from his beak. 

“Breakfast, Master Jaken?” Rin offered him a bowl. He sighed and snatched it from her grasp without so much as a thanks. “Where’s Lord Sesshomaru?” 

“Dressing,” Jaken snorted. “This blasted weather has completely ruined our plans. But as he is a brilliant warlord, well-used to the twists and turns of fate, you are not to worry your silly little mind over it.” 

“Okay.” Rin picked up another bowl and turned to Kagura. “Would you like some?”

She took the food with a muttered thanks. This kind of thing had not occurred to her as a consequence of hiding from the weather in the village; thankfully, the strangeness was reduced slightly through Kagome and Inuyasha’s absence. At least now she could focus entirely on eating.

Sango and Kohaku came in together as she was halfway finished; they sat down on the other side of the table. Looseness in the taijiya woman’s top clearly indicated she’d just fed her son. The little boy raced towards Kagura as soon as his mother set him on the floor. In her desperation to get away from him--_ what the hell’s with these kids-- _she ran to the doorway of the main room. 

Which, of course, sent her colliding straight into the person she most did not want to see. 

“Ah, Lord Sesshomaru!” Rin bowed in greeting. “I saved some for you.”

Kagura felt her face burn as she stepped aside with a muttered apology. The toddler started for her again, but luckily Kohaku managed to snag him before he could reach her. Kagura was left standing awkwardly as Sesshomaru went to Rin. It was as though the sorceress did not exist to him, nor had she just barely avoided impaling herself on his pauldron. Kohaku raised an eyebrow at her, searching for an explanation, but Kagura just shook her head in annoyance. 

_ So this is how he’s going to be, from now on. And we’re still stuck in this fucking building until the rain lets up. _

_ Just another shitty day... _

* * *

“Come on, get him, get--” 

Sota twisted the controller one way, than another; beside him, Inuyasha looked at the clock on the wall for the hundredth time since Kagome and Mrs. Higurashi had left. 

“Come on, Inuyasha, this is the best game I’ve ever played, and you’re missing it!”

The hanyou just muttered something unintelligible in response.

“When _ I _don’t watch Hitomi play, she gets all huffy.”

“Well, I’m not your little girlfriend, am I?” At the first click of the front door lock, Inuyasha jumped to his feet. “Kagome?”

“I’m back,” she called. She barely got all the way in through the door before she was pulled into her husband’s arms.

“Geez, you were gone for forever! What took so damn long?” 

“The doctor’s office was busy this morning,” Mrs. Higurashi said cheerfully, pushing past the two with an armful of shopping bags that she dumped on the couch. “Also, we stepped out to pick up a few things...” 

Inuyasha gave Kagome an annoyed look. She returned it in full force. “Shippo’s going to be disappointed if we don’t bring back any candy! And we had to get the shampoo Sango likes, and something for the girls. There’s even instant ramen in there for you. You’re _wel-come._”

“Forget that!” He snapped. Everyone in the room froze, but the hanyou kept going as if he hadn’t just said something completely out of character. “What’d the doctor say?” 

“Uh...she thinks I’m about nine weeks along. Everything seems to be going like it should,” Kagome replied dazedly. “Did you hear me say there was ramen?” 

“Speaking of--Sota, why don’t you come help me with lunch?” Mrs. Higurashi said pleasantly, shaking off her surprise. The teenage boy groaned, but paused his game and got up. 

“What about going through the well? Will it hurt the baby?” Inuyasha’s nose twitched at the rustling of the shopping bags, but didn’t turn around to locate his treat. 

“Yes, Inuyasha, Dr. Inoue was very pleased to hear that I'm married to half-demon and have been living in the Feudal Era for about two years. She thinks the well is an excellent mode of transportation, much safer than using the bus system.” Kagome reached up to tug gently on one of his ears. “Are you crazy? I can’t tell a medical professional that!” 

“Well, I would’ve asked! You should’ve let me come with ya.” He frowned, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. Kagome poked it with the tip of one finger. 

“Oh, come on, Inuyasha. I love you, but you would have totally freaked out. And when you freak out, I freak out.”

“_ I’m _ freaked out that he hasn’t torn through these to get the ramen yet,” Sota called over his shoulder as he carried half of the shopping bags to the kitchen. 

“You should ask about that stuff,” Inuyasha sighed, dragging them both an inch towards the kitchen. “They’re gonna find out anyway, when the kid comes out lookin’ weirder than normal.”

“They’re only going to be a quarter demon. How different can they look?” Kagome gave him as warm a smile as she could muster. “And even if there are some, er, more unique features, everyone’s going to be so happy to meet them that it won’t matter at all.” 

“I guess.” He still looked troubled; Kagome wondered how much of what he was feeling was due to spending this much time in a world he was unfamiliar with, and how much was rooted in his childhood experiences. And that wasn’t even taking into account that they had left their friends behind with the goddess problem unresolved... 

“Never mind that; we still have plenty of time.” For many other discussions, as well--like in which time period she wanted to give birth, or how often she would switch between the two now that her primary home was with him. “Are you hungry?” 

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” He sniffed the air dramatically, and that familiar excitement lit in his eyes. “Damn, your mom’s fast at makin’ that stuff.” 

As silly as it was, Kagome was flooded with relief. 

* * *

“Lord Sesshomaru, are you going to stay another night?” Rin sat beside her lord, shivering slightly as the rain pounded against the walls of the house. The daiyokai didn’t move to comfort her, but simply having him there was nice. He’d never stayed for longer than a single day, since she’d moved into the village. 

“Yes.” Gold eyes went to where Jaken was slumped in the corner, groaning under his breath. “Jaken’s health seems to be compromised.” 

“He wouldn’t eat much at breakfast,” Rin mused. “I wonder if he’s sick from being out in the rain?” 

“Weak little creature.” Sesshomaru regretted deeply not picking a sturdier servant. He himself would have braved the weather if only to escape the banality of staying in the village with nothing to occupy his time. Though, Rin did seem to welcome his attention. 

“I’m sorry, Lord Sesshomaru.” The girl bowed her head. “He would be well if the two of you hadn’t come after me.”

That was true. Rin had been foolish, and in doing so she’d caused them trouble. From the worry on her face, she was well-aware of it, too. 

Before he could begin to scold her, a sudden chill swept over them; it knocked the twin swords together, and swept Rin’s bangs up from her forehead. She gave a little surprised shriek; the noise melded with Jaken’s pained screech as he was pushed over by the gust. 

Sesshomaru’s eyes snapped up to the other side of the room, where Kagura was shaking out her fan. The action had sent errant winds bouncing throughout the room, tickling the back of his neck. 

“Whoops.” She shrugged. 

Rin smiled in acceptance of the non-apology, but Sesshomaru felt irritation burn in his chest. All the emotions of the previous night swelled--curiosity, longing, embarrassment, rage. 

“Wind witch,” he snarled. Her eye-roll only incensed him more. “You are past the point of being tolerable. Take your leave.” 

Kagura lowered her fan slowly. His words were familiar, as was his anger, but something was different. She’d made it different, when they’d talked in the hall last night. In every moment that he’d acted disinterested, or frustrated, this was the first time Kagura felt cut down by pure disgust. 

Rin and Jaken must have felt it too, for they both looked alarmed. The latter sat up to stare at his lord. Sesshomaru’s eyes locked with Kagura’s for a split second before he looked away with a growl. 

Somehow, this hurt more than most of what he’d ever done. The hand against her throat, calling her a coward, leaving her alone on the roof…

_ You’re the one who rejected him, Kagura. What did you expect? _

She couldn’t stay in the room another fucking second; in a moment her bare feet were slapping the wooden beams of the floor. Then the door to the house was open, and Kagura was swallowed up in the storm. 

The beating rain was a relief; sharp, furious winds dragged her forwards. She allowed them to carry her through the village, mud caking up to her ankles. The fabric of her kimonos, heavy with rain, sank into her shoulders. Unlike yesterday, she welcomed the feeling. 

One final shove from the winds had her nearly stumbling on the steps of the shrine. The tatami mats, though shaking wildly, remained affixed to the openings in each of the altars outside. Kagura ducked inside the holy space with a gasp, shaking from the water’s chill. Rivers spilled from the edge of her skirt. They carved their way through the stone, down the shrine steps. 

In front of her rested the shroud. Amongst the fruit and flowers, the scarlet cup stood proud. Her fingers twitched; why was she feeling so drawn to it, all of a sudden? 

Settling on her knees in front of the altar, she took a deep, shuddering breath. 

Kagura was alone. 

So what? She _ wanted _to be alone. It wasn’t like anyone outside of herself could truly be trusted, anyway. Even if they acted like they cared, like they wanted to help, it didn’t make anything stop being total shit. The past would never change; the nightmares would never leave. 

This guilt, shame, grief, whatever this was--she could live with that. As long as her heart kept beating, it didn’t matter how twisted it became. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she hissed to herself. The words came out sharp and jagged. Water ran down her legs and arms. Her neck. Her chin. What a mess it would be, drying the shrine out... 

Her fingers pressed against the edge of the cup, feeling the curved smoothness of the clay. If she drank from it again, and went back to that bright place, would the gods only laugh at her? Kill her on the spot, maybe? The bearded man’s terrible smile flooded her mind; Naraku’s voice from her dreams superimposed on top of his, making her shudder. 

_ Why not? _

Pulling the object from the offerings, she pressed the edge against her lips. Was it the clay or her body that made it cold? If she let the rain drip from her bangs into the cup, would that make a difference as to where in the divine realm she would end up? 

Maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe nothing she ever did would make any kind of difference to anything. 

“What are you doing?” 

Kagura startled, dropping the cup. Luckily it didn’t break, only rolled to the foot of the altar. Quickly she bent to snatch it up, before turning around to see who had interrupted her. Fear came in a flood, as red eyes locked with pale ones.

Standing in the rain behind her was the same goddess who’d put her in the jar.


	26. Twenty One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A. So, part of the reason I update so fast is that I don't stop writing when I come to a good 'stopping' place at the end of a chapter--I just literally keep going as far as momentum will carry me and carve out the chapters later. 
> 
> B. I really appreciate the consistently positive comments I've been getting. The story's taken a bit of a detour, as I wasn't planning when I started it to have Kagome/Inuyasha be able to go back through the well or for Sesshomaru to get shot down, haha. But I can still clearly see the path to the end, so nobody panic!!! I have every intention of finishing this work.

Akari’s dark robe seemed to fade into the storm. Her words were strangely clear, as though she was right by Kagura’s ear rather than several feet outside of the shrine. Kagura tried to calm the pounding of her heart by reminding herself that the woman didn’t have a jar anymore. And the wind was a power they both shared. 

Not that it would mean much, with the current weather... 

“Give me the cup.” The goddess snapped, lip curled. “It’s my Father’s.” 

“He resurrected me too,” Kagura found herself saying. It felt like she was split in two, watching herself respond to the goddess. Somehow, she sounded calm. “In fact, I was first.”

That little point seemed to unnerve the deity; her mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she took a forceful step closer. “That doesn’t matter. It’s  _ mine. _ ” 

“Will you go back?” Kagura replied, eyes narrowing. “Or are you planning to fuck with this realm some more, first?”

“It’s not just for transcension,” Akari sighed, as if Kagura was a dumb little human child. Again, she moved forward; Kagura reacted by pulling her arm back, as if to smash the cup against the wall. 

“Why should I give this up, after what you did to me?” She snarled, eyes blazing. “You and your bitch of a sister have tried to kill me twice. Not even counting this fucking storm.” 

The rain streaking down the deity’s face almost looked like scars, as she frowned. “Nagisa and I want nothing more with you. We tried to survive in this place, in these forms, but we have new plans now. The humans have been kind to us--taken care of our slain brothers.” She gestured to the altars with one arm. “We wouldn’t seek to harm them--the storm has nothing to do with us.” 

So she’d been right, after all. Kagura kept her arm back, imagining the satisfying smash of clay against stone and the woman’s broken face. “So you’re saying you’ll leave me in peace?” 

The deity nodded solemnly. 

“I don’t believe you.” 

Akari shouted in wordless frustration; winds battered the entrance of the shrine in earnest as she yelled, “It’s not fair! They sent you back to a world that you already knew!  _ You have it easy!”  _

“Is that what you think?” Kagura stood. Her bare foot almost slipped -- the stone floor was slick from the rain dripping off her. “I had it easy?

My creator was a monster who drained the life from everything in these lands. It didn’t matter how many people he tormented or destroyed, if they were part of him or not--all he cared about was power. I didn’t have the choice to give him my heart; up until he killed me, the bastard wouldn’t even let me have that.” 

Akari’s face paled; perhaps she knew who Naraku was, somehow, despite being born long after his death. Either that, or Kagura’s expression terrified her. 

“When your asshole Father resurrected me, I didn’t even know. My body just  _ appeared _ , one day--so I was perfectly fine to mind my own business. But that doesn’t mean it was fucking easy! Trying to make sure my heart stays here--” she pressed her free hand to her chest-- “instead of in someone else’s fist has actually been pretty fucking difficult. Especially with whiny little brats like you running around.”

_ Especially when keeping it safe still hurts so much.  _ Kagura moved to stand just outside the entrance of the shrine, water pouring from the roof down onto her back. The cold river split between her shoulder-blades, following the track of her spine.

“I don’t give a damn what you think--if you ever come near me again, I’ll rip your head from your body and make what’s left of you dance!” 

Twisting her arm, she flung the cup straight at the goddess’ weepy eyes. 

Winds raced up to snatch the vessel about an inch from Akari’s nose, holding it aloft in the air. With careful hands, the goddess reached up to grab it. Her expression was a mixture of relief, shock, and fear. 

“ _ Leave!”  _

She was gone before Kagura’s angry scream had stopped echoing. Lungs aching, the wind witch sat heavily on the steps of the shrine. Rain continued to pound her on all sides. 

Fuck it all. Why not just drown? 

* * *

“Erm, Lord Sesshomaru--” Jaken interrupted himself with a pair of sneezes. 

“What is it?” 

“The wind witch has still not returned.” 

Did his servant think he was so unintelligent to not have noticed that himself? It didn’t matter, anyway; he’d told her to go, and she had. That was the end of it. 

When he didn’t respond, Jaken continued. “Would you like me to go ask about where she may be, my lord?” 

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. Jaken didn’t care for Kagura; that was clear to any creature with two eyes and some semblance of a brain. “Why would I want that?” 

“Well, because…it seems...or perhaps you...” Jaken twiddled his claws together. After another sneeze, he gave up. “Never mind.”

Before he could fully ponder the strangeness of that, Rin perked up on his other side. She’d been sorting a series of herbs (“for Lady Kagome when she gets back!”) that now lay on a long stretch of fabric at her feet. She’d pointed out several to him, as well as their healing properties. He didn’t pretend to have any interest in them, but that didn’t seem to faze her. “Master Jaken means to say that you might be worrying about Lady Kagura, since she’s your friend.”

“Jaken,” Sesshomaru drawled, glaring at the sputtering imp. “You are not to concern yourself with such imaginings.” 

“My lord, I--”

“But Lord Sesshomaru,” the girl interrupted, leaning forward on both hands. “Lady Kagura went out in the storm. It’s very dangerous.” 

“If she gets herself into trouble, then that is nothing to do with me.” 

Rin’s eyebrows knit together. “Of course it does. You were confessing to her last night, weren’t you?” 

Jaken leapt up and ran to the other side of the room for safety. Sesshomaru could only find one coherent thought in the explosion of---what was it? Rage? Disgust? Something else?--that consumed him: _thank every deity in existence that none of the humans were here for this conversation. _

“I did no such thing,” he managed to say between the grit of his teeth. 

“Yes, you did.” She sounded so casual, like they were discussing what to have for dinner and not something that definitely would have been embarrassing for him if it had actually happened. “She was yelling at you, and you got all close like you were going to kiss her.”

“You were half-asleep. What you remember of the experience is far from accurate.” 

Jaken sneezed in agreement. 

“Oh?” Shaking her head in what he was starting to consider may be  _ feigned  _ confusion, Rin replied, “I was sure it was something like that...what did you say to her, then?”

“She was making accusations. I informed her that they were unfounded.” He hoped that that would be the end of it. But just as Jaken was slinking back to his side, Rin clapped both hands together. 

“Ah! But Lord Sesshomaru, she said something about being yours, didn’t she?” 

Jaken froze. If he was trying to play dead, then he had to know it would never work. But perhaps, when focused on survival that cannot be fully ensured, the brain does what it can. 

“Kagura,” Sesshomaru said very,  _ very  _ carefully, “belongs to no one but herself. She has no intentions to be at my side. Now stop talking about such foolish things.”

“Yes, Rin!” Jaken rushed forward to press both hands against the girl’s mouth. She pulled them away, squealing, as he continued, “For heaven’s sake, keep such senseless questions and thoughts to yourself! Lord Sesshomaru is much too good for a woman like that!” 

The Western Lord frowned in annoyance. For some reason, that sounded more like comforting a rejected person than it did a genuine compliment. And he hadn’t been rejected, because he hadn’t asked her anything. 

Not that he had anything to ask, in the first place. 

Whipping his head around, he glared at the window. 

The weather  _ did  _ look pretty terrible...

* * *

“Sis, you’re happy with Inuyasha, right?” 

Kagome looked up very slowly from where she was painting her nails. Her brother blinked at her from the couch, where he’d been quietly doing his homework. He’d obviously been sitting on the question for a while; just a few moments ago, the man in question had gone out to help her grandfather with something yard-work related. 

“Of course I’m happy with him. I married him, didn’t I?”

Sota rubbed one page in his textbook between his thumb and forefinger. “Then why is he so clingy all the time? It’s like he thinks any minute you’re going to run off and never come back.” 

_ So other people have noticed that. _ “It’s kind of complicated, Sota…”

Sota’s eyebrow ticked upwards. “Did you cheat on him, or something?” 

“ _ What _ ? No!” If her nails weren’t wet, she would have thrown something at him. “Look, being apart for so many years was difficult for him. You know Inuyasha; it takes him a while to trust people, and then once he does he gets really attached. Also...a lot of people he’s cared about has either died or disappeared on him.”

“Is he scared that’s what will happen to you?” 

“I think so.” Kagome brushed back a lock of hair, then immediately checked to see that her pinky nail was smudged with blue. Groaning in frustration, she reached for the tissue box. “It’s not like we’re  _ never  _ apart, you know.”

“Sure.” He nodded. “He was okay for like, half an hour when you were at your appointment this morning.” 

She blushed deeply. “I mean longer than that. Like, there’s been days we haven’t seen each other.  _ Multiple  _ instances, since I went back.” 

“I’m not trying to embarrass you, sis.” Sota turned the page, marking something down. “It’s just...Hitomi and I have been together for a long time, and we’re not as obsessed with each other as you and him.” 

“We’re not obsessed with each other!” Kagome snapped. Opening the nail polish, she re-painted her pinky nail carefully. “It’s normal for people to have anxiety about stuff like that when they’ve been through a lot of difficult things.” 

“Well, you left us too. And I don’t act like he does.” 

The edge of the brush streaked Ocean Blue You across the tip of her finger. “Sota…”

Her brother’s eyes stayed on the page. Kagome wracked her brain for the right words. 

“People can react all kinds of ways to the same stressful thing. It doesn’t mean that one person is handling it right and another is handling it wrong.” Dipping the corner of her tissue into a capful of nail polish remover, she added, “Even if some behaviors are more healthy than others.” 

“You mean, like, if Inuyasha had other people spying on you for him all the time?”

“Sure, that’s a good example.” Luckily, Kagome was sure her husband didn’t do that kind of thing.  _ He’s matured  _ ** _some_ ** _ in the past few years.  _

“Or if Mom or Grandpa broke the well so you guys couldn’t go back to the Feudal Era?” 

“Yeah." _Or asking every woman you meet to bear your child, or trying to drag your ex-lover with you to Hell, or making a pact to kill your zombified brother and then yourself. _ "But just feeling nervous when I’m gone for a long time is understandable.”

“What about wearing your jacket? Because Mom does that, sometimes--when she misses you, she puts on something from your closet.” Sota looked up to meet her eyes. “And Grandpa is always praying in the shrine every morning that you’ll be safe. And...and I used to write you letters. Right after you first left. It was just dumb stuff about school, and friends, and things like that.” He shrugged. “But it helped get used to you being gone.” 

“Really? You did that?” Kagome felt tears prick her eyes. Unfortunately, rubbing at them just smudged the nail polish on two more fingers. “Ugh, for the love of--can you help me?”

Sota gave a little laugh, reaching for the nail polish bottle. “Sure, sis.” 

“And…” she hesitated. “Would you maybe show me the letters, some time? Only if you want to.” 

Her brother smiled, pulling her hand closer to inspect it. “Yeah. That’d be okay.” 

* * *

Even with the rain hat and jacket bundled around him, Shippo regretted leaving Inuyasha’s house immediately. But he’d seen Kagura racing out the door in even less. It had been half an hour, and she hadn’t come back; Shippo couldn’t deny that it made him nervous. If she’d fought with Lord Sesshomaru again, then he supposed she wanted to be alone. But to go out in such weather? It was the kind of stupid thing Inuyasha might have done (and Kagome would have gotten mad at him for). 

The fox convinced himself that the adults would probably be proud of him if he went to search for her. Even if all that happened was that she was soaked to the bone--and even though she still wasn’t exactly their  _ friend-- _ if he could help, then he should. And if something terrible happened to her, then it would be horrible to know he could have prevented it.

Fox-fire lit his way through the crop fields, flooded as they were with mud and grime. The wind bearing down from the sky seemed to push in one direction. Shippo let it carry him; it was easier than trying to fight against it. 

_ If I don’t find her soon, then I’ll go back,  _ he promised himself. _ Kagome has a secret stash of hot chocolate somewhere in the house; Emi and Keiko will probably help me find it… _

As he headed up the path, the winds directed him towards the shrine. Squinting, he could make out a dark figure settled on the steps. What the heck was she doing, sitting outside? Just a few feet and she’d be inside where it was at least dry…

With great effort, he made it over. Kagura glared at him from her position; hands crossed over her chest, her outfit completely soaked through. Black hair swam over her shoulders. When he looked down, he saw that both of Kagura’s feet were covered in mud that also stained the edge of her kimonos.

The pure defeat in her eyes stunned him. 

Shippo knew that look well; he’d seen it in the faces of his comrades many times, during their fight against Naraku. Not as much since they’d made a home in the village, and certainly less after Kagome had returned. But every once in a while, sometimes it would slip out. 

_ She looks hopeless...even more so than when she was let out of the jar.  _

Resolved, Shippo stretched out a hand to her. “Come with me.” 

Kagura shook her head. He added, “Not to Inuyasha’s house.” 

She refused to take his hand, but after a moment Kagura did stand. Together, they left the shrine steps to slog back towards the village houses.

* * *

The old priestess’ surprise at their unexpected visit didn’t last long. 

“You look as if you’ve been swimming,” Kaede chortled at the wind witch, tossing a pair of ugly old robes at her. “Unfortunately these are all I have. They’re back-ups for when Kagome and Rin assist in midwifery. Clean, but…”

“Whatever,” Kagura sniffed, shifting behind the screen set against the wall to change. Shippo and Kaede chatted loudly while she unstuck the wet fabric from her skin. 

“Did Inuyasha and Kagome say when they would be back, child?”

“No, Lady Kaede. I hope the storm doesn’t last too long, or they might get stuck.”

“Hm. It’s very strange weather. No lightning and thunder, but so much rain and wind? Very, very curious indeed.”

_ It’s not that curious,  _ Kagura thought poisonously, yanking her arm free of one sleeve.  _ Who cares, anyway.  _

Exhaustion dragged her limbs down and made her vision fuzzy; as soon as the new outfit was on, she felt a powerful urge to lay down and sleep.  _ Why did I follow him here? To a priestess’ house, of all places. This is the  _ ** _opposite_ ** _ of remaining by myself... _

“All done, then.” Kaede used the end of a broomstick to lift her sopping clothes from the floor, depositing them in a nearby bucket. “I’ll hang those later. For now, we’ll let them soak to see how much mud comes off.” 

Shippo was sitting on one large cushion in a set of four, pushed against a wall full of sutras and charms. Both hands busily dried his tail with a big blue towel. Another lay folded on top of the table; Kagura stretched to reach it, eyeing the religious items cautiously. Squeezing the water from her hair took a good few minutes, leaving the towel damp in her hands. 

“Kaede makes really good stew,” he said cheerily, as if Kagura was an old friend that he’d come across by casual means. “And she knows how to play cards.” 

“Aye,” the woman said proudly, coming to sit on the cushion opposite the fox. “I don’t suppose you’d fancy a game?”

“Sure!” He smiled brightly at Kagura. “You can watch the first game to learn, and then play the second!”

_ Well, this is fucking ridiculous and not at all how I thought I’d spend the day.  _ Dragging the cushion away from the table, she sat with her chin resting in her hand. The old priestess dug a deck of cards from her sleeve and waved them in Kagura’s face.

“Now watch carefully, demon. This little kitsune likes to cheat.” 


	27. Twenty Two

Her daughters had left the room they’d stayed overnight in quite a mess--mud streaked across the floors, and various articles of clothing lay crumpled along the wall. Though she knew that her friends wouldn’t mind much, Sango didn’t want them to return home just to have to clean up. So she spent the better part of her morning working to make the space presentable again. 

She’d just finished folding the futons back into neat rectangles when her Miroku came in. 

“Keiko is pretty sure she saw a ghost upstairs. Kohaku took her, Emi, and Mushin to investigate.” 

“How exciting.” Sango added as a joke, “You should give Inuyasha his money back for not properly exorcising it the first time.” 

His responding chuckle was weak; something was bothering him. Sango kept her eyes on her work--silence would always bring his explanation forward. She’d learned that much. 

“Sango,” he sighed, moving towards her. “In the past, you’ve kept much of your stress and fear hidden deep inside yourself. I’d hoped that over the years, we could learn to be more open with each other.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Miroku wrapped both arms around his wife’s waist. His chin rested comfortably on her shoulder, and she leaned back automatically into his touch. 

“In Kagome and Inuyasha’s kitchen, there is quite a lot of herbs for dealing with morning sickness. The same kind that you were so fond of when pregnant with our son.” 

Sango swore inwardly.  _ Thanks a lot, Kagome _ . 

“If keeping this to yourself is because you’re unsure what to do, then I assure you that the decision is yours entirely. But if you do not wish to continue the pregnancy, then there is only so much time--”

“It’s not me,” she stammered, reaching up to pat her husband’s cheek with a little too much force. “As sweet as your speech is, and I know you must have worked very hard on it, it’s quite unnecessary.” 

He froze, arms tightening around her. Sango could practically hear the wheels in his head grind to a stop, then abruptly shift direction. “Then do you mean--”

“It’s not really our business, is it?” Heat rose to her cheeks. Ugh, hiding anything from Miroku had gotten much more difficult once he could touch her so casually. The warmth of his front against her back...Sango just wanted to sink in and spend the long, rainy afternoon discussing this with him. For a week, the same question had been eating at her--were Kagome’s motivations at all similar to her own past experiences? 

“Well, that’s a relief.” Miroku chuckled, swaying them both side to side. “After our previous conversation, I was quite worried.” 

“Trust me, if it happens again, you’ll be the first to know.” Sango patted his cheek again, more softly than she had the first time. “I  _ have _ learned to rely more on you. For better or worse.” 

“Oh, better. Definitely better.” He pecked the spot below her ear several times in succession. Sango couldn’t help but giggle. “And how lovely for our friends, to be taking this journey.” 

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Kagome couldn’t really get mad, Sango reasoned to herself--he’d figured much of it out on his own, not to mention the evidence had been lying around for anyone to see. 

“It’s not good for a wife to keep another’s secret from her husband,” Miroku teased.

“Oh? Well, then, I suppose I must tell you.” She gave him her best impression of a wide-eyed, innocent village girl. “Our Lord Sesshomaru will be a father soon.” 

Miroku choked. Their mutual laughter filled the room, spilling out into the hall. 

* * *

Shippo couldn’t deny that he was surprised; instead of erupting in a series of snarky comments, Kagura simply watched the card game from her position half-way across the room. The sorceress didn’t even seem to notice how Kaede met his eyes several times, the question in her gaze clear.

_Why have you brought her here?_

The barest shrug of his shoulders was the only answer the kitsune could give. In the time since Naraku’s death, he’d often found the best (and sometimes the only) way he could support his friends was to distract them. When Kagome had disappeared, he’d tried to make things seem more normal by starting dumb arguments with Inuyasha, or regaling Kohaku with tales of their funnier experiences as a team. Most of the time, it worked--for an hour or so, they would smile and laugh or bicker over silly things, and Shippo wouldn’t feel helpless. Just that morning, he’d asked Rin for help with preparing breakfast so she’d have something else to think about other than the storm.

“Ah, I have a good feeling about this...” Kaede’s one good eye peered at him over the cards in her hands. Kagura gave a little snort from her position. “Sure you want to keep playing, Shippo?”

“I think you’re bluffing,” he replied loftily. Kaede had become wise to many of his tactics, but she didn’t know about the trick card that was literally up his sleeve. “What do you think, Kagura?” 

She shrugged one shoulder. Shippo chose to take that as agreement. 

“Perhaps your demon friend can duel the winner, then,” Kaede chuckled. “Which of course will be  _ me _ .” 

“Show your cards, then, old lady,” Shippo teased; he was still young enough to get away with calling her that and not be yelled at like Inuyasha. 

“Alright, then.” The woman slapped the cards flat on the table. “There, you--”

They both jumped as Kagura quite suddenly slipped from the cushion to the floor, landing on her side with a loud  _ thump _ . 

“Hey!” Shippo hurried over to her. “Was she so bored she fell asleep?” 

“I don’t think it’s that,” Kaede muttered, brushing the sorceress’ bangs back to feel her forehead. “It seems she’s passed out. Perhaps a fever…” 

“Her hands are ice cold.” Shippo struggled to shift the cushion so it lay beneath the unconscious sorceress’ head. “It’s good that I brought her here out of the rain after all…” 

* * *

_ “You really think you could ever escape me, little witch?”  _

_ Naraku’s hand tightened in her hair, pulling her head back painfully. Her arms were in chains; the basement was so dark, that if his voice wasn’t so close she might wonder if he was there at all.  _

_ “No one’s coming to save you, Kagura.” The voice crept in, settling in the hollows between her ribs. “Keeping secrets for Inuyasha and his friends won’t gain you your freedom. Only  _ ** _I _ ** _ can give you that.”  _

_ The chains bit into her wrists with his final words, as though the monster could control the exact pressure of them; Kagura wondered if maybe it was true.  _

_ Was Naraku really the entire world?  _

_ Was this a dream, or was it reality?  _

_ Maybe everything else was just something she’d made up to cope. It certainly felt real, the heat of his breath in her ear and the sting in her scalp as he yanked her head back. Her legs were unchained, but felt too leadened to move.  _

_ “Do it, then.” She managed to say. “Either set me free, or kill me. Just do it.”  _

_ His laugh filled the chamber. The chains dug even harder into her skin.  _

_ “Oh, Kagura. Don’t tell me you’ve finally lost your fear of death?” _

_ Her chest turned to stone; something was pressing in, squeezing so hard she couldn’t breathe. Fists clenching and unclenching, she struggled against it, but her lungs wouldn’t expand.  _

_ “Is this what you wanted?”  _

_ She couldn’t--things wouldn’t--the chains-- _

_ The fear was overwhelming, but deep within it, she found some small spark of peace --  _ ** _at least all of it will be over. _ **

_ Everything turned red, then white, the world around her shifting formlessly. The chains disappeared, as did her former master’s voice and presence; Kagura landed heavily on her side.  _

_ “Fuck,” she gasped, feeling air sink into her lungs. The mixture of disappointment and relief was strange. Why had she wanted to die so badly, after spending so much time trying to ensure her survival?  _

_ “Wind witch.”  _

_ Her head snapped up. Standing before her was a creature she could only describe as golden--fire blazed in his eyes, and cracks in his face and limbs showed molten lava moving like blood beneath honey-colored skin.  _

_ “Uh…” she pushed herself up, wobbling slightly on both feet. “Thanks for that.”  _

_ “It is the least I could do, after you came to my aid,” the creature said solemnly. Kagura wracked her brain trying to think when she could possibly have done such a thing. She didn’t have a chance to ask, because then the creature pointed behind her.  _

_ When she turned, Kagura found herself looking down at--well, herself.  _

_ She was in the old priestess’ home, stretched across the floor. Blankets covered her from foot to neck; was she really so pale? Shippo sat beside her, playing some kind of single-person card game. The priestess was chopping up something on the table--her voice sounded far-away, as she spoke.  _

_ “Kagome’s done well developing more demon-friendly remedies to various illnesses. This recipe should help her much.” _

_ “I hope she wakes up soon,” Shippo responded. Kagura couldn’t tell why he sounded so worried; would it really matter if she died there? It wasn’t like they were actually friends.  _

_ Well, maybe Kohaku would care. And Rin, the sensitive little thing. Kagome was easily touched, as well. And Sesshomaru… _

_ Who knew what he would think, now.  _

_ “You did well giving my sister the cup,” the creature standing beside her said; Kagura jumped, having forgotten he was there. “Since shifting to my new form, I have found peace. I hope they find it as well.”  _

_ “So you’re one of the deities,” she muttered. Who knew helping to save those fires would result in an impromptu dream-invasion…  _

_ “Yes. The name I was given was Haru.”  _

_ “Sure.” She didn’t have any intention to remember that when she woke up. “Do you know who’s creating the storm, then?” _

_ The creature nodded, staring down at the scene before them. Kagura could see that, even unconscious and covered in cloth, her body was trembling.  _

_ “My father is angry. He is fighting with His brothers, and with Mother.” _

_“They all seem to find it hard to get along, don’t they?” She rolled her eyes. “Bunch of idiots, up there.” __  
_ _Haru looked surprised for a moment; then his mouth stretched into a deep cleft and he laughed. Kagura jumped back to avoid sparks of flame. _

_ “You aren’t like the rest of us, wind witch.” At her frown, he added, “It is a compliment.”  _

_ “Well, I’m not really a fan of gods and goddesses at this point. To be honest, it would be great if all of you would just leave me alone.”  _

_ Haru nodded, eyes smoldering. “Then no more talking; I will offer my blessing.”  _

_ In his hand, a bright orange fruit appeared. He offered it to Kagura; hesitantly, she took it, if only to make him leave faster. As the world around them started to fade, his final words rang in her ear:  _

_ “We can always choose to try again in life. Death isn’t the same.”  _

“Bullshit,” she murmured. 

“Kagura?” Shippo peered down at her face. The sorceress took quick stock of a few things--warmth pressing down on her chest, still shaking-arms, and the feel of something firm in her left palm, before she slipped into a dreamless sleep. 

* * *

Night would fall shortly; Shippo didn’t really want to leave Kagura alone with Kaede, but he also knew his friends were probably wondering where he’d gone. Besides, she was unconscious; he wasn't strong enough to carry her. Using his fox-fire as a shield from the weather, he hurried back to the inn alone. As soon as he entered, Sango wrapped him up in a warm hug and scolded him for leaving. 

“I went to get Kagura,” he explained, following her into the main room. It was easy to see what activities had taken up the day; half of the room was covered with scrolls listing the details of various encampments and villages within the Western Lands’ territory, written in Jaken’s neat scrawl. The rest of the papers were decorated with crayon drawings that depicted Emi, Keiko, and Mushin’s typical work. Kagome’s herbs had been neatly arranged into piles, and Kohaku’s various pieces of armor had been neatly polished. The three children were nowhere to be found, nor was their uncle. 

Sesshomaru and Jaken sat close to the window, both looking a little burned out. Shippo couldn’t exactly blame them; it was a long time to spend in a single space with a group of humans. 

“Where did she end up?” Sango asked. 

Shippo sighed, settling down at the table where cups of hot chocolate-- _ yes!-- _ sat, steaming. “Just sitting on the steps of the shrine. She was acting weird, so I took her to Lady Kaede’s. Then she passed out.” 

Jaken and Rin looked up sharply; even Sango and Miroku’s expressions shifted into concern. Lord Sesshomaru stayed completely still, although Shippo had seen enough romantic relationship drama to not find that in any way innocent. 

“Is she ill?” Miroku leaned forward on one elbow. Locks of his hair--and Sango’s and Rin’s too, now that Shippo was looking--had been messily braided. “This weather can bring on quite nasty sicknesses.” 

As if on cue, Jaken sneezed. 

“Could be, but I think it’s more than that. We were showing her how to play cards and she just kind of...fell over. I put a bunch of blankets on her, and Kaede’s going to give her Kagome’s demon-brew when she wakes up.” Shippo took a generous sip of the cocoa; speaking of Kagome, now that she could go back through the well again, she could bring them more chocolate! 

“Well, it’s good that you found her, Shippo.” Sango picked up several drawings from the floor, setting them in a pile. “If she’d stayed out in the storm, then something serious might have happened.” 

“Indeed,” Miroku agreed. Both adults eyes slid across the room to stare at Lord Sesshomaru, who still hadn’t visibly reacted to any of the kitsune's news. "Although it is too bad that she's stuck over there. I'm sure she'd be more comfortable in her room from last night." 

“Lord Sesshomaru,” Rin said (rather bravely in Shippo’s opinion), “Don’t you think--”

The daiyokai interrupted her with a very frustrated sigh at the same moment that Kohaku rushed in, face panic-stricken. 

“I was--and they--” 

Sango rushed to his side.  “Hey, slow down. What’s wrong?” 

“I--I was upstairs napping. With the kids,” he stammered. “And I had this--this  _ dream… _ ”


	28. Twenty Three

When Kagura blinked awake, candle-light lit the old woman’s home. Beside her was a bowl of something dark green and strong-smelling; the fox kitsune had left, at some point, during her rest. 

“Ah, you’re awake.” The old priestess shuffled over, coming to rest on a cushion before the wind witch. She didn’t say anything else, and Kagura didn’t answer. 

It felt like someone was bouncing a rock around her skull; combined with the shivers traveling up and down her arms, Kagura wished she had just kept sleeping. 

Silently, Kaede dipped a ladle into the bowl and pressed it to Kagura’s lips. The concoction practically burned on her tongue; she didn’t have the strength to swear from it.

_ I’m so tired... _ It felt like all the anger that usually kept her upright had been wrung out with the rainwater. As the old woman continued to feed her the medicine, Kagura was struck by the singular, overwhelming sting of shame. 

_ I’m supposed to be an all-powerful wind witch. Now I’m lying here uselessly, being fed like a baby by some grizzled old bat. _

She squeezed both eyes shut, refusing to let tears of frustration out. Kaede set the bowl aside, as calm as if Kagura was one of her proteges. 

“You are one of Naraku’s incarnations,” she croaked. 

Kagura didn’t nod, or verbally respond. The fingers of her left hand clenched around the object in her palm. Was it the strange fruit that the fire deity had given her, or was that just a foolish fantasy? 

“It must be difficult to exist outside of he who created you,” Kaede mused. 

_ Difficult? _What was difficult about freedom? The stupid old woman didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. The spoon moved to her mouth again, and Kagura let the mixture sit painfully on her tongue, stinging the delicate skin between her teeth and the inside of her lips. 

“Shippo told me about this business with the goddesses. You seem to be quite mixed up with them.” Kaede cleared her throat in some manner of chiding, placing a hand over Kagura’s forehead to check her temperature. “Though, from what he’s said, that is more due to bad luck than a true desire. Am I right?”

Kagura let the dance of her eyelashes be the answer.

The old priestess frowned, setting the ladle back in the bowl with a _ clack _. “You must be careful, demon. Many creatures find out the hard way that, if the manner in which we protect ourselves only hurts others, than it is truly no protection at all.” 

_ Don’t tell me, _ she thought to herself. _ Tell those bitches from the divine realm. And the oh-so-controlled Western Lord, while you’re at it. _

It was only after the woman went to grab something from the back of the room that she considered maybe it hadn’t been directed at her in the first place. 

“I don’t usually share this with non-humans, so you must keep it secret from Inuyasha.” 

Kagura was struck with offense; why would she would go tattling to that hanyou about anything--

The ladle touched her lips again, this time with a dark liquid; it still burned, but in a more pleasant, familiar way. _ Where the fuck did she get that… _

“It is left over from his and Kagome’s wedding,” Kaede explained calmly, taking a swig from a bottle in her hand. “Much more potent than the human-made kind. On days like these, it will warm up any creature.” 

Immediately, Kagura felt enveloped in warmth, relieving the trembling in her body. _ Hm--good. _ If the woman kept it up, soon she’d be able to move again. By the morning she’d be strong enough to get the fuck out of the house, and if she was lucky--not that she expected to be--then maybe the rain would be done with, too. 

Now that the goddess had come for the cup, there was no longer any point to staying out of the forest. The bitch could just walk in past the wall anyway. No, Kagura needed to leave the village for her own little hut.

Another ladleful of the demon wine met her lips. She almost wanted to laugh; if this was the old priestess’ recommended remedy, then no wonder the humans still kept her around. 

* * *

Truly, Lord Sesshomaru had no interest in Kohaku’s dreams. Nor did he have an interest in the fact that Kagura was apparently ill. She could have easily avoided such a thing, had she not made such a dramatic exit directly into the poor weather. 

From what the fox said, she’d simply sat around in the storm. Was she trying to prove some kind of point? Become sick enough on purpose, just to try and encourage sympathy? Regardless of the reason, he had better things to do than worry about creatures with no sense of self-preservation. 

He’d told her directly that if she put herself in harm’s way, that he wouldn’t forgive her. How much clearer was he supposed to be? Now she’d gone and done exactly that, and so no one had the right to judge how he was responding to it. 

Which was to give no response at all. Because he didn’t care. 

“In my dream, I was in the forest again,” Kohaku started. One of his hands gripped Sango’s fingers tightly as he spoke. “The storm was still going, but it was almost like it wasn’t...touching me? Rain was falling, but I wasn’t getting wet. And then I turned around, and the goddess Nagisa was there. She was looking at me like--almost like she was glad to see me.” 

Miroku frowned at that. By his elbow, Shippo took a noisy slurp of his hot chocolate. 

“Then Akari was there too, and she had the cup. She gave it to Nagisa, who filled it with rain and then took a sip. Except, she didn’t swallow it. She just--” His free hand went to his lips. “She held the water in her mouth, and spat it back out onto the ground. But it was _ black, _ and more just kept pouring out of her. It burned the ground, even in the storm.” 

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. Obviously, the goddess was ridding herself of his poison. It was clear that the cup was capable of such properties; however, none of this was truly important. 

“Did it touch you, Kohaku?” Rin’s eyes were huge, enraptured in the boy’s story. 

He shook his head. “No. It was like there was a barrier around me, and the water just flowed around my feet...When she was done, Nagisa smiled at me. As if I was supposed to go with her, or something.” 

Miroku’s frown grew deeper. “What did you do?” 

“I looked down, and the jar lid was in my hand. I offered it to her, but she wouldn’t take it.” The boy looked down at his lap. “So I looked at Akari, and she said that when they’re done, I need to build them a shrine. Like we did for the fire deities.” Kohaku sighed heavily. “But I don’t know what they mean by that, either. Is it when the storm is done, or something else?” 

“We should go back to the shrine tomorrow and check if the cup is still there,” Miroku mused, fingers tapping his chin. “When it comes to gods, dreams are never just dreams.” 

The unease of the room was jarred by a series of sneezes and groans. Everyone turned to give Jaken a look of annoyance. He glared back, bundled up in the blankets he’d stolen from Rin. 

“Who cares about those silly goddesses?” The imp rubbed his beak with the back of one hand. “If they really wanted to earn our favor, maybe they should stop with all the rain!” 

“Where is the jar lid now?” 

Each member of the group startled a little at the abruptness of Sesshomaru’s question.

“I still have it. See?” Kohaku pulled the disk free from the pocket of his robe. At Sesshomaru’s nod, Jaken reluctantly stumbled over to retrieve the piece. “I don’t know if we should take it back to the shrine, since the goddesses don’t want it anyway.” 

Miroku hummed affirmatively. Jaken passed the item over for his lord to inspect, curling deeper into the blankets with a pitiful whimper. 

“What do you want with it, Lord Sesshomaru?” Rin asked, chin in her hand. 

“I am curious about its properties.” He recognized the piece, having been struck with it in his former dealings with Nagisa. Over the course of the long, tedious day, his mind had started to wonder about the object as a weapon. If his half-brother hadn’t disappeared off to another time so quickly, then he might have requested to inspect the jar given to Kagome. _ This will suffice for now. _

“Hey Kohaku, do you think you dreamed about Akari and Nagisa because you had the lid to their jar?” Shippo wiped his mouth with his sleeve. 

“Could be…” 

“Miroku and I didn’t dream about anything when we found it, though.” Sango pointed out. She rubbed one hand over her brother’s back in a soothing motion, despite the fact he was now mostly calm. “Although now that Nagisa is alive again, perhaps things have changed.”

“The picture on top doesn’t look the same,” Shippo mused. “Is it cause the jar broke?”

Rin shuddered. “Or because Nagisa isn’t dead anymore?” 

A flurry of footsteps and screams sounded in the hall. Sango jumped up, whipping a knife out of her belt; Kohaku too dropped into a fighting stance. Sesshomaru allowed himself a split second of interest in the siblings’ quick reaction time. 

“Mamaaaaaa!” Emi, Mushin, and Keiko ran in, each one burying their faces in their Sango’s skirt. Quickly she handed off the knife to her husband, while Kohaku relaxed in relief. 

“What’s wro--” 

“_It’s the ghoooooooost _ ! _ ” _Emi screamed at top volume.

“Foolish children,” Jaken groaned. A sneeze in the middle of the last word made it sound more like a swear. “There are no such--such thi--” 

Suddenly, the servant’s eyes rolled back in his head, and he fell backwards. 

“Ah! Master Jaken!” Rin shrieked.

Sesshomaru shook his head slowly. “Don’t be alarmed. He isn’t dead.” _Simply too weak to fight off a simple illness. Or, perhaps, cunning enough to fake worsening symptoms so that the children will leave him be. _

_ Regardless, it appears that I must intervene if he is to ever be capable of leaving this house... _

* * *

“Inuyasha, can you come here for a second?” 

“Eh?” 

The hanyou shuffled down the hall to peek into Mrs. Higurashi’s room. He didn’t really like messing around in anyone’s stuff except Kagome’s; it didn’t really matter with Sota, who usually dragged him in anyway, but he knew most other people were private about their rooms. Mrs. Higurashi was a special case. From the doorway, he could clearly see the picture of the smiling man on the dresser. Kagome’s dad--an old, faded scent that he assumed was the man’s still lingered in some parts of the house. He was willing to bet that his mother in law had a bunch of her husband’s things stashed away in her room. 

“Come here, dear.” Mrs. Higurashi sat on the edge of her bed, holding a sizable wooden box in her lap. Her face looked a bit pink, like she’d scrubbed it recently, but her smile was calm. “This will only take a minute.”

“Eh, it’s fine. Kagome’s in the shower, anyway.” _ And has been for twenty minutes, _he thought to himself. Not that he could blame her; ever since they’d met, Kagome had been obsessed with hot water. It was a weird side effect of being from her time, Inuyasha supposed. “What’s that?” 

If she was offended that he chose to sit cross-legged on the floor, instead of beside her, Mrs. Higurashi didn’t show it. Instead, she opened the box and held it out for him to look. 

“Mr. Higurashi and I were married when we were not much older than you and Kagome.” Her chuckle was soft and wistful; it made Inuyasha wonder what memories flooded her mind. If they compared to any of his own, with his own bride. “My father is a very traditional man. He gave my husband a hakama, and--since my husband had no family of his own to do the exchange--he gave me an obi.” 

Inuyasha’s ears perked up as he gazed into the box. The hakama folded neatly in the box was black; the fabric didn’t smell musty, meaning that Mrs. Higurashi either took very good care of it or pulled it out relatively often to look it. The obi folded on top was orange, printed with suns and flowers. “They’re nice.” 

“Oh, I’m so glad you think so!” She waved her hand and giggled, “Not that we could wear such things out and about! But since you and Kagome arrived in traditional clothing, it seems that you dress like that quite often.” 

Wait--she was _ giving _him this? Inuyasha’s eyes traced the patterns in the silk--wasn’t she worried about his claws? Or sad, to give away something that held so many of what may have been her most precious memories? 

“Uh,” he stammered, trying not to sound rude, “are you sure?”

“I am. It’s about time that I started to pass some of these things on--move forward, as they say.” She sighed, and he immediately picked up on something complicated in her mood. Hesitantly, he placed a hand over hers. 

“Uh, I got stuff for you, too. Wait here.” 

He bounded out of the room and over the staircase. Mrs. Higurashi sat in confusion, still holding the box. 

When he came back, his haori was streaked with dirt, and he was holding an armful of flowers that had clearly been ripped out of the ground. 

“The son in law usually gives somethin’ like this to the bride’s mom, right?” Gruffly, he shoved the flowers at her, scattering dirt across the floor. From the brightness of her smile, she didn’t seem upset about it. “I know the wedding ain’t exactly recent, but--”

“Thank you!” She jumped up, flitting about the room to find a vase. While she searched, Inuyasha sighed and added, “Also, sorry I dragged ya into the thing with the well. It was a dumb thing to do.” 

“People do all kinds of things to deal with fear,” she said, perhaps more cheerfully than she should have. “You’re forgiven, Inuyasha.” 

While she arranged the flowers on her side table, he ran the palm of his hand over the old hakama and obi. The whole visit had been nice--that seemed like a piss-poor compliment, but that was the best way to describe it. Despite the years since he’d been in this time--and for him, it was almost five--the Higurashi family had welcomed him back like it had been only a few days. They never seemed to blame him for taking Kagome away, or make fun of him for wanting to keep an eye on her and their unborn child. He hadn’t exactly felt judged by his friends in the Feudal Era--Miroku, Shippo, and Sango knew just as well what he’d gone through, in the years without his beloved--but there was just something different about Kagome’s family. 

It felt like Naraku’s legacy didn’t reach here, was the best way he could put it. Inuyasha wasn’t an idiot--he’d become attuned over the years to the shakiness in Sango’s breath when she was swallowing down a panic attack, or the way Miroku tensed up around wasps, or the way Shippo clung to Kagome after a long while at the Kitsune Academy. It was like the fucker’s poison still swam in their bloodstream, years later. But here, in the Higurashi home, he knew 500 years was in between him and the remnants of what Naraku had done to all their lives. And that was a comfort, even if he still couldn’t stop himself completely from worrying about Kagome. 

Naturally, knowing that brought up a whole other issue. A world long, _ long _after Naraku felt like it was no doubt the safest one, both for Kagome and for their child. But Inuyasha knew that they couldn’t stay forever. Nor did he really want to--he would never truly leave their friends. Especially Rin, with the stupid goddess shit she was dealing with. 

So, staring at the black and orange silk filling the box, Inuyasha steeled his resolve to be capable of even just a small part of the comfort for his friends that he felt in this world, with Kagome’s family. 

* * *

The medicine and alcohol had helped immensely; as soon as she could move about, Kagura hurried to change out of the priestess’ ugly old rags. A headache still pressed against her brow, but compared to the other shit going on, she decided she could live with that. 

Of course, that didn’t stop her from nearly having a heart attack when she came out from behind the screen to see Sesshomaru standing in the house. 

“Holy shit_, _ do you not know how to knock or were you just raised in the wilderness?” she snapped. The emotionless way he stared right through her, not bothering to retort, hurt more than Kagura would admit. _Still nursing your wounded pride? _ _ Fine--let’s play. _

“So what are you here for?” She tossed the old robes over the top of the screen, letting them fall in a messy heap. 

Sesshomaru’s expression remained neutral. After a moment that stretched a touch too long, he responded. “Jaken is ill. It is required that we depart tomorrow; I was directed here for a solution to his loss of strength.” 

Why he didn’t just leave the servant behind, Kagura refused to understand. Jaken didn’t seem to offer much use to Sesshomaru anyway. “Not much to return, there.”

Unfortunately, there was no reaction to her snide remark; not even a roll of those golden eyes. Annoyed, Kagura searched her mind for something to try and bait him with. 

“I gave the goddess the cup.”

His gaze turned on her sharply. A victorious zing raced through her body. 

“Maybe she’ll use it to fuck off somewhere else, and stop pestering me. Although, her brother is a much more appreciative type. Even gave me a gift.” Kagura swallowed her last statement--_ don’t be jealous, now-- _because, even if this game was fun, she didn’t exactly wish to be killed for it. “See? It’s some kind of fruit.” 

She held the fire deity’s gift aloft. Sesshomaru didn’t bother to raise an eyebrow over it. His lack of interest offended Kagura. Almost mockingly, she took a large bite of the fruit, juice dribbling down her chin. 

Suddenly, Sesshomaru was right in front of her, his hand closed around her neck. Kagura’s first thought? _ Geez, he certainly is consistent with this type of thing... _

Although the alarm in his eyes was new. 

“_Spit it out.” _

Kagura’s eyes widened; as soon as the pulp of the fruit hit her tongue, she could taste it. Dark, acidic--dog demon poison. Twisting away, she spat the fruit out onto the floor, scraping against her lips with her sleeve. The rest of the god's gift fell to the floor, rolling away. 

“Fuck…” Her eyes watered; she felt Sesshomaru release her throat as soon as he could tell she hadn’t swallowed any. “What in the--”

“The god gave you poisoned fruit.” His words dripped with contempt.

“Yeah, no shit.” She looked up, ready to argue over what she was sure was going to be another undeserved scolding, only to see plain fury painted across the features of his face. Eyes as scarlet as her own stared down at her, making Kagura suddenly feel a bit dizzy. “Hey…”

“Their altars will be in _ pieces. _” A demonic aura filled the room, heavy with threat of violence. Sesshomaru whirled towards the door, and in her stunned state, Kagura did what she personally would have considered at any other time the dumbest thing possible.

She got in his way. 

“Hold on a second!” Both arms went up, pushing at his shoulders to hold him in place. He glared down at her, seething. Kagura put as much intensity in her protest as possible. “Don’t go losing your mind on a bunch of deities again--that’s the whole reason we’re in this mess in the first place!” 

“You would_ defend_\--” 

“I’m not defending shit, I'm saying that it probably wasn’t on purpose--how dumb would that be?!” If only he would stop to use the brain he supposedly had for a second, he would understand it. If the fire god had wanted to torment Kagura, then there would have been plenty easier ways to do it. Judging by Akari's behavior, the deities were more straightforward with their allegiances than most creatures she had dealt with before. “_Y__ou _ killed them, so anything they try to create could be affected by that! Why else would it be your type of poison?” 

Sesshomaru seemed to deflate a bit at that; however, his eyes still remained a boiling red, and the claws by his side trembled, clearly searching for something to rip apart. Before she truly knew what she was doing, Kagura’s hands went to press against the side of his face, thumbs brushing the lower yokai marks. 

“Just calm _down_, already. I’m not going to blame you for it--but don’t go getting yourself into more trouble with this.” 

He took a deep, frustrated breath. Kagura suddenly realized how close they were; one more small step and they’d be nose-to-nose. She’d only ever moved so close to tease, way back when she’d first shifted out of her wind form to say hello. Even more striking was how he wasn’t shoving her out of the way to continue on his rampage. Instead, he seemed to actually be listening, despite the fact that his eyes still carried a murderous gleam. 

“Impulsive bastard.” She tried to make it come out harsh, _ biting, _ but to her alarm it sounded almost fond.

_ Oh fucking hell... _

“Ahem.”

Panic sparking up her spine resulted in a rather obvious flinch, as Kagura shoved herself away from the daiyokai. Slowly, they both turned to face the old priestess, who very helpfully arranged the features of her face into a neutral expression.

“I have more of Kagome’s demon-brew for your servant,” she said, holding aloft a clay jug. “Have him drink as much as he is able.”

Sesshomaru gave a clipped nod, reaching forward to take the potion. Kaede’s one eye slid slowly from him to Kagura’s blushing face.

“Since you seem to be doing better, demoness, perhaps you should escort the Western Lord back. While it’s been nice to have company, I’m sure you have better things to do than chat with an old human woman.” 

Kagura could not deny that was true. Clearing her throat, she headed for the door without waiting to see if Sesshomaru was following.

_ If he bothers to bring this all up again, I should just blame it on the demon wine... _


	29. Twenty Four

Even though it made her headache worse, Kagura chose to make the trip back to Inuyasha’s inn while in her wind form--not only did it keep her dry, it also meant that she wasn’t expected to make conversation with the daiyokai next to her. She was planning to leave as soon as morning broke, anyway, to go back to the forest. Better to hold off on starting any more arguments. 

For his part, Sesshomaru was silent. His mind raced; the sorceress’ mixed signals were impossibly frustrating. He had intended to pay her absolutely no mind, but _ of course, _then she had nearly poisoned herself in his presence. If he had not gotten involved, who knew what kind of retribution he would face from his brother’s kin for that. 

The jug of medicine weighed heavier than it should be, pressed safely against his arm. Kagura had shifted into her elemental form as soon as they’d stepped outdoors, and though he was grateful for the lack of conversation, it didn’t prevent him from feeling the ghost of her hands on the side of his face. Who did she think she was, to touch him so casually? A woman of her station and temperament…

Why had he let her? 

Kagura had done nothing but annoy him, complicate things, not to mention she’d handed a weapon straight back to one of the creatures that had caused his ward so much pain. And, he reminded himself, she’d been very clear about wanting to remain on her own. So why was she now going straight back to his half-brother’s estate? Was her mind so weak to change that often? 

His mother’s voice erupted unbidden in his mind: _ Ah, but who was it who kissed the sorceress all those days ago, my son? And yet, you did not seek to make a serious claim on her. Hypocrisy is a poor look for a Lord… _

But that was different. That had been some foolish impulse, the root of which he couldn’t even remember. And she hadn’t brought it up since, so clearly Kagura had not cared much. 

It felt like ages until they reached their destination. 

Sesshomaru averted his gaze from the wind witch’s reformation--the thing of main importance now was his servant’s disposition. Kagura seemed a bit relieved as he brushed by her. Not that her feelings mattered, in the grand scheme of things. She had made it clear that he was not to concern himself over them. 

“Lady Kagura!” Rin jumped up from Jaken’s side. “You’re back!” 

“Yo.” She pressed against her forehead, feeling the throbbing increase--thanks to Jaken’s pitiful moaning mixed with fearful whimpers of the three kids clinging to Sango. The taijiya herself looked strange, eyes centered on Kohaku beside her.

What had happened, since Kagura had run from the room this morning? 

“Are you feeling better?” Shippo asked, sipping from a half-empty mug; a second sat in front of him. Clearly he was making most of whatever treat it was. The edge of a playing card flashed at her from his sleeve. 

“I guess.” _ Other than this damn headache. _

“Good.” His smile was much too kind; a strange embarrassment twisted in her gut. She didn’t need _ kids _worrying about her, especially ones who didn’t have any reason to like her. 

“Jaken.” Sesshomaru tossed the jug down with a thud, narrowly missing his servant’s trembling leg. “Pull yourself together.” 

“At once, Lord Sesshomaru.” With great struggle, the imp sat up. He stretched a trembling claw towards the bottle, as though on his last breath. Rin helpfully scooted it an inch closer, so he could take it into his grip. 

“Ah, so you’ve returned!” Miroku came in; in his arms squirmed a lump of fur bundled in a strange piece of clothing. “Behold, our ghost!” 

An affirming meow came from the monk’s arms. 

“Kilala!” Kohaku said, face breaking into a smile. The small boy in Sango’s lap gasped dramatically. 

“Yes, as it appears,” Miroku chuckled, patting the cat’s head. “She must have been lonely in the house all alone; I suppose she came in through a window, and got stuck in the shirt from Lady Kagome’s old uniform where it was hanging up.” 

“Why would Kagome keep that thing?” Shippo snorted. Miroku smirked and started to respond, but at his wife’s loud cough, swallowed whatever perverse statement he was about to say. 

“Hi, Kilala!” The baby boy shrieked, reaching his arms out for the cat. Jumping out of Miroku’s grip, she allowed the children to preen over her. Kohaku left his sister’s side to help untangle the sleeves of the shirt from the animal’s body. 

“It’s good that it wasn’t a real ghost, right, Lord Sesshomaru?” Rin turned to her Lord, ignoring his long-suffering expression. Clearly he wasn’t the type for lazy-day mysteries. 

Kagura was about to make some comment about no one caring; but at that moment, the taijiya woman spoke, and the tremor in her voice was painfully obvious to everyone in the room. 

“Miroku.” 

All she said was her husband’s name, but from the way the monk froze, Kagura assumed it was a signal of some kind. A false smile spread over his face. “Ah, I think Sango and I will go to the kitchen to see if there is any food for our little ghost-kitten.” 

“But Mama--” One of the girls reached for her mother. As if on cue, Kohaku tapped her head to redirect the attention. 

“Look, Kilala has some leaves stuck in her fur from the storm! Let’s help her out…” 

Gripping her husband’s hand, Sango gave a short bow before they both left the room. 

“What was that about?” Rin mused, eyes wide. Shippo focused his attention on whatever it was in his cup, clearly uncomfortable. Sesshomaru didn’t bother to dignify such uninteresting things with a reaction--especially as his servant was choking down the priestess’ demon-brew much too slowly to be healed in a timely manner. 

“Well, then…” Kagura didn’t know what the taijiya woman’s problem was, but she had no intentions to stay in the room with the grabby kids and no parents to control them. Her headache was bad enough as it was...“Good night.” 

Her back was turned, so she couldn’t have known--but Sesshomaru’s eyes followed her departure. Such things, however, did not escape Rin’s notice. 

“Lord Sesshomaru--”

“Rin,” he interrupted darkly. “If you are gifted something by a deity, in your dreams or otherwise, you are not to ingest it under any circumstances. Is that clear?” 

“Um...okay.” She didn’t know what to make of that. “Did something happen?” 

Sesshomaru decided to proceed with a _ highly _ edited version of his story. 

* * *

As soon as they were safely in the kitchen, Sango’s breaths fell into short hyperventilations. Miroku rubbed her arms from wrist to shoulder.

“Breathe, my love.” His voice was absurdly calm. 

“He’s having dreams,” she managed to grit between her teeth. It felt like the lungs in her chest were shrinking, refusing to hold air. “What if it’s like before? What if the gods possess him, and he _ does things--” _

She hadn’t had a panic over such things in at least a year, maybe even longer. But the fear in her brother’s eyes when he’d run into the room had sparked too many memories. The kind that, even though she tried hard to push them away, always seemed to lurk on the edge of her mind. 

She hated it. Sango _ hated _ being weak in that way. 

“Shhh,” her husband said, squeezing her arms. The tightening of his fingers helped; it kept her from falling completely into the past. Early in their engagement, she’d experienced such things-- shedding the skin of reality, physical self-awareness falling from her shoulders like an old shawl. For a taijiya, who depended on her body for survival, it was terrifying. Thankfully Miroku had learned ways to hold her together. “Kohaku doesn’t show any sign of being controlled, the way he was by Naraku. He is not the only one to dream of the goddesses--Kagome wasn’t harmed by them.”

“What if she was, and we just don’t know because she isn’t here?” Sango grabbed at the front of his robes, nails catching on the fabric. “Akari tried to control Kagura’s power, who’s to say she can’t do it to us?” Her last sentence broke into a series of wheezing breaths. 

“_ Breathe.” _Miroku pressed their foreheads together, mimicking a deep inhale and slow exhale. Sango found enough presence of mind to copy his actions, until the vise around her lungs released, bit by bit. 

“He’s not going anywhere,” Miroku said softly, petting her hair as she slumped slightly forward. “If there is any hint that he’s in trouble, we will save him again. Okay? We will save him.” 

“Promise me,” she begged. 

_ Promise me that things will be alright. That our happiness isn’t temporary. _

_ That it’s not always on the edge of being ripped away. _

“I promise.” The monk gently pulled her forward. Sango rested against him, feeling the thudding of her heart slowly resume a normal pace. Blissfully, her mind cleared as the anxiety subsided to a manageable level. 

Her thoughts drifted to their abrupt exit from the main room; her children’s confused expressions, their comrades’ apprehension. 

“Er...sorry.” Heat tickled the back of her neck. “I didn’t expect that to happen.”

“It’s quite alright, Sango.” Miroku’s voice was so warm, she wanted to submerge herself in it. “I am sure no one in our company would blame you, with the stress we’ve all been under. And if they do, I will most certainly defend your right to it.” 

“It’s been so long since...I thought it wouldn't happen anymore.” Sango wrapped an arm around his waist, holding herself against him. Her husband sighed. 

“That would be much too simple.”

She wanted to thank him, but she knew he wouldn’t accept it. None of her friends ever did, after soothing her through pain. Though, to be fair, she was the same way--being by each other’s side during the ugliness of life was just part of the deal. 

“I unfortunately cannot assure you that our disappearance was unnoticed,” Miroku said. “Kilala must be worried for you. But I’m sure a quick cuddle will make up for that.” 

“You must be worried, too,” she pointed out. “Though I suppose you have your own ideas for how I can comfort you in return?” 

His hands drifted to squeeze the swell of her hips. “Well, perhaps when the children are asleep…” 

A laugh bubbled in her chest. She set one hand on his cheek, a faint reminder of the days when she would slap him for his forward behavior. “Perhaps.” 

* * *

Inuyasha’s nose wrinkled as Kagome came into her bedroom.“You okay?” 

“Yeah. Sota was just showing me something.” His wife wiped her eyes with one hand, gesturing to him with the other. “Move over.” 

He shuffled back to lean against the wall. Kagome moved to sit between his legs, resting her back against his chest. The bed creaked beneath their combined weight. 

“So.” She said. 

“So?” He echoed, wrapping both arms around her. 

Kagome squirmed slightly against him. “Can I tell you something bad?”

“Sure.” Immediately his brain went to the million worst possibilities, despite the fact that her posture was relaxed and she didn’t seem afraid of anything. 

Kagome frowned. “I kind of...don’t want to leave. I know it’s selfish, but I really like being here, with you and my family. It feels safe, you know?”

“Yeah, I do.” Inuyasha exhaled slowly, half from relief and half in resignment. “But we’ll miss a lot if we don’t go back. Plus, who’s gonna fix everything if we’re not there?”

Kagome bumped the side of head against his cheek in agreement. Inuyasha felt the slight swell of her abdomen shift beneath his arm as she moved. His heart thudded. 

“Are you gonna start tellin’ people now?’ 

“Huh? Oh, you mean about the baby.” A soft smile crossed her face. “Yeah, I think so. It felt too weird before. Too final, if that makes sense? But now that Mom knows, it feels like it’s okay to talk about it with other people, too.” 

“Good.” He’d suspected her reasons were due to something else, but he was glad to be wrong. “You ain’t selfish, by the way. For wanting to stay.” 

“Thank you, Inuyasha.” His wife’s voice had started to lilt, the way it did when she was sleepy. “I guess we should leave tomorrow, then. If we wait any longer, then I might talk myself out of it.” 

“Okay.” He had been about to suggest the same thing. 

* * *

_ “Rekka. Hikaru. Kai. Haru.” _

_ Gorou turned to each of his older brothers in turn. The world around them moved in red and white; together, they all made a sea of sunset hues. _

_ Here, they were safe, in the realm in between. _

_ Haru stepped forward, golden face drawn in disappointment. “I tried to give the wind witch a blessing, Gorou. It was tainted.” _

_ “Because of the dog demon’s violence,” Rekka snarled, smoke erupting from his nostrils. “He acted rashly against us, and that’s why we are like this now.” _

_ “He hurt our sisters too, didn’t he?” Kai placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. One eye burned black, the other white. “Akari’s jar was broken because of him.” _

_ Haru nodded, turning back to Gorou. “But Akari has escaped death, so her blessings remain pure. And Nagisa has used the cup to purge the poison.” _

_ “Then perhaps we could--” _

_ “No.” Hikaru’s voice, deeper than his brothers, crackled with regret. “There is no way to partake from the cup in these forms.” _

_ The five of them rested a moment, in silence. Then Haru spoke again. _

_ “I want to bless those who brought us to safety.” _

_ “Haven’t you learned by now? We don’t get to have what we want,” snapped Rekka. Gorou held up a hand to placate him. _

_ “It’s true we cannot bless them. Not in the typical way...but perhaps we could use our combined power in our current forms to save them, in turn.” _

_ Kai and Rekka exchanged looks. “What do you mean?” _

_ Gorou gave them a blinding grin. _

_ Many assumed that water and fire were opposites; but they had been born from both the Sun and the Storm. Their motivation was everything that the two elements had in common: _

_ Sustenance. _

_ Protection. _

_ Life. _

* * *

“Kohaku?”

The boy turned from where he’d been sitting, listening to the rain fall. Everyone else had gone to bed; the night was too dark to see, but the thrum of water hitting the ground outside was still comforting. Rin settled beside him, wrapped in one of the blankets that Jaken had rejected. Giving him a tiny smile, she asked, “Are you okay?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Even though he’d given it to Sesshomaru, the taijiya boy couldn’t get the jar lid out of his mind. Just because Nagisa hadn’t wanted it, had he made a mistake in giving it to the being who had killed her? “I’m not sure what to think about my dream.”

Rin gave an understanding nod. 

“On the one hand, I don’t think that building them a shrine would be a bad thing. It helped the other gods, right?” At her nod, he continued. “But it was just so strange. They don’t have a reason to ask me; I was with Inuyasha and Shippo when we went to save you from Akari. Why me?” 

Rin folded her lips inward, thinking. Kohaku felt a pang of guilt; she herself struggled so much with the goddesses. Was talking about them now just going to tip the balance of the more stable mood she’d had, of late? 

Finally, Rin spoke. “When I met Akari, something about her really stuck. It felt like...someone else saw what I was sad about. Not just noticed, but understood_ . _I didn’t want to be the only person who was breaking down, even though I was trying to hide it.” The blanket shifted as she curled it more tightly around herself. “When she took me into the woods with her, I’m pretty sure she wasn’t trying to do anything bad. But she didn’t ask if I wanted to go. She didn’t really know me, the same way as I didn’t really know who she was. It was just about having someone who knew what it felt like to be drowning. And I don’t think she wanted to give that up.” 

Kohaku frowned, mulling that over. 

She added more quietly, “But you act based on what you think is right, not just what you want to avoid. Even though you came to save me from Akari, you tried to help Nagisa, too. And when I went to save the altars from getting wet, you were right behind me. So maybe the gods just trust you.” 

_ Can I be trusted, though? _ The thought was automatic, and he quickly reminded himself that it was the difficult past talking. He’d worked hard, _ so _hard, to earn back the light in his friends’ eyes. It made the suffocating truths of what he’d done before easier, with every moment that he helped someone. 

Scooting closer, Rin rested her head against his shoulder. “You’re a good friend, Kohaku. If you want, I can help you build the shrine.” 

“Rin, are you sure?” He could think of many, many reasons why that might be a bad idea. As if she could read his mind, Rin sighed, “I know Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken wouldn't like it. But I want to be brave. Maybe if I hadn’t brought Akari food, or kept her a secret, than all of this wouldn’t have happened.” 

“You can’t blame yourself.” _ Hypocrite, _ the dark voice in his mind roared. “You went through some terrible things, and you tried to deal with them the best you could. Akari and Nagisa are the ones that hurt people, directly.”

“I hurt people too.” Rin sniffed. “Not in the same way. But Lady Kagura got put in the jar because of me. Keiko and Emi could have been hurt when I left them alone. Master Jaken got sick…” Her voice trembled. “Lord Sesshomaru worried so much.”

Kohaku decided not to point out that the Western Lord had made things much worse on his own. While he was searching for something to say, Rin filled the silence with what he could tell was very difficult for her to say. 

“Sometimes I’m afraid that maybe I wanted him to worry. That I didn’t tell anyone because I knew something bad would happen, and I wanted him to stay with me. Or maybe I wanted him to be hurt. Like a punishment.”

“Rin, that’s not like you. I don’t think--”

“Because sometimes, I do feel like it’s his fault.” Her voice was a hoarse whisper now. When he looked over, he saw a tear running down her face. Alarmed, Kohaku wrapped an arm around the girl, trying to comfort her as best as he could. “I wouldn’t feel haunted by the Underworld, if he hadn’t taken me there.” 

The taijiya boy didn’t know what to say. Just as suddenly as she’d gotten upset, Rin pulled away from his embrace, blushing. 

“Ah! I’m sorry, Kohaku. You were trying to talk, and I made it all about me.” She gave him a watery smile, rubbing her cheeks with both fists. “Please forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” he stammered, putting his arm over her shoulders again. “Please, don’t apologize for saying that. I know it must have been hard to say.”

Her hands lowered back to her lap, and she nodded. 

“But I think I understand.” Kohaku swallowed the lump in his throat, piecing the words together carefully. “I don’t agree that it’s your fault that this happened. But it’s not totally Akari and Nagisa’s fault, either. They didn’t choose to come to our realm. So I would like to build them a shrine, whenever what it is that they’re doing ends. And I would like you to help me very much.”

Rin smiled, true and bright.

The dark thoughts in his head were quiet.


	30. Twenty Five

_ She’s going to leave soon. He can tell, in the way her breath is so easy and her eyes keep flicking to the window. If there is something that would convince her to stay, he doesn’t know what it would be.  _

_ Not that he’d say it, even if he knew.  _

_ Perhaps it’s because it might be the last time they see each other for a while; or perhaps it’s due to how she’d touched his face earlier. Or maybe it’s just because he wants to. But, whatever the reason, he presses Kagura up against the wall roughly and dips his head to her neck. _

_ She gasps. His arm is pressed against her ribs, hard enough to sting with every inhale. Even so, she doesn’t push him away, and he growls in approval. Lips graze smooth, unbroken skin, and a noise escapes her. It’s maddening, how much he wants to hear it again. He shifts an inch and mouths against her a second time. Kagura presses both arms back into the wall, neck stretching up to make more room for him, and whines.  _

_ Fangs prick her skin. The sorceress shudders. It feels like the mechanizations of the entire world has stopped--all that exists is the two of them against this wall, melting into the dark-- _

Kagura woke much earlier than she was planning to. 

Bright light streaked through the window, even with the screen covering it. No downpour of rain, no roaring of wind. When she rolled from the futon with a groan, she could swear she heard  _ birds chirping.  _

“Is this some kind of nightmare?”

Pulling back the screen of the window, she looked out to a startling sight. The entire village appeared to be bathed in golden light, with no apparent source--the sun still hadn’t risen yet. Looking upon the glow sent a rush of heat from the top of her head down to her bare feet. 

Shifting into her wind form, Kagura floated out the window and up to crouch on the still-slick roof. The amber light seemed to fade away where the village wall met the fields; in the distance, she could see storm clouds still roaming darkly over the hills. The rough weather appeared to be moving away, in the direction of the sea. Perhaps the light had driven it away--acting as some kind of barrier? 

_ Either way, if it’s beaten the storm back, then I’m free to go. _

Just as her foot slipped on the roof’s surface, she broke apart into air. Floating away, she only spared a few moments of guilt for not warning anyone of her departure. 

_ It’s for the best, anyway.  _

The temperature dipped slightly as she entered the forest, beyond where the light beamed. Rain drizzled through the trees, all the anger gone from its descent. Dropping down, Kagura wafted breezily over muddy ground strewn with leaves and torn branches. There was no sign of the goddesses--good. The last thing she needed was to have the thing with the cup thrown back in her face (possibly literally). 

Making it back to the hut that she’d claimed before, Kagura was dismayed to see that the makeshift garden was a pit of muck and dead, rotting foliage; what a bit of work that would be. Luckily the little house itself seemed to have resisted the violence of the storm. 

Collapsing into her own futon came with a shock of relief. Her headache faded slightly as the room filled with the sound of her own breathing. She looked around the room dazedly; the feeling that something was missing prickled over her skin, but she disregarded it for now. Instead, Kagura curled up with her knees drawn up against her chest. Humidity sank around her, thick as if she’d jumped into the stream nearby to drown. 

Was the shakiness in her body due to illness? Being in the forest again? Or was it possible that she was still finding the shift into her elemental form stressful? Reactions to things like that could be delayed, Kagura knew--how many times had she only broken down from Naraku’s actions after Kanna and that stupid fucking mirror had left? Sometimes it was only after several hours worth of eye-rolls and snide remarks, pretending she was unaffected, before she had been able to let herself crack apart into the very real fear and rage.

Punishing thoughts drifted into the front of her mind, despite her attempts to push them back. 

_ You’re so fucking pathetic.  _

_ And contradictory.  _

_ “I just want to be left alone”, huh? Then why did you go running to the human’s village just because of a little rain? Give the cup back to the creature that tried to kill you for no reason? Follow the stupid kitsune to that old bat’s house to be fussed over, like some daimyo’s young bride with a weak constitution?  _

_ Just...stop trying to have what you keep saying you don’t want.  _

_ Stop being so fucking weak.  _

She thought back to her dream from the previous night; heat crept across her features. 

_ Stupid, stupid idiot. You refused him, remember? It would only end badly for you, anyway--that lesson was clear enough.  _

_ Besides, your weakness disgusts him.  _

He’d said as much, hadn’t he, on the roof that night? Gods, she had been in such a crazy headspace it was hard to recall. Burying her face in the pillow, she gave a muffled groan. 

Did the Western Lord despise himself for providing the rescue that she hadn’t asked for, or for the one he hadn’t? She didn't feel confident enough to guess. He was the most complicated fucking person in the world, except perhaps for herself. But, even with his impossible-to-decipher feelings, she knew him well enough.

He couldn’t come after her any more. That thing with the poisoned fruit was proof enough that she couldn’t be around him, because it made her do stupid things. She had no power to keep him out of the forest, so she would just have to do her best to avoid him. Disappearing before he woke up was a good start. The rest of the villagers would be easy to hide from, except perhaps Kohaku. But then, Kagura would just have to accept some margin of error. 

_ I can do this,  _ she thought.  _ I can do this on my own. Keep myself safe, be happy--I don’t need any of them. This time, I mean it.  _

A gust of wind tickled around her neck. She brushed it away with one hand, sighing. 

No more time to think. After some more rest, she would get to work. 

* * *

When Kohaku awoke, Kilala was snuggled up warmly against him. Orange eyes blinked at him knowingly, and he tilted his head in curiosity of what it was she was trying to say. Before his mind could clear enough to figure it out, a tiny hand tapped his shoulder.

“Uncle.” Mushin waved at him, lip poked out in a pout. “So bright.” 

“Bright, huh?” Standing, Kohaku twisted his back to one side until it cracked. Kilala flinched at the noise. “What is?”

Mushin answered him with a shrug. Holding back a chuckle, Kohaku bent to be at eye level with his nephew. “Show me and Kilala what’s bright.” 

Nodding seriously, the boy tugged him to the window in the main room. 

“See?”

Kohaku’s jaw dropped slightly. A gold light had indeed spread all across the village buildings within his view. The rain and wind had disappeared farther off into the hills, as though trying to avoid the glow.  _ Everyone will be so happy.  _

Kilala’s head knocked against his elbow. He turned to look at her, and she pushed something from her mouth into his hand. Fingers closed over demon bone and silk. Panic struck him, but the demon cat’s expression carried no alarm. Instead, her eyes burned thoughtfully. 

Kohaku’s heart sank, twisting into disappointment. 

_ So she left on purpose. _

It made sense, of course. Better weather meant that Lord Sesshomaru and Jaken could depart as well. Then Miroku and Sango could check the village for damages, and he and Rin could start designing a shrine for the two storm goddesses, hoping that would be the end of things. Kagura didn’t really fit into any of those plans. 

But if the goddesses were still in the forest, wasn’t she worried about being in danger? Why not stay here with friends, where it was safe? Instead of sneaking off in the earliest possible moment without saying goodbye…

Without her weapon. He brought the fan up to unfold it, frowning. In his time with Naraku, he’d come to realize that Kagura was oftentimes playing with multiple sides of fate. Telling her master she was at his service while working behind his back was the most blatant example. But Kagura had also saved Kohaku’s life, knowing it would end badly for herself, despite claiming to put her own survival at the highest priority. 

Perhaps she’d left her fan behind on purpose, because she didn’t want to be protected? 

“The rain’s stopped!” 

He turned to see Shippo and Miroku in the doorway, the former sleepily rubbing one eye. Mushin made a high-pitched shriek in greeting, toddling towards them with both arms outstretched. Shippo caught him in a full-bodied hug. Miroku dipped his head to Kohaku in greeting. If his brother-in-law noticed the tension in the taijiya’s posture, he helpfully neglected to comment. 

“We should go to the well to check if Kagome and Inuyasha are coming back now that the storm’s gone.” Shippo patted Mushin on the head. “Wanna come with me, Miroku?”

“Why not? I could definitely use a stretch of the legs.” The monk tapped his chin, adding in a quieter tone, “Not to mention that if they have returned, I have quite a few questions for the two.”

Kohaku rolled his eyes from his position at the window. Was the situation with Kagome’s uniform from the previous night really all that interesting? 

“What do you mean?” Shippo tilted his head, but the monk only chuckled and patted him on the head, as if he were still very young. 

“Nothing, nothing.” 

Shippo narrowed both eyes. “It’s not a perverted question, is it?” 

Miroku turned red, eyes darting in Mushin’s direction; the toddler luckily seemed to be fixated on Shippo’s tail. Voice hushing, the monk hissed, “Oh, come on! I have  _ children _ now! And someday they’re going to hear someone say something like that about me, and they’re going to ask me about it, and then I’ll be in a very difficult position!” 

“Uh…” Shippo shook his head. “I guess you should have thought of that before?”

Kohaku couldn’t stifle his snort. 

* * *

“ _ Finally _ , we can leave this ridiculous village,” Jaken snorted, shoving the empty medicine jar into Rin’s arms. “Thank goodness the gods finally showed us some mercy!” 

“I’ll tell Kaede that the medicine worked really well for you, Master Jaken.” Rin turned to look up at Sesshomaru. His forehead was smooth, but she could tell from the glint in his eyes that he was lost in thought. “Where are you heading now?”

“Don’t concern yourself with it!” Jaken rolled his eyes. “Just for once, listen to Lord Sesshomaru and take care of yourself, Rin! Lord Sesshomaru has wasted quite enough time!” 

Rin bowed her head, obviously riddled with guilt. “I’m sorry, Lord Sesshomaru.” 

“Jaken.” Sesshomaru’s voice was chilling, especially compared to the nicer weather. “Give us a moment.” 

“Er, of course.” Taken aback, Jaken wondered if he had taken the wrong tack. His lord hadn’t exactly spoiled Rin, but neither had he ever treated her harshly, as his current tone seemed to imply he was about to do. 

When his servant was waiting outside, Sesshomaru turned to his ward with a foreboding frown. “I hear that you have offered to assist Kohaku in building a shrine for the goddesses. Is this true?”

Rin’s heart sank. So that was why he was upset. “Yes, Lord Sesshomaru.”

“Have you considered the consequences of such a promise?”

“I...yes, I have.” Straightening her back, she tried to speak with resolution, as she knew he respected such things. “I know that my choices have hurt people, including Master Jaken and Lady Kagura and yourself. But please believe that I’m not doing this to drown myself in the bad feelings of the past. I’m doing it because I want to work towards a happier future for all of us.” 

Her lord remained still as he considered what response to give. Rin clutched the medicine jar tight to her chest, waiting. 

“Very well. I will return in several days time to see what has come of your progress.” Lord Sesshomaru turned towards the door. “Do not become used to such frequent visits. They will stop as soon as this business is resolved.” 

Rin kept it to herself that she doubted such things were true. At one point two years prior, Jaken had claimed that her lord was planning to no longer visit her at all. At the time she’d lost quite a bit of sleep over it; but now that her mind was clearer, she knew Lord Sesshomaru had no intentions to truly leave her alone. “Yes, Lord Sesshomaru.” 

He allowed her to step forward and give his arm a squeeze goodbye. Rin knew she was getting a bit old for such things, but if no one seemed to mind then what was the harm? 

“Do as Jaken says and take care of yourself.” His voice softened slightly.

Rin was well-trained to hear it. 

* * *

“How long did that storm last? The well was full of fucking rainwater!” Inuyasha set Kagome down safely before leaping a ways away to shake like a dog. Luckily he’d wrapped up Mama Higurashi’s hakama and obi in some other sets of clothing to keep them safe. But this wasn’t the warmest welcome back to the Feudal era, after their tearful goodbye in Kagome’s time. 

His wife held up her now-very-wet backpack, frowning. “I hope everyone’s gifts are okay…” 

_ “Kagome!”  _

They turned to see Shippo running towards them, a huge smile on his face. Miroku followed a bit of a ways behind, staff jingling. Kagome opened her arms, and the kitsune leapt into them. The damp spot of her wet shirt rubbing against his dry one didn’t even matter; Kagome gave the warmest hugs out of anyone in the village. 

“I thought you’d be back!” He snuggled in against her shoulder. Miroku gave Inuyasha a friendly wave, shouting, “How was the trip?” 

“Great. Much better than the trip back,” Inuyasha grumbled, as he stomped back over. White hair stuck out every which way, and lines of dirt darkened the red of his haori. He sniffed, confused by the mess of scents wafting from his friends’ clothing. “We coulda drowned, for hell’s sake!” 

“Geez, Inuyasha. You look like Sesshomaru did after he went out in the rain to help Rin.” Shippo giggled at the memory, jumping back down to the grass. 

The hanyou wrinkled his nose. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about?”

After hearing everything that had transpired since he’d left, Inuyasha simply stood with his arms crossed and shook his head. “Nope. No way that happened.” 

“It did!” Shippo protested, hands balled into fists. “Miroku, tell him!” 

“Indeed, it is as Shippo relates.” The monk casually flipped open Kagome’s backpack as he spoke, curiosity getting the best of him. She watched him with an amused smile, noticing that part of his hair was sloppily braided; what had happened while everyone was shut in together? “He only just left this morning.” 

“Oh, come on. No way that asshole would stick around here for that long, much less help out the same gods he, yaknow,  _ murdered  _ just because Rin batted her eyelashes at him.” Inuyasha didn’t even want to get into the part where Kagura had helped as well, because that seemed  _ extremely  _ not her style and he didn’t exactly want to know what had motivated it. Besides, ragging on his brother was more fun. 

Kagome rolled her eyes. “I don’t think it happened quite like that, Inuyasha.” 

“Yeah, Rin’s not old enough to bat her lashes at anybody!” Shippo wasn’t sure why saying that made everyone look at him funny; it was the kind of thing Kaede said all the time. “And even if she were, it wouldn’t be at Lord Sesshomaru. He’s like her father--” 

“HA!” Inuyasha barked loudly, face twisting into a strange expression that sent Shippo into a fit of snickering. “ _ Sesshomaru _ is the last person I would ever trust to raise a kid. Why do you think he pawned Rin off on us in the first place?” 

“Ah,” Miroku interrupted, pulling a box of pocky from the backpack with a pleased smile. “Technically, Rin was pawned off Kaede, and much of her actual raising was taken up by Sango and myself. Speaking of which, I have plenty of advice for you with regards to fatherhood, Inuyasha.”

“Eh?” Shippo looked up at the hanyou. “Why would you need Miroku’s advice?” 

Inuyasha and Kagome stood in mutual shock for a moment, before turning to scream at each other in perfect harmony.

“ _ I can’t believe you told him!”  _

* * *

Sesshomaru stared down at the disk, lip curling. Shoddy workmanship, for it to be a godly item. Totosai touched it much more gently and reverently than it deserved. 

“Not exactly your type,” the weapon-smith muttered. “Where did you say you found this?” 

“That is no business of yours! Simply tell Lord Sesshomaru what can be done with it!” 

“Jaken.” The tone of the daiyokai’s voice sent Jaken hurrying away, only to narrowly avoid crashing into a wall of spears.

“I suppose you’re wanting to add it to your collection.” Totosai’s gaze drew to the swords at his customer’s side. “Are Bakusaiga, Tenseiga, poison claws,  _ and  _ fangs not enough?” 

Sesshomaru’s surprise was evident. “So it does not require one to be a god to wield it?”

“To wield it  _ properly _ , sure. But any creature could use it to wreak havoc. Gods aren’t as intentional with their weaponry as demons are. Most of their power comes from their ego, not what they use to direct it.” Totosai scratched his head, squinting at the disk. “Ah, this piece is calling to the other one.” 

“The other what?” Jaken squawked, glaring at the weapon-smith. 

“The second piece is out there somewhere. Seems they have been apart for quite some time…” Sympathy colored Totosai’s tone. 

Sesshomaru thought back to his attack on the fire gods’ camp, then his assaults on the goddesses in the forest. He had only broken the one jar--the one belonging to Akari. But this lid belonged to Nagisa. If her jar remained intact--

“If we find goddess’ jar, then you could use it to destroy her, Lord Sesshomaru!” Jaken jumped up and down, eyes bugging from his head. Totosai calmly turned his back, hiding what he thought of such a plan. 

“Tell me how to find the other piece.” Sesshomaru’s eyes gleamed. The old yokai sighed heavily, but turned back to face him. His eyes darted around suspiciously. 

“With age comes confusing thoughts. I don’t know if I could remember exactly how--”

Sesshomaru’s hand rested calmly on Bakusaiga. 

“Ah, I recall now! Simply toss it into the breeze, and the wind will carry it back.” Totosai chuckled mirthlessly. “Either to the other piece, or to its maker. Would you be disappointed by one over the other?” 


	31. Twenty Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A. Sorry for the delay, work has been very, very busy.

_ “IT’S NOT FAIR!” Brother roared, smashing one foot on the remains of Sister’s loom. “They’re born of Her necklace! Can’t She make them stop?”  _

_ Older Brother shook His head. “She’s refusing to talk to you.”  _

_ With a growl, Brother stared at the storm rolling about in His fist. So what if one of the attendants was dead? That wasn’t important, not when the brats had redirected His rain and wind. All to protect some silly little village, only one of billions in the world (as if anyone cared). Who did they think they were, to do that?!  _

_ Drawing His robe of stars more closely around Him, Older Brother frowned. “You brought them to life, even though it was Her object. Could you not deal with them yourself?” _

_ Brother laughed. Why should He? Their powers were just like Sister’s light--it was Her responsibility. “Where is She?” _

_ Older Brother looked away and didn’t answer; fury burned deep in Brother’s stomach. Older Brother didn’t get along with Sister anymore, after their separation. What reason did He have, to take Her side?  _

_ “Tell Her to come out and deal with it, or—or I’ll leave this realm!” To show He meant business, He smashed the wood again, sending splinters glancing off Older Brother’s legs. The other deity’s face twisted in an annoyed grimace.  _

_ “Fine. Go, then.” He shrugged. “This is your own doing, for killing Her servant.”  _

_ How could He--She was the one who---if the children hadn’t— _

_ With an angry scream, Brother stomped away. They’d all regret it soon--He was going to find a new wife, and grow even more powerful, and He would never, ever come back to apologize. Then they’d all see!  _

* * *

“So you’re going to have a baby?” Words coming out around a mouthful of candy, Shippo squinted at Kagome’s abdomen. Now that he was paying close enough attention, her scent had changed a little bit--the same way Sango’s had, when she was pregnant both times. He gave her a smile, although the mental list of all the things that could be tricky about it was already forming. “Are you excited?”

“Yeah. I really am.” She patted his head, smiling. “By the way, thank you so much for keeping the house for us. It was a big help!”

Shippo nodded; he’d do anything for Kagome. Swallowing down the sweetness, he said, “Having everybody here was kind of fun. Are you and Inuyasha going to leave me in charge again the next time you go visit your mom?” 

“I think that’s a good idea. We haven’t really talked about going back, though…” Kagome glanced over at Inuyasha. The hanyou wasn’t paying attention; Sango and Miroku were still trying to catch him up on the goings-on of the past few days. 

Which was proving difficult. 

Mostly because he still refused to believe some of the events entirely. 

“Okay, fine,” Sango snapped, “Forget about what your brother said. Anyway, the ghost ended up being Kilala. She got all tangled in Kagome’s uniform—”

“Ah!” The priestess clapped both hands together, drawing the other adults’ attention. “I forgot to mention, Inuyasha. I was planning to use that for something for the baby. Of course, now that we can just get clothes when we need them, I should probably put it away again…”

“Oh, so  _ that’s  _ why you had it hanging up.” Miroku was doing a poor job of hiding his amusement; Shippo rolled his eyes as Sango elbowed her husband sharply. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, I can’t believe your brother was dumb enough to wake up the other goddess. That was a risky fucking move.” Inuyasha leaned forward, eyes narrowed. “And then she came to him in a  _ dream _ ?”

Sango sighed and nodded. “Both goddesses did. He’s going to build the shrine they want, once the ground is a little drier. I think Rin said she would help, too.”

“Keh. Don’t see why we should do that, after everything those wenches did.”

“It was thanks to them that you and Kagome could go back to her time,” Miroku pointed out. 

“Also,” Kagome added, scooching closer to the group, “When I talked to Akari in my dream, she seemed really depressed, not exactly angry. And the fire deities are the ones who stopped the storm?”

Sango nodded. “That’s what we think.” 

“So they are capable of helping us. Maybe Akari and Nagisa want to help now, too?” 

“Fire guys, Akari, Naga-somethin’,” Inuyasha groaned. “There’s too many. It’s all confusing.” 

“The storm goddesses are scarier than the fire ones,” Shippo said, shuddering. “Nagisa tried to kill Kagura, remember? And Akari tried to take Rin away before!” 

“Then why didn’t they come to Rin in a dream?” Kagome shook her head at him. “Wanting a shrine makes it seem like they want to stay here, not go away.” 

“Them stayin’ here might be worse for us,” Inuyasha snorted. Sango hummed in agreement. 

“Isn’t this nice?” Miroku said suddenly. Each member of the group turned to look at him in confusion. The monk chuckled jovially. “It’s like old times, the five of us discussing our theories about possible enemies and allies. Kagome wanting to see the best in people, Inuyasha preferring to think of the worst possible consequences…” 

“Huh,” Sango turned to share a smile with Kagome. “I guess it is.”

“Except Miroku isn’t always trying to grab you,” Kagome teased back. 

Ignoring Shippo’s snicker, Miroku appeared to have prepared for that. “Yes, and you no longer threaten to run home because of Inuyasha’s loyalties to Kikyo.”

“Hey!” The hanyou snarled towards his friend, reaching an arm towards Kagome as though half-expecting her to flounce out of the room at the mention of his ex-lover. “Don’t go bringin’ that up!” 

“Yeah, using Kikyo is a low blow!” Shippo crossed both arms over his chest, glaring at the monk. “Even if it is effective…” 

“Of course, they do still bicker a little bit,” Sango mused, eyes twinkling with mischief. “But it’s not nearly as bad as it used to be. Right, Miroku?”

Inuyasha glared at her, mouthing something close to ‘traitor’. 

“Not at all, beloved. And dare I say, since the wedding, you don’t seem to mind my—”

“MIROKU!” Kagome slammed both hands over Shippo’s ears, while both Sango and Inuyasha kicked out at the monk, who dodged their attacks with ease. 

“Gods,” he sniffed, dragging one hand over his eyes. “It truly _ is _ just like the old days…

* * *

It had taken hours, but after combing the area of the forest where he’d killed the fire gods, he had found it. 

A green jar, made of some substance that appeared both clay or glass. The weeks of absence and heavy rain had sunken it half-way in a dark stretch of mud; Jaken had submerged himself up to the waist in order to retrieve it. 

The lid fit snugly into the mouth of the jar, as if relieved. Immediately, he felt the aura of the object increase, reverberating a heavy thrum throughout his hands. 

Jaken hadn’t been quite as impressed. He’d skulked off to clean up, leaving Sesshomaru alone with the object. 

Which was good, because he wouldn’t have wanted his servant to witness his rare, unexpected moment of inner conflict. 

Indeed, he was curious to experiment with the weapon. A jar was not a typical element for combat, elemental powers or no. Akari’s had seemed to work simply by removing the lid, but this one had been without its other half for so long that it was difficult to tell if the same would be true. 

But some strange, nagging unease kept nibbling at the corner of his mind. His thoughts drew to when he had disarmed Akari in the forest, after she had taken Rin. When the jar had cracked open, releasing much of its power, so too had it released Kagura. 

Even now, he could still hear the echoes of the wind witch’s furious screaming. She’d thrashed about like a madwoman. Not to injure him, but for some other reason he could not seem to put into words. Despite his assurances that she was no longer in harm’s way--for what could be a safer place than right beside  _ him,  _ the one who had killed six gods?--Kagura had been distraught. 

Since then, it had become clear to him that time did not lessen the fear from such experiences. He’d thought it a weakness specific to humans like Rin or Kohaku, but clearly that was not the case--whether or not he judged them for it, life seemed to leave its scars on many creatures. And those wounds continued to bleed, if only below the surface. 

So, despite his common sense, the question plagued him: 

_ Would Kagura despise me if she knew I held a weapon that had been used against her in such a way? _

Of course, he had no responsibility to her if that was the case. First, she not only crossed paths with the goddess and neglected to kill her, but also handed her a divine object that could act as a weapon all on its own. Now she had returned to where such an enemy dwelled. Did the stupid woman have a death wish? It seemed unlikely, for a being so pathetically obsessed with her own mortality. 

Perhaps she was still upset about him calling her intolerable. Although she hadn’t  _ seemed _ that bothered when they’d last spoken _ — _ not to mention it wasn’t the first time he’d directed such an insult at the wind witch. Yes, in the time since her resurrection, he’d said quite a few things that a weaker being might consider to be harsh…

Faintly, her words from a while back echoed in his ears: “ _ You’re terrible at flirting!”  _

Sesshomaru brushed them away with a sharp twist of his head. That was wrong on both counts. He hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true, and he had not been flirting. And even if he had _ — _ which was completely, absolutely false _ — _ it wasn’t like guilt was an emotion that a being of his abilities was capable of. 

_ Except... _

_ I have felt guilt before—for Rin, both when she died, and with her current troubles.  _

_ Gods, what is becoming of me?  _

To his relief, at that moment Jaken returned, skin damp and wrinkled from scrubbing the muck off. “Shall we return to the castle, Lord Sesshomaru?”

“It would be foolish to go anywhere else.” Like the northern woods, for instance. Not that he had any inclination to head there. The daiyokai had a hunch that the goddesses might be more powerful as a pair, especially with the cup in their possession. He needed time to figure out how to use the intact jar before ambushing them with it. 

“I fear the storm shall pass us by as it heads towards the ocean.” Jaken frowned up at the sky, already starting to sweat from stress. “Just our luck, isn’t it, Lord Ses—”

His words morphed into a screech as he saw his lord had already headed out of the field, leaving him behind. “Ah, Lord Sesshomaru! Wait for meeeee!” 

* * *

“It looks…nice?” 

Rin squinted at the piece of paper, where Kohaku had been hastily sketching a general design. She’d watched Shippo and Kaede make the structures for the fire deities, but that had been a bit more rushed and simplistic than what the taijiya seemed to be doing. 

He must have noticed the confusion in her eyes, because he paused in his drawing to explain. “In the village where I came from, everyone viewed relationships with the divine realm as very important. We prayed to protect slayers on missions, and used offerings and sutras to purify people's homes after dealing with so much demonic energy. My mother...apparently built a lot of shrines before she got married." 

His voice grew tighter, the way it always did when he talked about where he came from. Rin knew he’d been younger than she was now, when everyone in the demon village had died. The rest of the words came out stilted. 

"Sango would tell me that gods with certain elemental forms required safety and sustenance above all else. But deities in a human form, or something that we can’t house_—_like a mountain_—_don’t need a shrine built the same way.” 

Rin pointed at the picture, hoping to distract him away from the memories if they were hurting.  “Are we building one shrine for both of them?” 

Kohaku nodded. “Akari seems to keep Nagisa grounded, so I think respecting and encouraging that bond will be good for them.” 

“Ah, okay.” Rin took the ink from him. On another piece of paper, she started to draw the design that she remembered from the lid of Akari’s jar. But then, maybe that was not a good thing_—_if Akari’s father had given her the object from abandoning her, wouldn’t it bring back bad memories? She rubbed it out, staining her thumb black. “Where do you think we should put the shrine, Kohaku?”

He shrugged, turning to look out from the porch they sat on. Gold light still draped around the buildings of the village; he wondered how long the fire deities’ power would last, especially against the storm of a much stronger god. 

“We could put it at the edge of the forest. In between the trees and the village, so they’re kind of connected.” Rin scrawled a character on the page-- _ peace.  _

“That’s a good idea.” Kohaku pointed to part of the shape he’d drawn. “I left this part of the structure open, so that when it rains the water will flow around it instead of pooling. That will also let the rain and wind move on a path between the forest and the village.”

Speaking of the wind...“Do you think Lady Kagura will come see it when we’re done?” 

Kohaku frowned. Something about the witch seemed to be troubling him; Rin wondered what it could be. “I don’t know. It seems like she wants to keep to herself.” 

“I don’t know if that’s true, though.” Rin remembered how upset the sorceress had been when she’d run from the house. Even after that, she’d returned with Lord Sesshomaru when he’d gone to get medicine. And even before that, she had come to help them rescue the fire gods’ altars. Why would Kagura have done that, if she didn’t want to be around anybody? “I think Lady Kagura wants to be friends. Maybe she just doesn’t know how to do that.” 

Kohaku swallowed back the urge to point out that was a common problem among their group. “I guess she’s kind of like the goddesses in that way.”

Rin looked around carefully to make sure they were alone, before cupping one hand over her lips. “Did you know that Lord Sesshomaru likes her?”

“Well...” A blush crossed the taijiya’s face. “Maybe we shouldn’t gossip about such things…”

“It’s not gossip. He acts like he doesn’t, but I can tell.” Rin hushed even quieter. “I know him best, after Master Jaken. He tried confessing to her, but I don’t think it went well.” 

Kohaku raised an eyebrow. Just last night, Rin had opened up about some very difficult feelings about the Western Lord. Now she was telling him private details about the daiyokai’s own heart, that he usually kept quite guarded (when he even admitted he had one). How many secrets was Kohaku going to be tasked to keep? 

Rin tilted her head at him expectantly. After a moment, he gave in and responded in hushed tone of his own, “You know, I told her about that time we were in the Underworld and how he acted. I thought that maybe she would see he’s not the same demon who refused to help before.”

“I think she rejected _ him _ this time. Dealing with the goddesses must have scared her a lot, so she doesn’t want to be trust anybody.” The girl shook her head mournfully. The mention of the Underworld hadn’t forced a physical reaction from her, but that didn’t stop Kohaku from immediately regretting that he’d mentioned it. “I wish we could make her feel better...” 

“She’ll just keep running away if we try.” 

Rin smiled a bit sadly; that made sense, of course. Trusting other people was hard, when it kept ending up in pain. Looking up to meet Kohaku’s eyes, she spoke a little louder. “You know, after I stuck with Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken, I felt a lot better than when I was alone. Even if it was scary at first.”

“Yeah. When I was with Naraku…” He swallowed, taking a long moment before finishing. “It was a little bit easier knowing Kagura hated him, too.”

Patting his arm comfortingly, Rin turned her attention back to the pictures in front of them. “It’s too bad we can’t build Lady Kagura a shrine to fix everything, isn’t it?”

“Yeah...” Kohaku thought of the fan tucked inside the pocket of his robe. Would she be missing it, even if she’d left it behind on purpose? 

The ground would be more stable the following day. Perhaps instead of building the shrine right away, he had another task to complete first...


	32. Twenty Seven

_ It had taken four passes with the cup before Nagisa was free of the dog demon poison. The remnants of it left a dark patch on the ground, where nothing would ever grow again; but she supposed that was a small price to pay, for life. _

_ Then came the real work. _

_ Akari supposed shifting forms hadn’t been too difficult on her five brothers--concentrating power into a small burst of flame? That was practically simple. But what she and Nagisa had planned stretched further. It required preparation. These forms were meant to last for a long time, sustained by the world’s elements. _

_ They wouldn’t need protection from mere humans, if they did it right. _

_ But it was hard to be patient, and hopeful, when at every turn the monster’s breath beat down their backs. Or when Father’s angry storm blew closer, raining down hard upon them as they carved out handfuls of mud, grass, and roots. _

_ Nagisa called the winds to help, which sped up the work some. _

_ Akari saw their brothers’ light over the village and felt her heart soften a little, which eased the burden of fear. _

_ They didn’t eat. _

_ Or rest. _

_ Or speak. _

_ They simply kept moving forward. _

_ At last, all was ready. _

_ The sisters joined hands, breathing as one. The transformation required them to fully let go of their power for a short time, the most vulnerable they could ever be. Once transformed, neither would be able to use the cup again, nor the jars if they happened to find another one. _

_ Chills erupted on Akari’s arms every time she thought about it--how frightening it all was. _

_ But hadn’t everything up unto this moment been frightening? Nothing had helped, or protected them. _

_ The only thing left to do was change. _

* * *

Inuyasha glared at the spot on his roof where Sesshomaru had slammed Tenseiga into the tile. Growling, he called down to the courtyard, “Lucky for you, it doesn’t look like it got any worse.” 

“I told you!” Shippo bounced up and down, splattering some mud on the edge of Kagome’s robe. “Besides, Inuyasha, you told me to watch the house, not fix the roof!” 

“Yeah. I told_ Kohaku _ to do that, but now he’s too busy buildin’ stupid altars for stupid gods.” The hanyou crouched down as the words left his mouth, just in case a bolt of lightning came to strike him down for talking shit about the divine. When nothing happened, he leapt down, sliding around only a little on the soggy ground. “Ugh, can’t this shit dry any faster?” 

“Be careful.” Kagome reached out to help steady him, nearly losing her own footing. 

“Be careful, yourself!” Her husband snapped back, helping to right them both. 

“Geez, what are you so irritated for?” Shippo crossed both arms over his chest with a scowl. “Kagome came back in a good mood, but you’re just as mean as ever.” 

“I ain’t mean!” Inuyasha turned to Kagome, waiting for her to back him up. 

“Well, you have been a little short-tempered since we got back…” She kept her hand on his shoulder. “Is something bothering you?” 

Inuyasha sputtered, eyes flicking between her and Shippo. With a knowing sigh, the kitsune turned tail on both adults. 

“Inuyasha’s not going to open up about his feelings while I’m here. See you later, Kagome.”

“Hey!” Before the hanyou could defend himself, Shippo had slogged away. Kagome leaned in closer, face drawn in concern. 

“Come on, let’s go somewhere private to talk about how you’re feeling.”

“I don’t have feelings!”

Kagome’s expression hardened dangerously. “_ Inuyasha _…”

“Okay, okay, fine.” 

Once they were inside, bowls of instant ramen in each of their laps, Kagome looked expectantly at her husband. “Well?” 

He mumbled through a mouthful of noodles, “‘Just…’s weird.” 

“What is?”

“That a bunch of stuff happened while we were gone.” Shoulders tensing up, he sighed, “First the goddesses are tryin’ to kidnap Rin, or kill people, and now all of a sudden they just want a shrine?” 

“It didn’t happen just like that. I talked to Akari, remember? And maybe Kohaku’s version of the ritual worked a little bit to calm their spirits.” She couldn’t resist pointing out, “Not to mention Sango could barely get through the details of the story without you interrupting.” Baring her teeth and lowering her voice, she mimicked his informal speech. “_ That didn’t happen.” _

“Well, she was sayin’ a lot of stuff that sounded fake.” He punctuated his retort with a loud slurp of broth. “Like Sesshomaru stayin’ here all night. If his scent wasn’t all over the place, I wouldn’t believe it.” 

“Why not? He’s visited Rin plenty of times before, and the weather was bad.” Kagome took a few bites of her meal, waiting for him to answer. He didn’t. Sighing, she set the ramen down. “Okay, what’s going on? It seems like lately, any mention of your brother sets you off. Even more than usual. Is it because he killed the gods--” 

“_ Yes. _It’s his fault we’re dealing with all this.” Inuyasha kept both eyes on his ramen; combined with his quick response, Kagome knew that there was more to it than that. Calculatedly, she held out the remains of her meal.

“Tell me the truth, and you can have the rest of mine.” 

His eyes flicked between the cup and her face. “Nah, you need that for the pup.” 

“I ate most of it, and it’s not like I’m starving to death.” Waving the cup back and forth, she said, “Come on, Inuyasha. What is it you don’t want to say?” 

His claws pushed the instant ramen back into her lap. “Seriously, eat it. But if you really want to know…” 

Kagome fluttered both eyelashes at him. 

“It’s just weird.” His hand smoothed over his chest, where Kagome knew a scar from his worst fight with Sesshomaru lay. “To have him around, and hear everyone talk all impressed about him, or like it’s funny. When he’s such a _ dick _.” 

“Sesshomaru has shown he has a nicer side,” Kagome said gently, cradling the still-warm cup against her abdomen. “It’s because of him that we have Rin in our lives. And even before that, he gave you the Meidō Zangetsuha technique, and protected all of us during the final battle.”

“That doesn’t mean I forgive him.” Teeth gritting together, the hanyou slipped his hands into opposite sleeves. His tone darkened, as though the pain of the memories spread into deep fissures inside his throat. “When we went back to your time, everyone was happy to see us. They were excited to hear that we got married, and we're havin’ a kid. 

I’m no idiot--when the baby’s born, it could be totally human. Your family won’t care about that. But if anything happened to us, you think _ he’d _ take care of it? Not a chance. It doesn’t matter that it’s his own blood--so long as it ain’t a full demon, he’s not giving a shit.” Inuyasha shook his head. “And I don’t have a mom or dad or grandfather to pick up the slack.” 

Kagome’s heart twisted. She’d expected that the baby would remind Inuyasha of his difficult childhood, but she hadn’t quite thought it played such a huge part in his issues with his half-brother. Asking if the two dog demons had ever talked about it would be ridiculous; neither was exactly the ‘working-it-out’ type. And despite her hope that Sesshomaru felt a _ little _bad about how he’d treated Inuyasha, especially now that he’d learned to care for humans through Rin, there was no way to convince her husband that it was true. 

“I’m sorry, Inuyasha. You’ve been thinking about that a lot, haven’t you?” 

“I guess.” He shrugged. After a moment, he reached over to tap the cup in her lap. “Finish it. Please?”

Instead of arguing, Kagome brought the ramen to her lips and slurped up the rest of the noodles. Tipping the cup so he could see it was empty, she offered him her warmest smile. 

“I hope that Sesshomaru can show you through his actions that things aren’t the same as when you were a kid, Inuyasha. But even if he doesn’t, just remember that there are many other people we can rely on now--Shippo, Sango, Miroku, Kaede, Rin, the rest of our family. Even if the worst happens, our baby will never be alone.” 

To her relief, the words brought a soft smile to his face. In a moment he’d moved forward to pull her into a warm embrace. “You’re damn right.” 

Kagome snuggled into his warmth, blushing. “Now, why don’t you take some ramen to Shippo to apologize for earlier?” 

Her husband’s loud groan of annoyance in her ear only made her giggle. 

“Can’t we just leave the runt be an’ enjoy some time alone?”

“We just had a vacation,” she teased, wrapping both arms around him anyway. 

“We weren’t _ alone _ alone, though _ , _” he whined, shaking her back and forth a little bit. In fact, he’d tried to intentionally give Kagome space to be with her family, after so much time apart from them. (The success of that was...debatable, depending on who you asked.)

Kagome rolled her eyes. “At some point this clinginess is going to get old.” 

One ear flicked back and forth. “Is it old _ now _?” 

“...no.” 

Huffing as though he’d won, Inuyasha squeezed her tighter. 

* * *

Grumbling, Jaken pushed the towel from one side of the hall to the other. A mess, as usual; as soon as they’d heard about the jar, the yokai servants of Lord Sesshomaru’s employ had taken every opportunity to make themselves scarce.

Including the single wind yokai whose job it was to keep the castle clean. 

Which meant that all the muck from the storm that was tracked in had left many footprints all over, which just _ wouldn’t do. _So, like a good retainer, Jaken had taken it upon himself to make sure everything in the estate was properly taken care of. 

Scrubbing at a particularly stubborn spot on the floor, he groaned at the ache spiralling up and down his back. His earlier illness, though healed through the human priestess’ concoction, had weakened him enough that even a little labor left him exhausted. Sludging through the mud to get to the goddess’ jar...he’d been happy to do it, of course, he would do anything Lord Sesshomaru requested, but it had just been so _ draining. _

At least it was for a good cause. With that jar, Lord Sesshomaru could finally use the goddess’ power against them, perhaps destroying them for good. Granted, that hadn’t really worked out very well with the other gods, but Jaken knew better than to point that out. And of course, Lord Sesshomaru would kill a thousand gods if it was to help Rin. 

She was a lucky little human girl, Jaken thought to himself. If only she would stop dragging trouble along after her, the same way everyone dragged mud and rainwater into the hall, then everything would be fine. 

After all, Lord Sesshomaru had other things to attend to. Treaties, taxes, demands for protection and justice and general decision-making--all the things that Jaken had hoped he would settle down and pay attention to once Naraku’s reign was over. And yet, they were the things that managed to fall close to the end of his Lord’s to-do list, season after season. 

Not that he would ever question it! Certainly Lord Sesshomaru knew what he was doing, Jaken scolded himself. Besides, such things (usually, sometimes) got done (eventually).

He’d even managed to squeeze in a visit to his mother, which Jaken knew had not been planned for a least another decade or so. It was clear that, while Lord Sesshomaru did love and trust the Lady of the Sky Castle, such visits took a great toll on him. 

Dipping his towel back into the bucket of cleaning solution, Jaken shook his head. No doubt the Lady had bothered Lord Sesshomaru about his lack of an heir to the Western throne (which Jaken was aware had been the last item on the to-do-list for almost two hundred years). Hopefully he’d explained to her everything of such great importance that came first, including this foolish business with the deities. 

A distant roaring (and the frightened squeals of servant yokai hiding in the upstairs) echoed around the hall. Jaken paused in his work; nervous sweat trickled down his beak. He had suggested to Lord Sesshomaru--only suggested, because a retainer could never demand anything of his employer--to practice wielding the jar out of doors, instead of within his own estate. 

Lest something (someone) (anyone) (Jaken) get hurt by it. 

As usual, his Lord had not taken his perspective into account. 

Yet another reason he was glad for this whole business to be done with; Lord Sesshomaru had reacted to much of 'the goddess situation' with such impulsiveness. Privately, Jaken knew exactly who he blamed for _ that _. 

Kagura, the bossy, poor-mannered, former servant of Naraku. Despite Jaken’s fervent prayers (the towel slipped from his claws as he considered with panic if the deities who had heard them were, in fact, the same ones his lord had slaughtered), it appeared that she was the one whom Lord Sesshomaru had chosen to grant his affections.

Not that Jaken would ever suggest such a thing outright. Perhaps neither of them were totally aware of it. But being in the position that he was in, Jaken had to know a lot of things ahead of time.

Had he tried to deny it, for his own peace of mind? Oh, certainly--as soon as he’d seen his Lord cradling the freed witch while she threw a tantrum in the forest, after the jar had cracked, Jaken had set aside quite a bit of time to hoping and praying it wasn’t true. And, when Sesshomaru had returned that evening in poor temper, because of something Kagura had done or said, how comforting that had been! 

But then, when the audacious taijiya woman had all but pointed it out, and his Lord had _ not _ripped her limb from limb? 

Unfortunately, there had been no hope after that. 

Shifting his attention from the floor to the wall, Jaken shook his head. Kagura was the worst possible choice for a future bride, except for maybe the fact that she wasn’t human. 

Though she _ was _part of the most evil half-demon of their era and the next. 

And also supremely annoying. 

But Lord Sesshomaru’s choices had been giving Jaken headaches for a while, and if he was lucky, then they would continue to do so for many years to come. 

* * *

Rin tried to hold back her laugh.

“What’s this, Lady Kaede?” 

Kaede stood solemnly in front of the giant wooden tub filled with rocks. Waving a hand over the stones, she uttered, “For years, I have collected these on my walks around the village and the nearby fields. Once they have received a dozen blessings, they are ready to be used to build our holy spaces."

Before Rin could even ask, the old woman clicked her tongue. "They aren’t the same as the shintai. Those I could not show to anyone, except another priestess.” She bowed her head. “I have had the Buddist monks Mushin and Miroku bless these stones as well. Just in case.” 

“Is all that...the usual way to build a shrine, Lady Kaede?” 

She scoffed. “It matters not that no other village follows my lead. With how many demons we carry in our midst--and all the trouble they bring with them--I figure that we need all the luck we can get.” 

“Ah, okay.” Rin took a step forward to touch a deep blue-colored rock (most likely pulled from a river), then pulled her hand back at the last moment. “Can I touch them?” 

“Oh, certainly.” Kaede waved her hand rather dismissively for her earlier dramatics. “They can’t hurt you.”

Testing the weight of the river stone in her palm, Rin tried to imagine a structure like the picture Kohaku had drawn. Many of the rocks in Kaede’s tub were pretty colors, and most had been worn smooth by the wind. They’d be easy to build with. “Do we have to use stones, or could we just build it with wood, like we would a house?” 

Kaede dug one arm into the tub. In a moment, she pulled free a large rock--it filled her entire palm, and she hefted it from one hand to the other as she spoke. “For the deities we are working with, child, I doubt that it matters. I just hope that this will bring them peace.” 

Perhaps the reasons didn’t have that much to do with the fact that they were gods, she thought. After all, having a space meant just for you, where you could be talked to and praised and given things, sounded nice for anyone. She herself had spent years wishing for people to think of and care about her. Maybe Nagisa and Akari didn’t know how else to think of it, other than having humans worship them. 

“I hope they can find peace, too.” Carefully, she started to pull out the rocks that looked like they’d be easy enough to stack together. Kaede watched her work for a while, before speaking again. 

“And what of your own peace, Rin?” 

Building a tower of three stones, the girl paused, trying to untwist the words in her brain. “Lady Kaede, do you remember when Yukina gave birth?” 

The old woman nodded sagely. That had only been Rin’s second time helping with midwifery duties, a few months before she’d assisted with Sango’s twins. Yukina was a strong girl, one of the most cheerful and hardworking farmers in the village; however, as soon as her contractions had started, fear and panic had completely overwhelmed her. It hadn’t helped that the birth was earlier than expected, and that Yukina’s husband was the squeamish sort. 

“She cried the whole time, and for a few days afterwards, even though the baby was fine. Then for a while, everything seemed okay. But a couple years later, she came and told you she wanted to make sure she wouldn’t have another baby.” Rin met Kaede’s eyes. “The physical pain was gone, but the pain in her heart stuck, so badly she didn’t want to ever think about it again.” 

The priestess placed the rock in her hand back with the others. “And what about that story relates to yourself?” 

“When she was asking you to help her at that time, she said something like...she couldn’t fix what had already happened, but she wanted things to be better.” Rin thought about the shaking in the village girl’s voice when she’d spoken about phantom pains, and the constant anxiety every time she felt nauseous. How much she loved her child, but couldn’t stand the thought of bearing them a sibling. Even though it had happened years ago, the memory was so_ clear _. “So that’s how I feel about everything. It’s not getting fixed, but it’s getting better.” 

“Ah.” Kaede smiled gently, as though they hadn’t been talking about anything remotely difficult at all. “And you have been asking for help when you need it?”

“Yes.” There were more people she’d found to talk to lately than she’d thought. And having something to do--like building the shrine, not just waiting around hiding--was helpful, too. It made Rin feel stronger than she had before. 

“Excellent.” Kaede gestured dramatically once more to the rock collection. “Then let us get what we need, so that we can not fix things! Only rocks that merely make it better will do!” 

Rin couldn’t hold back; she laughed. 

* * *

_ Of course I lost it somewhere. _

Kagura cursed her carelessness. The fan had been such a useful tool; but in all her running around the village during the storm, and changing clothes, she’d misplaced it somewhere. It felt like a punishment from fate, to be left without it when she had so much work to do. 

Though her hut had survived the storm, all of Kagura’s regular food sources were pretty much destroyed. The garden she’d planned out was a swamp, the stretch of berry bushes thrashed bare; even the vines bearing early-autumn fruit hung limp and soggy from tree trunks, their prizes rotted through. Fishing in the stream was a poor idea--the waterline was probably still swollen past the shore from all the rain. 

_ I should start storing things for times like these, _ she thought, picking her way through the mud. _ Also, find some shoes… _

It was after an almost hour-long search that she finally found a thatch of edible plants, left relatively dry thanks to the shelter made from a fallen tree. They ripped up from the earth easily, and she ate as much as she could as she tried to think what to do first: find more food for later, save what she could from the garden, or ready her home against potential attacks? 

The first option was the most practical, and she was supposed to be acting practically now. So, breaking apart into a chilly gust of air, Kagura headed out to explore. 

_ There’s no choice but to go deeper into the forest, where the storm might not have reached as far. If I see any sign of the goddesses, I’ll just change course and stay away. _

As it turned out, there was no need to worry. Kagura didn’t meet anyone at all, as she moved through the trees. The forest was a sea of green and brown, swallowing her whole. Despite the occasional bird squawking, there wasn’t much else moving around. It was almost like anything alive had disappeared, leaving only the sorceress herself. 

It should have made it easier to focus on her task. Hell, she should have enjoyed not having to worry about other people’s annoying chatter, or their pointless emotions. 

Being alone should have been a relief. 

.

.

.

Several hours later, as she made it back to her hut carrying an armful of mud-stained roots and herbs, Kagura was ready to scream. 


	33. Twenty Eight

_ “This again?”  _

_ She twisted around in her bonds to look at Naraku, eyebrow raised.  _

_ “Seriously, aren’t you bored by now? It’s always the same thing.”  _

_ The half-demon bared his teeth at her; insulted, he yanked the chain around her neck down, so that they were nose-to-nose.  _

_ “It’s  _ ** _your _ ** _ pathetic little brain we’re in, Kagura.” Blood swelled out of the corner of his mouth, dribbling onto the stone floor. The rough edge of the chain-collar bit into the hair at the base of her scalp, and Kagura gritted her teeth in pain. “I’m here because you want me here.”  _

_ “Liar.”  _

_ Snickering, he let the chain slacken. Kagura felt the tell-tale pressure in her chest strengthen, squeezing her lungs in a painful crescendo.  _

_ “Why else do you keep coming back to me here?” Naraku’s hiss was full of glee as Kagura struggled to breathe. “Is it possible that you find safety in me, Kagura? In the arms of your old master?”  _

_ The chains disappeared, leaving Kagura to collapse. But instead of hitting the hard floor, her body was held up by a pair of claws digging painfully into her arms, puncturing the skin. Naraku shook her a little, making her teeth clack together.  _

_ “ _ ** _I_ ** _ gave you the heart beating inside your chest, Kagura.  _ ** _I _ ** _ built the body your soul is carried in. We always return here because this is where you belong. You know it, don’t you?” _

_ Blood trailed down from where his nails bit into her arms. Fighting against his crushing grip, Kagura spat, “You always spout the same bullshit every time! Just leave me alone!”  _

_ Dark eyes crinkled, as he gave her a wicked smile. “As you wish.”  _

_ This time, when she fell, it did hurt.  _

_ Cursing, Kagura stumbled to her hands and knees, feeling grit dig into the skin of her palms. It was so dark and quiet, all of a sudden--just like being back in the jar. Panic thudded in her chest, like someone was trapped inside her lungs and trying to punch themselves free.  _

_ Naraku, Kanna, Kohaku, Hakudoshi--they were all gone. She was trapped in this nothingness, all alone.  _

_ Alone.  _

_ Alone.  _

** _Alone. _ ** ****

_ “Kagura?”  _

_ The voice was quiet, hesitant. She twisted around, searching for the creature it belonged to, but she still couldn’t see anything. She stretched her arm as far as it would go and waved it about. There was nothing here, so why couldn't she move forward?  _

_ “Hey, Kagura, are you here?”  _

_ Who was it? Were they here to help her?  _

_ Her tongue felt leadened, swelling to fill her mouth so she couldn’t speak. Trying to say anything just resulted in a faint cough. The voice seemed to be all around--without any light, she had no clue which direction to stumble towards. Kagura twisted around, desperately trying to figure out what to do.  _

_ The voice repeated her name, before adding in a disappointed sigh, “I’m not waiting for you forever, you know.”  _

** _I’m here! _ **

_ Her nails broke as they scraped against the floor.  _

** _Please don’t go, I’m right here..._ ** ****

The ceiling to her hut was a welcome relief from the total darkness, as she awoke. Beneath her sleeping mat, the ground to the hut was freezing cold. What had happened to the strange, unseasonable heat? Her fingers groped around for the fan before remembering that she’d lost it. 

“Stupid fucking dreams.” There was no way that the words her master had spoken were true; none of the things he usually said were, anyway. She pressed one hand to her chest, rubbing the space over her heart. 

Daylight hadn’t broken yet, but that didn’t give Kagura much comfort. What was she supposed to do with her day once the sun came up? More wandering around the forest, trying not to starve? 

Wind ruffled through her bangs, heading towards the door of the house. She ignored it, even though her bones tickled with the urge to obey. It was too much like that storm god’s power, or the jar, drawing the air closer with hunger. 

Well, Kagura wouldn’t let herself be devoured; rolling over, she curled deeper into her blanket. 

Her hand remained pressed to her skin as she willed herself back to sleep. 

* * *

Kagome crouched by the five altars, bowing to each one in turn. The light protecting the village still remained, even though the storm had moved. She felt humbled by the gift, and proud of her friends for having earned it through their actions. 

At the sound of steps, she turned to see Miroku coming up the path, arms full of offerings. Her friend smiled at her, tipping his head in greeting. Kagome mirrored his hello. As she watched him come closer, something tickled at the edge of her curiosity. 

“Miroku, can I ask you something?”

“Hm? Of course.” Setting the basket down on the ground, he bowed to the altars the same way she had. “Although if it’s about baby things, Sango is probably a more useful person than I would be.”

“It’s not, actually.” Kagome brushed a bit of hair back behind her ear, trying to figure out the right words to say. After talking with Sota and her mom in the time across the well, she’d been thinking more and more about each of her friends and what they’d gone through. Miroku had always appeared to be the one that hid his feelings the best. But his snappy response to her joke earlier--bringing up Kikyo, of all people--had been eating at Kagome for a while. “Why does it bother you when we bring up how you used to act? You didn’t act so ashamed of it before.” 

The monk didn’t respond right away; instead, he took his time to feed a handful of bellflowers to each altar. Kagome watched with curious eyes. 

Finally, with his back still to her, he spoke. 

“I am not proud of the man I used to be, Kagome. While the reasonings for some of my behavior are understandable--the need for an heir to maintain my family’s feud with Naraku, or the effectiveness of pretty women in making a man forget about his mortality--I regret that such things made it difficult for people...for Sango to trust me.” 

With businesslike hands, he pulled out small pieces of rice cake and fed it to each roar of flame, going the opposite way down the line that he had before. 

“Every time that I felt that I was getting too close to her, I would ruin that trust. By touching her, or proposing to someone else, to put the distance back between us.” 

He tossed a smile over his shoulder. Kagome felt a cold shock to her heart at how much it looked like the one he’d worn constantly, years ago, when Naraku had still held all their futures in his hand. When he had spent so much time pretending--not for her, or Inuyasha, or any of their other friends, but mostly for himself. 

“It felt dangerous to allow her to see inside my heart, with my death all but assured. How could I share myself with this woman, just to leave her all alone? But the longer we fought together, the more difficult it was to hide my true feelings.”

_ He took some of those walls down anyway, to get a chance at breaking through Sango’s, too.  _ Kagome recalled the stolen moments between the two, where their love had been obvious to all witnesses. She herself had done quite a bit of work to convince them to give it a try. 

“And then, Naraku was defeated, and my hand was healed. And so we built a life together, me and this woman who I do not deserve.”

“Miroku,” Kagome sat up straight. “Don’t say that—”

“Sango has always remained strong, despite her pain.” The monk wrapped both arms around the empty basket, staring into one of the fires. “Our children are lucky to have her as their mother. And I feel lucky simply to be their father. But when they learn how I dealt with things before, then they will be ashamed of me.” His voice stuttered slightly; although he tried to cover it with a cough, Kagome heard it and frowned. 

“Miroku, where is all this coming from?” 

“Could be a few things, I suppose. All this talking about the past. Our dealings with the gods.” He crouched before one of the altars, bowing his head reverently. “Akari and Nagisa hurt others because of their fear and anger--they dealt with pain the only way they could think of.”

“Ah.” Kagome sighed in understanding. “You see yourself in their actions.” 

“It sounds silly now, but...” He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “I suppose I did not think I would ever be alive long enough to feel ashamed of my conduct. Not the best excuse, is it?”

“You also had a poor role model growing up.” Kagome crossed both arms and walked over to him. Monk Mushin had only encouraged Miroku’s behavior in the worst ways; though Kagome had thought it too rude to say, she’d always felt it was incredibly generous of her friends to name their first son after the old man with all the dysfunction he’d contributed to. “Even if he helped you repair the Wind Tunnel, he also taught you all the wrong stuff about talking to girls.” 

The corner of Miroku’s mouth turned up. “Still. We can’t blame everything on our parents, can we?” 

“That’s true. You did a lot of messed up stuff, just because you could.” Kagome nudged his shoulder. “But I know that you won’t teach your kids the same things you were taught. They’re learning every day how to treat other people by watching you with Sango. And with Naraku’s curse gone, they’ll never have to go through what you did.” 

“Thank goodness.” The words came out automatically, as did the smoothing of the lines on the monk’s forehead. “I can only hope that when I explain it to them someday--how I handled things, because of the fears that I had--that they will understand.” 

Kagome thought back to her conversation with Inuyasha. The scars of what his brother had done to him remained, even after they’d patched it up somehow. And she knew those weren’t the only scars he carried--but still, he was so determined to make things right for their future child. In a way, carrying that pain was driving him. It wasn’t exactly  _ good _ , but just something that was.

“Miroku,” she said, leaning against him. “All you can do is explain not just why you did it, but why it was wrong. And tell them how to do things better.” 

He nodded, pushing back so they were holding one another up. The two of them stared at the altars in silence for a long moment. 

“How long do you think their protection will last?” Miroku said, finally. 

“I don’t know. Hopefully a long time.”  _ Years would be nice. _ “Even if the light fades, if they remain in the altars maybe their magic will, too?” 

“I hope so.” One hand worried the edge of his bangs for a moment. “Thank you for asking about earlier. Saying it out loud feels...well, it doesn’t feel nice, exactly. But it is better than keeping it to myself.” 

“Of course. You’re my friend, Miroku. And I like the person that you’ve become.” She poked his cheek while sing-songing, “Sango’s house husband!” 

He chuckled, but at the mention of his wife, his eyes got that familiar lovesick glow to them that made the teenage matchmaker in Kagome’s heart cheer. “A worthy change from a lecherous monk.”

“Even that lecherous monk had some good qualities to start with,” Kagome pointed out. “Ones that haven’t gone away.”

She turned back to stare into the fire-glow. They’d all changed so much, and she was lucky to be able to witness so much happiness and growth for those she loved here, in this time. 

Things with the rest of her family across the well, however, felt more uncertain. Thinking about going back again made her head pound with a single question. 

How often could she visit without feeling like she had one foot in two different lives? 

That had been all right when she was a child, juggling both Naraku and school exams. But now Kagome was an adult woman, with responsibilities to her village. She had  _ chosen  _ this life, built future goals, and made serious decisions thinking she’d never see her original time again. Obviously things couldn’t just go back to the way they were before.

Was it even possible for her new life to fit together in two places? 

“If you ever need to talk about anything for yourself, Kagome,” Miroku said, jarring her from her musings, “then please do not hesitate to ask. We have been through too much to put up walls with one another.” 

“Of course,” she stammered, wondering what face she could have been making to signify her troubles. 

Miroku clapped a hand to his chest dramatically. “When you hide things from me--the existence of your future child, for instance--it is like you’re shooting a purified arrow straight into my heart.” 

“Oh, come on,” she laughed, shoving his shoulder. “It’s nothing personal, I just wasn’t ready yet. And with good reason--how many people have you told since finding out?” 

“Not one! Wait--” he put a hand to his mouth in feigned apology. “Do the twins count?” 

Kagome rolled her eyes long-sufferingly. “If you’re serious, then the whole village will know by lunchtime...” 

* * *

Wielding the jar was proving to be...difficult. 

As the deep scratches in the wall could attest. 

Sesshomaru crouched down, breathing heavily. The divine power of the object was obvious; even with his much-refined abilities and hours of practice, it was a strain to keep a hold on it. 

Now that they had been joined, the jar and lid functioned maybe too well--each time the lid was freed, the air flow in the room was immediately drawn to the vessel. Leaving the window on the far wall open prevented him from suffocating; only one close call had been necessary to learn that lesson. Not that it kept Bakusaiga and Tensaiga from shrieking at him over it. 

As quickly as possible, he ripped the lid of the jar off. Greedily, it drew air into its depths. He waited for a moment, then slammed it shut. The jar shook in his grasp--perhaps it was angry, that he’d only allowed it a small taste of wind this time. 

When the lid came off a second time, sharp bursts of air slashed out uncontrollably against the walls of the space. Chunks of stone and wood dusted the floor, and he could smell the sweat of his servants’ fear grow within the depths of the castle. In his arms, the jar twisted, and he struggled to keep it in his grip. 

If the goddesses found it easier to direct the weapon, it remained the only truly impressive thing about them. Reverb from the jar sent tingles down both arms, almost like electricity sparking through him. 

One hand kept a solid pressure against the lid as he slumped down to rest, again. He wondered what it had been like for Kagura to be  _ in  _ the jar, itself. Briefly, Sesshomaru had considered asking his single wind yokai servant to experiment with such a question. But the yokai was of an advanced age, perhaps  _ too  _ advanced. Risking what was left of their life simply to sate his own curiosity carried little merit. 

Though the daiyokai tried to push it away, noise still cluttered his mind--the wind witch’s screams, as she was released from Akari’s jar. The persistent memory sent an unwanted chill down his spine; even in her death, Kagura hadn’t been so agitated. . 

On her knees in a bed of flowers, blood and smoke smothering her scent, she’d smiled. At him, the creature who had made no promises to her. Tensaiga had refused to do her work, so Sesshomaru had been hopeless to do anything but witness as Kagura’s body fall apart. But there had been no screams, no thrashing or begging.

In a slow, agonizing death, she had found peace.

_ It didn’t suit her, to go so quietly.  _

Claws danced across the surface of the jar, tracing a phantom line where the crack in its sibling lay. 

Wind yokai servant aside, he had gathered some important information from Kagura’s experience. Upon release, she’d struggled to walk or speak. Her emotions had practically  _ erupted _ , so potent was her rage. Was it possible that, if kept in the jar for longer than a few days, all her functions other than the elemental ones would have suffered? Perhaps a wind yokai would even cease to retain a physical form, if trapped for a certain period of time. 

_ What use is thinking about such things? It won’t help me learn how to control this weapon.  _

But the questions continued like a flood. 

How had the goddess Akari justified taking control over a creature she had no right to command? Had Kagura fought it--or had the jar swallowed her up easily, like it did the conscience-less air in his rooms? What had she thought of, trapped in the dark: her time under Naraku’s thumb, their many arguments, or something else? 

If he hadn’t been so furious, so desperate to hide his humiliation at having emotions he was unable to fully control, could he have saved her sooner? 

Green glass and clay still shuddered faintly under his grip. So unassuming, and yet so effective as a prison. One he now attempted to wield.

_ It’s not like she’ll ever know. She’s given up.  _

_ Why waste another thought on such a woman?  _

The power of a god--even if he decided not to use it against Akari and her sister, destroying a yokai enemy with it would be child’s play. 

Destroying humans, even easier. 

And who but him deserved such power? Who else could be trusted to maintain justice in his lands, with the abandoned tool of the gods? He had spent centuries seeking Tesseiga, only to allow his brother to reign as its true master; Bakuseiga and Tenseiga could never be wielded by another, so dedicated they were to him now. No one else was capable of--no one else  _ deserved  _ to master this divine weapon. What kind of warrior would give up such an opportunity, out of an obligation he didn’t have--to respect a connection he had already lost? 

He imagined relating such words to her, cold in his irrefutable justification. What could she possibly say in return? He had no intention to use the object against  _ her,  _ and defeating the goddesses may be impossible without it. And he owed her nothing--he’d tried his hand at protecting her, and had been soundly rejected. 

Gold eyes gazed upon green glass and clay. It gleamed back, as if in self-pride. 

Kagura would be furious, and hurt. But she wouldn’t have a worthy retort. 

Expression hardening, he slammed his forearm down on the object. A sizeable fissure bloomed in the lid, spreading a few inches below the lip of the jar. A few more blows, and the entire thing crumbled into pieces. Air rushed about the room as they escaped, tossing his sleeves and swords about. Tenseiga’s voice rang loudly in his ears. 

If Jaken asked, he would simply inform him that the goddess’ weapon had been unable to handle his demonic energy. Whether or not his servant actually believed that was not important. It was his decision what to do with the deities, and Kagura, and his own misfortunate feelings. The opinions of others remained irrelevant. 

Because even with all his reasons, with every justification, there was no denying it. 

Despite the fact that she was not  _ his _ , if wielding this weapon meant he could never get Kagura’s screams out of his head, then it was not worth it. 


	34. Twenty Nine

“Ack! Lord Sesshomaru, what’s that?!” 

Glancing down from his position of flight, the daiyokai understood why Jaken was alarmed. A whirling mass of fog stretched across the land, writhing like some living creature. Even from where they were, the strange aura of the divine realm was obvious. 

Along with an overwhelming scent of fear. 

“I bet it is the goddesses Akari and Nagisa!” If he hadn’t needed both claws to cling to his Lord’s fur, Jaken would have no doubt been waving them about. “What should we do?”

As they flew above the mist, the scent of anguish grew even more potent, now tinged with notes of anger and determination. Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed; whatever the divine beings were doing, it was no doubt extremely painful. 

Good. He had little sympathy for creatures like that. 

“We have our own business. I’ll leave them be for now.” 

Jaken’s confused squawking lasted the rest of the way to Inuyasha’s village. 

* * *

“Back again so soon.” 

Inuyasha plunked himself down on the floor on the other side of the tea table. Sesshomaru quietly cursed his luck; just a moment ago, he’d grown tired of waiting and sent Jaken to deliver the pieces of the jar to Kagome and the other priestess. Now, not only had he failed at avoiding his brother, they were entirely alone in the inn’s main room. 

“Heard you made yourself at home while we were gone.” The hanyou’s ears bent back towards his head; the look on his face was reminiscent of a grouchy toddler pulled back inside during playtime. Sesshomaru decided his statement didn’t require a response.

Impatient as always, Inuyasha barrelled on. “Kohaku said he gave you the lid. What use could a piece’a junk like that be?” 

It seemed like ages ago, that together they had defeated Naraku. He’d found a few things to credit his brother with, then. Tenacity, determination. But never intelligence, and living among humans had only further softened his brother’s wits. Unless he was only playing dumb, and Sesshomaru was being tricked into admitting something…“The lid led us to the remaining, unbroken jar.” 

“You found another one?” Inuyasha shook his head. His expression was dark with horrific imaginings of what the divine object was capable of. “Figures...so, what are ya gonna do with it?” 

Sesshomaru took a long, luxurious moment to roll his eyes before responding. “It has been destroyed. No one will be able to use it against another creature.” 

The hanyou’s ears twitched. He was quiet, much longer than Sesshomaru expected; in fact, he’d assumed such a confession would be met with loud swearing or childish complaints. 

“You busted it,” Inuyasha said finally. “Even though you wanted to use it to kill ‘em.” 

That was what he’d just said. It was obvious which side of the family had kept its skill of basic comprehension. 

The hanyou chewed on the inside of his cheek. Then he turned his face to the wall in a mockery of casual behavior. “Is it cause Kagura threw a fit?” 

An unfamiliar heat flooded the marks on Sesshomaru’s face; he managed by sheer force of will to keep it from showing. His half-brother was the last person in the world to be accusatory, regarding the motivations of hot-tempered women. 

“Kagura and I have not spoken since before your return,” he said, pleased with how cool and calm it sounded. The steady tone did not seem to impress Inuyasha much, only made him look thoughtful.

“She’s back in the forest, ain’t she.” He tossed his head in the general direction where, beyond the village wall, the treeline lay. “Probably not a lotta food out there.” 

He didn’t know where this was going and did not care to ask. 

Inuyasha frowned deeply. “Eh, I bet she’ll come back out at some point. Lookin’ for somethin’ to do...” 

Tensaiga and Bakusaiga chorused loudly in excitement; Sesshomaru braced one hand against them, and immediately Inuyasha’s expression morphed back into its usual blend of anger and suspicion. 

“You don’t want to go lookin’ for a fight with me,” he snarled. 

“I have no interest in an unworthy opponent,” Sesshomaru drawled back, displeased at being accused. 

Inuyasha gave him a dangerously smug grin. “Not so unworthy that I can’t talk things out with my woman. Can you say the same?” 

Gold eyes burned in blistering irritation. “Do you enjoy pointless little arguments about nothing?”

“With Kagome? Sure. It’s kind of our thing, hadn’t you noticed by now?”

Well, he’d set himself up for that one. Except, of course, that they were not twelve years old. Sesshomaru snapped, “You’re wasting my time.” 

Inuyasha shrugged with far too much nonchalance. “You don’t seem to have any problem wastin’ mine. Jaken said you guys came here to see Rin. But you’ve gotta know they haven’t made much progress on the shrine yet, and it’s not like _ you _ have anything new to tell her. You spent three days here just last week.” The hanyou’s glare zeroed in.

So. His half-brother’s apparent ineptitude really was just an act, or poor impulse control, or a combination of the two. The four marks on Sesshomaru’s face stung again. 

“So what’s actually botherin’ you?” Inuyasha muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, “Not that I care.” 

It took Sesshomaru a good few minutes of internal debate to finally give in. “Things have been...strange.” 

Inuyasha shifted, eyes rolling back in his head. “No fucking shit--”

“_ Outside of that _.” It would be a miracle if they made it through a full conversation about this without killing each other. Where in the seven hells had Jaken gotten to? “In every situation, I have known my purpose and followed it. Even with the business of Tessaiga, we eventually achieved the roles set forth for us by our father. I do not know how to approach that path which has been laid by my previous actions, when such actions no longer represent my values.” 

Inuyasha looked stunned. Then he was standing, teeth bared and stomping one foot on the tea-table. “Damn it all! Did Kagome say somethin’ to ya?” 

Eyebrow cocked, the Western Lord shook his head. 

“Liar!” Grumbling, Inuyasha waved a fist at him. “Well, if you’re tryin’ to give some stupid fucking apology, it ain’t accepted!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Somehow, that seemed to just irate the hanyou further. He stamped on the tea-table, shouting, “You were a bastard when we were kids and you’re a bastard now! And nothin’ you do or say is gonna take back all the shit you did!” 

If that statement was true--for his relationship with Rin, whatever it was he had with Kagura, and (in the least impactful way possible that he was never going to admit to or think about for more than half a second) maybe his relationship with Inuyasha as well--then it was quite unfortunate. Because, despite all his power, Sesshomaru couldn’t turn back time and unmake his choices to seek the Meido Zangetsuha, reject Kagura’s plea for help, or try and murder his father’s other son. His shoulders sunk minutely, and it must have shocked his half-brother, because Inuyasha sat back down silently.

After a moment, the hanyou’s face turned pink. “Uh...You were talkin’ about Kagura, weren’t you.”

Sesshomaru kept his face impassive. “Not everything is about you.”

“Well, if you didn’t talk in fucking riddles all the time,” came the retort. “Why would whatever’s going on between ya mean anything to me, anyway?” 

Sesshomaru allowed the corner of his mouth to twitch. “You said yourself. You are capable of talking things out with your woman.” 

“Are you asking me for _ advice? _” Sputtering, the hanyou scooted back a few feet. “You’ve got some nerve! Besides, I can’t relate to you. Kagome’s the best and Kagura’s...weird.” 

Sesshomaru frowned. 

Fists clenching, Inuyasha growled, “She _ is! _ And you’re even worse. She’s probably going crazy trying to figure out whether you’re thinking your regular old murdery thoughts or that brand-new, bizarre personality you’ve been trying out.” His voice pitched into a cold, whiny mockery of his sibling’s. “ _ I’m gonna kill all these gods for ya, Kagura. Oh, now I’m going to help save their little rock houses for you, Rin. But wait, gotta still threaten to choke ya to death, Kagura!” _

The insults Bakusaiga responded with were quite...creative. It was too bad the hanyou couldn’t hear them. 

“Anyway,” Inuyasha’s voice slipped back into its normal roughness. “At least when I was bein’ wishy-washy, it was because I had a responsibility to Kikyo. You’re just makin’ things hard for no reason. Kagura might be a tricky little witch, but in my opinion, she’s not wrong for not trusting you.” 

Sesshomaru tried to calm the rising anger at his brother’s words. Threatening to kill the hanyou for being a rude little prick would only cause trouble--though he didn’t fear Inuyasha, he had just rebuilt his trust with Rin and had no desire to destroy it again. Not to mention that Kagome would surely not take it well if he seriously threatened her husband. 

Thinking on Kagome...despite everything, she truly did love his brother. A human from a safer time, with a family and a separate destiny, had chosen to give all that up for a half-breed with none of those things. And in the time she’d been gone, he had waited for her, with no assurance that their reconciliation would ever happen. 

Sesshomaru had always found such things distasteful, mainly as they’d reminded him of his father’s weakness and betrayal. But sitting across from his brother now, he didn’t see the ghost of his father at all. Simply a creature who had been able to make something work that should have been impossible. 

And if Inuyasha could do that, there was no doubt that he, Sesshomaru, superior in every way, could.

* * *

Kagome set the pieces of the jar on the altar carefully. She shook her head as a chip of green bounced off the structure to the floor. If Sesshomaru hadn’t wanted it, then he could have just given the object to them. There wasn’t really a point to breaking it, was there? 

As if on cue, Jaken gave a forlorn sigh beside her. 

“Lord Sesshomaru practiced with it for hours, only for it to fall apart.” The retainer scrubbed at one eye with his sleeve. “How tragic! Those foolish goddesses would have been done for!” 

Kagome wondered if it was possible for Akari and Nagisa themselves to be trapped in their own jars; if so, had Sesshomaru left them to such a fate, it certainly would have been nasty for them. 

“I guess he was rougher with it than he should have been,” she said, trying not to sound too cross. Suddenly, nausea swam in her throat, and the priestess gestured to him wildly. 

Hoisting a bucket into her arms, Jaken continued over her retching with little sympathy. “It must have been so disappointing for a man of such determination and honor. And now we’re back here in this dingy little human village, after such a short reprieve!” 

Wiping the corners of her mouth with her sleeve, Kagome gave him a dark look. Fearfully, Jaken scuttled around the shrine until he found a bowl of water, which he presented to her. 

“Thank you.” She tried to regain some dignity by sipping the water slowly. After setting the bucket outside the shrine entrance, Kagome settled cross-legged before the altar. “I’m sure he was curious to hear about Rin and Kohaku’s work on the shrine. The pictures they sketched up look pretty nice.” 

“I doubt something so simple would appease those two wretches.” Jaken shook his head. “We saw an enormous cloud of fog on our way here--I’m sure it was them, planning another attack on our poor Rin!” 

“I suppose that’s why the wind’s been changing course.” Kagome had noticed it while delivering poultices the previous night--the air seemed to be drawing away from the village, back towards where the storm had disappeared. “Do we know that it’s Akari and Nagisa, or could it be someone else?”

Jaken checked over both shoulders before hissing, “Like that damn wind witch?”

Kagome hid her smile. “What do you have against Kagura, Jaken?” 

“_ What don’t I _!” came the explosive response. “Rude and nosy, completely unrefined--it’s ridiculous that Lord Sesshomaru has put up with her as long as he has.”

“Perhaps that’s why he came to the village.” Taking another long drag of water, Kagome raised her eyebrows meaningfully. “He’s hoping they’ll run into each other again. Though I don’t get why he can’t just go see her if he wants to.” 

“Lord Sesshomaru is not--” Jaken’s words died in his throat as he considered that, perhaps, his Lord _ was _ ridiculous enough to do such a thing. Claws digging into each side of his face, he groaned, “Oh, _ why _must we waste so much time on unimportant things? There is so much to be done! Crop season is almost upon us, and that stupid boar yokai will have the northwestern villages under siege again--”

Kagome waved one hand dismissively. “I’m sure he’ll figure it out. And, going back to our earlier topic, I doubt that Kagura’s the one messing around with the wind. No one here has heard from her in the past few days.” Kagome frowned, twisting the edge of her sleeve. Perhaps, after all that had happened, Kagura was determined to avoid them. Who knew when--or if--they’d ever see her again? 

For Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku, it was normal not to hear from friends for a season or two, or even longer. But going back to her time had reminded her of how easy it was to just pick up the phone and call up a person if you wanted to know what was going on with them. Especially if their health was a concern, physically or mentally...

Jaken eyed her warily. “Are you going to be sick again, priestess?” 

“No, just thinking.” She almost decided against asking his opinion, but at the last minute caved. “Do you think we’ll ever see Kagura again?”

“Hm?” The toad seemed surprised. “Is she not the type to always be creeping around?” 

“I don’t know. We all thought she went back to the forest, but if the goddesses are still around, then maybe she left the Western lands entirely.” 

Yellow eyes darted around the shrine, refusing to meet her gaze. “Good riddance, in my opinion.” 

Kagome pursed her lips knowingly. “Oh, I don’t know. Even if it’s only for practicality’s sake, you might still worry about her. Friendships can be complicated, after all.” 

“_ How dare you even suggest--” _

“Jaken.” 

Both creatures jumped slightly, turning to the entrance of the holy place. Sesshomaru’s cold gaze met theirs unflinchingly. The top of his head brushed the top of the doorway. 

“My Lord?”

One claw jabbed over the daiyokai’s shoulder. “Go. I require seven stones the same color as a centipede yokai’s blood.” 

“Eh? But, Lord Sess-”

Lips stretched to show teeth. “_ Now.” _

Bowing, Jaken scrambled from the floor. It took him a few tries to get past his master, as his towering form entirely filled the entrance. Once he was gone, Sesshomaru’s expression disappeared in a cloud of smoke. When it cleared, it had been replaced by Shippo’s cheeky grin. 

“See how good I was just now, Kagome? He totally bought it!” 

The priestess giggled behind her hand. She knew she should scold him, especially now that he was old enough to know better, but she couldn’t deny it had been a rather accurate likeness. “What color_ is _a centipede yokai’s blood?” 

Shippo shrugged, coming to sit at her side. “Beats me. He’ll figure it out.” 

Wrapping an arm around him, Kagome tapped his nose sharply. “You’ll have to apologize to him, you know.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Goodness, did he even know how much he sounded like Inuyasha?

After a moment, he tugged on her sleeve. “Kagome, I have an idea. But I wanted to make sure you’d like it first…”

“Tell me.” 

The kitsune’s tail waved about with a mixture of nerves and hope. “Everybody’s been all weird because of the gods and other stuff--especially Inuyasha. So I was thinking that if we threw a party for the baby, it might give everyone something nice to think about instead.” 

“Aw, Shippo!” Ah, it seemed the increase of hormones really did make a person more sensitive; her eyes felt teary. “That’s so sweet!” 

Shippo beamed. “I did one for Sango and Miroku when they had the twins, and everybody seemed to have fun.” 

“I’m sure they did.” Kagome patted his head, wiping her eyes with one sleeve. “I think that would be lovely.”

_ If only we could be sure _ ** _everyone_ ** _ would come... _

* * *

  
  


Higher, higher, _ higher. _

When the trees started to lose shape, and the air was more dark cloud than pale sky, Kagura shifted back into her human form. Her body was suspended in the air for a moment, as though she was a star. 

Then, she fell. 

Wind roared in her ears as she descended, hair and sleeves and breath all rushing upwards. The expanse of gray moved further and further away, as gravity dragged Kagura down. She counted to ten, waiting until her lungs started to burn. 

Just before she could crash through the canopy of leaves and branches, she transformed back into the wind. 

The _ snap _of shifting was eased by keeping her downward direction for another few moments, ripping a path through wood and vine. Then Kagura changed course, marking a quick and forceful route back to where her hut lay. She didn’t stop to rest, only taking a familiar shape once again when she was leaning against the wall of the house. 

The game was a risky one--too late, and she’d break quite a few important bones. Which meant it was exactly what she’d needed after almost a full day of digging through the mud-pit that was her garden. She’d spent hours in the stream trying to get clean, which had been extra difficult thanks to all the random junk the storm had blown into the water. 

Leaning against the wall, she grit her teeth. There it was again--that strange _ pull _ at her ankles. Something was calling the winds to them, and the urge to follow was strong--not deeper into the forest, however, but in the opposite direction where hills and fields stretched. 

_ Strange for the goddesses to head thataways... _

Little breezes tugged on her sleeves, and Kagura brushed them away crossly as she pressed harder into the wall. Even though it was easier to breathe now, she was at a loss of what to do. Everything was so fucking _ boring _out here. Mostly because of her self-imposed rule to stay put. 

In her short life, she’d either stayed put in her master’s castle or traveled at his behest. Roaming too far usually resulted in a punishment--a few days or weeks of forced seclusion. Kagura hadn't known anything else, so her mind had run wild with the possibility of what else there could be. The few hints of freedom she'd tasted had only been that much more addicting, having never experienced it in any true form. She had, after all, been created only to serve. 

And then, after death…

With no master, no bonds, she had simply refused to settle. The years had been full of exploration--visiting faraway lands, spying on all kinds of creatures (and getting into exciting arguments with a few). How exhilarating, to go wherever she wanted, without the fear of a yank on the puppet string just as she was starting to enjoy herself. The ocean, especially, had been awe-inspiring. As a gust of air, Kagura could dive in between the crashing waves and burrow down to stir sands older than any living creature. Nostalgia ached in her chest at the memory. 

_ That was the last time I felt truly happy. _

_ Is that it? Should I just...leave? _

It was so simple; how strange that she hadn’t thought of it before. The easiest way to avoid Sesshomaru, Rin, Kohaku--it had been right in front of her face the whole time. And now that she’d mostly recovered her ability to shift into her wind-form for long distances, there was nothing truly standing in her way. 

Kagura’s eyes drifted to her pathetic garden. She’d put so much effort into it, and the hut, too--only to now be considering leaving them behind.

_ But maybe that’s just the way of things. Give up to start something new. _

Suddenly, a familiar scent hit her nose--at the same moment as a branch broke underfoot several yards away. Whipping around, she put both hands on her hips and frowned. 

“What do you want?”


	35. Thirty

Kagura glared at Kohaku from her position. The boy stood in the shadows of the trees, face lined with exhaustion. In answer to her question, he held out one hand. At the sight of her fan, Kagura’s heart picked up. 

“You left it behind again.” 

It didn’t sound accusatory, but guilt still twisted in her chest. With a flick of her wrist, she beckoned him over. “You can come in, I guess.” 

The hut didn’t seem to either impress or offend him; again, he held the fan out to her, and Kagura slipped it into her sleeve. The demon bone rested coolly against her skin in a way that seemed almost peaceful.

“I don’t really have any tea or anything,” she admitted, crossing both arms. “There’s some plants, if you’re hungry.” 

The words weren’t meant to be as sororal as she supposed they sounded, it was just that he looked like he wasn’t quite taking care of himself. Was building a shrine really that much work? If she was in charge of such things, Kagura would have simply tossed a few rocks together and called it a day.

He shook his head. “You should save it for yourself.” 

“They’ll just go to waste, anyway, since I’m leaving soon.” Picking through what she’d scavenged, Kagura passed him the shiso leaves she’d picked just that morning. Red lips pursed as she watched him eat--he was lucky she wasn’t his enemy. A taijiya had no business accepting offers from demons so easily. 

“Are you really going to leave?”

Living in relative peace had softened him so much; the sad disappointment in his voice was so obvious, Kagura could have choked on it.

“It’s too boring around here.” 

“Boring? Really?” One eyebrow shot skyward. 

Kagura crossed both arms and glared at him. Was he this sarcastic with literally anyone else? “You know what I mean.” 

“I guess. I just…” Just as quickly as his lips started moving, they froze. Interest tickled the back of Kagura’s throat, watching him struggle with what he wanted to say. Quite suddenly, she realized this was her first real conversation with another person in days. 

“I just think,” he said finally, “that maybe it’s not so much boring as it is lonely.” 

She should have known that’s where he was going with this…

* * *

“How’s it, uh, goin’?” 

Rin looked up, letting the midwifery robes fall back into the mound of bubbles in Kaede’s old washing tub. Inuyasha stood in the doorway, shifting from foot to foot. She gave him the most pleasant smile she could muster, while trying desperately to figure out how to answer his question. 

In terms of how she, personally, was--well, Rin felt fine. Slightly better, now that they’d decided on the shape and stones for the altar. Although she was worried about Kohaku. He acted more melancholy lately, most likely because the project reminded him of his village (including his mother who, according to Sango, had died a few weeks after he was born). Though she knew that under his eye, the altar would be built with care, she didn’t envy the mental burdens that came with it. 

If Inuyasha was asking about the altar  _ itself,  _ then there was another problem that Rin didn’t quite know how to describe. Though they had settled on placing it between the forest and the village, like a hokora (Shippo had acted strangely smug when he’d told them about that)...it just didn’t sit right with her. Rin actually hoped that Akari would visit her or the taijiya in a dream again, if only to confirm they’d chosen well. 

Not that Inuyasha would be glad to hear something like that.

“It’s good.” 

Instead of nodding and then strutting away, as she expected, Inuyasha came over to sit cross-legged beside her. Though he eyed where one kimono sleeve had fallen down her forearm into the water, he didn’t move to roll it back up the way he might have if she was Kagome. 

For the first time in her life, Rin wondered if she’d ever find someone that looked at her the way the hanyou did the priestess. The thought was strange,  _ confusing,  _ so she quickly pushed both hands deep underwater to drown it. 

“Look,” Inuyasha muttered, nose twitching at the strong scent of soap. “You’re gettin’ older, so I’m gonna be straight with ya. You know Sesshomaru an’ I ain’t on the best of terms.”

Rin nodded, scrubbing handfuls of fabric harder against the wooden wall of the tub. Though Lord Sesshomaru was really a nice sort of person, he did hide it rather well. She supposed that, as an older brother, he’d treated Inuyasha much the same way that Emi and Keiko treated Mushin sometimes--teasing, getting jealous over their dad’s attention, and stuff like that. 

“But, as much as I  _ loathe _ givin’ him any kind of credit…” Inuyasha squirmed. “He did trust us to take care of ya. And when he said that we fucked up with it, he was right.” 

Rin couldn’t recall when Sesshomaru had said such a thing, meaning that she probably hadn’t been there. But all the same, she tried to look solemn.

“You’ve been havin’ a hard time for a while. No one knew what to do about it, since you’re always so cheerful and stuff.” Chin setting, the hanyou sighed, “But bein’ the protector of the village means I have to take the responsibility.” 

“It wasn’t your fault.” Standing up, she twisted the fabric between both hands to squeeze the water out. It splashed a bit over the tub onto the floor, and she stretched out one leg to dry it with her sock. 

Inuyasha shook his head slowly. He waited until Rin had shaken the robe out and hung it over the windowsill to dry before he spoke again.

“All that shit with the goddess--I should have made sure it never happened. You’re  _ important _ to us, Rin. So if you’re feelin’ bad again, I don’t care who you tell. Kagome, Kaede, Kohaku--even Shippo. Hell, even  _ me _ .” He grimaced visibly before adding, “Or Sesshomaru, I guess. Not that I’d recommend it. I don’t get what you’d find comforting about--well, anyway, the point is that you can talk to any of us.” 

She knew. Many of the village group, and Lord Sesshomaru himself, had all said so in one way or another. Truth be told, while she didn’t mind that they all wanted her to feel supported, Rin wondered when everyone would treat her normally again. 

Ah, but that was probably selfish to think about. What girl in her right mind wouldn’t appreciate having so many people to look after her? Especially because she was Rin _ . Rin _ , who had spent so much of her early life forgotten, ignored, or bullied. Who had lost her family, and now had more members of her current one than she could count. 

“I know you  _ know _ ,” Inuyasha said, picking up on the cause of her troubled expression with surprising accuracy. “You’re prob’ly sick of hearing it by now. But seriously--” 

Rin waited curiously for him to figure out the next words. His knee knocked against the washing tub as he finally swung around to face her. 

“Seriously. When people don’t tell ya that kind of stuff when you’re a kid, it gets real weird hearing it as an adult. You end up mad over the same old stuff, even years later. I’m talkin’  _ decades _ .”

Rin made a decisive guess that he was talking about Lady Kikyo; Shippo had given her quite the descriptive backstory of that particular drama. “Does it take that long to get better, too?” 

“Sometimes.” Inuyasha’s eyes got a far-away look in them. “But...sometimes ya meet people. And you think they’re dumb or crazy, but they don’t leave. They even _ like _ you, with all the stupid stuff included. And that makes things feel more okay.” 

Rin was about to give him another easy smile when he turned sharp, gold eyes on her. If she’d been speaking, Rin might have stuttered. 

“But even though things feel okay,” he said slowly,  _ pointedly _ , “maybe that dark place is still there, deep inside. Might get smaller, or shift around so ya don’t end up in it so often. But it doesn’t totally go away, and maybe it’s not supposed to.” 

Ripping her gaze away, Rin dunked both hands back into the washtub. Inuyasha’s ear twitched at the sloshing of water against wood. 

“Ain’t no problem with wanting someone to see ya, Rin.” He said, in a quiet voice that almost reminded her of Sango when the taijiya was talking about something very serious. “But you don’t hafta go looking for a fallen goddess to find that. We’ve all got dark places, too.” 

Pretending to be focused with scrubbing under her nails, Rin gave a short nod. That seemed to be enough for the hanyou, because he finally turned away to stare at something else in the room.

“...Inuyasha? Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure.” His posture shifted into a more relaxed position. Perhaps talking about things so bluntly wasn’t so easy for him, either. 

“We decided where to put the shrine a few days ago.” Rin hesitated. “But I’m not sure if we should, anymore.” 

“Eh? Why not?” 

“It doesn’t feel right.” Teeth digging into her bottom lip, she pulled both arms out of the washing tub. Shaking off the excess water, she admitted, “I can’t really explain it, because it doesn’t feel  _ bad _ . Just not like it’s the absolute best place.” 

“Oh.” One red-clad shoulder bounced in a casual shrug. “Well, it’s just a shrine. Take a couple’a days and see if you come up with a better place to put it.”

“Like where?” 

“I dunno.” Fangs flashed at her--sharp, but not quite as much as Lord Sesshomaru’s. Also, Inuyasha wore them in a grin, which her Lord never did. Rin decided it looked nice on him. “Maybe to cover up the hole in my roof, huh?” 

* * *

Crossing her arms, Kagura sized up the taijiya boy in front of her. From the firm set of his mouth, she had a sinking feeling that, unlike the last few times they’d talked, Kohaku wasn’t going to just get up and leave if she refused to respond.

“I’m not lonely,” she finally snapped, voice pitching on the last word to really highlight its pathetic nature. “You’re the one who came to see me.” 

“Because I thought you’d want your fan back,” he replied, with much less bite in his voice than she carried in hers. “And I was worried about you.”

“No reason for that.” Kagura flicked her bangs out of her eyes haughtily. “I’m doing so well, in fact, that I no longer have any reason to hang around. You and all your friends can go dump that pity party on Rin.  _ I _ don’t need it.” 

Kohaku’s eyebrows knit together as soon as she mentioned Sesshomaru’s ward. His next words came out infuriatingly gentle. “Are you...jealous of Rin?” 

Kagura laughed at his audacity. In a smooth motion, her fan slid out of her sleeve and into the palm of her hand. “Why would I be jealous of a silly human girl who gets herself into trouble?” 

Kohaku shrugged, inspecting the walls of the hut. It was a common tactic, pretending that his interest was on something other than the conversation. He knew he’d offended her, and now he was trying to de-escalate the situation before she could physically throw him back out into the woods. "When Rin is hurting, people notice. Even if she’s trying to hide it. Maybe you want someone to notice you, too.” 

Kagura frowned darkly; he couldn’t have just handed her the fan and left, without engaging in such an inane conversation? “Shut up.” 

One nail picked at a splinter in the wood. Dangerous as it was, the boy continued. “Maybe you want people to care, but you also won’t let yourself accept it. And so when you end up hurt, you blame everybody else.” 

Her heart fell to the pit of her stomach, before jumping back up to thud loud and fast in her chest. This human boy, once so meek and easily controlled, afraid of his own shadow--how could he just say things like that so easily? 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Kagura shook her head harshly. Stalking to the other side of the hut, she turned her back to him--there was no other way to hide. “I don’t  _ need  _ anyone to care! It’s not like it ever helped me before!”

“Wanting to be loved doesn’t mean you’re betraying yourself--” 

Anger surged in her throat like poison. A whip of air sliced through the space between them; his arm came up to shield his face, the armor coating his forearm dissipating the attack. 

“What could you know about it?” Blue silk and demon bone twisted in her shaking fist. “You with your stupid, happy, hopeful memories--do you think I ever had any of that? Gods, do you even  _ remember _ what it was like to be under his thumb?” 

Arm dropping, Kohaku’s eyes bore into her. “Of course I do.” 

“Oh, really?” She scoffed, despising the sympathy in his gaze and how small it made her feel. “Because you never talk about it. Just go around giving sappy speeches, trying to tell everyone else how to feel--” 

“I don’t know how to talk about what happened with Naraku.” He said it bluntly, as though the words weren’t heavy. “I can’t turn away from it. Everything that he did, and everything he made me do.”

His hand went to caress the back of his neck, where Kagura knew a jagged scar remained. Her fury melted, replaced with a wave of utter exhaustion settling deep within the marrow of her bones. Fucking hell...she wanted to sit down, to press her face to the earth and block out everything that made her life difficult. 

But Kohaku was still speaking. 

“When he first took control of me, I’d never killed anything before. I was actually scared that I wouldn’t be able to. That I would fail as a slayer, and dishonor my family. I don’t know how to talk about what he did with that fear, how he used it to…” 

_ Father...What have I done?! _

_ I can't erase that woman's face from my mind... _

_ It's like I'm scared. There's something I don't want to remember. _

_ Sister! _

Kohaku planted both feet on the ground and breathed in for a few moments, counting backwards from a hundred and searching for happier memories. 

Kagura watched, heart twisting. Upsetting him didn’t please her; if she was a different kind of woman, she would have gone to comfort him. But she didn’t know what to say or do, watching a human boy struggle to get control of himself.  _ This is why it’s better for me to leave... _

After a few minutes he seemed a bit calmer, and sat up. To Kagura’s surprise, he continued with their conversation, instead of making a quick excuse to leave. “I feel it beside me all the time, every morning when I wake up.” 

Words slipped from her lips thoughtlessly. “So you’re saying you’ll never be free.” 

Brown eyes softened, and his smile stung with how much Kagura felt she didn’t deserve it. “I already am. Naraku’s  _ gone _ , Kagura--what he did remains, but so does the rest of my life.” 

_ Little Brother. _

_ Uncle. _

_ Brother in Law.  _

_ Taijiya. _

_ Friend. _

_ Family. _

“And as my happiness grows stronger, what happened grows smaller. Even if it doesn't ever fully fade, in the end...everything that heals me will take up so much room that what’s left of Naraku won’t be able to move at all. Maybe that  _ is  _ freedom, Kagura. Or all that it can be, for us.” 

Glancing towards the window, Kohaku broke into a smile that could have belonged to a much younger child. Standing, he bent in a reverent bow to where the wind witch stood stunned in the corner.

“I have to go home now. Sango is waiting for me.” Turning towards the door to hide his smile, he added, “Don’t you have someone waiting for you, too?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A. This chapter was really hard to write so please forgive me for how long it took. 
> 
> B. I appreciate kudos and comments so much. <3


	36. Thirty One

His quest was nearly complete. 

He had been tasked to find seven stones the color of centipede yokai’s blood--which, as it turned out, was the same color as most creatures’ blood, except that it had a dark blue tint to it. And now, Jaken’s arms were full of such prizes. Numbers four, five, and six had been liberated from the weird rock pile that Kohaku and Rin had put together--to waste so much time playing around, when there were shrines to build! Humans really were unintelligent creatures...

Stumbling a little, he continued his trek through the path beaten into the meadow. The taijiya siblings, kitsune, and hanyou sparred semi-frequently out here, so he didn’t feel particularly unsafe. He could see that the foul weather had kicked up plenty of loose rocks amongst the grass. It wasn’t an accident either that this path was on the side of the village  _ opposite _ of that leading to the forest. He had no intentions of going there unless Lord Sesshomaru demanded it. 

With a straight spine and nerves of steel, Jaken trekked on. Squinty eyes combing the ground, he was so occupied with his task that the other being’s sudden appearance escaped him. He ran straight into a cold form and fell back, stones flying from his arms. 

“How  _ dare  _ you,” came a spitting accusation. For a moment, Jaken was sure it was Kagura standing before him, with all of her burdensome, explosive emotions. Green skin paled considerably as he realized that it was another dark-haired woman with whom he was regrettably familiar.

(It seemed, Jaken mused, that he knew many that fit into such a category). 

The storm goddess practically  _ snarled  _ at him. Her robe dragged heavily down to the grass as she took a menacing step forward. Jaken inhaled deeply, ready to screech his employer’s name so as to be rescued, but then the features of the woman’s face shuddered violently. The sight of such a strange phenomenon turned any breath in his lungs to dust. 

“Nagisa!” 

Oh, seven  _ hells,  _ and there came the other one. Something was weird about her, too; Jaken could swear that he could make out the shape of the sky and hills through her form. 

“What are you doing? We’re almost done.” Akari’s arm rested on her sister’s shoulder. Something cold and wet touched Jaken’s foot, and he shrieked and scrambled back. She paid him no mind, attention only on her divine sibling. 

“I knew that something was wrong.” Her voice a raspy shudder, Nagisa glared down at the imp. Ducking his head to avert her gaze, he realized with horror that the grass beneath both goddesses was flooding with dark water. The puddle licked at his ankles with disturbing glee. “This loathsome creature took our shrine apart!” 

“Oh?” Akari looked down her nose at Jaken, who hyperventilated dramatically. “How impolite of you.”

“And I thought that demon was a headache…” Suddenly, the annoyance in Nagisa’s eyes turned into glittering amusement. Sliding forward, she whipped an object out of the fold in her robe. Jaken cringed away, arm covering his eyes automatically. When nothing struck him, the retainer peeked over his elbow. 

The scarlet cup gleamed proudly at him from the goddess’ pale fingers. Somehow, it seemed brighter and more elegant in her grasp. Waving it back and forth, she cackled, “Would you like to take this back to his master? A parting gift from his  _ victim _ ?” 

“I’m not sure we should do that,” Akari interrupted, fear and frustration threaded through her tone. 

“It’s not like we’ll be able to use it anymore. And perhaps the monster’s own curiosity will get the best of him...” 

“He’s not  _ that  _ stupid. Think about your jar--what if he breaks the cup too?” 

Was it the shifting of the sun, or something else, that made Nagisa’s face shift and re-shape itself? Jaken didn’t trust himself enough to know, although he was certain that unsettling was the best word for it. However, now that they had mentioned Lord Sesshomaru, he had no option but to engage. 

“The priestess will take better care of it,” Akari was saying. Nagisa frowned, but whatever her response would have been would never be known. Instead, both goddesses were momentarily stunned by Jaken standing, only slipping around a little as he attempted to bow. 

“Punish me as you see fit,” he stammered. “Boil me down into kappa soup to drink from that silly little cup, if you desire. But you must leave Lord Sesshomaru and Rin alone!”

“Who?” Nagisa said, at the same moment as Akari gave a little disbelieving laugh.

Jaken’s head snapped up, cheeks puffing with indignance that ruined his momentary piousness. “ _ Who  _ is Lord Sesshomaru? Only the greatest dai--”

“She means Rin,” Akari interrupted, hiding her smile behind one sleeve. 

“Oh. Well, Rin’s just a human girl.” Eyes narrowing, Jaken muttered, “But the two of you have been causing her  _ all _ kinds of unnecessary trouble. Simple-minded as she is, she is just a child and deserves some peace!” 

Nagisa eyed him loftily. After a long, tense moment, she uttered, “Any recent problems are hers and hers alone.” 

The other goddess flinched at that, the transparency in her form intensifying for a brief moment. Then her lips pursed. A small part of Jaken’s heart swelled with hope--though Akari had been the one directly in contact with Rin (and thus had done more to deserve his distrust), she also apparently had the majority of sense between the two women. 

“Nagisa,” she said thoughtfully, “let’s not be like Mother and Father.” 

Jaken’s relieved exhale of air was quickly replaced with a squeak as she turned her gaze on him. Something about her eyes was strangely regal, though he was not silly enough to consider her worthy of servitude. 

“We will give you this, but you _must not_ let any harm come to it.” Taking the cup from her sister’s hand, she set it on the wet grass between them. Dark water carried the vessel to Jaken’s side; he accepted it gingerly. From the look on his face, it was clear he carried no gratitude for the gift. 

“The only reason we give you this is for Rin,” she said, voice trembling a bit on the girl’s name. Surprise stuck in Jaken’s throat. “If the monster--” Nagisa made a sharp noise to keep the imp from interrupting-- “ever tries to use it himself, then he will suffer. But you may keep it safe for her, and the priestess, as well.” 

“What can it do?” Jaken peered into the instrument with one eye. For the Underworld’s sake, it was just a cup! 

“Among many things, none of which are of any use to you--one can transcend realms, and be healed from toxic substances. As the monster carries venom in his blood, he would only cause himself immeasurable pain.” 

“So make sure he drinks from it soon,” Nagisa added darkly. Jaken’s affronted expression didn’t seem to resonate with her.

Akari clicked her tongue loudly to regain the imp’s attention. “If both Rin and the priestess are to remain close to your master, then there is the risk that someday he will poison them. There would be no way for us, or our brothers to intervene quickly enough. This may be the only protection we can offer.” 

Rage burned deep in Jaken’s belly, setting his lungs and heart aflame. How  _ dare  _ they act as though Sesshomaru would ever do such a thing to Rin! Even before his temperament had...softened (which Jaken only meant in the most complimentary way), the Western Lord had never been a threat to her safety. Was the goddess unaware of just how much Sesshomaru had done, to preserve Rin’s life, or was she just stupid?! 

As for Kagome--well, harming her would be pointless. Despite her humanity, she was still a deeply respected priestess, defender of the Western Lands, and member of his Lord’s extended family. Just because Sesshomaru did not carry a particular attachment to her didn’t mean he would just snap one day to  _ attack _ her. 

Before Jaken could unleash his torrent of righteous fury upon them, Akari spoke again. 

“We offer the cup in a show of grace. Your Lord destroyed Nagisa’s jar, instead of using it against us. While...significant, this is not enough for us to forgive him. Nothing ever will be.” 

The other deity nodded firmly in agreement.

“And we have no wish for Rin to be harmed.” Akari tipped her head to one side. “Since I met her, she was sad and afraid, like me. If you truly seek to help her, then you will accept it.” 

“After what you did to our shrine, you should be glad to carry it,” Nagisa added; her features twisted too much for Jaken to tell if she was trying to appear angry or sad. 

“Fine. But now you really must go away--preferably forever!” Stuffing the cup in his robes, he turned his back on the women. As if he was going to actually give this cup to Rin; Jaken was smarter than that! Obviously there was some nefarious plot up the goddess’ sleeves regarding it. But if what they said about it being dangerous to Lord Sesshomaru was true...well, Jaken would just have to keep the trinket himself. After all, as his Lord’s most trusted servant, he was the best person to be responsible for it. 

As he moved about retrieving his rocks, Nagisa turned to whisper in Akari’s ear. “I don’t like it, Sister.” 

“You said yourself that soon we won’t be able to use it anymore.” Black water swirled around as she crossed her ankles. “And perhaps this creature will surprise us.” 

“I think if you really want to help the human girl,” Nagisa replied, “we should do it the old-fashioned way.” 

Jaken gave a little screech as one of the stones fell from his grasp and landed solidly on his foot. Akari pressed one hand to her forehead. 

“Perhaps you have a point…”

* * *

Sesshomaru frowned at the mess lying in the grass before him.  No wonder Rin was upset. Before Kohaku had waltzed off somewhere to complete another task, the two humans had made quite a bit of progress on the shrine. 

Not that anyone would be able to tell now--their work was hardly more than a pile of scattered stones. 

“Do you think it’s a sign, Lord Sesshomaru?” Rin clung to his sleeve, lips turned down nervously. “Maybe the goddesses broke it because they didn’t like it? Could they be mad about something...” 

Fortunately, he didn’t believe it was that serious. Jaken’s scent was all over what was left of the structure. What his motive had been, and why he wasn’t at Sesshomaru’s side  _ like he was supposed to be _ , remained a mystery. Perhaps he had already realized his mistake, and was purposely giving the daiyokai a wide berth so as to avoid dire punishment. 

Rin’s dejected expression perked up at the sound of footsteps. “Kohaku!” 

The taijiya boy’s head bobbed politely as he neared. "Rin. Lord Sesshomaru. Please accept my apologies; before I realized it, the whole morning was gone." 

Something was troubling him; both shoulders were strangely tense, and his gait was slower than usual. Still, there was no scent of injury on him...

As soon as his eyes met those of the Western Lord, Kohaku’s expression firmed. Forgoing any kind of verbal greeting, he simply said, “She’s leaving soon.”

Rin’s forehead creased in confusion. Sesshomaru, however, understood perfectly. 

A chill of--disappointment? He supposed that was as good a word as any--bled through him. It showed in the stiffening of his spine and setting of his jaw.  By some instinct, his ward knew both to shift the conversation and to step away from her protector, giving him the freedom to turn so he could hide his reaction from the taijiya. 

“Kohaku, I think we should talk more about where to put the shrine.” She gestured to the pile of rocks, as though the two men hadn’t just shared a strange moment. It was hardly the weirdest thing that had happened lately, anyway. “I’m just not sure if where we decided is the right spot…” 

“That’s fine. We have to rebuild the foundation of it, anyway. Can we talk about it after lunch, though?” At her nod of agreement, Kohaku breathed out in relief. Rin’s worry for him swelled to a painful twist in her throat. 

Because between Kohaku’s subdued expression, and the way her Lord was standing so straight that he almost seemed ready to snap in half...why was everyone wasting their time making sure  _ she _ was okay?

* * *

“Uncle!” Mushin waved both hands towards the door. Kilala perked up from beside him. Kohaku bent to pat his head, then scratched behind the demon cat’s ears. Sango turned from the stove where she was packing a line of bowls with rice to grace him with her smile. 

“Welcome back! Was Kagura there to receive her fan?” 

He nodded stiffly. Immediately her eyebrows drew together. “What happened?” 

He’d been trying to hold it back. But with all the memories, and Kagura’s  _ anger _ \--shaking, he settled down hard on the floor. Immediately Sango was at his side, brown eyes burning with apprehension. 

Gentle circles traced his back as she sighed, “Brother. Please tell me.” 

Kohaku’s eyes slid to where Mushin continued to play, babbling a story to himself.  _ Am I good person, Sango? Even with everything I’ve done? Do I even deserve to be free?  _

His limbs were trembling, even as he tried to hold still. The words wouldn’t come out--maybe because, though he already knew how Sango would answer, he was still afraid it wasn’t true.

“I thought too much about difficult things,” he said, finding that admittance easier. “The normal ways of dealing it aren’t working.” Because he couldn’t focus long enough to count backwards, and thinking of happy times just made him more aware of what he had that perhaps he didn’t deserve…

“Ah.” Brown eyes warm with understanding, his sister thought for a moment. Her next words were careful, indicating she had thought of the idea a while ago and had been waiting for an opportunity to bring it up with him. “Perhaps you should take a break from building the shrine.”

Teeth sinking into his bottom lip, Kohaku nodded. It was possible that the consistent memories of his village (and his part in destroying it) had been making things worse. “But what else would I do?” 

“Shippo told me he’s planning a party for Kagome.” At his questioning look, Sango let loose a broad smile. “She’s pregnant.”

“Oh!” Warmth spun in his stomach. “How nice for her and Inuyasha.” 

“And remembering what happened last time, Shippo might benefit from a guiding hand.” Sango had never received so many “good luck” trinkets (choking hazards,  _ all of them) _ as she had from Shippo’s friends at the kitsune academy. “Do you think you’d could help him with that?” 

After a moment, Kohaku nodded. The stakes for something like that were so much lower than the situation with the goddesses. He and Rin would complete the shrine, of course. But could there be any harm in stepping away for a moment, if it kept things in his mind together? “Thank you, sister.” 

“Of course.” She pulled him into a tight embrace. Kohaku smiled in spite of himself; Sango always hugged him so tightly, as though it was the only thing she needed strength for. “Is that all that’s bothering you?”

“Well…” Safe in her arms, with Mushin’s happy chatter in the background, it was easy to give in. “I think Kagura’s in a bad place. She might leave soon.” 

“Kagome’s been thinking that, too.” Sango pulled away to scan his face. “Does that upset you?” 

He gave her a wry smile. “I know it’s not easy for you to understand. But Kagura is the only other person alive who knows what it’s like to be Naraku’s puppet. And she saved me. I guess I just want her to find happiness, too.” 

“Maybe she needs to leave to find it,” Sango pointed out. “If she doesn’t feel safe here, there may be no other way forward.” 

“I guess so.” He sighed, shoulders slumping. “I wish I could help.” 

“She has to make that choice for herself.” As her son gave a sharp noise, Sango twisted to see what had caught his attention. “At some point, we all have to decide that we  _ want  _ to move forward.” 

He knew. But having an incentive helped, didn’t it? 

* * *

_ Kagura flinched at the sound of Kohaku’s wrist breaking. “Stop it.”  _

_ “Or what?” Naraku’s cold, bloodshot eyes stared back, unbothered. The screaming taijiya boy twisted vainly in his grip, trying to get free. “After everything you’ve done to disobey me, aren’t you just glad it’s not you, Kagura?”  _

_ Her face felt icy and wet, as though Kohaku’s tears were her own. Nails digging into her palms, she snapped, “I said  _ ** _stop it_ ** _ !”  _

_ As soon as she registered the smooth handle of her fan under her fingers, she twisted an arm. Wind sliced through Naraku’s shoulder, sending a spurt of black blood streaking his face. With a sharp noise of pain, he released his hold on Kohaku. As soon as the boy hit the floor he curled in on himself, bringing the broken wrist tight to his chest.  _

_ Before Kagura could blink, Naraku was standing in front of her. She braced herself for a blow.  _

_ “Kagura.” A freezing hand pressed to her cheek in a mockery of tenderness. Naraku’s other arm wrapped around her shoulders. “You’re always running away,” he said gently, as if to an unruly child. _

_ For a second she was frozen in shock; then Kagura came to her senses and struggled to get free. Miasma filled her lungs in a choking intoxication.  _

_ “Why do you keep trying to leave me?” Naraku sighed. “You are a part of me, my second creation. We belong together…” _

_ “Get off!” Desperation laced her tone, as he only clung to her tighter. He wasn’t trying to crush her, for once, but it still felt wrong. Another kind of chain...  _

_ “No matter where you go, you always will be mine.”  _

_ “No!” She shook her head hard, pushing against his chest. “I’m not yours.”  _

_ “Kagura.” Tentacles wrapped around her ankles, caressing her coldly. “Even you can’t run forever. Aren’t you tired?”  _

_ Tears pricked her eyes as she registered the hollowness in her chest. It grew to an aching chasm, an emptiness where she longed to feel life beating.  _

_ She fell still. _

_ “There.” Naraku’s tone was almost prideful, as he patted her head with the hand he’d pressed to her cheek. Kohaku’s cries faded away, until there was nothing except the two of them, together in the dark.  _

_ His voice turned mournful. “You never appreciate anything, Kagura.” _

_ She didn’t answer.  _

_ “You’re bored, you’re lonely, you want love and excitement--I gave you those things. And still, you betrayed me. Even now, I’m the villain in your mind. But I never rejected you, did I? Not like those other creatures who claim to want you now.”  _

_ Was he right? Of course he was. Even as much as she hadn’t wanted it to be true, he had known her. He had to, for her to exist in the first place.  _

_ There was something in her hand. Smooth. Where had it come from, again?  _

_ She couldn’t remember.  _

_ “You’ve always wanted  _ ** _more_ ** _ , Kagura. Ever since I birthed you.” With miasma and tentacles and arms, Naraku held her the way he never had when they were alive. “If you hadn’t wasted so much time fighting me, then you could have had it all. Love, power--freedom.”  _

_ Shoulders falling, Kagura leaned into his embrace. Oh, she was so tired of this.  _

_ It needed to end.  _

_ “Okay.” Speaking was hard when her tongue felt so heavy. “I’m not fighting you anymore.”  _

_ “No?” From the mirth in his voice, one would have thought Kikyo had declared her willingness to let him defile her. “Why?”  _

_ Kagura twisted just enough so that her arm could press between them, using all the wind in the room to bolster the force of her movement.  _

_ Demon bone and blue silk splattered with blood as the fan pierced her master’s chest.  _

_ With her blades of air behind it, the weapon sliced through bone and muscle, sending ribbons of blood streaking up Kagura’s arm--her neck--her cheek. She didn’t stop until the edge of one guard stabbed through the skin of his shoulder-blade, leaving her entire hand covered in gore. _

_ Naraku gasped in pain, his hold tightening around her. The pulsing of his heart against her wrist slowed; the sharp edge of a rib prodded the delicate skin of her forearm.  _

_ Was this what he had felt, when he’d killed her?  _

_ Had he felt anything at all?  _

_ “I don’t need to fight you because when I wake up, you’ll still be dead,” she snarled. “The games you play here don’t matter--I’ve already won.”  _

_ And then reality and her dream were the same. _

_ Naraku, dead. And Kagura, alive.  _

.

.

.

.

_ Instead of waking, she came to her senses in a sea of darkness--well, not total darkness. A few yards before her, she could see forms of light. _

_ So, because she would be stupid not to, Kagura headed in that direction.  _

_ Five golden figures sat cross-legged and still--so still. Each face was screwed up in concentration. As she walked towards the glow, one figure relaxed and turned to greet her.  _

_ “Wind witch.” When Haru spoke, his voice was gravelly with exhaustion.  _

_ “Kagura,” she corrected, sitting with her back to his. For a minute they stayed like that, holding one another up. With interest, she realized that she was still covered in Naraku’s blood.  _

_ The god didn’t seem to care. “I’m sorry that my blessing was unworthy. It’s good that you were not seriously hurt.”  _

_ “I figured it was a foolish mistake instead of a serious assassination attempt. Still, next time I would appreciate a more immediate apology.”  _

_ Haru chuckled with embarrassment. After an awkward pause, he said, “Akari and Nagisa have almost found peace.”  _

_ “Hm.” Swiping at her face with her clean sleeve, she decided not to inform him that she didn’t have it in her to care about the women. “What about you?” _

_ “Though our work to protect the village from our Father is strenuous, it is nice to have a purpose.” His back warmed, and she wondered if it was from exhaustion or happiness at doing something nice for a bunch of humans that caused it. “Have you found yours?”  _

_ “I don’t need a purpose.” Unfolding her fan, she winced at the splatter of blood and organ matter on the dark--floor? Who knew what it was--around them. As discreetly as possible, she tried to clean the stained fabric of her skirt. “But I am tired of running around aimlessly. So I think...I will try to make things work, here.”  _

_ “With the demon.”  _

_ Kagura wondered what the consequences of lying to a god would be; in the end just made an affirming noise in the back of her throat. “Hiding in fear is too boring for me, as it turns out.”  _

_ Haru frowned; even with her back to him, Kagura could tell. “Is he worth it? He murdered us--divine beings over whom he has no authority.”  _

_ “Yeah, well, your one sister tried to kill me, and the other one stuck me in her jar.” Wryness dripped from every word. “Forgive me for not feeling beholden to your moral compass.” ”  _

_ Haru shifted; Kagura shuffled her shoulders to make herself comfortable again. Her fan fell uselessly by her side; if they were in the real world, then the silk would be done for.  _

_ “Have you heard the tale of Izanami and Izanagi?” As he said the names, the other figures in the circle rumbled deep in their chests. Kagura eyed them, finding it wholly strange.  _

_ “Uh, no. Not much of the religious sort, I suppose.”  _

_ “They were lovers--the Land-Father and Land-Mother, creators of our Mother and Father. Izanami died as they were finishing with creating the world. They say She was always seeking more, jumping headfirst into everything without waiting for Izanagi. Even so, He loved Her, and was heartbroken when She died. So He killed the child that She birthed.”  _

** _That’s a cruel overreaction, _ ** _ she thought immediately. Hopefully the details weren’t that important, because the complex family tree and similar names were already tripping her up... _

_ “Perhaps that action was a sign that His love was wrong,” Haru sighed. “Izanagi went to the Underworld to retrieve Izanami. He claimed to want Her still, even in death.  _

_ However, when He fully saw what pain had done to Her--how it had stolen Her beauty, left Her impure--then Izanagi ran from Izanami. What’s more, He trapped Her in the Underworld forever.” _

_ At the pause for her reaction, Kagura managed to stutter out, “Ouch.”  _

_ “Indeed. To this day, for every soul Izanami takes, Izanagi crafts multiples in its place. They only hold bitterness towards one another, each blaming the other for the situation." His voice darkened even further. “My Father and Mother were born from Izanagi shortly after He abandoned Izanami. I believe that this story plays a part in who they are and what they did to us--and to you.  _

_ So, Kagura. Does your demon only love you in the way that Izanagi loved Izanami?”  _

_ “Huh?” She was struck by the swift change of subject. Then, without turning around, she elbowed him in the back. “That was quite a long and morbid story to get to your point! Seriously…”  _

_ Haru snickered in response.  _

_ “Okay, so he didn’t save me when he had the chance,” she admitted, crossing both arms over her blood-stained chest. “But he’s not like your grandfather or whatever. My worst wouldn’t scare him away, and I can more than handle his. And...a friend says he’s waiting for me. I have to see if that’s true, after everything.”  _

_ “Hm.”  _

_ Blushing deeply, Kagura muttered, “Besides, if your sisters have truly calmed down, then it’s probably a good time to work things out.”  _

_ Haru inhaled deeply. Kagura couldn’t know, but across the circle Rekka twisted to make eye contact with his brother. Lips pressed together tightly, he shook his head.  _

_ Haru breathed out. “You should wake up now.”  _


	37. Finale

Rin took quiet steps through the early morning fog, following the glow of the candle in her hand. In the sky far above, the stars were starting to fade into dawn. 

_ It’s so pretty.  _

As soon as she’d seen the shape in her dream, Rin knew. She couldn’t wait until sunrise, because then everyone would have wanted to go with her. They would find out soon, anyway; she’d left a note with her name and the direction she was heading in. Just so they wouldn’t worry too much--Inuyasha's talk had left an impression on her, after all. 

Rin just had to see it first by herself. Because of what it meant, if it was real.

She checked over her shoulder; the wall was getting farther and farther away. How much longer would it be? Stumbling in the dewy grass, she turned where the land sloped down a bit abruptly. 

_ Whoa. _

Stopping short, she gasped. 

Two huge bodies of water, stretching across where several hills used to be. Through the flickering light of her candle, and the faint glow in the sky from the not-yet-risen sun, Rin could see gentle curves where the surface met land again. The entire formation was easily the size of the entire village, twice over. 

Blue ripples merged at a few points, forming a pair of small islands at the center of the goddess’ masterpiece. Froth bubbled where the waters kissed. Wind danced over the surface joyously, tossing errant drops into the air, and the chill had goosebumps rising along the back of her neck. 

Rin kicked off her slippers. Kneading her toes into the soft earth, she let the wind blow the candle out. Now, there was only the pale gold of the sky above her. Her gaze stretched over the water, breath in her chest matching the pattern of the ebb and flow. 

A quiet voice sounded, like the chime of a bell.  _ You’re here.  _

As though someone had a rope around her waist, she moved forward. As soon as the water hit both ankles, she felt something in her chest burst open. But it wasn’t painful or violent; it was a relief. Like the release of a breath she’d been holding for a very long time, or finally seeing the return of a special person who had been gone for a long time. 

Tears spilled down her cheeks as the emotion swelled; she wiped them away with the edge of her sleeve. 

_ Rin,  _ the hushed voice whispered in her ear. Wait--it was two voices, not just one.  _ Please, accept our blessings.  _

The phantom sting of teeth on her legs eased with the gentle sway of waves around her. Worries and fears that had plagued her for years seemed to...settle. Not disappear, but rest in a single place, instead of spiralling around in her brain like a cloud of bees. Letting her eyes close, Rin waded deeper into the water, letting it curl around her like a cool embrace. 

_ Thank you. _

When Kohaku and Shippo found her after sunrise, they stopped short just like she had. The way their eyes widened at the size of the two bodies of water--she could have laughed. Instead, Rin sat back on dry land, both knees drawn up to her chest. A calm smile rested on her face. 

“Lord Sesshomaru isn’t going to like that,” Kohaku said finally, hands falling to his sides. “They changed the shape of the land without his permission.”

Rin’s smile was wide. “Don’t worry. I think he’ll forgive it this time.”

* * *

In her wind form, Kagura danced over the tops of the trees. The weak beam of the sun through the clouds seemed to follow her trail as she moved; it was soon drowned out by the glow that still permeated the air around the village, as she passed over the wall. 

Of course, as soon as she’d woken up from her dream, doubts about her decision to stay had flooded her mind. So what if Kohaku thought Sesshomaru was waiting for her? That didn’t mean things were in a place to move forward.

Indecision kept her from falling back asleep again, and the pulling of the winds had been practically unbearable for the rest of the night. Until just before dawn, when they’d stopped so abruptly that it felt like needles pricking up her arms.

Which, if the past few weeks were any clue, led her to assume that Inuyasha and his friends had done something incredibly stupid to upset the gods again. 

Perhaps Haru had spoken too soon. 

Strangely, as she glided through the human village, no one seemed to be concerned about--well, anything. Almost immediately she passed Kaede; the old priestess was walking side-by-side with a stumbling monk as ancient as she was. Both carried baskets of autumn fruits (if she’d been human, Kagura’s stomach would have growled) and chatted calmly. 

Twisting in a sharp turn, the wind sorceress passed by several humans of no consequence. It was several minutes before she caught sight of familiar faces again: Kohaku, Rin, and Shippo, all walking back towards the wall. Rin in particular looked much happier than usual, which was the nail in the coffin against Kagura’s theory that something bad had happened. The taijiya pulled a wagon behind him full of stones and a few pieces of wood. 

Where could they be headed with such a pathetic haul? 

“After we put the shrine together, will you help me make paper lanterns? I want things to look really pretty for Kagome and Inuyasha,” Shippo chattered; his nose twitched as Kagura passed by, but Rin’s excited nodding drew his attention away just as quickly. 

“Of course I will! Oh, I hope Lord Sesshomaru and Jaken will come to celebrate with us.” 

“If they’re on good terms by then. When I passed them earlier, Jaken was getting quite the earful,” Kohaku said, grunting as he yanked the wagon’s back left wheel free from a twisted root. 

“I don’t think Lord Sesshomaru was very happy about all the rocks he collected.” Rin turned a cross look towards the kitsune, who shrank down slightly. “Even after  _ Shippo  _ explained.”

“Then...maybe the celebration will be a nice distraction?” Kohaku tried, knowing the statement was weak even as it left his tongue. 

Rin’s responding smile was careful, reminding the taijiya way too much of his brother in-law. “Um, maybe?” 

“Yeah, because Sesshomaru’s always liked it when anything good happens to Inuyasha,” Shippo muttered under his breath, eyes rolling. 

_ Well,  _ Kagura thought.  _ That’s quite enough of that... _

So he wasn’t waiting, after all. Simply visiting the village to keep an eye on Rin, as he always did. And in a bad mood, at that. Stomach fluttering in disappointment, she made a hasty decision to head towards the shrine.

As she neared the temple, Kagura spied Miroku and Sango, all three children and Kilala in tow. Both adults wore easy smiles.The monk even had his arm slung  _ casually  _ low on his wife’s waist, not that she appeared to be bothered by it. A comically enormous picnic basket was tied to the demon cat’s back.

Kagura let her breeze ruffle the twins’ heads, sending them both into giggles. The demon cat must have caught her scent, from the way her neck twisted back and forth to follow the wind witch’s path towards the temple. 

Waiting until they were out of sight, Kagura shifted to let her bare feet touch down on the cool stones of the temple steps. The statues inside seemed to look at her rather disapprovingly, but she paid them no mind. It was much nicer weather this time. 

Some part of her had expected Kagome to be here, meditating as she seemed to do so often. But the temple was empty. 

Stepping forward, she settled before the altar. The red cup that had been so prominently displayed was gone, replaced with a shiny black shroud that now only held broken pieces--some smooth, some jagged. Curiously, she ran the tip of one finger along a shard of--glass? Clay? Who really knew. Chills danced up her spine like a snow yokai’s fingers. Had Akari’s jar popped out of the well with Inuyasha and Kagome when they’d returned from her world? 

Two rounded halves decorated with fissures split by a single, long crack answered her question. This was  _ Nagisa _ ’s jar, or what was left of it. Kagura had long assumed that the damn thing had been smashed in the forest; but it was obvious the damage was much more recent. Perhaps Inuyasha had vented his near-constant frustrations on it with Tessaiga; the visual made her chuckle. 

Her thumb prodded a sharper edge, just shy of the pressure needed to draw blood.  _ Except he’s not the only yokai with a temper around here… _

Nagisa couldn’t have attempted to fight the daiyokai with this weapon; Kohaku definitely would have mentioned such a thing. Which meant that Sesshomaru had found the jar some other time after they’d parted ways, and destroyed it. 

_ But why would he do that? Being in that thing is fucking terrifying; putting the goddesses in there would certainly have solved all his problems. Even if I would have kicked his ass for it-- _

_ Oh.  _

Breath stilted in her lungs. 

Then, as suddenly as they’d left her, swirls of air erupted. They all formed into a single strong wave of cold air, shoving Kagura towards the door of the temple. If the wind had a voice, perhaps it would have been cheering her on. 

“Okay, okay, I’m going!” She snapped. “But not to find him right away. I’m...going to find lunch first.” 

The whistling in her ears felt suspiciously like a shriek. Waving her arms sharply, she dispersed the gusts. “Do you want to make me look desperate?! Besides, if this is actually happening and I’m not just making shit up in my own head, then he can wait a bit longer. After all the trouble he's put me through...” 

Honestly, she needed some time to process. 

Just so she didn’t make a complete fool of herself the next time she looked him in the eye. 

* * *

“Inuyasha, why are making that face?” Swallowing a snort, Kagome paused on her walk up the path. Her husband had seemed in a cheerful mood after seeing the breathtaking lake that the goddesses had used to bless Rin with that morning, but now his expression was all scrunched up. “I think…” Sniffing dramatically, he whipped his head left and right. “_Kagura_ just left?”

“What?” She tilted her head in confusion. 

He nodded decisively. “Yep. Definitely her. No idea what she was up to, though.” 

“Kagura’s been actively avoiding us, Inuyasha. Why would she suddenly show up around the village, much less without anybody noticing?” Kagome reached over to tap his nose soundly. “Maybe you’re losing your touch...” 

“I am not!” He batted her hand away. “Would  _ I  _ have been the one to tell ya the baby was in there if I wasn’t sure? And that was after a three-day work trip without any sleep!” 

“Yes, and as I recall, you knocked Kaede’s good teapot clear off the table. Then said, and I quote, ‘What the  _ fuck?” _

“I was exhausted. And surprised.” He shrugged. “You know words aren’t my thing.” 

She reached up to tap his nose again, and he caught her wrist easily. Kagome laughed and pulled vainly as he mimed gnawing on it. 

“That tickles!” Pushing against his shoulder, she teased, “Well, if Kagura was here, then why do you think she left?” 

“Dunno. Maybe she was disgusted at how happy everyone is.” Their hands fell to one side as he intertwined their fingers, and they resumed walking. “Not that I blame ‘em.” 

“It’s just such a  _ relief _ . Akari and Nagisa are finally in a form where they feel safe and respected, and Rin’s doing much better.” Snuggling into his side, Kagome put a little skip into her step. “Plus we have a better understanding of how to help her if she gets in a bad place again.” 

““Even fuckin’ Sesshomaru cracked a smile.” Inuyasha snorted. “Though it probably would’ve been a bigger one if Jaken hadn’t pissed him off so bad.” 

“It wasn’t nice of Shippo to trick him.” Kagome had truly been impressed that the kitsune hadn’t cried when faced with the furious daiyokai; luckily Inuyasha and Sango had been there to keep him from losing his single tail. “Although I think your brother made a bit bigger of a deal of it than it needed to be.” 

“That’s literally what he does.” A tug on his arm brought Inuyasha to a stop, as Kagome stooped to pick a sprig of something poking up from the ground. “Every time he gets his big floofy pants in a twist over something, that dumb frog gets it.” 

“Maybe he’s upset because Rin invited him to our celebration for the baby,” Kagome mused. Her final words were drowned out by her husband’s loud groan. 

“Aw, whyyyyy did you do thaaaat?” 

“Because he’s family, and it will make Rin happy." She sent a freezing look over her shoulder. "It’s my party, so I get to decide who I want there.” 

Shuddering, Inuyasha mumbled, “Thought it was for both of us…” 

Popping back up with a cheerful grin and the plant in hand, Kagome added, “Besides, if he comes, then there’s a much better chance Kagura will too!  I want as many of our friends there as possible!” 

“Keh. Well, you’re the boss.” Though his words were dripping with sarcasm, he couldn’t keep a fond smile from gracing his features at how cute she was. Ah, well. Sesshomaru had been behaving  _ for the most part.  _ So long as he didn’t do anything stupid, maybe Inuyasha could just pretend he wasn’t there and try to enjoy the party anyway. 

For Kagome’s sake. 

* * *

Morning had easily shifted to afternoon while Sesshomaru oversaw (read: offered no help whatsoever while silently judging everyone else) the move of Rin’s shrine to the hill above the goddess’ lake. So just after his ward had politely excused herself on some errand for the kitsune, Sesshomaru had gone to the fields. 

Jaken had not sought to accompany him--rather, the imp was currently in hiding as a consequence for his delusions that Sesshomaru desired a collection of useless rocks. Though it had come out that such confusion was the work of Inuyasha’s mischievous friend, Jaken  _ should  _ have been wise enough to discern such a trick. Thus, he would no longer be welcome by his master’s side for the rest of the week. 

Though annoying, his servant’s absence was also somewhat of a relief. It meant that Sesshomaru could ponder in peace, as he seemed to do so often lately. 

He settled cross-legged in the tall grass, the dark line of the woods where they’d first made contact with the goddesses straight in his field of sight. Rin had explained to him that Akari and Nagisa had blessed her. If such things were true, then Sesshomaru could only be pleased. Divine favor in combination with the support of her friends would keep Rin safe. He would be free to lengthen the time between visits and reorient his attentions.

Another thing to be happy about: the goddesses had now shifted into a natural form. If the change was permanent, as it seemed to be with their brothers, then the threat had been nullified. Twin lakes were nothing to concern himself over. 

Did Kagura know? Would it make a difference in her decision to leave? 

A sharp pain prickled behind his eyes. He frowned, displeased with the potency of the emotion. 

_ I thought that I had made peace with losing her long ago.  _

He remembered asking her why she’d stayed. As expected of such a difficult creature, Kagura had dodged the question. At the time, Sesshomaru had thought that it had something to do with him--the part that had been difficult to understand was why. 

He had failed to preserve her existence. Tensaiga had refused, as she could do nothing for a creature whose physical form wasn't mainly intact. Truthfully, his weapon had grieved such a limitation; even at this moment he could feel thrums of regret in the blade resting against his side. Lately, it seemed that the consequences of such actions--those that he would perhaps rethink, if he had the chance--sought to overwhelm him. Being the creature that he was, Sesshomaru felt he was handling them as best as could be expected. 

For example, he had decided to more or less accept what it was he felt towards Kagura, unreasonable as it was. Unreasonable as  _ she  _ was.

And now, perhaps he would never see her again. Not because of death, but because she could not stand to be near him. How could things have changed so quickly? 

His better, more refined senses demanded he leave this place and offer his attention to the other problems requiring it. To  _ act.  _

Yet the same resolution that had led him to smash the jar, and to deliver the pieces of it himself, remained. 

_ She stayed. It's your turn now.  _

But it was foolish, to keep offering her something if she didn't want it. Pathetic, even. And he was nothing of the sort--he who had slain gods and rescued mortals from the certainty of death. Nothing so low as an emotion could beat him. 

And yet, when he shifted as though to stand, Tensaiga whispered her plea and Bakusaiga a sharp warning. So he sat back down, resolving to remain in his haze of self-pity for only a few more minutes. 

* * *

More time than he cared to admit went by. 

But then, just as the sky cleared, Kagura’s scent flooded the air around him. Sesshomaru was torn between the relief that she was actually there, and deep annoyance that she’d made him wait. 

When she materialized, the look on her face made the frustration (most of it, anyway) melt away. Kagura didn’t look weary or on-edge--her more usual demeanor, these days--nor was there a mask of false confidence--the expression that had so often been her armor in her time under Naraku.

There were few words Sesshomaru could decide on to describe it, other than victorious. It was reminiscent of how she’d looked when they’d met before, once the storm god had returned her body. The time when he’d momentarily lost his pride and kissed her…

Immediately, the daiyokai’s face smoothed into passivity. His eyes locked on something far off in the distance. It was automatic,  _ reflexive,  _ how his words were executed with perfect nonchalance: “Why are you here?” 

Settling beside him, Kagura tucked her fan into her obi, leaving both hands free to brace the ground. Dark lips quirked into a smirk as she answered, “I was bored, and it’s a nice day to wander about. Not a hobby I’d expect of you, though.” 

If such words affected him, it didn’t show. He was practically a statue, staring out into the fields. 

“Have you been waiting long?” She glanced up at the sky--the clouds had cleared since that morning. Pale shades of pink and purple peeking between the tops of the trees meant that a glorious sunset was only a few hours away. 

“No.” Sesshomaru paused; the organ in Kagura’s chest shuddered at how much she wanted that to be a lie. “I supposed you might be nearby.” 

“Oh?” False nonchalance was undermined by the honest hope in her voice. Was it as obvious to him as it was to her own ears? She moved an inch closer, wishing the daiyokai would look at her. “And what could you possibly want with me?” 

Sesshomaru did not explain further. Even when she leaned forward, he only remained perfectly still. 

_ As usual, he’ll only do so much.  _

_ Hypocrite.  _

Carefully, Kagura ghosted a kiss against the yokai marks on Sesshomaru’s right cheek. One of the Western Lord’s hands moved reflexively to the twin swords at his hip. Kagura froze, mouth against cold skin. Then his head turned sharply, and their lips brushed instead. 

She kept very still as he pressed another kiss to her mouth. It was more gentle than she’d ever expected from people like them. When Kagura opened her eyes, gold gleamed back at her. The aching warmth in her chest stole her breath.

How could it be possible to  _ want  _ this much? 

Then he pulled away, and she realized that his claw wasn’t resting on Bakusaiga, but its sister. His gaze danced out of reach again, and she resisted the urge to smack him for it. 

“Are you staying?” It must have taken quite an effort to make the words sound bored; or maybe, for him, it didn’t take that much work at all. 

Regardless, Kagura’s answer left her lips like a prayer. “Yes.”

“I won’t ask you to remain here.” 

“I know.” Looking anywhere but at her face, he wouldn’t be able to see her smile. But perhaps he knew it was there, anyway. “I wouldn’t allow myself to be kept.” 

He didn’t move away as she slipped an arm around his. Kagura purposely leaned her head a bit closer than necessary, just in case he decided to kiss her again. It wasn’t something she expected she’d get much of in front of other people. Nor was there any way to tell how much more time they’d have alone...

He shifted, pulling Tensaiga from her scabbard and laying it across his lap, so that part of the sword rested on Kagura’s thigh. She gave him a questionable look, and he huffed as though she was being difficult. Shaking his arm free, he grabbed her wrist and placed Kagura’s palm flat on the blade. 

“Here,” he said, equally to her as to the sword. Kagura swallowed the urge to ask him what the fuck he was doing because she  _ really  _ didn’t get it and instead tried to look solemn.

The metal felt cool under her touch; so smooth that it felt just on the edge of softness, even though that was impossible. Some kind of energy emanated from where her skin met the forged fang; an icy sensation traveled up her arm and settled in the back of her throat. 

“You should have saved me back then,” Kagura found herself saying, as though in a trance. It was stupid--people talking to their weapons was the most annoying habit, and if he expected her to start doing it regularly when the thing wasn’t even going to answer  _ back, _ then they’d have a problem--but somehow, it felt as though the blade truly heard her words. “You saved so many others, but not me. It wasn’t fair.” 

The apology-- _ I wish, oh I wish-- _ didn’t sound in her ears, but somewhere deep in her chest. It was something she just knew. Effortless, like manipulating the wind.

His hand lifted from her wrist, letting her move freely. What he thought of what she’d said, Kagura couldn’t be sure. All she knew was that affirming her right to live ( _ to have survived _ ) out loud felt strangely poignant, even though she hadn’t been preventing herself from ever doing it. 

“You’re so weird,” she said finally, shaking her head at the daiyokai. “That was weird.” 

Instead of returning Tensaiga to her place at his waist, he placed her flat on the grass on his other side. Kagura watched in utter confusion as he also removed Bakusaiga, then his pauldron. If she didn’t know better what he could do on pure demonic strength, she might have thought he was leaving himself defenseless as some show of trust in her. 

“No need to undress to capture my attention,” she finally said. “Rushing such things isn’t normally like you…” 

His look was perhaps less withering due to the fact they were sitting in the dirt, like two humans on a holiday. “I’m not trying to seduce you.” 

“Well, why not?” Kagura fluttered her eyelashes at him. “I’m the only woman in the world who would put up with you.” 

Before he could reply, she swallowed the last of her caution and slid over to sit in his lap. Both arms looped around his shoulders loosely; she swung her legs over one of his knees, careful not to step on the swords lying on the other side. 

“Kagura.” She’d succeeded in cracking his veneer; his eyes narrowed at her boldness, and her name was nearly indistinguishable between the grit of his teeth. 

“Sesshomaru,” she mimicked. Her shoulder brushed the mass of fur draped over his right arm, and she resisted informing him that it actually made things quite comfortable. “You know that it’s true.” 

For a moment, she wasn’t sure what he was going to do-- dump her on the ground so he could disappear in a huff, crush her throat in one hand, kiss her again--but, as it turned out, he simply remained still. Time slowed around them, and Kagura almost felt like she could go to sleep like that. 

His voice broke through. “There are traits that I share with Naraku.” 

The sorceress scoffed. “Not many.” 

“What are they.” It was a question, but he didn’t ask it like one. 

“You’re both powerful, I guess. With a distaste for humans.” She shrugged as best as she could. “But Naraku was weak. A coward. He liked to play games, with violent ends. That said, you’re quite difficult to read. But you don’t fear power, and thus you don’t fear losing it. So games are meaningless to you.” 

They stayed like that for a while -- she couldn’t have guessed how long, because every minute he spent letting her use him as a chair was a moment she stayed pleasantly surprised. 

Finally he spoke again. 

“You have called me a coward several times.” 

“Yeah, well, you’ve been a jerk quite a bit.” She shifted slightly. “Though at least you felt your reasons were sensible. Naraku was cruel for no reason other than because he despised himself.”

“And I am cruel without being motivated by such self-hatred.” The daiyokai’s tone didn’t sound frustrated or deprecating; simply matter-of-fact. 

“I guess so. Also...” Her heart stuttered in her chest. She tried not to be obvious about the deep breath she took to calm it. “My existence meant nothing to Naraku.” 

His head turned sharply, in the direction of the twin swords in the grass. For a moment Kagura felt herself ridiculously jealous of them, for gaining his attention so easily. If they were even saying anything, and it wasn’t just him trying to ignore her less-than-subtle implication that he cared. 

Turning back, he spoke as though their conversation had been uninterrupted. “Naraku is dead. We have no purpose in ruminating over it.” 

“You brought it up.” She moved in an attempt to climb off his lap; surprise burst in her chest as one claw came up to keep her still. If anything, he pulled her _closer_. The warmth in her chest spread to engulf her entire being, and she wondered wryly when she’d become such a sap. 

“The goddesses are at peace now,” he said stiffly. 

“Stop trying to make conversation and we will be, too,” she teased. “Grim silence suits you better, anyway.” 

He frowned in apparent insult. Then to Kagura’s complete delight, he said (though through gritted teeth and at a nearly imperceptible volume), “You were the one who claimed you could put up with me.” 

“I suppose that’s an acceptable point,” she replied, shielding her joy with a haughtiness she knew would result in an eye-roll and annoyed grumble. But no amount of bickering could ruin the fact that this moment, right now, was  _ hers.  _

Sure, he didn’t ask her to stay. Question why she’d changed her mind about pursuing, again; apparently he didn’t want to know what, or who may have played a part. Nor had he made her any real promises. Maybe he never would. 

_ But we’ve both wasted quite enough time. And sure, maybe we needed that, but damn if my heart isn’t ready to finally be free.  _

And for the first time in a long while, Kagura felt like she was. 

* * *

_ Her Father was the god of the storm and the sea. So, when she fell, Izuna went to the ocean.  _

_ In nearly every town she passed, there was a temple for her uncles. She laid herself across the stone steps, feeling rain soak through to the strange body she’d been given. People stared. Izuna ignored them; no humans would know to worship her, so she had no need of them. _

_ Each time she called for Their help, thunder and lightning would rain across the lands, as the Wind and the Rain argued over what to do with her.  _

_ She wasn’t Theirs.  _

_ But she wasn’t His or Hers, either.  _

_ And Izuna wanted to come home.  _

_ Maybe in time, she would regret leaving her siblings behind. But Izuna wanted to know she could have that time, first. When she had power again, when she had control, then she would earn back their places, too.  _

_ Each town, each temple, each storm--Izuna kept on.  _

_ Finally, she reached the last temple, where the mountain of earth fell into the waves. It looked as she felt; a crumbling pile of stone and weeds, battered to barely nothing by the salt in the air and heavy rains. Mother’s heat didn’t reach as heavily, here. Father’s waves swelled below the cliffside, but it couldn’t touch her where she was.  _

_ Taking the jar out from where she hid it in her cloak, Izuna let it rest in the dirt, the way she had each time before. With both arms, she clung to the remaining stones and asked again.  _

_ When her eyes opened, Raijin stood before her. He frowned, shaking his head, before holding out a hand.  _

_ “Your Mother and Father can bitch if they want, but they’ll have no one but themselves to blame.”  _

_ Izuna was the last born of her Father’s sword, thrown away to Earth.  _

_ She was the only one of them to flee to another heaven.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an epilogue and writer's notes coming to ease us into the withdrawals, everyone. 
> 
> If you feel like it, tell me what your fave parts were, what you thought of the final twist/if you saw the clues along the way, and if you have any hopes/wishes/dreams for the sequel that I'm planning ;) 
> 
> Thanks for reading this absurdly long fic <3


	38. EPILOGUE/WRITER'S NOTE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Contains an excess of fluff.

“Well? What do you think?” 

Looking up from Shippo’s excited grin, Kagome placed one hand over her eyes and surveyed the courtyard. Yellow and orange paper lanterns draped from the roof of her house, swaying gently in the breeze. Beside her, Inuyasha bit back a snort--Shippo had covered the damage in the roof with armfuls of colorful autumn leaves that his friends from the Kitsune Academy had sent. 

(She’d already been warned not to touch them if they floated down, lest there be an explosion leaving her covered with a bright pink powder.)

Tea tables had been placed in the grass, mis-matched candles and cups grouped atop them. Villagers and their few friends that had been able to travel on short notice--Jinenji, his mother, Totosai, and Hachi--milled about. 

“It’s beautiful.” Tearfully, she pressed both hands to her cheeks. Inuyasha and Shippo’s faces twisted into matching expressions of panic. 

“I’m sorry, Kagome! I didn’t mean to make you cry!” 

“Aw, don’t get upset--see, runt, I told ya tossin’ all the furniture out here was a bad idea--” 

“Shut up, I love it!” She wailed, fighting off her husband’s attempts to dry her tears with his sleeve. “It’s great!” 

Shippo beamed in equal parts relief and joy.“Aren’t we lucky,” Inuyasha sighed, though he couldn’t put his usual bite into it with how stunning Kagome’s smile was. “So, how do these things work? You wanna get everyone together to do a toast?”

“Of course I do! We’re having a  _ baby, _ how exciting is that?”

Miroku chuckled from the porch, both hands working to untwist Keiko’s belt from where she had tied it to Emi’s. “It seems Lady Kagome is very happy with the decorations.” 

" Did we get a party like this, Daddy?” Emi kicked her feet out as she waited to be freed. 

Miroku nodded, sighing with relief as Sango handed off their toddler to Rin so she could come and help them. Her fingers worked quickly to untangle the fabric as he added, “Of course! We were very excited about you. Your great-uncle Mushin toasted you doubly.” 

“You and Mama should have another baby,” Keiko said, taking a step forward only to be tugged back. “So she can be as happy as Lady Kagome.”

Miroku and Sango’s laughs mingled with the gentle  _ swish  _ of fabric as Sango finally pulled her twins apart. As the taijiya deftly re-tied Emi’s outfit together, she gave her husband a wink. “We’ll see…” 

Twisting Keiko’s belt into a bow, Miroku raised an eyebrow at her. “Are you saying that it isn’t completely out of the question, then?” 

“Not completely. Let’s see how things go with work, and then, maybe, in two or three years…” Sango couldn’t resist a playful smile at the stunned look on her husband’s face. “Once the girls are deep into training, I won’t be able to take as many missions, anyway.” 

Cupping her face, Miroku pulled her into a joyful kiss. The girls squealed around them; Emi clapped both hands over her eyes. 

“Oi, you two!” Inuyasha snapped, waving a porcelain bottle in their direction. Villagers with empty cups clamored around him eagerly; across the courtyard, Kagome was guiding more people in his direction. “Stop bein’ gross and come help me!” 

The next several minutes were a flurry of pouring and handing off drinks for the toast. Inuyasha whirled around with the next cup only to nearly drop it as a chill went up his spine. 

“None for me, thank you.” Kagura’s eyes glittered at him over the edge of her fan. 

“I wasn’t offerin’,” he retorted. The confusion hidden beneath his brash tone intensified as he noted Jaken and Sesshomaru a few yards away, talking to Kohaku. Apparently his good luck had been all used up ensuring that Koga, Ayame, and their trouble-making brood hadn't been able to make it…

It would figure that he could only have so much going right. “Keh. So, what are you doing here?” 

“It’s a party. I was invited.” Taking the cup from his grasp, she handed it off to a gaping farmer standing by Inuyasha’s elbow and waved him away. “Doesn’t take a particularly astonishing amount of intelligence to figure out.” 

“That doesn’t mean anyone expects you to--”

“Speech, give a speech!” Miroku bellowed, ducking slightly into the crowd of guests.   


“I know that was you, Miroku!” Inuyasha snapped over his shoulder, giving Kagura the chance to slip away. “But, ugh,  _ fine. _ Um…”

Kagome appeared at his side, pressing a warm cup into his palm. Inuyasha felt his pulse slow slightly from her presence and encouraging smile.   


“Uh, so. Everybody’s prob’ly heard by now.” He gestured to his wife with one elbow. “She’s pregnant.” 

When no one put their cup to their lips, he awkwardly carried on. “Some people might think that ain’t too special. I mean, babies are born all the time, and stuff like that. But…it is a big deal. For me, anyway. Cause there’s been a lot of shit goin’ on--which only some people need to know about, so don’t go askin’ for details if nobody’s told ya--that made it hard, at first. Lots of stuff to worry about. But Kagome and I feel like this is a really, really good thing. And so I hope you all think it’s good, too. So uh...thanks for being here, and I hope you’re around to see where the future takes us.” 

Face bright red and ears flat against his head, Inuyasha took a hearty swig from the cup in his hand. Sango and Miroku mirrored him, which thankfully encouraged the rest of the guests to do so as well. Shippo bounded up out of the crowd, waving one paw like they were at a town meeting. 

“Inuyasha! Speaking of the future--if you’re gonna be busy taking care of a baby, does that mean that I’m going to be the village protector?” 

“Eh?” The hanyou opened his mouth to say something rude, but was drowned out as Kagome, Miroku, and Sango immediately started cheering the kitsune on. 

“Oh, Shippo, you’ll do a great job!”

“Yes, we’ll be so lucky to have you keeping all of us safe--”

“Make sure you work hard on your spinning top and other tricks, okay?” 

* * *

From his position in the back of the crowd, Sesshomaru gazed towards the direction of the village wall, wondering if he’d ever be able to leave the banality behind. Kagura snickered beside him. Leaning in, she held up her fan to shield her words. 

“We’ve barely been here twenty minutes and you’re already looking for an escape?”

“I have better things to do,” he replied dryly. Now that they were once again on speaking terms, Jaken had informed him that he now held the goddess’ cup. Sesshomaru had an idea of how to put it to use, though it would require some discussion. And that was but one development of many...

Still, things weren’t entirely infuriating--he was being given a wide berth by everyone in attendance, villagers and demons alike. That had given him time to instruct Jaken on contracting someone to fix the damaged roof,  _ only _ on the condition that neither Inuyasha nor Kagome be informed it had been his doing. It would be a gift to himself, in a way, to at some point inform his brother himself and see the look on the hanyou’s face. Or perhaps to use it as a shield against some other pointless social engagement like this one.

“Lord Sesshomaru! Lady Kagura!” Rin ran up to them, holding Sango’s youngest on her hip. “I’ve been in charge of keeping the shrines tidy. You should come see!” 

Kagura heaved a sigh. “And I thought we were going to make it through a single damn day without mentioning anything shrine or goddess-related.” 

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes. All this talk of offspring, and now here the humans were, putting his ward in the position of stand-in mother. Despite the fact she’d barely had a childhood herself. “Rin. Put  _ that _ down.” 

“What?” Rin glanced towards the child in her arms, whose eyes began to grow teary at the intensity of the daiyokai in front of him. “Oh, sorry, Lord Sesshomaru!”

Cheerfully, she shoved the toddler at Kagura, leaving her free to take her benefactor’s arm. “Come on!” 

Kagura swore in surprise, scrambling not to drop the  _ ooh-he’s-heavy-definitely _ - _ not-a- _ baby. He stared up at her with dark, curious eyes. Then he latched onto her shoulder, screeching, “Big sister!” 

From across the courtyard where he was crafting his own flowery toast to Inuyasha’s fatherhood, Miroku turned stark white.

“Sesshomaru,” Kagura grit between her teeth. The daiyokai started away from the clamor with his ward. She called after him, “Don’t you dare leave me alone with this thing--” 

“I will be only a moment.” Amusement glinted in his eyes. 

“You’ll pay for this when we get home,” she snapped, dodging a tiny fist as it swung towards one pointed ear. Miroku moved with a speed unknown to most of his friends to liberate his son from her grasp with profuse apologies. 

“Lord Sesshomaru,” Rin hissed quietly, knowing he could hear her. “I think Lady Kagura looks quite good with a baby. Don’t you?” 

He gave her a warning look, but it just sent her into a fit of giggles. And the fact that she finally seemed happy again made everything else that had annoyed him today melt away. 

“Sorry again, Kagura! He thinks every woman with dark hair is his best friend. Very popular, takes after his papa, haha!” Miroku joked weakly, bouncing Mushin in his arms. 

“Whatever.” Brushing her hands off on the front of her robe, Kagura hurried to catch up with Rin and Sesshomaru. Nails digging into the daiyokai’s other arm, she gave his companion a dirty look. “Thought such tricks were beneath you, Rin.” 

“It wasn’t a trick, Lady Kagura. You haven’t gotten a chance to hold him yet.” Rin grinned; for reasons Kagura couldn’t fathom, she seemed to brighten whenever it was the three of them together like this. 

“They look kind of nice together like that,” Kagome whispered to her husband, tugging on the sleeve of his haori. 

“If by nice you mean weird.” Inuyasha sighed, though for once he sounded more confused than suspicious. “I can’t believe those two bothered to come. Especially him.” 

“Why do you think he came if he didn’t want to?” Kagome moved to sit at one of the tea-tables. Her husband followed with a thoughtful look. 

“Maybe just to make fun of it. Or to get details for his mom, she loves to talk shit.” 

“Or maybe he came to support us?” Propping both hands up on her chin, she gave a winning grin. “Either way, are you having fun?” 

The hanyou’s ear twitched, catching the tail end of a conversation Sango and Jinenji’s mother were having about old wives tales for spring babies. Miroku’s daughters were each tying the end of a belt to their brother’s feet, ignoring their father’s gentle admonishments. Totosai was giving poor Kohaku a long lecture about the weapon the taijiya had been working with for about five years (and thus knew plenty about himself). Kagome beamed up at him, having gone three days without any nausea. 

And in the distance, Rin happily walked arm in arm with two creatures he never would have expected to be crafting a future of their own together, much less be there for him to witness it. 

“Yeah,” he admitted, chucking under Kagome’s chin. “I am.” 

* * *

“I’m going down to the water. Are you coming, Lord Sesshomaru?” Rin smiled at her lord. He shook his head once; Kagura made a face that communicated she was not interested, either. “Okay, then I’ll see you back at the village for dinner, then!”

Rin bowed, earning her a hint of a smile from the daiyokai, before running down the hill to the lake. Sesshomaru watched her go. After a moment, an elbow jabbed his ribs. 

“Ahem.” Kagura leaned towards his face expectantly. Sesshomaru glanced about quickly and, seeing that no one was watching, dipped his head. Just before their lips touched, Kagura broke apart into a gust of air, swirling around his neck. 

“ _ Kagura,”  _ he snapped. She materialized leaning against the side of the altar, laughing into her hand. Sesshomaru frowned. 

“Your face was just perfect--” 

Her words melted into a happy hum as he stepped forward and pulled her into a kiss. The daiyokai pressed one hand against her hip, keeping her settled against the stone, so that she couldn’t blow away again. 

“This is probably really insulting to the gods, you know,” Kagura mumbled against his mouth. Her foot kicked against the altar as she tried to pull him closer.  _ Heh. After all the trouble they caused, perhaps we should go a bit further on one of these sometime…  _

“Oh, I forgot to tell you!” She pulled back, ignoring his long-suffering growl. “Your mother wants me to come visit.” 

Sesshomaru froze. Glee erupted in her chest, as his face swam between several different emotions at once--a sight she had never seen and would remember forever. “My--what?” 

“That’s what the letter that some whimpery little tanuki delivered this morning said.” She smiled smugly. “Apparently she’s  _ dying  _ to meet me.” 

* * *

_WRITER'S NOTE:_

I started this fic when things were (and still are) fairly difficult for me. It was easy to write so much and update quickly because I’m alone a lot of the time, and it helps distract from doing things that are more harmful for me. I would write in huge chunks and then move them around based on when I wanted things to happen, or go back in to flesh out pieces of it. I wrote the ending chapter weeks before we actually reached it, then kept going back to rework it as things moved forward. This is the longest fic I’ve ever written in my life but I am so proud of it. 

I will say that I’m planning a sequel fic as there are still things I would like to explore, especially with Kagura and the new pressures she’d be under as a future bride to a Demon Lord. That fic will  _ not  _ be standalone as there will definitely be some connecting threads to this one. I appreciate everyone who read, commented, gave kudos, and bookmarked this fic. It makes me so indescribably happy that so many people in this fandom enjoyed it! 

**Inspiration** : 

**A.** I love Kagura so much and always felt her death, though powerful, was really unfair since she tried so hard to constantly survive. I wanted to explore what moving through a world without Naraku might actually look like, for someone who has never existed outside of that traumatic bond. What would she do with all the freedom she has, when the now-cut puppet strings are still dragging on the ground behind her? Those freed from highly controlled environments usually struggle for a while afterwards, as they have no coping skills for forming healthy attachments and a lot of fear of ending up in the same place they were just in. With Kagura, I wanted to explore the dichotomy of wanting so badly to connect and trust, but also being terrified of losing newfound freedom and autonomy. 

**B.** When I started this, I actually did not care for Sesshomaru at all. He’s what Kagura wants and I think she deserves the world, so that was the whole purpose of the shipping part of the fic. I will say that after 20-some chapters, I think I understand him a lot more and I enjoy writing him more than I ever thought I would, haha. Their relationship is incredibly difficult to parse out, but I think that in their own ways they do adore one another and would be well-matched in dealing with each other’s bullshit. 

**C.** I read the story of Susanoo and Amaterasu with the jewels/sword. It reminded me of how Naraku created beings for his own means. The fact that there was so little information about what happened to the women and men after they were created also triggered thoughts about neglectful parenting and abandonment. A lot of mythology changes tone when interpreted by different cultures and in different times. Whereas the purpose of the story itself might have been to explain how certain phenomena exist, or to demonstrate the power and relationship between the two siblings, with my trauma lens all I could see was how quick creation can lead to discarding. 

**D.** Originally, Rin was not the character I was planning to delve into with regards to trauma. She always seems so happy and cared for in the anime/manga. But maybe that’s exactly why seeing her actually have to deal with the enormous amount of trauma she’s lived through ended up feeling necessary to me. Sango is the character whose trauma I find deeply interesting, but at the point of the Final Act she has also found many outlets for healing in terms of building a family, saving her brother, and opening herself up to love with Miroku.

**E.** Kagura’s story in the anime/manga of course ended with her death, so I wanted to explore how having the freedom that she always wanted comes with its own consequences of (1) f ear of making lasting relationships in case they turn into being controlled (2) General detachment from making committed decisions, in case it turns out to make things worse. 

**Music: Not all of these songs reference specific moments or feelings expressed in the fic, but many of them do. **

Marianas Trench - The Killing Kind and Ever After albums 

Halsey - Hopeless Fountain Kingdom album, Graveyard, Haunting, Suga's Interlude   


Dreamcatcher - Deja Vu, Silent Night, Piri, Good Night 

Skillet - Rebirthing, Comatose, Awake & Alive, Falling in the Black, Never Surrender 

Boyce Avenue - Use Somebody

The Band Camino - Haunted, Daphne Blue, Less Than I Do

Anna Akana - Casualty album 

Crystalyne - Wolves

Syence - Nice Girl 

Ani Difranco - Joyful Girl 

Amber Liu - Hands Behind My Back, Borders

**For Kagura specifically** : 

Niykee Heaton - Bad Intentions 

Marianas Trench - Echoes of You 

Halsey - Don’t Play, Angel on Fire, Hopeless 

**Names: **

Mushin - in-universe reference to Miroku’s guardian (state of no mind) 

Keiko - references character from _Yu Yu Hakusho_   


Emi - references character from _Your Lie In April_   


Yukina - references character from _Yu Yu Hakusho _

Nagisa - Water’s edge 

Akari - Light/Brightness 

Izuna - Fountain 

Rekka - Burning/fire 

Haru - Sunlight 

Hikaru - Brightness

Kai - Ocean 

Gorou - Fifth son


End file.
